Friday, August 31, 2007

So It Begins....

Have you seen the Bumbo?

The Bumbo allowed me to unload groceries and cook quick meals with my arms completely free.

Until yesterday.

Elizabeth figured out how to pull her foot up and shoot herself out. I was sure she had suffered catastrophic injuries. In that split second I imagined the worst.

I picked her up and she was laughing.

So much for my dainty princess.

I guess you learn quickly when you have two rowdy brothers.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I Already Need a Vacation

Jacob has been in school over a week now. Every afternoon he gets in the car and says, "It's four o'clock! I was at that school ALL DAY" I snicker at him because he's so funny about it, but he's right, he's there ALL DAY! This, though, is his only complaint about school.

I have a few complaints though.

1. Jacob came home two days ago with the pink portion of a triplicate form about dress code violations. He received a demerit for not wearing a belt. If he receives five demerits he could be kicked out of school. Three and we are having a heavy meeting with the big guns. The form stated in his teacher's fancy handwriting, that if he did not wear a belt the following day he would have detention after school for an hour. All school detention where he would sit with the high school kids as well. What will they do if he actually misbehaves you ask? Well...

2. The teacher's discipline plan is to move a child's paper bear on a popscicle stick to another can if he/she misbehaves. Anyone who has a bear in a white can at recess must run two laps around the football field. WTF? Although this might work for Jacob as there is no way in hell he will want to exert himself at all.

3. I am sick of the constant plea for donations. I pay plenty in tuition each month to cover all my child's needs. My child does not need a concession stand at the football field. I refuse to fund that and you can't guilt me into changing my mind.

4. A paper came home asking parents to sign up to teach an art project once a month. Isn't that what the teacher is getting paid for? I agreed to do one, but was told I would not be allowed unless I left the little ones at home. I won't be doing art this year.

5. We were required to attend an orientation last night at 7 p.m. The same orientation we got last year. The meeting where the headmaster lets you know that television watching is not allowed, you can only listen to Christian music, you should be feeding your children healthy meals, and the kids should be in bed by 7:30 each night to get enough sleep to have a good Christian school day. We were at that meeting until 10 p.m. With our kids. Thank goodness I had that Ipod.

6. After the late night orientation, I asked Jacob's teacher how he was behaving in class. She paused then said that he was very "enthusiastic". She didn't seem to like that he always has his hand raised to answer questions, even if he may not know the answer. Now, what's wrong with that? I kind of want my kid to have the confidence and self-esteem to speak up and take part. So what if he doesn't know it all, isn't that the point of school?

Yes, yes, I know. It's private school. They have to right to institute any and all rules they desire, but seriously. It wasn't this rigid last year. I liked it so much better last year. My child is six, not sixteen. School should be at least some fun. I have thought about removing him and placing him into our neighborhood school, but he would be heartbroken. He likes this school. His friends are there. He doesn't know that school could be that much more fun.

Only 172 more days to go.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Elizabeth at Four Months

Didn't I just write about Elizabeth at three months?

One year ago this week I discovered I was pregnant for a third time. That news kept us from moving across the country as I had been wanting so desperately. I eventually got used to the idea of number three, but I was bummed about losing our new opportunity.

One year later I have a daughter. I never thought I'd have a daughter. Sometimes I tear up just looking at her, knowing how blessed I am to have her in my life.

I might have missed out on a wonderful opportunity, but I was given an even better one, I just didn't realize it until a year later.

Friday, August 24, 2007


I don't have many coherent thoughts this week. Waking up at 6 a.m. will do that to a person. Remind me again why I wanted Jacob to go to private school. Private school with no bus service. Private school I have to drive to twice a day and encounter the most messed up drop off/pick up ever. I made it through last year without an accident, but I doubt I get as lucky this year. Those Hummer driving people are nuts, that's just all there is to it. Four days into it and I've already been cut off, pushed off, and flipped off all in the baptist church parking lot. It's going to be a long year.

