As If I Don't Have Enough to Do

Ya'll are so good to me.

Your support during my pity party was greatly appreciated. It's nice to know a girl has someone out there. Even if we haven't formally met yet.

Things are a little better this week.

I actually kinda like Jacob's new medicine even though it takes over an hour to begin working in the morning and the patch leaves raw red spots on his skin. It lasts longer than the last one so he is more tolerable in the evening. Of course, we saw Santa last week too, so I am sure that is helping some.

Yes. My kid is in fourth grade and still thinks Santa is one hip dude. I will milk this for as long as I can because as unpredictable as he is, I wouldn't put it past him to ruin it for his siblings.

That, and I really just enjoy seeing him get excited about something. He rarely does these days.

My MIL was here for over a week. I'd like to say these visits get better but they don't. My husband is always so pissed off after she leaves blaming me for the shambles that was his vacation week, but you know, I wasn't here a lot then. Thank goodness for that low-paying job. She has taken to lying. A lot. And wandering around the house all night long. Ten days of little sleep and complete confusion will wear at people. My husband is still an ass, but at least he's a less furious one.

I am kinda ticked off that Frontierville is requirine 200 side dishes and 20 RSVPs (THAT DON'T WORK) to complete the Thanksgiving feast mission. I mean. C'mon.

Oh, and the whole nobody stepped up to be kindergarten room mom leaving me to somehow being delegated the position.

Get this...

(And why I'm surprised about this, I don't know. Adam does go to Jacob's school)

Today is Grandparent's Day at the school. It's really a huge plea for donations masqueraded as a salute to the previous generation, but they make a huge deal over it. Kindergarten especially.

Last week a mass email was sent out by Adam's teacher requesting help on the day of and then another request when no one took her up on the first one. I shot back a reply all letting her know I could be there ONLY if Elizabeth was welcome too since, well, what would I do with her? She said that should be fine and I would be getting an email shortly from the room mom to let me know what my duties would be.

A couple of days later I went in and asked the teacher quite casually, yet a bit concerned, "Hey, what's up with the Grandparents Day thing?" to which she replied, "I have no idea".

Okey-dokey then.

And I promptly forgot about it because I have three kids, a job, meals to cook, and a house to clean.

Fast forward to yesterday, oh ten am-ish, when my email dinged with I can only describe as a vindictive nasty-gram from our "room mom" letting me know that

OUR CLASS IS IN CHARGE OF BRINGING TEA AND LEMONADE FOR 150 PEOPLE. THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS AS I WILL HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF GUESTS AND I ALSO HAVE CHILDREN. I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE THIS ON ASAP. OH. AND WE NEED 3 LARGE RECTANGULAR TABLECLOTHS. I CAN'T BRING THESE EITHER BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN.

And following that well-written piece of information was all the forwarded emails between the four kindergarten room moms and the organized of this fine event. There had been meetings. Our class was delagated to bring the above. Four weeks ago. I am guessing since room mom has kids it has taken her this long to forward the emails. Or, heck, even show up at any of the meetings because in the transcript of the holy Grandparent Day scribe it was noted, NO ONE FROM MRS. B'S CLASS WAS IN ATTENDANCE.

WTH?

Why sign up to be room mom if you so obviously can't take that on?

And do you have to be so capital-lettery bitchy about it?

So not wanting my kid's class to look bad today with bare tables and no drinks, I shot back a reply all email to the entire class to let them know I could stop at the store and get some tea and lemonade but I absolutely, no way in h-e-double hockeysticks had tablecloths, could someone else bring those?

And you know what?

Not one email back did I receive.

So I bought $20 dollars worth of beverages and brought them to the special Grandparent's Day room this morning where one of the other teachers was also dropping off her own stash of drinks because she was told our class wasn't participating.

WHAT?

So we had a lengthy conversation about all that was missed when "room mom" chose not to attend the meetings and let us know what we needed to do and apparently we're going to a Christmas tree farm and we have to buy our kids an ornament for the Nutcracker field trip and there's that party in a couple of weeks.

