Dog Gone It

I miss my dog.  

Fourteen and a half years was not enough.  

The house is very slowly losing all the hair.  And the smell we used to hate but now seek on every little thing we find we had forgotten we had, like the dozen green stuffed frogs minus their eyes and squeakers shoved under some scrapbooking supplies in the garage because we were trying to get rid of that same smell we now miss.  

Someone has offered to give us her two year old chocolate Lab because she just doesn't have the time nor energy to devote to his time and energy now that all her children have left the nest.  The kids really want him, but I don't know.   I miss MY dog.  I want MY dog.  I don't want someone else's dog.  Just mine.  Right beside me.  Right now.  Stinking up my carpet and begging for my pizza crusts.   

Could I even love another dog?  Do I even want to love another dog?  They die you know.

I miss my dog.

8

Happy Birthday Adam!

How is it you are eight years old already?

At 8, you are finally, as of October, 48 inches tall.  Too late to ride the big rides at Splashtown, but just in time for Disney!  You weigh about 42 pounds....still a wee baby even if you aren't a baby anymore.   I have a hard time buying clothes for you because you need a 7 length and a 4 waist.   We kind of split the difference with a five and you just don't wear pants too often.  You don't like the  adjustable waists and complain incessantly about the straps in your way.  Although you have a drawer full of pants, you only really wear about three pair of them.   You walked in the other morning wearing a pair of shorts with small holes all over them.  You wore them all day and it wasn't until I picked up the dirty clothes at the end of the day did I notice they were a size 18 months.   You'd probably still be wearing them if I hadn't gotten rid of them.

Your favorite color is blue.   Your favorite food is still Gammy's spaghetti but absolutely no meatballs or meat of you won't touch it.  You tried Buffalo wings a couple months ago and order those every time we go out.  Hooters are your favorite, but you'll eat any of them.    You like pizza lunchables in your lunch box with Lays potato chips and a Sunny D, but now that we are eating better you haven't complained about your slices of ham, cheese, sliced apples, and water.  Of course the yogurt comes home most of the time.

Your favorite show is Lego Ninjago.  I swore to all that's holy that we would not start another Lego obsession, but here we are.    Most of your Christmas toys were Ninjagos and that is what you have asked for your birthday as well.  I know you are waiting patiently for the coveted Lloyd mini-figure that I just happened to find not knowing how rare it was.  Too bad you opened all of your Christmas gifts (and your brothers and your sisters) two weeks before Christmas or you would have it by now.  Maybe next year you'll leave them alone.

You are in second grade.  Mrs. Anders is your teacher.  You were very sad when you found out you wouldn't be spending the year with Mrs. Smith, but I think you have learned to tolerate love her.   She and I have a system where she'll hold up her fingers to let me know how many demerits you've received that day.  You did really well in December, no fingers, but since school has started back there've been three a few times.  She says you're a sweet boy, you just talk, talk, talk all the time.  I guess we should be pleased since you really didn't speak until you were three and a half and we are paying for speech therapy, but still.  We are also paying for your education.  Please zip it and listen some okay?

Soccer is still your favorite sport, but you relented and let me sign you up for the winter football season since it won't interfere with spring soccer.  You complained until you found out your two best friends are on your team (surprise!) and you've really enjoyed it.  You ran for a touchdown on the last game and your coach says you are the best defensive player he has because you are so fast.  I wish you'd try baseball again, but you hated that because there was too much standing around and waiting your turn.  Maybe basketball?

You and Jacob have a hard time getting a long.  You now enjoy the same things and you both like to take the others.  I can't sharpie initials onto Legos so we have a daily issue about it.  I wish you both would realize if you just pulled them together you'd have so much more to work with, but we aren't there yet.  If I hear "He stole my red ninja!" another time I may just box it all up and take it to Good Will.  Which would suck because ya'll can really do so much with them, but still.  There's just so much I can take.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, is still your best friend.  As expected many years ago, when a little boy walked up to tell me one morning that he was Elizabeth's boyfriend, you told him he absolutely was not and he better leave her alone.  She will never date, I'm afraid.  You are a wonderful protector.   You have watched Secret of the Wings at least thirty times since Christmas because she always wants it.  I suspect you like it also, but you'd never admit it.  Ditto for Sofia the First.  I see you taking it all in.  You are eight.  You can still like princesses and Dinosaur Train, and Max and Ruby.  I'll never tell.

