The Graduate

Before I can talk about this.....

*I might die from the preshusness*

I need to talk about this.....

WTH?

I was just pregnant with this child.   

How? Did? This? Happen?

I dreaded this moment all year long.  Working at the same school, I had to work graduation last year and very plainly remember watching those great. big. kids reciting their Bible verses and marching up the aisle in pursuit of that shiny trophy and thinking awww.......and then they lined up to sing some little ditty about going off to kindergarten and being oh, so ready, and I froze behind those metal risers where I was to stop escapees from plummeting to their death  parent's forever embarrassment.

OMG. OMG. OMG.  Elizabeth will be singing this song next year.  OMG. OMG. OMG.  

And then I sobbed.  At some other kid's graduation.  While holding onto some poor kid's khaki pants leg for his own good.  At least my tears kept him from jumping.  I think.  

I had a baby, dammit.  Not a kindergartener.  

I sobbed again on her first day of school.  And at the Christmas program.  When her class toured the kindergarten.  And for the last six weeks of school each and every time I would peek through our connecting door and see her there.  Right there twenty feet away from me.  Which she won't be next year.  *sigh*  

How blessed I have been to hear her laughter during play time.....hear her counting to 100 more loudly than everyone else.....cutting through my room to use our restroom when hers was occupied.........retrieve little drawings she'd secretly shoved under the door....sing and dance during chapel with her......receive surprise kisses when she'd sneak over during center time.   What will I do next year?   Ugh, I need to stop myself before I start sobbing again right here in my recliner during Dr. Oz.  

But I made it through the graduation.  My very last preschool graduation ever, well, at least for any child that was cut out of my abdomen.  I'll be back again next year holding onto some other kid's leg behind the risers, this year, I was able to sit in my saved seat up front and center and watch MY baby recite her verses, snag her trophy, and sing that heart-wrenching kindergarten tune, weeping and smiling the entire time.  

I survived it.  Barely.  And here are some pics.....

 I do not understand why my husband, who does not cry at such events, always insists I take the pictures.  I mean, through tears, this is what you get.....

 She was THRILLED to go on stage.....if they'd asked  her to stop and do a song and dance routine she would not have objected.....and seriously, even through the blur and red-eye she seems so old here.  Sunrise, sunset......*sob*

 I hate my camera.   The flash took FOREVER and I missed this precious moment.....if nothing else it is noted here that her teacher, my friend, seems to be laughing at my nervous breakdown.  They were taking bets how soon it'd be before I got teary.  UM....in the car on the way there.....

MOM....I HAVE A TROPHY!  STOP CRYING!

I love this child.  Remember how bummed out I was to find out I was pregnant ?  I can't either.  

Another milestone for my baby.....and I survived.  

Someone will need to come hold me in August though.