I Just Wanted to Squeeze One More Post Into October

We had plenty of uncostumed adults come around, and this year the added bonus of scantily clad preteens and teenagers. I mean, who buys naughty nurse outfits for their twelve year old? Really?

But anyway, it wasn't all bad....



I did let Jacob earn a few houses with extra chores and a hundred sentences detailing his remorse for his crimes. I probably should've stuck to my guns and denied him, but I figure I only have a few Halloweens left with him and I know he wouldn't fit into that 75% off 2009 clearance costume next year.

When we returned home, the kids found a Christmas show deep within the DVR and are already making plans for the Christmas tree.

Does that officially make it the holiday season?

Deck the Halls ya'll.

Happy Helloween.

I still feel bitchy.

So....


You know what? I don't really care for Halloween. The best part about it is seeing my kids in cute costumes but they do that everyday. If we want candy, I buy it at the store, so really? Halloween doesn't do much for me.

The kids, like all kids, think it's full of the awesome. Never mind that half their candy gets thrown out because they don't like that kind or the ends of their favorite costume gets frayed from dragging it down the asphalt street, but since everyone else loves it and is doing it, they must too.

Nine years ago when child one was a wee tot, I dressed him up and handed out candy to our old neighbors and was surprised to find so many "babies" trick-or-treating. I mean, my kid was eating solids at that time but there was no way I could make the argument that he was gumming caramel chews for dessert, yet there were newly birthed, still wrinkly red babies whose daddies were holding out their bag "for them". Really? I don't remember anyone doing that when we were kids. If you could walk, hold your own bag, and chomp the goodies, then you trick-or-treated. That was that.

As the years have gone by, I've noticed the adults are just scrapping the babies all together. Shoot, they don't even wear costumes. They hold out a used grocery bag and shoot me a scowl that says to me, "drop the Snickers or your dog gets it later", which from a thirty year old is kinda like extortion and isn't that a crime? I mean, shoot, we even taught our dog it wasn't nice to beg.

We now, and have for the past three Halloweens, lived in a gated community. The premise of which means you need to live here or know someone here to cruise our streets but, oh, to all the candy beggars it means we must have better candy than their place because each year someone actually jimmies the gate open and the whole town comes barreling through....MOST of them without actual children. On November 1, our homeowners association will have to pay part of our dues to have it fixed. Again.

Last year I bought ten bags of good chocolate candy. It was gone in fifteen minutes. I probably handed out one bag to our neighbors. Maybe four bags to kids.

I just don't understand why a grown adult would think it's okay to hijack a child's holiday just to save a few bucks at the supermarket. Or why they or their kids need so much of it. Wonder why America has an obesity problem? Maybe it started with Halloween.

This year my oldest has had his trick-or-treating privileges revoked so he will stay home with me and our bucket of candy. The good stuff. My neighbor's children will be treated nicely. I have another bowl filled with the apples and oranges that were on sale this week. I am just looking out for the gate-crasher's health.

Looking forward to November ya'll.

Intermission

I'll get back to my Jacob story soon, but right now, I'm kinda pissed and what good is a damn blog if I can't bitch about shit here?

And really? I'm probably the only one who reads me anymore anyway.

But if you do happen to stumble across this post, it may not make much sense because I'm writing from the hip in a snit so....you've been fairly warned.

Jacob had a field trip today. I HATE field trip day. Shit, I hate pretty much any school day where parents are invited to tag along because where some of their kids are little demons in size 1 sneakers, the parents, well, I guess it stands to reason those little devils had to learn it somewhere.

As you know Jacob attends private school so there's no bus so parents have to drive the kids to, well, everything. I could let him ride with someone else, but I'm not entirely comfortable with that especially since the last time I allowed it the mother held his lunch box hostage for three weeks and then excluded only MY KID from the huge birthday bash she threw a few weeks after that. The other "Christian" parents, well, they apparently have perfect children because after an afternoon with my kid, I start getting "the look".

I got "the look" again this morning while stomping through some wretched excuse for a nature trail while my excited fourth grader ran away from the pack to see a huge spider, pick up some cool acorns, and gather some trash. I got it again as his arm continued to shoot up to ask a question that never really was a question, but a story, and, OMG, how dare he try to share a story. I got it again when he put ten paces between himself and the girl in front of him, that girl, and stuck his fingers in his ears when I tried to reason with him.

To all these perfect parents, and I've encountered millions of them in the almost ten years we've lived with our son, I am subpar parent. They shake their heads at my supposed lack of discipline, they move away from us little by little, they shield their children from us with their arm and lead them away as if what my child, what WE, have is contagious or maybe I'll run over, the awful parent I am, and eat their child because, well, why did an animal like me have a child?

We were kicked out of Mother's Day Out because Jacob wasn't "capable of instruction" and "couldn't follow directions". He was two.

We were kicked out of Sunday School because Jacob was "too rough" and "made the head deacons a child cry". He was three.