So now you are 8.

To me you will always be:

I love you Tiny!

Death and Life

My mother-in-law died last week.

Therefore I did not post last week.

We drove twenty hours up to West Virginia on one day and back down to Texas twenty more hours four days later.

It was only half way through the last trip that my mother (who so graciously offered to keep fighting children separated in the fancy rent car), while reading Two Kisses for Maddie, brought up the fact that maybe we'll all get blood clots and die from sitting so long.

I haven't slept much after that.  Neither has my mother as I get up and poke her every couple of hours to make sure she's still alive.  I know she is happy to be going home today.

I am all creepily freaked out about not being there to spend every waking moment with her because, WTH, she could be next.

Just call me Merry Sunshine.

Derick's mother smoked, took psychiatric medications for many years, was overweight, got no exercise whatsoever, sat for long periods of time, and her cholesterol was through the roof.  My mother is the opposite of all of that, but still, I worry for her.  She is almost 69.  All of her siblings passed before 62.   I feel like we're living on borrowed time.

We do not know for certain how my mother-in-law passed.  She was found last Thursday but they list her date of death as last Sunday.   There was no viewing.   Maybe she had a heart attack?  A stroke?  They identified her body by the pins from a previous ankle surgery.   Horrible.

You know I wasn't close to her.  She was so very different than my own family and, although she came to accept me over time, wasn't too crazy about me.  Still.   No one should have to die like that.    Was she alive for a while and couldn't get up or did she die instantly?  Where were those friends who went on and on at the funeral about how they spent every day with her?  Didn't they miss her for four days?  Didn't her daughter find it odd that her phone was off the hook that long?  (She was apparently reaching for the phone).  Did she know what was happening to her?   Sad, sad, sad.

I am thinking of getting my parents the Life Alert system.   That would make a great birthday gift don't you think?

I have all kinds of emotions right now.  Fear for my own mom's life, guilt for not making more of an effort with my MIL,  empathy for my husband is riding his own emotional roller coaster,  grief for my children's loss.

I also feel much relief after ridding my child of the lice he picked up from the hotel easy chair he sat in playing his video games for hours and hours.

Oh yes.   We went to my mother-in-law's funeral and three hours later were dousing ourselves in $100 dollars worth of RID after finding a live LOUSE crawling on my child.

Dog dies = Shingles
Mother-in-law dies = Lice

Let's not have anymore death for a while shall we?

2013

I don't know why January 1 makes me want to change things.   Why not April or October?   I guess if everyone else is doing it......

1.  We will eat more healthy foods and less junk   I can't remember everything I resolved to do in 2012, but I do know this was one of them because I did better with this than 2011.  I can still do better though.   So far I have quit making desserts and buying sweets at the store unless on a special occasion.  I also stopped buying soda and we drink only water unless someone wants milk.  I will splurge at times on the fresh squeezed juice at the store, but only that.  If the label says anything other than juice and water I won't buy it.  In the next weeks I am going to eliminate salty school snacks in place of more fruit and hopefully by the end of the year we aren't eating much processed food at all.

2.  I am going to lose twenty pounds   I've gained twenty pounds since I started working.    I am sure it's from the Thursday night pizza and quicky, fatty casseroles I've put together when I no longer have that much free time.  Probably the fridge full of soda my boss keeps stocked for us too.   I love Pepsi.  And Dr. Pepper.  I don't usually  choose the bottles of water when I see that staring back at me, but in an effort to bang out numbers 1 AND 2 that's my new plan.   I am also going to use that fancy bicycle my husband bought me two birthdays ago that has only been used twice.  And that six month old Zumba video that's still in the packaging. 

3.  No More Facebook Games  I am down to only one and I only do it once a day right before I head to bed.  I bought a new computer since I fried my fourth one and my husband refused to load Flash onto it because he is sure I am getting viruses through the games.  I was mad about that at first, but not being able to get on the games has really freed up a lot of my time and I actually don't miss them that much.  It was hard to let go of the 1000 horseshoes I'd amassed and the three plus year to get to level 110, but after a few days I realized it really wasn't all that important. 

