Saturday, January 07, 2017

Happy New Year

So I found this "Positive Energy" tea on a clearance shelf at the supermarket last week.  

It tastes good but I cannot keep my eyes open after drinking it and I don't think it has improved my positivity.  

Of course it's only been three days but, eh.

I have gotten too old to do the resolution thing.   I know I will keep up with it a few days or maybe even weeks, but, really, I am who I am.    Fat, grouchy, and sleepy.    There.

I would like to rev this space up again.   I miss it.   I guess now that I have some tangible friends I don't need it as much, but still, I miss it.   Maybe I can get back in to a weekly groove.   LOLOLOL......I guess that could be considered some "positivity".  

Anyway.

I am still teaching preschool.    The curiosity got the best of me.   I wanted to see how this "new" way would turn out and mostly I just wanted to stay with my friends.    There is something to said about loving your co-workers.   They truly are like a family to me and I just wasn't ready to give that up.  

It's weird now.  

We went from six to sometimes seven teachers with aides to twelve teachers with aides.   Let's just say it's easier for 12-14 women to mesh well than 24.    I feel like I went back to high school some days and thats not just because some of these people just graduated from it.   I am consistently surprised we are in a church because, it no longer seems like a church.   Shouldn't "being kind to others" be a church thing?   Yeah.   I thought so.

The new building is fantastic as new buildings will be, there is that.  

I am at that point again where I need to decide about next year.   Should I stay or should I go now?   *sing it.  you know you want to*

I am feeling the urge to move on.   Keep Elizabeth home for fifth grade.   *GASP.   FIFTH GRADE*.   In my mind this looks all wine and roses.   We will awaken when we are ready with smiles on our faces.   I will make huge breakfasts and we will smile about that too.   We will cheerfully open our school books each day (which I keep organized and out of the way) and my daughter will hang on my every word clamoring for more.   She will thank me profusely after each lesson that she understands instantaneously, and then we will have a healthy lunch and spend the rest of our afternoon enjoying each other's company getting pedicures or taking meaningful walks.   Reality?  I wish future seeing was my super power.   Then I wonder.   Where else will I find another three day a week job with people I love?  If I leave and come back I would then be considered a "new employee" and have to do 36 more training hours on top of the 24 we have to do each year.   I am still five behind this year and I only have do the 24.   That would be, well, pretty damn awful.   I seriously should have a doctorate by now with all the freaking training I have done since 2010.

I love preschool.   I really do.   I love preschool.   I love preschool.

Parents don't love preschool teachers though.   Nothing has changed there.

One of the parents told my assistant when dropping her child off late, again, that she was not buying teachers a Christmas gift because she didn't get a Christmas gift for doing her job and maybe she'd pull some cookies off a plate someone else had given her, put them in a baggie and be done with it.   The sad thing about this exchange was that she was referring to her older kid's teachers.   She thought she was being all funny and cute and didn't even think about US being her preschooler's TEACHERS.   It would have been hysterical if it hadn't been so sad.  

I did not get two degrees in education for the gifts ya'll, but let me just tell you something from the other side:   If you appreciate your child's teacher, say so.   How hard would it have been for this woman to pick up a card from Dollar Tree and scratch Thank You on it?   Apparently very, but I digress.    Your child's teacher is spending her own money on the hot chocolate for the winter unit, the play dough for forming letters, the Christmas/Valentine/Mother's Day/Father's Day gift you received from your child.........fill in the dots, there is so much more.  She comes in on her own time to change the bulletin boards (after spending her own money buying the cute things for the bulletin boards).   She answers your (usually unnecessary, for Christ's sake read the newsletter) emails while her children need help with their homework.    It's a thankless job.   Literally.   If your four year old has a brand new pair of shoes every week and you are driving a car that cost more than her first house but you can't sign a Christmas card, it really does show that you don't care at all about her or think she is doing a good job with your child.   When your teacher feels this, it makes them wonder if they should stay in that job.   Your teacher might even quit because she feels she isn't making a difference.   If your teacher is making a difference to your child, tell them somehow.    Positive feedback is helpful because the paycheck is not.

Part of "new preschool" was that it was to be part of the "elementary school".   In the elementary/middle/high school they have a whole club (very exclusive and snotty, just what you would expect from "christian" school) where they bring food in for the teachers each month, buy them all gifts for their birthdays, leave treats in the teacher lounge.   The ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL teachers love it.   Some of my student's parents take part in this.   Do you think they do anything like that for preschool?   Of course not.   I think the message is pretty clear.  

