Back to School

First Day of School 2018

Elizabeth - 6th grade

Adam - 8th grade

Seriously.   I have no idea where the time went.  

My children went back to school.   I did not.

I went back to work in 2010 when Adam was starting kindergarten and Elizabeth came to preschool with me.  Before that I stayed home and took care of them all day.   Now that I am home again it feels like time shouldn't have gone on and they should be five and three again.   I can't explain it.   Like life paused while I was working but, of course, we know it didn't.  

I really loved teaching preschool.   It was the one place I felt instant gratification that I was good at something.   Here at home everything is Momma's fault.   You can't find your shoes?  Momma put them somewhere.   You didn't do your homework?   Momma didn't give you enough time.   Your life is the absolute worst ever?   Momma.   Always Momma.    I don't always feel like a good mom but I always knew I was a great teacher.   For that, I really miss it.  

BUT.

I don't really miss it.  

I have so much more time now.    Our mornings are so much less stressful than they have been the past eight years since I am not on a deadline to get out the door.   I cook a meal every evening and doing  homework doesn't make me want to shoot my eye out.   My house is clean.   I enjoy my children more because I am not doing lesson plans and organizing crafts or just bone tired from spending the day with someone else's children.  

My hope is that I can be the mom my children need right NOW in their lives.   I feel like I haven't been there like I should have these past few years.   Time to focus on my own kids for a change.  

Wish us luck.