Monday, April 09, 2012


Is where we are....

We think Jacob will be attending middle school in our regular school district next year.

We made our choice and were okay with it and now we've started to have some nagging doubts. One day it seems like a great idea and the next day we're sure he'll be killed by fourth period. I had tiny babies. Babies I could dress up and plop in the stroller and waltz around the mall fully made up and gorgeous. I should have known when that didn't work out that the next eleven years wouldn't fare as well.


I know you're all like WTH? Put him the dang free school and forget about it already! And I should, I freely admit, but, man, it's harder than it seems. My kid has problems. HUGE problems. It goes much further than oh, he's got ADHD and some kids tease him sometimes. This kid of mine? He doesn't have friends. Not one. Oh, he'll try to make some but they don't stick around more than a few minutes because they figure out quickly, this kid is weird. He talks to himself. He makes up songs and sings to himself. He believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny and nothing you can say will make him think otherwise. His hair is dirty and his body stinks and his teeth haven't been brushed in at least three months. He writes stories all day long about whatever show, story, Lego, or video game he is into at that moment. He refuses to do his school work. He can't play sports and spends every gym day the target of the others who can. He plays dodge ball when they aren't even playing dodge ball. Shoot, even the coach encourages it. At the CHRISTIAN school that everyone tells me he should stay at because, OMG is it going to get worse where the teachers can't pull the Jesus card all day, because if the Jesus kids are bullying teasing him, wth will the bad kids do?

And what about all those hallways and the eight different teachers and the lockers and the four. flipping. minutes to get to class? I mean, he can't even get his books out of the desk he's sitting in four minutes.

I talked to the special education teacher and principal about a 504 plan and possible special ed services and was pretty much told to shut up already. Even if he shows "symptoms" they wouldn't test him until second semester which means he might get some help by mid seventh grade. Apparently "the middle schools" want to test kids OUT of special ed at this point so everybody can go to high school without a label. I taught special ed. In elementary school. I worked my ass off getting all those needy kids services and then GIVING them services. It was hard. I see now I should've taken a middle school position.

Jacob's teachers (he has two now since he qualifies for the private school equivalent of special ed) stop me at least twice a week to implore to my sense of compassion to please reconsider "throwing him to the wolves". As a teacher can't I see he's not ready for this? Just one more year in a smaller setting learning only four teachers and two hallways and ten whole minutes to maneuver the locker? With a cherry on top? My Gawd Woman! The humanity!


I paid his re-enrollment fee in February. I forgot they'd send a letter stating they'd received it. My husband opened it. He was pissed at me for a while. He wouldn't entertain the thought of repeating this conversation.

Until Friday.

Seems he's a little concerned now too, BUT, uh, well, 2 kids + $509/month + 1 kid +$265/month = 1 arm and 1 leg and many beans for dinner.

I am praying like they tell me to do, but so far, just more confusion. And the need for a nighly Unisom just to get some sleep.

I'm still waiting for his to get easier. Anyone know when that will be?


Sadie said...

You know I am no education expert or parenting expert (or even a parent). So I trust you will take what I say and give it the very little weight it deserves.

But I kinda agree with your boss. I went to several different schools along the way (seven, from 1st grade to 7th), some public, some private. And though there were certainly kids at public schools that were mean, there was also a wider variety of kids. A much more diverse group, and more likely to be kids who don't feel like they HAVE to fit this particular rich Jesus kid mold. Maybe? At one school where I was struggling with mean popular kids, there was a group of poor, minority, very sweet girls that took me under their wing and protected me.

And dude, rich kids ARE mean.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I don't know. The private school hasn't been so great for him as of yet. I mean, no friends, bullying, teachers that aren't super sweet to him... A fresh start sounds so... fresh. I know that I can only understand a fraction of the anxiety you must be feeling, but know that I do understand the fear behind having a kid that is different...

I keep hoping that Jacob finds his way, Andria. He's got such a beautiful smile and sounds like he is a really awesome kid.

Mommy Daisy said...

I think a fresh start might be good for him. Maybe getting some new perspective from new teachers will be just what he needs. It's worth a shot. If it doesn't work? Then maybe you can go back to old school again.

Best of luck with whatever you do. I know this is heart-wrenching for you. Every decision is tough when it comes to kids. But you're a great mom & everything will be OK!

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