Happy 11th Birthday Jacob!
If I had any of your baby photos stored onto this computer or even knew where the CDs that contain them are, I would post them here.
Wait a minute, maybe this will work?
Thank you Facebook.
Anyway....On March 4 at 2:23 AM, you turned 11 years old. 11. Old. Wow. I would roll my eyes at my own mom when she'd sigh wistfully about my being born just yesterday but now I know exactly what she meant. Just yesterday you wore Baby Gap overalls with your little shirt poking out. You rode Ezra around the house. You knew every. single. Thomas train that ever was and played with them all. day. long. Now you wear size 8 Levis with Star Wars shirts, have mastered every Mario Wii game we own, and, well, you'd break poor Ezra's feeble back if you attempted to just lean on him.
I feel like I missed a lot and at the same time I feel like I haven't given you enough room to grow. I regret not going to the Children's Museum while you were in preschool like I had planned. I think I should've let you fight your own bully battles from the day they started, maybe it'd be easier for you now? I don't know. I still feel new to this. You are 11, but you are number 1. Everything I do with you I do first. Sorry, Buddy.
I won't use this space to discuss the ADHD, but if you read this years from now, just know it's a huge part of who you are, but it isn't all you. We'll figure this all out. Eventually.
So, aside from the ADHD, who is Jacob at 11?
Well, you love video games. If it's a Mario video game, even better. I think your current favorite is Super Paper Mario because you are always trying to get me to play it and my eyes begin to glaze over and I now know why Gammy did the same when I'd try to teach her to play Asteroids on the then new-fangled Atari. I just don't get it son. I do like to play Legos and will gladly do those with you, but you don't really want me too since you can whiz through each set and those you make in your own imagination, which speaking of, you love your Legos. You want the Star Wars Death Star when you turn 16 and if you were at all capable of holding onto money I think you'd save up for it. Money and gift cards just burn holes in your pocket.
You had a lead part in the school wide play in November. This made you happy and you did a fabulous job. You love acting and drama. You led the artistic production in the fifth grade musical. You love art too. The rest of school does not interest you much. If you'd actually do the work and then remember to turn it in, your grades would be MUCH better, but that's all I'm going to say about that.
Your favorite color is still blue, your favorite television show is Clone Wars, and you are currently reading books about King Arthur. You love Chinese food, the queso at our favorite Mexican place and Chuys jalapeno dip. You prefer cheese pizza but have started eating pepperoni without complaint. You like hot wings and macaroni and cheese and Gammy's gumbo the best, but if it's dinnertime and your meds have worn off, you'll eat anything I sit in front of you. You haven't eaten lunch at school all year, in fact you are still carrying the same lunch I packed you back in August, minus the sandwich I finally fed to Ez. You hate the medicine, but you hate how you act without it. I hate you have to deal with any of it, but like I said before, we're not going to talk about it today.
You love your Gammy more than anyone. I think you're her favorite too, but I will deny that if anyone ever asks. You love to spend time with her and especially love to go up to her house by yourself. I know she feeds you ice cream for dinner and lets you sleep on the floor by her bed even though she's not supposed to. My own Granny slipped me Baby Ruth candy bars and rubbed her Rose Milk lotion under my socks when she wasn't supposed to, so I guess it's her right. I just know it makes you happy so I ignore it.
Ezra almost died last year. You were very concerned and visibly upset, but when you realized how sad your parents were, you stepped up and helped out. He wouldn't come in at all that night and even though we told you not to, you went out every hour that night and checked on him. You brought that old brown banana with you each time to try to get him to eat. You sobbed in the crook of his neck and it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. When, at the vet, you heard how much it would cost to save him, you volunteered every cent you had (wasn't much since you aren't a saver) and said you'd quit the private school and wash people's cars to earn it. The vet cried. He promised us only six months more with that old dog but I know your daily prayers have kept him alive almost eleven.
Seems like yesterday. It truly does.
In 11 more years you'll be 22. Leaving college, living your life. I know that now will seem like yesterday then too.
I have loved you all these 11 years. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but I really do love you, Jacob. I hope between these next birthdays I will learn to know you and understand you and help you more.