Okay then.

So I take my kid late with his Gammy in tow for the big beg fest program and I stop in to ask his teacher if she, in fact, has an actual room mom. To which she replied, "Well, not really....."

Seems "room mom" was gung ho to do it at the beginning but she's been having trouble even speaking with her much less getting her to do things.

She had to rely on her child's teacher's room mom (got that?) to help her with the grandparent day gifts they gave out this morning. They were so cute, too.

Guess whose kid didn't get one?

Guess whose teacher is busting her hump getting it slapped together before it's all over at 1?

So it turns out no one is putting together a Christmas Party. "Room Mom" is too busy with her children to do it. My mouth jumped ahead of my brain and told the nice teacher lady that if she'd just send me a list of parent emails I'd be happy to start that up.

Someone should really stop me from talking to people.

Of the fourteen kids in Adam's class, he is the only child whose mama works. Granted, it's only three days a week, but still, those three days a week are pretty full for me. Where are the other thirteen mamas? Damn. When Jacob was in kindergarten I couldn't volunteer for anything because someone else had already gotten to it. This time you can't even get anyone to bring a snack for those poor hungry boogers. (I bring most of the snacks too).

So this is the story of how I became kindergarten room mom.

I promise never to send out capital letter emails.

And I will stalk those who do not sign up to bring party goodies.

And I will do it all with my tiny child in tow and after work when I am bone-tired, just so you lazy other mamas don't have to lift a finger.

Uncle

I give.

I'm done.

I'm tired and I don't think I have another ounce of energy to devote to anyone or anything else.

After all that bitching fighting and the belief that maybe I got somewhere with the school administration, Jacob was pushed down into the dirt and forced to eat some and the recess aide gave him a demerit. I'm guessing she's still a little pissed about being called out on her lack of discipline. Oh, and one of the bully's moms? She's now a recess aide. Of course she is. I think the principal, teacher, and headmaster must have had a good laugh about us after we left that day. Gotta love Christians.

I took Jacob to the pediatrician yesterday in hopes of a miracle cure medication adjustment and we didn't see eye to eye about it. I wanted one thing, she wanted another, so obviously, we did what she wanted. I haven't tried it yet since it's more than half the dosage he's receiving now and don't anticipate he'd have a good school day, but I might, next week. Maybe.

We should be going to my parents to spend Thanksgiving with them and we will. The kids and me. My husband. He will stay home. Alone. You know, I even hesitate to even call him my husband anymore because it certainly doesn't feel like I have one. He leaves the house before 5 a.m and returns after 10 p.m. You might want to feel sorry for him because he has to work such long hours but really? He stays there because he wants to. Seems he made a mistake marrying me. Having kids....well, that really ruined his life. I'd leave him if I didn't know for full certain he'd use that against me to take the kids in spite. That and I need his money. And his health insurance. Oh, and a place to live. He won't leave me because to him, this all belongs to him. So we live in the same house and rarely speak. If we do speak it's rarely cordial. My stomach is in knots and I'm uncomfortable in my own home. It sucks pretty much.

As I type, my kids are fighting and screaming and possibly beating each other to death. I should get up and do something about it, but really? What good would it do? They'll just turn around and do it again. They learn a lot at that Christian school.

I have failed at being a mother. I have failed at being a wife. And because some of my three year old students can not yet read, to their parents I have failed at being a teacher.

I suck.

Can it all stop now?

The Aftermath

It wasn't that bad, really.

I wish they would've said they'd expel all the bullies right away, but of course, that's not feasible. Nice, yes, but feasible, no.

They (the teacher and the principal) were both very nice and very seemed to really want this behavior to end, not only with the kids Jacob deals with, but with the rest of school. They agreed this type of behavior has escalated in the five years Jacob has been there and the principal has said she has already dealt with many of very similar issues already this year.

