Monday, February 14, 2011

Why?

Why are kids so fucking mean?

I thought things were going better since I went up to that wretched school and demanded he not be bullied. Oh, he isn't bullied so much anymore. Well, in the let-me-shove-your-face-in-the-dirt kinda way. Oh no. They've just decided that Jacob can be no where near them at any time so now he's the kid who sits alone with the random straw paper thrown at him. In front of his mother no less.

The very saddest thing about this is that he thinks this is all a-ok. He thinks its great actually.

I. Do not.

Jacob befriended a new kid who showed up the last day of school before Christmas break. A very fat, not too smart, trip-over-his-own-feet kinda kid. The rest of the class had nothing to do with him so Jacob bent over backward to make this kid feel welcome. For the past few weeks things have been hunky-dorey with said kid until last Thursday when Jacob climbs all innocently into the backseat to tell me that Kid told him he didn't want to talk to him at school because the other kids told him they'd make fun of him if they did and guess who's sitting with the popular kids now? Jacob? Was okay with that. He has absolutely no idea how to be treated right that he has no idea he's being treated wrong.

When I went in this afternoon to fetch him from after-school care (which, long story, he shouldn't have been there) Kid and his new side-kicks were sitting in a pack at a long table shooing Jacob even farther, farther, no a little farther away all while my 178 IQ kid just nodded and grinned stupidly thinking this is what all friends do. In fact, he stated as much. Not one child would meet my gaze when I inquired just what in samhill was going on there. Even when he got up and said good-bye to each and everyone of them they all looked away. They wouldn't even respond to me. Little bastards.

Needless to say we had a long discussion again about reading social skills until finally I just had to tell him. THEY. WERE. BEING. MEAN. PERIOD. He still thinks Kid will be his friend tomorrow. I am still beating my head on the granite.

Christian school = Christian behavior. At least that's what it says on the website.

NOT.

Fucking not.

I really want to take him out of that school but I am so, so, so, so afraid it will be so, so, so, so worse in a new place. I just don't know what to fucking do. God I wish my kid was normal. Just a little bit. I wish he had one iota of a social skill so he wouldn't be treated like this. Why does God not help him? Why does God continue to allow him to be treated that way? Does He want him to commit suicide one day? Does he want him to learn THAT way of treating others? I am so damn confused and conflicted I don't even know what to believe anymore. I understand how adults can be put through trials, but children? Why the hell is that good?

Six years. Still not getting better. I want some answers.

4 comments:

mumubjt said...

I'm going to give an honest attempt at responding to this post. I only hope and pray it all comes out right.

Your definition of normal and Jacob's is different. He is one of the blessed people that will see the good in others no matter how they treat him or act. You bet your butt it's frustrating because being a bully should equal an ass whooping of high magnitude.

I find myself at the end of my rope all the time because of my son's lack of social skills. I just want him to get along with others instead of trying to be the boss all the time. I feel like someone is throwing a ball at my head ...and making contact 98% of the time when it comes to trying to teach him.

I have to believe, for my sake, that God has wonderful things in store for my son. And yours, too. What they are struggling with now is building them to be amazing adults. It's like walking through fire to get to the other side. Other side of what, I have no clue, but I sure hope it's wonderful.

Maybe it's time to send an editorial to the local newspaper about the rampant bullying at this Christian school and the lack of attention to such a horrible thing? Just an idea. There is a solution in all of this, but we're all too mad at how J is being treated to see it. It's there and we're going to find it.

Miss Hope said...

Crud...I didn't realize my daughter was signed in. Above comment was NOT written by a 12 year old. It's all mine. Promise!

Sadie said...

I wish I had the first clue of a way to help you, or advise you, or anything. All I can say is that if there IS anyway I can help, I will help. Know that I'm out here hating bullyi, and praying for Jacob, and believing that he is an amazing, brilliant kid and other people will someday see that.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I don't know what to tell you, Andria. Nobody really does. There is something evil within all of us and sometimes it is so rampant in children. They look for some way to protect themselves against the crowd and that tends to be abandoning those who are kind to them for the "protection" that the cool kids will give them.

I've found that having friends outside of school and of different ages is what helps most. The social pressure to follow the crowd isn't there. Maybe get Jacob into a one on one kind of group with kids from a different neighborhood? Having someone else (beside Mom!) in his corner will help as he gets older. Justin's best friends now are 14, 13, and 11. Not a single kid his own age. It's just right for him.