Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Was Just Making Sure They Were Paying Attention

It's been a long afternoon.

After falling asleep watching Toy Story 2 for the five thousandth twentieth time, I woke up just in time to find we needed to get in the car QUICK to pick up Jacob. Thank you Elizabeth for writing on my face with the blue ball point pen or I might still be lying there.

By the time I strapped my two diaper/underwear clad preschoolers into their safety seats, I was already ten minutes late. The light at the middle school up the street put me behind another five. Dang kids wanting to GO HOME by CROSSING THE STREET!

When I pulled into the school I was already late enough to have to wait for every. single. highschooler to cross the driveway or just stand their gabbing while I wait-wait-waited and I swear I never thought about plowing them down inching into them little by little to MAYBE get them to mosey out of the fricking street.

As I finally pulled around the back of the building where my child should have been seething waiting, he wasn't there. I quickly scanned through the eight kids left sitting and he was nowhere to be found. I pulled my car up to see if he was sitting behind a pole. Wasn't there either. The duty teacher came over panic-stricken and asked if Jacob had rode home with a friend by mistake. I proceeded to flip out and wonder out loud, DID YA'LL JUST PUT MY KID IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR? And my heart started to pound through my ears and that Frito chili pie I had for lunch started moving on up.

So I parked my car, released my almost naked children, and headed for the building, or the office, or the classroom, or who knows where I was going? My kid was MISSING!

And as I blew past that duty teacher, she just happened to say, "Could he be in a help class?"

And then it dawned on me.

I signed my kid, that one I was so worried about, the one I apparently remember nothing about, up for the after-school algebra (seriously, algebra, in third grade!) help class his teacher offered in a note the night before.

I wasn't late. He was late. And now I was early. So. Very. Early. Standing like a crazy person with two almost-naked children out in the kinda-sorta-you might say it's chilly weather. With blue pen marks on my face.


And I wonder why some of those mothers make fun of me.


Jana said...

Algebra? In third grade? I'm gonna be in so much trouble in a couple of years.

But I'm glad you weren't late!

Shannon said...

That is funny, totally sounds like something I am sure I did and forgot about! Algebra in third grade? Really? My teenagers have a hard enough time with it, good luck, you'll be glad for Google! :)

Fran said...

I think the blue pen on your face made this story so much better than it would have been otherwise. Without that element we may have just chuckled but I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my coffee!

Krys72599 said...

I wish I lived next door to you! I wouldn't make fun of you, I swear!
(But I might say to dear hubby, "At least I don't have blue pen on my face!")

ChupieandJ'smama said...

That must have been frightening! Glad that it all turned out well. Sorry about the blue pen. It could have been worse. You could have been flashing a boob ;)

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Oh, but you make such lovely blog post material! I loved this.

FYI my word verification is "orgasms." nice.

Sadie said...

I agree, the pen on your face just makes that good story even more awesome.

I want orgasms to be my word verification.

Sadie said...

Also, I have blogged a whole bunch lately and you haven't commented. You are my first blog friend, you can't abandon me now!

Sadie said...

I thought maybe if I kept trying I'd get "orgasms" for my word verification. It's not working yet. "efrionym"

Miss Hope said...

So how long did it take for your heart to quit beating a mile a minute? Been there with ya, girl...except for the face grafitti. That, my friend, is all yours! LOL orgasm word verification here...only a "creaperi"

Dana said...

Oh my gosh! This SOOOOO sounds like me! If only I lived closer. We'd so be friends who TRULY understood each others lives! SO funny!

4funboys said...

never, never make fun!!

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Make fun of you? They are just jealous of your awesome ink tattoo.