You know, that's just sad. Why do you think so many kids are behaving this way? Discuss amongst yourselves. I have an strong opinion on this. I'll share it another time.

Anyway...

This is what the administration has agreed to do for us:

1. Monitor the three main bullies and contact their families to let them know what is and has been going on.

2. If the behaviors continue detentions will be given and suspensions after that if necessary. As per the school handbook, three suspensions will have them expelled. The parents will also be notified of this.

3. There will be a meeting of the school committee to address the lack of a bully policy or even ONE bully rule in the school handbook. Something will be added for the books next year detailing the consequences of such actions (the detentions, suspensions, and then expulsions as mentioned previously).

4. The school will use one of the weekly chapel meetings to address bullying and respect for others. (This was something I REALLY wanted them to do. Right now their chapel time is filled with mission trip slides and many sleeping children).

5. The principal will meet with each recess aide to discuss their technique with dealing with bullying. They will all also attend a training class to teach them how to handle bullies and victims.

I am pleased with how it went. If nothing else, it brings to the principal's attention that this is happening, has been happening, and we don't want it to continue to happen.

Also, the looks on the bully's faces when they saw my husband, the teacher, and I standing outside the principal's door was priceless. I figure just for that they'll be on their best behavior at least tomorrow.

You'd think so anyway.

Tomorrow

We meet with the school principal tomorrow afternoon.

The teacher will be there.

My husband will be there.

My notebook full of detailed infractions will be there.

I am strangely calm about this now, but I hate and avoid confrontation so things may change by 2 p.m.

And after that my mother-in-law will be here.

The sun will come out. Tomorrow. And hopefully tomorrow, I will have something positive to tell you.

Surrounded by Flamingoes

Damn. I should sign up for NaBloPoMo. I'm on a roll.

I feel like I should get a flag for my yard like the one that says, "Don't Tread on Me" (whose flag is that), but instead say "Don't Fuck With Me".

I am going in the morning, marching right up to the head honcho's office at Jacob's school and demanding an appointment with him ASAP.

Right in front of me as I was sitting in my car, three boys attempted to trip and shove my kid to the ground and then turn to me and make sure I saw. Then the recess teacher came out to me after she brought them in to let me know that the same three boys were shoving Jacob's face into the water fountain and he never could get a drink. The best she could do to them was to tell them to stop it. She relayed it to the teacher who, best to my knowledge, did nothing and dismissed them for the day. I won't bore you about how the same kids pushed mine back and forth because they are forced to let him play sports with them yet no one wants him on their team.

I pulled out the school handbook and where there's lots of consequences for wearing jeans (detention) and not completing assignments (suspension if it happens three times in a row), there was not ONE THING about how to treat others and what would happen if you didn't make a good choice there. In fact, the only mention of how to treat others states:

Students are expected to act in an orderly and respectful manner maintaining Christian standards or courtesy, kindness, purity, morality, and honesty. Students should demonstrate respect for teachers, staff members, other students, parents, visitors, and others at or away from school. Students are not to talk or be out of their seat without permission.

Of course. That stipulation at the end will get us kicked out of there, but nothing specific about how maybe you shouldn't spit on your classmates.

No bully policy whatsoever. Just gotta have respect for others but I'm sure that will be open to interpretation.

Who wants to bet we get asked to leave while the bullies get to stay? They really needed to add that little tidbit about how, well, if you donate tons of money and your kid is big and will likely help us win a regional football championship in a few years, ya'll can do whatever you want. Christian, Schmistian. Jesus was bullied so it'll be allright.

My kid could've lost a tooth today on that water fountain. You can bet I'd be asking those mamas to pay for his dental work. I may need to have him stitched up the next time he hits the pavement because those little devil's feet mysteriously were in the way. I WILL NOT pay for his funeral because some administrator sat there with his head in the sand pretending his school was a wonderful place. I may lose my job and my kids may have no place to attend school after next week, but dammit, someone has to make a stink about this.

Looks like no one else is going to do it, so it may as well be me.