I don't work any less during the time I am at that school than any of those teachers.   In fact, I think I *might* even work a bit more.  Let's see.   They get a planning period.   I do not.   They have time to sit at their desk and send email while their kids do seat work.   I do not.   They have a chair.    I do not.   Go ahead and enjoy your cocktail weenies.   My assistant will help me up off the floor.

Positive energy tea my ass.  

For the record, I kept the beautiful plate her husband forgot with the aforementioned cookies she sent to the party.   She has not asked for it back.   Yet.  






Friday, September 16, 2016

Part 2

Try as I might, I cannot get the lids off the Oil Pulling and Coconut Oil any longer.    I think I might have liked them, but my right hand is so freaking messed up now I could hardly push the vacuum today and couldn't hold the brush to fix my daughter's hair.   I am taking ibuprofen three times a day for the pain which isn't going to help my stomach ulcer, but whatever.    These might be the best coconut oils ever made but I wouldn't know, I can't access them and I refuse to hurt myself any longer to try.

So I have used the Facial Oil, the Body Butter, and, once, the Sugar Scrub.    I leave the lids just sitting on the top of those so I can get to them again ;).   Anyway,  I do really like the Facial Oil and the Body Butter.    They are oils so, obviously, they are oily which is not what I usually go with, but I like the smell and they make my skin soft.    The Sugar Scrub smells really, really good.    One of the suggested uses for it was as an additive to coffee or tea which is what I did,  it was good.   Would I do it again?   Probably not as it was way out of my comfort zone to put something that should be a body scrub into my drink, but it wasn't bad.     If I can keep the lid off it I may try it in the shower.   We'll see.  




Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Going Coconuts....Part 1

I was approached by skinnyandcompany.com about reviewing some of their all natural coconut oil products.


I received the facial oil, body butter, coconut oil, oil pulling, and sugar scrub.  

They all looked like this thirty minutes after I opened the box.   They don't look like this on the website so I don't know what happened, but what the heck?

I was very excited to try the body butter as I enjoy lotions and creams, but it was a liquid so I was a bit disappointed.  I don't know if it was supposed to be that way as the picture on the website it appears solid, but whatever.

I used the facial oil first.   It is infused with lavender essential oil and has a very nice smell, but I had to wash it off my face because I was so greasy.   It left my skin soft though.

This morning I wanted to try the oil pulling and when I picked the jar up I noticed it had a few solid droplets in it.   I checked the other jars and the facial oil was about half solid and the body butter was solid on top but liquid on the bottom.   I am not an expert on coconut oil or any other types of oil, but I found this a bit odd, but I can roll with it.

The little jars are so damn cute.  


See?

But MY GOLLY they are hard to open.   I tried to use one of those rubber opener helper thingies and it tore in half.   I was committed to trying the dang oil pulling though and eventually succeeded and in the process spilled a good bit on my granite counter.   Those jars have a big mouth, just saying.   I know they are trying to be all environmentally friendly but the neat freak in me would love to see some kind of easier, cleaner container, like I am thinking of putting this in an old ketchup bottle.   

Anyway.......I can't tell that my mouth is that much cleaner after the oil pulling but it made me feel healthy and crunchy and tasted a heck of a lot better than the solid stuff I bought in the grocery store last year when I attempted that once before.   I am going to continue with it and let you know.   

After my shower this morning I was happy to try the body butter now that it had semi-set up.    That was when I realized only the top was solid.   I got another big blob of oil on my granite again when I hit the liquid, but the solid smelled nice and I smeared it on my legs as an after-shave balm.    It wasn't what I was expecting, it was quite oily, but maybe tomorrow it will set up some more and I can get more of a lotion feel from it.   Stay tuned.   








Friday, May 20, 2016

Thank your Teachers

I just got my last paycheck.

For three days I was paid $198.75.    Not too bad huh?   The government took $150 in federal taxes along with $2.86 for Medicare (that I will probably never be able to use) and $12.32 for Social Security (ditto).

Grand total for my last week of work where I worked all day PLUS one whole evening due to the graduation:

$33.55

That's about 85% straight to the government.

WTF?

And they tell me we get a tax break because we work for a church.

The hell.

And I got four end-of-school gifts out of fourteen students.  

