So Much To Say....So Little Time

I wondered last night, in the middle of another insomnia episode, how I ever kept up with this blog. I remember posting at least four times a week. I look over at my side bar and I see I'm lucky to get four times a month now. Why is that? The third child? The bigger house? The four-trips-a-day trek to school? Have I just run out of things to write about? Bwaahhaaa. No. I have plenty to write about. I just have no time or real motivation to sit down and take an hour out of my day to churn it out. I hate to say it Blogger, but Facebook usually wins the computer wars around my lap-top these days. I mean, there is Bejeweled there. And Farkle. And no real need to find something interesting to say all the time. And if I'm not on Facebook, I'm on Twitter. I never really got Twitter, until, well, last week when many of the Guiding Light actors decided to play out their characters there. I'm still sad at 2:00, but it's better than nothing. And I know you're totally snickering about that, but I don't care, because now I know that Lizzie had a boy and Josh and Reva are still happy, so THERE.

I do have half posts all over my draft file, but until then, maybe some bullets about what's happening will suffice. You know, if I knew how to make my computer make bullets.

*Jacob is doing well in school. His teacher is awesome and she really motivates him to behave and learn. Only one demerit all year long. This from the kid who previously got at least one per day.

*The bullies seem to have slacked off some. I've only heard a couple complaints about them on the playground and the teacher quickly dealt with them. Of course now, he's being bullied by A PARENT. Yes, you read that right, a parent as in AN ADULT. If you've read me for a while you read about my dealings with Big Hummer Mama. Well, it's come to my attention, that although Big Hummer Mama (who shall now be known as Big Mercedes Mama)and her kid have not been in the same class since first grade, she has still felt the need to belittle and berate my child to pretty much every other Mama in that grade. This will be getting it's own post soon. It's been very hard to write because it just really pisses me off. I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this without likely being kicked out of school (at least this year because he is THRIVING) because Big Mercedes Mama is the rich Queen Bee who is keeping that school in new high school buildings and football fields.

*We were exposed to Swine Flu on Sunday. I'm a little pissed off about that too. Mom was already sick but Dad took the kids to the same birthday party we attended. Kids were sick the next day. They all seem to be doing allright, no complications, but how can I be sure it would be the same for my kids? This is the third day. Supposedly we'll get it by Friday if we're going to get it. I'll let you know. Loudly.

*Elizabeth sleeps in her crib. Since March. She's the only one of my kids to ever do so. Putting a clean sheet on the mattress is pretty hard. I guess I'm glad I haven't had to do it until now.

*The Fresh Beat Band really, really, really gets on my nerves. Can we just have one sing-dance-hip-hop-nerdy-cool teenager show? I want my Blue's Clues. And the old Noggin. I may seriously move to Disney Channel, Nickelodeon

*I am now 41 years old. This doesn't really bother me. But I am already freaked out about being 42 next year because I remember when my high school friend's mom got pregnant at 42 and we were all like, EWWWW.....she's 42!

*For my birthday, my husband bought me a new cell phone. It is capable of taking pictures and connecting to Facebook. But I can't use those things because that wold cost extra money. So I pretty much have a new phone that does nothing but take calls and it will probably take me until next year to figure it out. At which time he'll likely by me another one, because this is what he does. He did buy the watch I'd been wanting, but I had to pull the website up on the computer and get it out of the mailbox all after my birthday, but hey, I got the watch I wanted.

*I am not allowed to spend money until after October 15 because after paying all the recent medical bills we are broke, broke, broke. This will be okay, though, because someone in Minneapolis hacked my credit card account and charged themselves and ton of plane tickets and my card was cancelled. I won't get another one until, oh, October 15.

*Remember when I took Elizabeth to the ER? In total, not counting that $150 co-pay, we owe very close to a thousand bucks for that. And the doctor did nothing more than look at her, poke around on her belly, and then tell us to watch her for signs of internal bleeding. I fully intend to show that bill to our pediatrician when we go in for flu shots since she insisted when I called that day that she needed to be in the ER that there was nothing they could do for her at the office, but since she also works at that hospital I'm sure she knew the rule about not giving x-rays and cat scans to tiny children. Grrr...pissed. I am happy, though, that there was nothing wrong because if you'd seen that drawer jabbing in her belly you'd have freaked out too. It will have to be very, very serious for me to ever walk into the ER with any of my kids again. And that is so very sad, because one day we may need it and we won't be able to use it. We just can't afford it. Gawd. I hope we don't get the swine flu.

*My husband has not eaten a weekday meal with us for almost a year. Now it's been weeks since he's been here for bathtime and he misses a few bedtimes too. It's getting old.

*Laura died four years ago September 22 and I totally missed it. That's the first time I've missed it. It's really sad that we're getting used to it. Seems wrong.

*And just because it's cute:



It warms my heart to see how close those two are. I can't believe I was ever worried about it.

Sad

I was going to write a post about my hard and stressful life. How I have essentially become a single mom caring for three energetic children from sun-up until sun-down due to my husband's extremely long work hours. Oh, the boo-hoo fest.

But then I was reminded yesterday how precious and fleeting life is. Any life.

And to think I've been crying over a television show.

I may still write my boo-hoo fest sometime. It just didn't seem appropriate today. At least I am able to enjoy my children. Even if it isn't all enjoyment.

So Long Springfield

I know you'll all think I'm a bit loony when I tell you that I've spent the better part of September in mourning. No, no one has passed. No one is ill. My husband isn't leaving me yet. I am in mourning for Guiding Light. Guiding Light the television show. . If you happen to see me around 3:00 each weekday afternoon, you'll probably find me crying. Over a television show.

