Monday, August 25, 2008

The Post in Which I Complain About Something Totally Irrelevant

I like to keep a tidy house.

That was pretty easy to do when I had only one child who liked only one toy in which he contained to one room in a semi-order every day. Now I have two more children who do not share my love of tidiness. In fact, they detest tidiness. I know this because when I do try to pick up, I turn around and they've dug it all back out for me again.

So I've come to except the fact that my house will not be showcase clean as long as these kids are home with me all day. I am okay with that. Really.

My kitchen, on the other hand, is a whole other story.

I am a bit, how would you say?, anal about keeping the kitchen clean. I mean, we EAT there for goodness sake. I've seen too many of those kitchen cleaner commercials with the raw chicken smearing life-threatening germs all over some poor kids after school cookie. I MUST keep my kitchen clean or who knows what will become of us?

It was easy peasy at the other house with that faint green laminate countertop. I went through many a Clorox wipe there. Now we have granite. A blackish-greenish granite. After three weeks of scrubbing them with the old faithful wipe, I found out you aren't supposed to use the wipes on the granite. Or any kind of chemical cleaner for that matter. Oops.

In case you did not know, the way to clean counters is to use soap and water. First you wash the counter with the soapy rag. Then you go over it with a wet rag to rinse the soap off and then you use a dry rag to dry the wet off. If you're really good at it you can get that Karate Kid wash-on, wash-off thing going on at the same time. Of course, by then the kids have started college. Don't tell, but sometimes I just spray a little cleaner on it and go about my day. I mean, how in the world is hand soap getting my counters germ-free?

The husband, though, does not feel that my attempts at granite cleanliness are up to snuff, so when he is here, he spends way too much time scrubbing them until they shine.

And I thought I was anal.

Hey, dude, the bathrooms could use a scrubbing too. Do you know where they are?

Anyway, he likes the granite super shiny. I like it tidy.

This is NOT tidy!

OMG! We have lived in this house over two months. I didn't want to complain because he was helping, even if he was criticizing at the same time. But I cannot take the wet, dirty rags just lying all over the counter like that anymore. He scrubs his ass off and then leaves the evidence. WTH? I used to go behind him and toss the rag in the washer, a whole ten feet from kitchen, but I was then told to stop that because the rags can be reused. We can wash the counters again. With the same rag. Later in the day. Ewwwww.

And yes, I've tried turning him on to paper towels, but they just don't shine as well. And they cost money. And he likes the rags. And he paid a butt-load of money for this house he will clean it the right way.


So now in addition to the two wine glasses, four drinking glasses, and one coffee mug I have to deposit in the dishwasher every morning, I now have a scrungy rag I have to take care of too. Sometimes two.

Oh, crappy laminate countertops, how I miss you. And my Clorox wipes.


Aunt Becky said...

Hehehehe. I laugh but secretly I'm jealous that your husband lifts a rag at all. Mine never would. Ever.

Shane said...

I've never been fortunate enough to have granite. I'm thinking now, maybe that's a good thing. :)

Tracey said...

Whoa. You WASH your counters? Crazy things you people do...

I have such a hard time picturing your husband as he is the POLAR opposite of my husband in every single way.

I should email you a picture of my own counters. That'd make you cringe, though...

OneHungMan said...

It seems Andria and OneHung have very differing views on what defines "tidy."

Heidi said...

You really aren't suppose to use anything on granite? Who knew??? You are a tower of information!

Lynsey said...

I was devastated when we had our granite put in and the guy said "No cleansers maam. Just good ol' fashioned soap and water will do the trick." WTF? I hate using washcloths alone, yet wetting them all the time to wash the countertops? And then what do I do with the rag...if you let it sit there, it starts to smell. So then I chuck it in the laundry and have to take out another one! Oh the madness!!!
Sometimes I cheat and just pull out the windex and papertowels. I'm only human for gods sakes!

Miss Hope said...

Oh, my. This might just change my mind about ever having something called granite. Because I do believe I have stock in the Clorox wipes company. I buy those suckers in bulk.