I don't teach to get gifts, I actually really, really love it and I am really, really good at it.   My boss even told me I was the best one there, so there's your proof.   But.   How hard would it be to write a sentence telling me thank you on an index card as you're walking out the door?   Teachers do need that because their paycheck isn't giving them the warm fuzzies.

PLEASE remember your teachers on the last day of school.    I know we just had Mother's Day and Teacher Appreciation and Father's Day is coming up and you want to go on vacation this summer, but PLEASE if you had a good teacher let them know you thought so somehow so they stay there.

I am doing one of two things next year:

Quitting

Or

Posting this paycheck stub at the entrance of my classroom just so they see what teachers sacrifice to educate their children.


Saturday, May 07, 2016

It's My Blog and I'll Cry if I Want to.......

Ugh.

I swear I must be going through menopause.    If so, at least give me the joy of never buying tampons again.   I guess I just get the crappy part.

I am pissed off this week.   No one knows it because I wouldn't be a good mother, teacher, wife, friend if I let that out, so that's why I keep the blog I guess.

Let me first start by saying:   I LOVE MY JOB!   It deserves all caps.   I really, really do.   It's almost a volunteer position but I love my job.

Teacher Appreciation Week

Who the hell came up with this?

ONE day for Mothers Day and a whole freaking week for teachers?

You would think I would be all over this but NO, I am not.

I spent $164 bucks on Elizabeth's teacher and French teacher and Adam's three teachers PLUS his two band teachers (whole other story, but they totally deserved it).   Never mind that I did absolutely nothing for Jacob's seven high school teachers because by then I was just so hopelessly overwhelmed I could not even remember their names (I will hook them up at the end of the year).    I didn't do much more than a candy bar, a bag of chips, some school supplies and a very low amount gift card in a thank-you card.   $164.   The same week as Mother's Day.  

Dear, Whoever-Came-Up-With-This-And-Makes-The-Rules,  please separate these holidays.   Some of us don't have well paying jobs.   Thank you.

No.  You don't have to do anything for the teachers, but here's the list of what we are doing every day.   Please let your teacher know you appreciate her said the mass emails.   Of course you have to get something.   Who wants to be the only family appearing unappreciative?

My student's families.   I guess they have no problem appearing unappreciative.

You know how that makes a preschool teacher feel when the "real teachers" get a gift but you don't because, "it's just preschool"?   You feel like a babysitter.   I feel like my student's parents think of me as their babysitter and it really does make me feel unappreciated.

When is Babysitters Day?  

I do have to say a handful did bring a small token and the best were the notes, sweet ones from the kids but heartfelt ones from the moms just saying, hey, thanks.  That's all I needed.   Thanks for getting my child from knowing no letters to reading small words.   Thanks.   Thanks for cleaning my kid's puke off of him after I sent him to school with a 101 degree fever thinking it was just allergies.   (Yeah right) Thanks.   Thanks for not yelling at my kid when he wiped his nose on your pant leg.    Thanks for getting completely soaked in a flooding rainstorm to walk my child to the other side of the car when I locked the door and screamed at you to go around away from the dry overhang because, HEY, that's easiest FOR ME.   Thanks.

I get that they pay tuition and feel like they shouldn't have to pony up more money but what they do not realize is that I just spent almost fifty bucks on picture frames and printing of the graduation pictures so they could have a nice graduation gift.    My school did not pay for that.   That butter your kids had so much fun making, I spent $10 on the cream and $7 on the baby food so each child could have their own jar to take home to YOU to share.   That memory book you love so much?   I spent $137 on photo developing and $77 on scrapbooking supplies to make that happen.   That was an entire paycheck for me.   I got $30 to spend on classroom supplies at the beginning of the year.   I bought a lesson plan book and a bulletin board set.   Everything else that made the room pretty throughout the year came from my Discover card.  The birthday book each child gets, made by me.   At home, while my own children are doing their homework.   While I frequently ignore them because, I am making that damn birthday book.   I could list so much more, but I have lesson plans to finish and name sheets to scan, animal paper plates to go buy because wouldn't it be fun to have them for Animal week next week?

I really don't think Teacher Appreciation Week should be a thing.    No one should have to be told to show your teacher that they are appreciated.     People who are appreciative have already shown it.

Friday, January 22, 2016

How?

One of our preschool students died this week.

She was in kindergarten now, but still, she was still one of our preschool students.