We were not invited to one birthday party in preschool although the rest of the class was because "there wasn't enough space". He was four.

We were asked to change Gymboree classes because another mother "was scared of him". He was FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. All. His. Life.

You know what? I'm fucking sick of it.

Yes. My kid is weird. He talks a lot. He has TONS of exuberence over EVERYTHING he sees and you know what? What the hell is wrong with that?

Why is my kid getting the shit beat out of him on a weekly basis because he runs funny and can't play football? Why the fuck do we give a shit if all the boys can play football? All the football stars from my high school are now fat and living off welfare, the welfare my non-athletic husband is paying for with the 45% taxes he donates every paycheck.

Why am I a bad parent because my kid talks to your kid, oh exalted Christian school mother? Why are you not the bad parent because you drag your kid away with "the look"? My kid doesn't know a stranger. To him, everyone is his friend, well, until a few weeks ago when he learned to be mean to "that girl" thanks to your kid who taught him the meaning of ugly, stupid, and retard and who now thinks this is the way boys are supposed to act. But go on, keep giving me the look, your child is "cool" and has many friends so therefore you must be doing something right.

Also, maybe next time look behind you before you start calling my kid a retard to your giggly friend. I heard every word you said. Well, at least the English part. Maybe next time speak it all in Spanish because I know there was more I didn't catch, but the finger pointing is usually a pretty good give away. I'd bring up how it was YOUR kid burying himself in pebbles and rocks on the playground after lunch and that's pretty damn weird, but you know what, he's a kid. Kids are weird.

Every day for the past nine years I have been judged. I have lost "friends". I've been given advice from strangers. I've been pitied. I've been talked about. I've been shunned. I've cried. I've been mad. I've begged for help. I've wondered why? why? why? And you know what? Fuck it. I teach my kids right from wrong. I attempt to instill in them good values and the importance of being kind to everyone. They've heard a few cuss words and certainly know what it's like to be yelled at, but they are loved. And disciplined. And they learn from living this life that some people are just assholes. Even the saintly Christian ones.

Jacob Part One

Let's see....Where were we last about Jacob?

Oh yeah, Schizophrenic summer. Uh-huh.

So Jacob's meds were changed and he wouldn't sleep and he thought something was going to come and kill him and then we changed them back and after a few weeks he was back to "normal". About this time school was starting and the whole reason we went to that blasted psychiatrist in the first place, the ANGER, was starting again too.

I really don't know which was worse.

Of course, Jacob would be placed in a class with the same bullies he had in first grade. Of course those kids would start the year off calling him gay, pushing him down, and generally making his life miserable. Of course he's angry, I mean, if I spent eight hours a day in that kind of situation, I'd be pretty angry too, but seriously, it gets old when it's directed at ME, his mother, the ONE person who spends most of her waking moments trying to get everything fixed for him.

But anyway....

His teacher was on top of it all and did bring all of those kid's parents in and tell them she wasn't putting up with that behavior and they had detention for a while and it subsided for a time, but as it usually does, they have learned how to sneak around and continue their "antics" while making Jacob look like a liar when he begs for help. The teacher does what she can, but it goes no further. The administration refuses to believe that there are bullies in their Christian school, because, you know, Christians would never bully anyone. They are all full of love and kindness ALL. THE. TIME.

Yeah.

So he's still getting bullied, he's still angry, he's started lying so I never know when to really believe him if he says someone is bothering him because sometimes I've gone up there and, lo and behold, it's JACOB caught doing the bullying. It seems Jacob has found someone to bully.

This. Makes Mommy angry.

You'd think a child like Jacob who has spent pretty much every moment of his school life being tormented would have empathy for a child deemed unattractive, less smart, and puny, but no, you'd be wrong. My kid leads the pack in tormenting this poor girl, yes GIRL, pretty much everyday. He has even been to detention for it and you KNOW he was punished severely here for it. Privileges? LOL. Not for this child.

But you know what? None of that matters. He won't stop. In fact, he spends most of his day plotting his revenge on her because in his warped mind she is in love with him and SHE looks at him and OMG what if all those bully boys see and make fun of him????

So it all goes back to them.

Of course it does.

My kid did not make honor roll for the first time this nine weeks. My kid who made second highest average last year has second lowest average this year. He doesn't turn things in, he lies about having homework, if he has homework he fights me for hours before ever completing it, if he ever does complete it. We are paying $500 a month to watch him fail before our eyes.

He can fail at the free public school. If he won't put forth the effort, he won't be going there anymore. He has until next semester's bill is due to get it together. His therapist, though, doesn't think it matters to him. He's lost all desire to attend school at all. He sees moving schools as a pretty decent solution to his problems. Never mind that the neighborhood kids who bully him would be in his class there. Because, yes, he now has neighborhood bullies.

Of course.

Bullies, bullies, everywhere.....

To be continued.