Wednesday, October 31, 2018


 Some throwback Halloween for this Halloween Day.

I actually hate Halloween.  

I just don't even understand the concept of every other day of the year we don't take candy from anyone but today, go ahead and go to a stranger's house and ask for some.  

I liked seeing my kids in their costumes but I hate wasting so much money on them when we need to pay a mortgage and buy groceries.    Ditto with the candy.   I like children, really I do, I am a teacher for goodness sake, but candy is expensive and to have enough for our neighbors PLUS the rest of our 20,000+ town that trucks in because we have a gate and they think that equals rich and better candy, we eat leftovers and beans for a couple of weeks.  

I don't have a problem giving to teenagers if they are in a halfway decent costume (I don't want to see a fifteen year old girl's boobs, butt, and abs) but if you drive here in your convertible and get out with your five o'clock shadow in the clothes you wore to school, nope.   If you can buy gas money, you can buy candy.

The same goes for the parents with the still red baby that just exited the womb with no other children holding out a Target plastic bag and telling me trick-or-treat.   No way.   Come back next year.

They are calling for rain, like hail and wind and possible tornadoes this evening and our town FB page is LOSING.  THEIR.  MIND.   Some man just actually posted that he was taking his kids out even if it floods (which it now tends to do a lot now that our sewer system is clogged with Harvey waste) and we BETTER be out there handing out the GOOD CANDY or he was going to vandalize our homes.   I thought he was joking but I read through the comments, he seems pretty serious.  

Alrighty then.

Adam's football team is playing for the district championship tonight.    There were parents who actually wanted to forfeit because they didn't want their TEENAGERS to miss trick-or-treat.   WTH? This is actually a big middle school deal because we missed most of last season due to the hurricane and before that they were a losing team.   They are undefeated and first in the district.   Trick-or-treat  trumps that?  

People are freaking crazy.

Bring on Christmas.  

Wednesday, October 10, 2018


So we bought a time share last year.   

In Panama City Beach.    

Of course we did.  

It has been our family vacation spot for the past five years.   We LOVE it there.   

Praying and hoping for a good outcome after Hurricane Michael goes through today.

I mean, seriously?   Can we get away from this shit?   Harvey and now Michael?   

Please don't take away my happy place.   

Saturday, September 08, 2018

Counting Loud Sheep

I haven't slept in almost five years.

My husband snores.  

Yes, I have ear plugs.    Still hear it.   I run the industrial garage fan on high.    Doesn't come close.   I bought that adjustable Sleep Number bed the commercials show that stops it with the push of a button.    LOLOLOLOL.  

I spent some time a couple years ago taking Nyquil every night that would get me a few hours but then I would wake up with a bad sinus headache so then I would take aspirin every morning to cure that.   I had to stop that when I developed a stomach ulcer from it.  

He won't use the snoring strips and those didn't help much anyway.  

He had the sinus surgery.   That made it worse.  

He spent $500 for a sleep study just to confirm that, yes, he snores.  

He spent another $1500 for some sort of mouth device from the dentist guaranteed to rid him of snoring forever.   That was three months ago and we don't have a clue if or when he will ever see that thing.   Can you say scam???

I see on the news where women kill their husbands and my first thought:   He must have snored.

I want mad props that he is still alive and breathing.   Every night I think about putting that pillow over his face and just pressing it a little bit too hard.    Lack of sleep makes your mind kind of crazy.

I go to bed by 9:00 most nights.   I sleep until around midnight when he comes to bed and starts his nightly percussive symphony.   I move to the couch but I don't stay there long because I have been out there for so many months it is sagging in the middle and my back starts to hurt.   I move to the recliner but I can never really get comfortable there.   I used to climb into bed with Adam (poor kid is the only one with a full size mattress) but he's older now and it just seems weird.   I have been known to kick him out and send him to the couch.  NOT A LOT.   Lack of sleep makes you less empathetic.  

After all of my attempts at just a little bit of shut-eye fail, I end up watching cheesy cable movies,  Netflix and Amazon Prime, and lots and lots of Antenna TV.   Quantum Leap is on at 2 am central.   You know you miss that show.  

