To the Male Members of Our Family (You know who you are),
The white, round, porcelein thing in each of the bathrooms is a toilet. That hole in the middle is where you aim. That is where the pee goes. The pee does not go on the floor, in the tub, or on the walls. Aim for the hole.
That silver handle at the top of that toilet is very cool. If you press it, it makes a cool noise and you won't believe what happens to the water! You should try it sometime. Believe me, you won't be disappointed.
This letter is to officially inform you that, as of this moment, cleaning pee and flushing toilets is no longer a part of my job description. Please become familiar with the toilet technology as soon as possible so that you may take over these tasks. Thank you.
Day One Hundred Eighty-Eight
13 hours ago