Speaking of school......I'm not getting a good vibe from it. His teacher is just...just....what's a good word for lacking personality? Or inability to smile? Slave driver comes to mind because, geez louise, those kids do nothing but pencil work all. day. long. Can you believe she is teaching them, six year olds, cursive writing? Oh, and she's a stickler (is that really a word?) for perfect penmanship. Seriously now, do you write as perfectly as you were taught way back when? No, I thought not. My philosophy is if I can read it, it's good. That ain't her philosophy, let me tell you. I just think first grade should have some fun. They don't do crafts, they don't play games, they don't draw or look at books, they don't have circle time or show and tell. Shoot, she didn't even have the kids introduce themselves on the first day so Jacob only knows the four other kids from his kindergarten class. How are his social skills going to improve if he isn't allowed any social time? Don't even get me started on the entire chapter of the bible he has five days to memorize and how we've been told to get rid of all the televisions in the house because t.v is evil. Like that would ever happen. Grrr.....but, dern, he'll be able to multiply by Thanksgiving and forge my signature by Christmas. Moving on.....

My girl has an ear infection. She's had a cold for almost three weeks now thanks to her brothers constant need to poke their fingers into her mouth, that or someone always gets sick when we're near my sister's family since they harbor germs apparently. Seriously, every. single. time. we're with them someone gets sick. anyway, on top of the nasty nightly dose of prevacid she now gets a big squirt of the pink stuff as well. Ever tried giving a baby antibiotics? Me neither until yesterday. We have been really lucky, so far, to rarely have to see the doctor except for well-baby visits. Knock on wood, my boys aren't sick. Ear infections aren't part of our family. Adam had one, once, and Jacob has never had one. I was informed yesterday that since Elizabeth has had one so early she will most likely be plagued with them over and over throughout her childhood. Great. Don't believe the hype about bre*stfed babies having fewer ear infections. My formula fed kid is the one who has never had one. Go figure.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Where Did The Summer Go?

How is it time for school to start already?

I cannot believe my baby is a big first grader! Can we rewind five or six years so I can enjoy those days instead of wishing them away like I did the first time? Why was I so anxious for him to learn things? I miss Gymboree. I want to go back to Gymboree. That was fun........

Oh, so little.

I've been told that all you ever really need to know you learn in kindergarten, so why don't I just go pick up my boy now and we'll go back to enjoying jammies until 10, a little Noggin, and maybe I'll make him a pot of gumbo since he loves it so much.

No, that would never work.

He is excited to be in school, although I think he will freak a little when he realizes he isn't going home at noon. He sits right in front of his bestest school buddy, so I am relieved he doesn't have to muddle through the day alone. He has oreos in his lunch so it should be a good day for him.

Mama, though, is lost without her resident pappy retriever, laundry toter, Adam entertainer, and Elizabeth giggle-inducer.

Mostly, I just miss having him around all day.

They were hard sometimes, but those preschool years sure were fun while they lasted.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Cuter Than I Ever Imagined

What do you think of that dress?

I bought that dress four years ago. It was a gift for my brand new niece, Abigail. I loved it. I loved it so much that I couldn't part with it. It was silly to keep a dress when, at the time, I had a two year old boy, but I knew my sister could never love that dress the way I did so I hung it in Jacob's closet under the justification that number two, our last baby, might be a girl and I would need it then. A year and a half later we found out number two would not, in fact, be a girl so I pulled the dress from the closet and replaced it with little blue numbers. I tried twice to ship that dress on to others who had birthed baby girls, but I couldn't do it. No one could love the dress as much as I did, so I wrapped it in blue tissue paper and stored it in the depths of our cedar chest hoping that one day I would present it to my granddaughter, if it lasted that long.

Yesterday, I remembered the dress.

I may be a boymom at heart, but I am so glad I finally have someone to wear the dress.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Because I Thought It Would Be Fun.....