See, CBS has decided it's in their best interest to cancel the show I have adored for over thirty years to replace it with a remake of Let's Make a Deal. Hey, I LOVE Let's Make a Deal too, but on Game Show Network with Monty Hall and all that retro 70's stuff, not at 2:00 in place of The Lewises, Spauldings, and Coopers.

I started watching Guiding Light around 1981, I was in the sixth grade I think. Don't try to do the math it will hurt you. And scare you. For my 41st birthday, I'm having my favorite show cancelled. Good times. Anyway, I spent many nights that summer with a friend who along with her mother were addicted to the show. Having no other option, but to sit and watch with them, I began liking the show as well. The first story line I saw was two high school couples going to the prom, and being 12ish and just beginning to like boys and school dances just on my horizon, I was hooked. Oh, Phillip....how I loved you.

For the longest time, I was going to name my children Hart and India because I'd heard them on the show. Can you imagine?

My grandmother lived with us at that time and I was never home when she was watching her show of choice, Days of Our Lives, but I made it home just in time every day to see Guiding Light. She started watching it with me. My mom laughed at us. Eventually, though, she watched it too. My Granny died in 1982. I was out of school for a week watching it by myself.

We moved to West Virginia in 1984. We left everything and everyone behind. For a month I knew no one, but Reva and Josh kept me company until some future friends knocked on my door.

I frequently skipped my last period class to sit in my boyfriend's basement to watch the show. He thought we were going there to make out before his mom got home. HA. Got that boyfriend hooked on it too. When we reconnected as friends five years later, we did it over show recaps over the phone.

I never scheduled a college course at 3:00. On Fridays, I'd watch before beginning another drunken weekend. My roommate would always sit and watch while waiting for me. She died in 1999 right before I got married. I hadn't talked to her in a few years. I wonder if she was still watching.

When I taught, I'd get home just in time to catch the last half hour. Those last six months I worked, I'd come home and head straight to the recliner with my hand on my belly the entire time. My son seemed to like it too.

Maybe he missed it when he spent a month in the NICU. I didn't though, because watching it every day before I made the second drive of the day for the evening shift of force-feeding/staring in awe/professing all my love to my pitiful looking newborn, helped me through the longest time of my life.

For the past eightish years, Guiding Light has seen me through colic, teething, defiance, the terrible twos and threes and fours, sleepless nights (thank you, Tivo), a nasty neighborhood, and MIL visits. I was watching when they called about my mom's heart attack and I was glued to the screen while I was left alone in that waiting room while she had her surgery.

I don't know what I'll do every day without my Springfield family. I'm so very sad. Over a television show.

I still look for my childhood friend on Facebook now and then and wonder if she still watches. Watched. I'd like to thank her for introducing me to my favorite daily weekly pleasure.

I don't know how what I'd have done without it.

*sigh*

What do you think?



The perfect Christmas card?

Today Should Really be the First Day of School

So Jacob starts his fourth week of school today while Adam starts his second. I still feel like I was cheated out of half of my summer, but what can you do?

Jacob seems to be really enjoying the third grade (just typing third grade hurts my heart, HOW is he in third grade?) His first weekly report was so positive with phrases like, "I love him already" and "He's such a good listener" and even "eager to learn" that I had to look up at the name on it three times to make sure he brought the right one home. Eighteen days of school and no demerits. He's like a new child. He still sees his bullies on the playground and they've recruited some new blood, but he's learning how to ignore them and it's kind of helping. He doesn't seem to be too put out about it. Yet. His urge to be homeschooled was squashed completely when his teacher broke out the science experiments and daily art lesson.

Adam didn't even want me to walk him into his classroom the second day. He's a big school boy now he tells me, he doesn't need his mama to walk him inside. Aside from the huge hole he drilled in my heart with that, I'm glad he likes it. I was sure he'd be lost without Elizabeth but I think they are both enjoying a little individuality for those three hours/three days a week. I explained to him last Thursday that his school week ended then and he wouldn't be going to school on Friday. He didn't like that. When I picked him up seems my good boy Adam got himself into a heap of time-outs. He was even pretty proud of himself for being the only kid to ever be in time-out. I was dumbfounded. My well-behaved boy had apparently sprouted horns over night and splashed others, threw trucks, and generally didn't follow many directions that day. After some discussion I found out that cute little boy thought Thursday was not only his last day of the school week, but his last day EVER. Because bible school was only one week, he guessed preschool was only one week too. And because he didn't want to let an opportunity pass him by, he figured he'd have as much fun as he possibly could because what's a little time-out if you're never going to see those teachers again.

*sigh*

I finally get one straightened out and now I have to start all over again.

Elizabeth was really lonely at first, but I think she's easing into her new morning normal.



Of course the morning walk/picnic always helps too.

I miss my boys, especially Adam since having him in school is so new, but I'd forgotten what it was like to have only one little one around. It's kinda nice.

We might even be able to play Mario Kart now.

But He's Just a BABY!

My sweet little brown-eyed baby boy started preschool today.

I thought I'd cry, but I didn't. Poor middle child, he doesn't even get my Hallmark tears. I think I've just always known that Adam would thrive in school. He's a social butterfly and he just gets others in a way that Jacob never could. I'm sad he's going to be away from home three mornings a week, but I just know this will be a good experience for him. He's ready for it.

Of course, when I asked him about his day he said there was a kid in an orange shirt that wasn't nice to him so he was planning to "kick his butt" and his teacher's name is apparently Mrs. Puff. So......we're going to lay off the Spongebob this afternoon and review optional tactics for dealing with meanies.