Monday, October 25, 2010

Jacob Part One

Let's see....Where were we last about Jacob?

Oh yeah, Schizophrenic summer. Uh-huh.

So Jacob's meds were changed and he wouldn't sleep and he thought something was going to come and kill him and then we changed them back and after a few weeks he was back to "normal". About this time school was starting and the whole reason we went to that blasted psychiatrist in the first place, the ANGER, was starting again too.

I really don't know which was worse.

Of course, Jacob would be placed in a class with the same bullies he had in first grade. Of course those kids would start the year off calling him gay, pushing him down, and generally making his life miserable. Of course he's angry, I mean, if I spent eight hours a day in that kind of situation, I'd be pretty angry too, but seriously, it gets old when it's directed at ME, his mother, the ONE person who spends most of her waking moments trying to get everything fixed for him.

But anyway....

His teacher was on top of it all and did bring all of those kid's parents in and tell them she wasn't putting up with that behavior and they had detention for a while and it subsided for a time, but as it usually does, they have learned how to sneak around and continue their "antics" while making Jacob look like a liar when he begs for help. The teacher does what she can, but it goes no further. The administration refuses to believe that there are bullies in their Christian school, because, you know, Christians would never bully anyone. They are all full of love and kindness ALL. THE. TIME.


So he's still getting bullied, he's still angry, he's started lying so I never know when to really believe him if he says someone is bothering him because sometimes I've gone up there and, lo and behold, it's JACOB caught doing the bullying. It seems Jacob has found someone to bully.

This. Makes Mommy angry.

You'd think a child like Jacob who has spent pretty much every moment of his school life being tormented would have empathy for a child deemed unattractive, less smart, and puny, but no, you'd be wrong. My kid leads the pack in tormenting this poor girl, yes GIRL, pretty much everyday. He has even been to detention for it and you KNOW he was punished severely here for it. Privileges? LOL. Not for this child.

But you know what? None of that matters. He won't stop. In fact, he spends most of his day plotting his revenge on her because in his warped mind she is in love with him and SHE looks at him and OMG what if all those bully boys see and make fun of him????

So it all goes back to them.

Of course it does.

My kid did not make honor roll for the first time this nine weeks. My kid who made second highest average last year has second lowest average this year. He doesn't turn things in, he lies about having homework, if he has homework he fights me for hours before ever completing it, if he ever does complete it. We are paying $500 a month to watch him fail before our eyes.

He can fail at the free public school. If he won't put forth the effort, he won't be going there anymore. He has until next semester's bill is due to get it together. His therapist, though, doesn't think it matters to him. He's lost all desire to attend school at all. He sees moving schools as a pretty decent solution to his problems. Never mind that the neighborhood kids who bully him would be in his class there. Because, yes, he now has neighborhood bullies.

Of course.

Bullies, bullies, everywhere.....

To be continued.


BethGo said...

I'm so sorry.

Is there a resource specialist on site who can help?

We put the boys in private school this year and we have a "Student Support" person who helps kids when they have issues with others.

I hope you are able to find some resolution to all of this.
Thinking of you.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I'm sorry, Andria. Justin and Jacob are so similar. He was picked on and retaliated by picking on other kids, just like Jacob. People who classify kids as only bullies don't look deep enough. ALL kids bully other kids. It's in our human DNA or something to want to be above other people. It SUCKS.

Though Justin can make friends easily enough, he has awfully high standards as to what he deems fair and just and lord help the child who doesn't fit into his standards. I can easily picture Justin working in a small company or as a consultant from his home, where he doesn't have to interact with lots and lots of people and their "weird" social tendencies every day.


Aimee said...

I'm so sorry, Andria.

Crazed Nitwit said...

Kids go where they know. He was bullied so he wants some power and control any way he can get it.

I am sorry this whole cycle began in the first place.

Huge amounts of hugs. Huge