4.  I will blog once a week   This totally counts as week 2 right?

5.  I am going to organize this house  I usually do this in the summer, but I made a conscious effort not to do it this year.  That and I just never could get into it.  I don't regret it much since I was able to mostly relax and hang with the kids, but now with the new Christmas toys it's a bit messy.  I have set aside a Friday each month  ( I am off on Fridays) to do one room.   I also ordered tons of cute stuff from Thirty-one to keep all the school stuff, mail, and my lesson plan stuff all in order. 

6  I will update the baby books   One day.

7.  I will say a prayer over each of my children before we head out in the mornings   I've done this a few times in the car after some excrutiatingly rough mornings and it has at least helped ME get on with my day.  If we make it a habit before it gets crazy, then maybe it will calm things here.  We have notoriously bad mornings with Jacob's meds taking half an hour to kick in, so hoping this will help, if nothing else they can leave and know no matter how loud I may get, I still love them and want God to watch out for them. 

8.  I will take my children to Disney World and I will not over plan it and just let them enjoy it
I mean, what fun is it if Mom is telling you everything that you should do?   That book just overwhelms me and my blood pressure goes up when I open it.   I booked the hotel and a couple meals and the Princess makeover.....I am done.  I want to show up and have fun now and I will pretend that letting the children run wild will make a better, understanding, teaching parent. 

Eight is enough

2012

Okay, so the Thanksgiving posts didn't happen.   In a nutshell, I have a lot to be thankful for, maybe I'll elaborate on that in November.

Anyway, Kether has inspired me.   I am going to attempt to blog 52 times this year.  Yes, you read that right.   Once a week.   Wouldn't that be awesome?  I mean, if anyone really reads my drivel anymore.  If nothing else, maybe I'll have something to print out and add to my very thin baby books.

 I am grateful to still keep in touch with many of you through Facebook (All hail the mighty FB).   I started blogging in 2005 when my middle child (Adam) was nine months old.  He is now almost eight.  Startling.  I lived in a strange neighborhood in a relatively new state with not one local friend.  Blogging got me through colic, speech therapy, a surprise pregnancy, a new job, and the still ongoing ADHD/Aspergers/Whatever the new trendy label saga.   I miss the daily blogging.  I miss my virtual friends.

Until I find something to write about next week, here is 2012 in pictures:

January

Adam turned seven and all three children got along for the entire day.

February

Then we celebrated our sweet Ezra's 14th birthday.   We had steak, bananas, BBQ, and pop-tarts.  He was very happy and showered with tons of love.

March

We have lots of birthdays at the beginning of the year......Jacob turned 11.  Go ahead and check out the beginning of my blog if you can't remember that this child was FOUR when I started.  Man, I feel old.

April

Yet another birthday.   Elizabeth, who did not even exist at the onset of this blog, turned five.  FIVE!   I miss having a baby, but I have to say, she is a wonderful child.

May

Elizabeth graduated preschool.   I cried the whole time.  How blessed I was to be right next door to her for two years.  I miss her this year.

June

Elizabeth's first dance recital!  I actually imagined this not long after the doctor said "it's a girl!"  Costumes, dancing, the sweetness!  She loved being on stage and did fabulously!  I cried through the whole thing.

July

Our annual trip to The Woodlands.  This time we spent a day at Splashtown.   That was the week it flooded in The Woodlands so we cut it short and went back again in August but I forgot my camera.

August

School started much too early for our taste.  You can just see how happy they were about it.  I now have three school children.  No more babies for me.  *sniff*

September

Our precious Ezra passed away.   We still miss him.   He truly was the best dog ever.

October

Elizabeth lost her first tooth.  I was not ready for that.  I cried.  Again.

November

Adam made a diorama about the sperm whale.  All by himself.  With no help from his parents which was very evident in comparison to all the others lining the hallway.  He made a 100 and was so proud of himself.  He also did this in October.  Apparently I didn't take any pictures in November.  Oops.

December

We went to the Hyatt Regency Lost Pines in Bastrop, TX for a weekend thanks to Derick's company.   It was absolutely awesome and I did seriously consider canceling our March Disney trip to go back.  Two days was not enough.