Thursday, May 15, 2008

My New View

You like that?

It's not exactly my direct view, but if I walk ten houses down and to the right a bit, there it is. Me likey.

I am still stunned that finally, finally we'll be moving away from here.

And I am stunned that I am sad about it. Would you believe I have actually been sobbing about it most of the day?

Pulling into the driveway this morning, I got a different view of this house. I realize I actually do like this house. I like my huge bedroom and the his and hers closets. The covered porch is beautiful and I love having dinner out there when the weather is nice. I will really miss the orange trees and the hibiscus we planted right after Jacob was born. I love having mature trees that shade us from the Texas heat and hold the homemade swing Jacob is so crazy about (what he'll miss the most he says). And my laundry room! I think I'll miss it most of all. I LOVE having an upstairs laundry room. How will I ever adjust?

Mostly, though, I am sad because my kids probably won't remember this house at all. I can't show Jacob where I stood at the mirror in the entryway as we entered the house with him the first time and tell him how I cried just seeing myself holding our wee baby in our house. How I gauged his growth every night by that same mirror as I hefted him up the stairs to bed every night. How I've done that with each one of them and I still remember that day every time. None of them will remember joining the family here, walking through the door the first time as we struggled to adjust to a new life with a new person. This is where our family began. This is where our view on life changed. I will miss it for that.

We'll miss you little red house. We'd stay if you weren't so small and in the middle of a crappy neighborhood. We'll find a nice family to appreciate you or be able to get funding, whichever comes first.


Melissa said...

*sniff, sniff* I feel for ya! I'm that way too except I go a step further and actually feel like the house would be sad without us. You'll make many more wonderful memories that the kids can share with you. Take lots of pictures of little "red" to remember her/him and to tell your children fond stories of said house.

One reason I like reading your blog so much is that many a time I can relate. You make me smile!

Aunt Becky said...

Oh sister, you're talking to the girl who gets upset when a restaurant I like closes. This makes plenty of sense to me.

Shane said...

Ohhhh I know how you feel. I felt the same way when we sold our first house in Morgantown. It was a wonferful house but was in a stinky neighborhood too. Looking at Garrett's empty nursery on moving day was absolutely heart breaking. Now, 6 moves later, it definitely gets easier I must say! Just take lots of pictures now...before you start packing and everything is still normal. Best wishes.

Tracey said...

Ok, I feel for ya. I do. I REALLY do. But you HATE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD. I am SO freaking happy for you guys!!! SEE ya crappy neighbors!! Hello fresh start!

Take lots of pics of the inside of your house TODAY, before you start packing up. And you'd be surprised how much the boys, especially Jacob, might remember. Justin still remembers his first and seconds homes!

Miss Hope said...

We just sold our home back in SC and I had the same issues. I brought all three of my babies in the door there and it was hard as heck to let it go. For that one little (big to me) reason.

Six months down the road? You'll be saying.."What little red house?"

Mommy Daisy said...

Very nice view! I would love that too. It would be worth the daily trek out there just to see it and sigh.

I can understand being sentimental about your old house. I know I will be that way when we move from this house. It was our first house and where be brought our baby home and all those fun things. Aww, it makes my tummy ache just thinking about it.