I thought if I quit my job then I could start sleeping during the day, you know, do the housework at night and sleep all day, be on the night shift so to speak.   It's harder than you think to sleep during the day, even if you are seriously sleep deprived.   It's not really working out for me so far.

In this time I have gained thirty pounds, developed a thyroid condition, and now suffer from high blood pressure.    I spent a night in the hospital last November because my blood pressure was so high the school nurse thought I might have a heart attack.    The doctor told me to get more rest.  

Are you kidding?   I wish I could!

About once every three weeks he will sleep on the couch and then WAKE ME UP IN THE MORNING to let me know he slept on the couch FOR ME.  Seriously?   Let me organize the parade because it isn't like I am not OUT THERE EVERY OTHER NIGHT!   I want it known that I have not assaulted him when he always says later the next day,  "I don't understand why you are so grumpy?  You got a whole night's sleep BECAUSE I SLEPT ON THE COUCH FOR YOU."

I love my husband.   He provides well for us and he does the math and science homework with the kids so I don't have to.   BUT.   I look forward to his business trips.   He was supposed to leave Sunday until Thursday and I have been just hanging on this week dreaming of four long nights of slumber next week until he came in tonight and said he wasn't going.   WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T GOING?????  

I am just so freaking tired.  

I have seen lots of good shows, though.  

Tuesday, September 04, 2018

We'll Agree to Disagree

We are into our third week of school today.  

The kids are all doing pretty well.   I was pretty worried about Elizabeth as this is her first year attending public school and also the beginning of middle school.    Last year she sat in three classrooms right next to each other all year and this year she has a locker, changes seven classes, and PE.

Yep.   PE.

Elizabeth likes everything about her new school EXCEPT PE.  

This summer she was really looking forward to it.   She'd learn volleyball!   They might do gymnastics!   It will be an easy A!

She HATES it now.   I tried to prepare her but she really had no way of knowing until she got there.

She goes to PE and then goes straight to lunch.   I get a text or a Facetime at the beginning of every lunch to let me know just how much she hated DRESSING FOR PE.  

I remember dressing for PE in middle school as well and hating it just as much as she did.  

WHY? in this day and age of #metoo and personal space is this still a thing?  

Yeah, yeah, I get that they are starting to stink and stuff but really?    WHY?

I am going to go even further and say WHY is PE a required class in middle school/high school?   I know many do not agree with me and I am not saying children should not be physically active, but as a parent of a child who gets plenty of exercise, is at an ideal body weight, and eats healthy foods WHY should she be required to strip down to her underwear in front of sixty other girls so she can do some jumping jacks and run some laps around the gym?  

She will have four more years of required PE class.   That is four credits she could be taking academically and actually learning something that might actually help her later on in life.   WHY do we not get that option?  

Last Thursday she was teary because a girl took her picture as she was undressed and told her she was posting it to Snapchat.   She told the "coach" and was made to run some more for tattling.  On Friday she moved around a row of lockers and was yelled at by the PE "teacher" that everyone dresses by the benches in front of everyone else.   WHY?    I am sure she isn't the only one getting this treatment and hating PE.  

I hated PE as a child for this very reason.    I was involved in basketball and track and enjoyed it UNTIL I got to middle school PE.   The dressing and the shaming and the just un-fun of it made me hate any type of physical activity to this day.    I hate it again because it is doing the same thing to my daughter.  

PE needs to be fun not hurtful.   If a kid doesn't want to do it, don't make them do it.  Let them wear their own clothes if they want.   Shit, they go outside at lunch and goof around and get just as sweaty and stinky.  

I am usually that parent who follows the rules and explains to their children why we these rules are in place but I am not really understanding the importance of this particular rule and I am wondering how many people I piss off this year trying to get it.   If my child is disrespecting you or hurting others in any way you can bet I will be all over that and I will support you wholeheartedly but if she wants to have a little modesty as she strips naked, I have to side with her and question your motives.

I am the nicest person you have ever met until you screw with my child.  

Middle School.   It's a wonder we all get through it with our sanity.   Or do we?

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Back to School

First Day of School 2018
Elizabeth - 6th grade
Adam - 8th grade

Seriously.   I have no idea where the time went.  

My children went back to school.   I did not.

