Let me tell you this crap is no joke for a hypochondriac with anxiety issues. I am scared ya'll!
I cannot believe I flew my family to VAIL, COLORADO right into a hotspot for a fucking vacation!
Sweet Lord, I will never forgive myself if they catch this because I thought it would be fun for them to ski.
I haven't been out in eight days. I wouldn't have gone out then but I had a doctor appointment I thought was necessary (probably wasn't). My kids have not left the house in thirteen days. My husband left the house this morning. He goes to work every day. It is KILLING me. I like to think we didn't catch the virus in the airport two weeks ago and are doing A-OK until I remember, he is probably bringing it to us every single day he walks out that door. I really don't even know what to do in this situation. He doesn't seem to care. I try to stay away from him but then he crawls into bed with me every night and I wake up with his face right in mine and we start the do-I-or-don't-I count all over again.
I can't imagine people working in hospitals. Or grocery stores.
And what is up with people still getting take-out? I mean, you don't know who is cooking your damn food!
Our town highway runs behind our backyard. I still hear the same amount of cars I always have. I hear the radios blaring, people having fun. I still see the traffic update on the news and there are plenty of cars all over town. I see the posts on our town Facebook page or the same people lining up inches away from one another to walk into the supermarket and hoard the same shit they did the day before. I watch my neighbor having a big ass playdate. Outside in front of my house without a care in the world.
WTF....WTF is wrong with people? Why is our country not completely shut down? Why are car dealerships open? Why are restaurants still open? Why can't people eat at home for two weeks? Why can't my husband who insists he stays in his office all day do the same thing at home without being fired?
I haven't seen my parents since mid-February. They are 76 years old. They have cardiovascular issues. I am scared. I don't want to lose them. They are at the lake far away from others but they will run out of food soon. And medicines. They will have to go out. I am scared. I try to play that last time I saw them in my head, just in case. I can't really remember what we did. I am scared.
Jacob is still in his dorm. The call to switch to online school came while we were on that stupid ass vacation so he had to stay. We went to retrieve him as soon as we got home and he wanted to stay. Begged to stay. He is 18. We let him. I wish we had forced him to leave. Now he has been there almost two weeks. I have no idea what he's been doing, where he's been going, who he's been seeing. If I bring him back now there is no telling what he will pass along to us. I am scared. We have had our issues but he is my child. I love him. I want him safe. I am scared.
I hope you all are doing well amid this uncertainty.
Don't be scared now.
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