I got a wild hair the other morning and loaded the kids into the car and set out to good old Crap E. Cheese for some good old air-conditioned kiddie fun.

When I take the kids to the mouse house, I go as soon as the doors open at 9 a.m. Over time I have learned that by going then we avoid all other germy children, there is always a place to sit, and there are 10-20 tickets hanging from each ride and game after being turned on for the day. Not that day. Everyone in Houston apparently discovered my Cheese secret as it was as crowded at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday as it ever is at 12 p.m. on a Saturday. I was fuming. Early morning was MY time, but against my better judgement, we went on in because, really, who wants to take two bug-eyed, game-loving boys up to the door of goodness only to deny them at the last minute. No, definitely not me. So we go in and the boys immediately run away from me, token cups in hot little hands, and I proceed to wander around the tight spaces smacking teenagers in the ankles with my baby in the stroller trying desperately to locate my lost boys. Well, they weren't really lost, what with those big invisible stickers on their arms preventing their escape, but still, a mama likes to know where her kids are, am I right? Jacob found a new friend who happened to belong to the only other stroller toting woman in the place and I immediately track her down and proceed to follow her around because, hey, I'm lonely and thriving some adult conversation. She was a nice lady and I instantly decide we can be friends because a. she has lots of kids ( more than me even ), b. she has a stroller that I would kill for, and c. because of a and b, we must have loads in common and did I mention she was an adult?

So, the boys are having a ball playing video games and gambling for tickets when their sister awakes from her car-induced slumber with "the signal" that is sticking out her tongue and foaming like a rabid dog, which means "Mommy, I am really wanting to eat now" Now, I knew she would want to eat while we were there, but I totally thought we would be there alone so no big deal. I did not anticipate the throngs of arcade junkies so early in the morning, so I tried the pappy, tried smiling and saying "You're okay" because, yeah, that makes it okay, and even feigned ignorance, like, oh, are you crying? Nothing worked. I mentioned to my new BFF that my daughter was giving me "the look" and that I really didn't want to nurse there and secretly I was hoping she would say, "Why, I'll look after your sweet boys while you feed your baby in the car", but, well, we had only just met and I guess it would be wrong of me to trust the children I have known for years with a woman I have only known for twenty minutes, also, it was freaking hot outside! We're in the middle of a heat wave, remember? My nice new friend did say that she nurses there all the time and it was no big deal so I knew I would have to whip out the b**bs in that germ-laden paradise. I tracked down Adam, bought him the biggest ice cream sandwich known to mankind so to lure him with me, found the farthest booth, positioned myself facing the wall, and fed my baby. Being back in the corner as we were, there was no way in the world anyone other than a two foot nosy person would be able to know what was going on. Naturally, a two foot little someone trotted right on over and planted himself directly under my arm pit. I like to think it was the massive ice cream that drew him to us, so far away, but his mama had a different take on it. His mama and her three flouncy skirt wearing, espedrille sporting friends then parked themselves ten feet behind me and loudly discussed how "that woman" was "exposing herself" to her son. "Can you believe that?" one said and the other said, "In a restaurant of all places" and another said "Take your private business elsewhere, puhlease" Of course, none of them had the balls to come up and say any of it to my face and I was just too stunned and afraid of causing a scene to turn around and inform them that I have the right to feed my baby wherever I choose and to move away if they didn't like it. I just continued feeding my sweet baby while red skirted lady's son still hung out at our table with no attempts by her to retract him. I guess she was too scared of what she would see, so scarring her son for life was the only option. That was the first, and last, time I have nursed in public. Why are some mothers like that? Thank goodness I found cool stroller friend though. If only I had thought to get her name and phone number before they left. And I wonder why I have no friends.

And really, who considers Ch*ck E. Ch**se a restaurant?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


If you want to feed your children Kid Cuisine as a quick fix meal so you can sit down and feed your baby in peace, be sure to buy the ones without the chocolate pudding, unless, of course, you're looking for a new paint job in your kitchen.

