Love Stinks

My oldest son doesn't have many friends. Sad, but true. He tries, but his immaturity issues make it hard for him to form age-appropriate relationships. The ADD makes it hard for him to focus on social cues so he doesn't quite understand sarcasm and humor and the fact that when the kids run from him they aren't doing it to play chase.

This, so far though, is more of a problem for me than it is for him. Aside from the time he was bullied incessantly for four weeks last November, he doesn't really care. To him EVERYONE is his friend regardless of how sneaky cruel they are to him because, honestly, he doesn't get that they're being cruel to him.

I, however, do, and I secretly harbor a grudge against their parents for teaching them such rude behavior and then hope the kids flunk out of the first grade so I never have to see their sneaky, nasty faces again.

I know they are only seven, but they are screwing. with. MY. BABY. Don't judge me.

Anyway, as I was writing, Jacob has two close friends. One lives in Baton Rouge and the other lives across the street from my parents at the lake. Her name is Anna.

See Anna:



Jacob has been friends with Anna for a while. She used to come out and play with him when she was a wee tot and he was a teeny baby. As the months and years have passed, so have the children grown until now Anna is ten and Jacob is seven and now they play games and ride bikes and eat popscicles and chase lizards from the crack of dawn until well after dark every weekend we are at the lake. At least there, he has a friend.

Well, at least until the end of July.

Anna and her family are moving. Three hours north of Lake-town. Who knows when, or if, we'll see Anna again.

This, naturally, upset Jacob. We expected that.

What we didn't expect was the three hour sobfest on the drive home.

"Oh, I miss Anna!"

"I love Anna!"

"What will I do without Anna!"

"I don't want to live without Anna!"

"How can I marry Anna if she moves away and meets someone else?"

What? Huh?

It was so sad. At first. I comforted him and talked to him and explained the changes of the world (Turn, Turn, Turn, Kum-ba-yah yada, yada, yada), but it continued on and on and on until I could no longer hear the name Anna without wanting to throw something. I finally had to threaten death to the Webkinz and Gameboy and toss in an early bedtime to shut him up. Even then he continued to quietly moan until he fell asleep.

Oy. He is seven. SEVEN. His world has ended and he's SEVEN. He's moping around like a fifteen year old who's just been dumped. If it's this bad now, what will it be like then? How is going to handle it? How am I going to handle it? Can I just whisk him away and live in a cave until he's thirty?

I think I need to take stock in the Tums company now. I foresee a lifelong stomach ache on my hands.