Monday, July 07, 2008

Love Stinks

My oldest son doesn't have many friends. Sad, but true. He tries, but his immaturity issues make it hard for him to form age-appropriate relationships. The ADD makes it hard for him to focus on social cues so he doesn't quite understand sarcasm and humor and the fact that when the kids run from him they aren't doing it to play chase.

This, so far though, is more of a problem for me than it is for him. Aside from the time he was bullied incessantly for four weeks last November, he doesn't really care. To him EVERYONE is his friend regardless of how sneaky cruel they are to him because, honestly, he doesn't get that they're being cruel to him.

I, however, do, and I secretly harbor a grudge against their parents for teaching them such rude behavior and then hope the kids flunk out of the first grade so I never have to see their sneaky, nasty faces again.

I know they are only seven, but they are screwing. with. MY. BABY. Don't judge me.

Anyway, as I was writing, Jacob has two close friends. One lives in Baton Rouge and the other lives across the street from my parents at the lake. Her name is Anna.

See Anna:

Jacob has been friends with Anna for a while. She used to come out and play with him when she was a wee tot and he was a teeny baby. As the months and years have passed, so have the children grown until now Anna is ten and Jacob is seven and now they play games and ride bikes and eat popscicles and chase lizards from the crack of dawn until well after dark every weekend we are at the lake. At least there, he has a friend.

Well, at least until the end of July.

Anna and her family are moving. Three hours north of Lake-town. Who knows when, or if, we'll see Anna again.

This, naturally, upset Jacob. We expected that.

What we didn't expect was the three hour sobfest on the drive home.

"Oh, I miss Anna!"

"I love Anna!"

"What will I do without Anna!"

"I don't want to live without Anna!"

"How can I marry Anna if she moves away and meets someone else?"

What? Huh?

It was so sad. At first. I comforted him and talked to him and explained the changes of the world (Turn, Turn, Turn, Kum-ba-yah yada, yada, yada), but it continued on and on and on until I could no longer hear the name Anna without wanting to throw something. I finally had to threaten death to the Webkinz and Gameboy and toss in an early bedtime to shut him up. Even then he continued to quietly moan until he fell asleep.

Oy. He is seven. SEVEN. His world has ended and he's SEVEN. He's moping around like a fifteen year old who's just been dumped. If it's this bad now, what will it be like then? How is going to handle it? How am I going to handle it? Can I just whisk him away and live in a cave until he's thirty?

I think I need to take stock in the Tums company now. I foresee a lifelong stomach ache on my hands.


OneHungMan said...

Damn, that's harsh.

Tracey said...

I SO understand. Justin used to do this about everything. Everyone was his "friend" even if they didn't agree with that description.

Thankfully, he has a sense of humor now. He's still more sensitive than other kids, but it's no where NEAR as bad as it used to be.

No real advice. Just hugs as I understand.

Aunt Becky said...

Poor ickle dude. I feel his pain.

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I'm so sad for him. Poor guy! And poor mom too. It's hard to see our kids hurt and it's harder to listen to it for hours on end.

Lynsey said...

oh that totally stinks. He needs ice cream and lots of it.

Shane said...

Bless his little heart. Garrett did the same thing when we moved from Morgantown, He had a best friend there, also a girl, and thought his life would never be the same. He was six at the time. Needless to say, he's still alive and kicking. He has another girl here that he's good friends with. Girls always relate to him better than boys. That's just the way it is.

Heidi said...

Oh my gosh, my heart breaks for him. I can't stand it when my children are hurt, or anyone elses. I had a friend who's son was so gifted that his social skills were so off he didn't have friends either. I just encouraged her that when he grew up he gets to create his own world, and surround him with the people he wants, the job he wants & he will get out of this world that forces him to be around those mean bully kids. Your boy sounds like he has a big heart and is probably a really great friend. One will come along & he will be just fine. Until then, you can cry on my shoulder.

Miss Hope said...

My heart just hurts for the poor baby. Maybe it's time to teach him how to be an old fashioned pen pal? Wouldn't be a great little project now and again! (We military families are encouraged to do this with our kids, too)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

"Kum-bay-ya" just made m crack up!

Poor kid. It's sad to lose your first love, especially so early in life. Here's to hoping his next Anna comes along soon.

tonywade said...

Wow, you sound like the best mom ever, Do you turn into kinda a different person once you have kids? Like I dont have children yet, and im not sure if im ready for the changes. Is it like when you dont have kids, its all aboyt you, having fun, saving some bucks so you can go to Vegas or mexico and having a sweet time, but it seems like once you have kids, its not about you anymore, you now exist to ensure youte child becomes happy,successfi;, self sufficient,you have a new role, for pretty much a quarter of a century

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

I personally own stock in several wineries, not Tums. Ha!

I have a high-intensity, applywhateverlabletheywant 7-year old son who is just a freakin' genius, but one of those odd geniuses, yk? I totally get you on the whole friendship thing and wanting to eat little kids for dinner when they are mean to your kid. Grrrrr.