I went back to work in 2010 when Adam was starting kindergarten and Elizabeth came to preschool with me.  Before that I stayed home and took care of them all day.   Now that I am home again it feels like time shouldn't have gone on and they should be five and three again.   I can't explain it.   Like life paused while I was working but, of course, we know it didn't.  

I really loved teaching preschool.   It was the one place I felt instant gratification that I was good at something.   Here at home everything is Momma's fault.   You can't find your shoes?  Momma put them somewhere.   You didn't do your homework?   Momma didn't give you enough time.   Your life is the absolute worst ever?   Momma.   Always Momma.    I don't always feel like a good mom but I always knew I was a great teacher.   For that, I really miss it.  


I don't really miss it.  

I have so much more time now.    Our mornings are so much less stressful than they have been the past eight years since I am not on a deadline to get out the door.   I cook a meal every evening and doing  homework doesn't make me want to shoot my eye out.   My house is clean.   I enjoy my children more because I am not doing lesson plans and organizing crafts or just bone tired from spending the day with someone else's children.  

My hope is that I can be the mom my children need right NOW in their lives.   I feel like I haven't been there like I should have these past few years.   Time to focus on my own kids for a change.  

Wish us luck.  

Monday, August 27, 2018

Hurricane Harvey

August 27, 2017
Hurricane Harvey
54 inches of rain in 3 days

So it's been one year since Hurricane Harvey.   We were VERY lucky to only get water in our garage (lost all of my preschool stuff, books I had already read, and most of our shoes).     There are 180 homes in our neighborhood and we were one house out of only five that did not flood inside the home.    Many of our neighbors are still rebuilding and some evacuated out and never came back.   We went through some uncomfortable weeks where people were very ugly to us because they were dealing with such catastrophe while we could sleep in our own beds and cook meals in our kitchen.      My parents built a weekend house a few miles away so the kids and I stayed there for some time.    It seemed safer.   We mucked out houses, provided meals,  washed laundry, and gave rides all over until new cars were purchased.   We were tired but thankful we had a clean and dry home to sleep.

This picture was taken around 2 pm Sunday.   The rain stopped around 9 am Wednesday.   Our good neighbors a few houses the other way were dry until 4 am that morning.   If it had just stopped raining sooner.    Our garage took water around 5 and came RIGHT TO THE FRONT DOOR at 9.   If it had rained another 15 minutes?  

I used to love to sleep during a good storm.

No one here can even watch rain anymore.   Everyone has PTSD.  

We were lucky though.  

No more hurricanes please.

Last First Day

The last time I posted a picture I had a digital camera that I had to plug into the computer to upload.   That camera broke at least three years ago and I have never gotten a new one.   My phone takes my pictures now and I still can't figure out the dang cloud and how and why and when my pictures will make it to my files.   

I can't find the pictures of Elizabeth and Adam.  

I did find this picture of Jacob.   
17 and almost a half years old
First day of 12th grade

Yep.   Senior year.  
I am not understanding the shirt and it aggravates me that he will NOT cut his hair.  

Do not ask me what his future plans are because if there are some he isn't sharing.   He has rebuked all of our attempts to nudge him towards college, the military, a job.   He wants to take "a gap year" but his idea of a gap year is sitting in the recliner watching The Office and not showering.  

Why yes.   I drink.

I have no idea what this next year is going to bring for him (or us).    

Parenting is not for the weak.  

I will keep looking for the other pictures.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Is Anybody Out There?

So now are you singing Pink Floyd?

Well?   Is anybody out there anymore?  

I sure miss blogging.   When I started Jacob wasn't even in preschool yet.     He will graduate in nine months.   From high school.   Really!

Adam is in 8th grade and Elizabeth will be starting middle school (6th) next week.   It doesn't seem possible but then at the same time it does seem possible.   What is that they say?   The days are so long but the years are short?   Something like that.

I taught preschool the past eight years and loved it (mostly).   I quit in May and will be a stay at home mom again until next school year when I hope to go back.   Hopefully this newfound free time will help me be able to blog more.  

Raising three kids to adulthood is a hard thing to do.   Who knew?   Maybe I can work through some of our issues here, maybe someone is going through the same things and could use some support?   Isn't that why we all started blogging in the first place?  

Let me know if you are out there?