I'm just saying.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Saturday, August 11, 2007

So Neglected.....

I guess I need to quit checking my blogs and feed my children.

I also need to keep the pumpkin bread and other goodies off the kitchen counter.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Next Food Network Star

Okay, it's taken me forever, but I finally did watch the finale of The Next Food Network Star. I found to be kind of slow and boring and I could have done without all the talking, but I guess they had to fill that hour somehow. Here's my opinions on the whole show:

*Columbe......what was up with her? She seemed way to spaced out to even read a cook book, much less host her own show. I decided I really didn't like her after she purposly left Paul's bags at the supermarket. What a bitch.

*Jag annoyed me from the first episode. I have no idea why the judges liked him so much. He totally butchered that Iron Chef challenge, crap, he almost burned the place down, and they sent Paul home. I think they would have chosen him if he hadn't been caught in that lie which brings me to...

*Jag? WTF! You didn't think someone would come out of the woodwork after seeing you on television to turn you in? Jeez! Of course, I danced a little jig when I watched it all because I would so NOT watch his show. What do you bet, though, those producers find him a show anyway? They seemed to really like him no matter what he did.

* I liked Paul. and Tommy. Towards the end I started to like Amy more and I am glad she won over Rory. Rory was okay, but I don't think I would be interested in cooking the things she would likely have had on her show. I did feel truly sorry for her, though, when the cameras kept trying to pan off of her as she was sobbing in the background. I hope her restaurant does well as a consolation prize.

* The show filled my Bobby Flay fix, but they could have used a lot more Alton Brown. Alton Brown is the Food Network God. I love him.

OK...what are your thoughts?

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Did you miss me?

I made a last minute decision to take the kids to the lake on Sunday by myself. The next time I start to think that's a good idea, please slap me.

Oh, it wasn't too bad, just a three hour drive turned into a five hour drive and my girl decided it was the perfect time to exercise her lungs, but we survived.....barely. It was nice, though, because it didn't rain the entire time. It was hot as hell, but it was dry. The kids loved swimming in the pool in the evenings and Elizabeth found her feet so all was well.

Bear with me as I try to catch up with everything this weekend.


Saturday, August 04, 2007

Spotty Dog

Oh, Spotty I love you Spotty Dog.

I found Spotty Dog outfit before Jacob was born, just hanging there ready to be purchased. I don't know what it was, exactly, that I loved about it, the blue stripes maybe? The fuzzy puppy dog? Might have been the cute little paw prints right on the rump, but either way, I loved it. My love was crushed, though, when the only one left was the wrong size AND had a big tear around the dog. I was thrilled months later when my mother's neighbor at that time presented me with Spotty Dog all wrapped in blue paper and ribbons AND it was the right size. Spotty Dog was a constant fixture in the boy's drawers their first three months. Jacob had his first portraits taken in it:

Adam also wore it quite a bit.....

Before Elizabeth was born I fetched it, washed it, and folded it lovingly in the chiffarobe ready for our new baby's arrival. I even thought of it not long after she was born and was just a tad sad that Spotty Dog would sit lonely, unworn, with no baby boy to wear it.

But then I thought, why can't my daughter wear it?

So I dressed my daughter in Spotty Dog and enjoyed it all day.

I have never had so much fun as when confusing the church ladies we ran into at the supermarket who now don't know whether we have a boy or a girl and were too afraid to ask....

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

They're Here......

Any idea why my kid does this?

Adam must touch the tube all creepy-Poltergeisty like each and every time the credits roll after a show, mostly his Noggin shows, but he'll do it for Paula Deen and Monty Hall too. He doesn't even have to have watched the show, when the credits roll he comes running and stands there like that until they are over. It's starting to get a little unnerving.

Think I should keep some rope handy?