So, I thought about making an entirely new blog, but, well, eh, who has the time and this one needs some love. If you can call it that.
Since my life almost completely revolves around our daily struggles with "ADD" and this blog is about my life, well, so be it.
So if you haven't read for a while or ever, Jacob, my oldest, has ADD. Not ADHD, ADD. He also has an auditory processing disorder, anxiety, oppositional defiant disorder, and quite possible Aspergers Syndrome.
I don't care what label he has, I just know that it is tearing our family apart.
You know what I am doing right now? I (and my two other kids) are locked in my bedroom and have been for about an hour now. Jacob has been up since 6 am and his foul mouth has not stopped since. Best I can tell he was set off because I asked him to take his medicine.
We were supposed to be up at the lake relaxing by the water with my parents. Instead, Jacob has been committed to an outpatient day treatment facility. I just didn't know what else to do. After a similar tirade last Thursday, I called his psychiatrist who recommended this route. My husband and I discussed and decided we could not afford it, but after he kicked Adam in the ribs and then ran off screaming down the street, we figured we had to do something. So there he is. Two hours a day. I mean, what is he getting in TWO FRICKING HOURS. When I agreed to this, I figured since they used the adjective intensive it would be, well, longer maybe, but whatever. This will be his fourth day. So far, the only peace we have is in the two hours he is away. My little kids and I will be staying in a hotel tonight. If my kids can't have vacation, they can at least be away from this hell.
Every day I see something online or tv about how ADD is fake. Please, all you naysayers, come here and see this shit. You would be amazed. I can guarantee you wouldn't last the day. My husband can't. He works longer and longer and later and later and you know what? I don't blame him. If I had somewhere to go and someone to watch him I would do the same. Thirteen years of miserable unhappiness will wear on a person.
I love my child. Oh man, I love my child. Every penny I make goes toward attempting to get him some help, but so far, nothing has worked. I am hoping this new endeavor will at least make some progress but I am not seeing any yet because right now, I don't like him very much. Oh sure, blah, blah, I don't like the behavior, but I watch him fight everything we try and it kinda makes me not like the person much either. I am human. Sue me.
So here is where I will document every step we take because I am telling you, if someone had warned me that THIS was ADD, I wouldn't have believed them and maybe someone else can be comforted by the fact that they are not alone.
Day One Hundred Eighty-Eight
13 hours ago