I wasn't her teacher but last year I subbed as an aide on Mondays in her class.    I spent a lot of time with her those days.   She liked to talk and tell stories and sit by the teacher and give hugs.    Exactly the things I like to be on the other end of.  

The funeral was today.  

That mother.   Oh my dear sweet Lord, that mother.  

I had a dream last Saturday that my Adam went on a camping trip and went canoeing, hit some wild water, fell out, hit his head and died.   I watched him die and then I was transported to a funeral home where someone was asking what I wanted to do about things like caskets and flowers.   In that dream, in my sleep, I felt like someone had reached in a ripped out my whole heart and, THANK YOU JESUS, I woke up in a cold sweat trying to catch my breath and crying.

I woke up.  

I woke up.  

But I felt it.   I know it wasn't real, but I felt it.   I hope to everything that is good and holy that I never ever feel it again.

That mother.   She will feel it forever and there is nothing I can do for her.   Nothing anyone can do for her to take that raw ache away.  

How do you go on after something like that?  

I hope I never have to figure that out.  







Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Happy New Year!

Can you believe it's been over TEN years since I started writing on this thing?

Gracious.

Teenagers and school and extra-curricular activities didn't even seem possible then.    How did this happen so fast?

I miss all my blogging friends, logging in every day to see what everyone was doing.    Watching their children grow.   I am glad to see most of them still on FB but it isn't quite the same.  I can't speak freely there as someone's sole job at our school is to monitor all of our social media.   I guess this counts as that, but I don't get much traffic anymore so I am doubting anyone there knows I am out here in the spider-web, dusty world that is my formerly beloved blog.

I say every year I am going to blog more but life gets in the way.   Up at 6, out the door by 7:30 (hopefully), five hours working non-stop, two more hours catching up on every other little thing before the children come home and the three hours of homework, making dinner, cleaning it all up and starting it all over again.   Whew.   I did not know how well I had it ten years ago.  

I love my job.   That has been established.   I have grown so much more frustrated with it lately.   Changes are coming there and I think I have decided not to follow them on their new journey.   It makes me very sad.   I have the opportunity to move up yet again with three of my students I have this year and had last year.    I want to do that.    Their parents want me to do that.   My boss wants me to do that.    That, though, will be five days a week due to the aforementioned changes.    I just do not think I can work five days a week and still have any amount of energy to give back to my own family.   Yeah, yeah, it's only half a day they say but if you've been a teacher, you know once you are there, you are pretty much there all day.   It would be the best job for me minus the pay and the time commitment.

Oh well.   I still have a couple months before I "decide".

Anyway,  since I can't complain on FB……

Am I being a huge southern prude by expecting a thank you note from my children's teachers for the Christmas gifts I purchased for them?

I buy fantastic gifts for my kid's teachers even the ones I do not really care for (stay tuned).    I have had to garage sale so many coffee mugs, coasters, and dried flower arrangements, not that I didn't enjoy them but, well, you can only have so many.  

*FYI……gift cards are good.*

So, I spent $30 on each of Adam's three teachers, Elizabeth's teacher, Elizabeth's French teacher, Elizabeth's art teacher, Adam's three band teachers, both kid's three gym teachers, and $10 Starbucks cards for each of the nurses.  Then there is Jacob…..$70 bucks for $10 gift cards for seven teachers.

I'll wait while you do the math.    *playing the Jeopardy theme*

$450

That is more than a month's pay for me.

I had a friend who makes custom jewelry do something suited to each person based on the likes sheet that was sent home to all of us at the beginning of the year (except for the gift card teachers)

Only Elizabeth's teacher sent me a thank you note.    Mailed it to me over break actually.   The nurses told me thank you, one of Adam's teachers stopped to say she thought her necklace was beautiful.   Jacob's Engineering teacher shot me an email full of gratitude as soon as he received it.  Elizabeth's art teacher had surgery during Christmas week so she gets a pass.  Crickets from the rest.    Every one of them has my email address.   They have each used it this year.  Shoot, each one of them sees at least one of my kids at least twice a week.

$450

I know I should give just to feel good about the giving and I did as I was buying them.   I hope they all enjoyed what I picked out for them but what happened to just being grateful?  

For the record, I hand wrote all 11 of the kids who gave me a gift a note last night while waiting in the cold car during football practice.    I just felt like it was the right thing to do.  

Man, it feels good to complain online again.   I should do this more often.