Sunday, February 06, 2011


I hate Sunday.

I dread it all week long and not because it's the end of the weekend, no. In fact, I am a pretty big fan of Monday. It's my favorite day of the week.

I hate Sunday because it's church day.

I quit going to "our" church many years ago. I don't like it there. I like church allright, but just not this one. I left high school 23 years ago. I don't want to do it again on my weekend. My husband, though, goes every. single. week. You'd think that would be a good thing, but no. It's not.

I don't know what it is, but on Sundays my husband becomes very nasty and mean. He wakes up screaming and goes down screaming every. single. week. That is, if he even speaks to any of us at all that day. The days my husband hates his life are always on a Sunday. Right after services.

Now, I thought maybe he was being pissy because I wasn't going to church with him so I got dressed one Sunday and was happy to try it again and he told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't want me there. Another Sunday argument ensued and I haven't attempted that again. Once bitten, twice shy I think they say.

Isn't church supposed to make you more at peace? Godly? If anything, my husband comes home a demon. I wouldn't call his actions at all Christian. Why do you suppose that is?

This has been going on for yyyeeeaaarrrss. It does not change. Ever.

The only thing now, is that he drags the kids into it. He insists they go with him yet *I* am the one responsible for getting them ready. I know I should make him do it, and I have in the past, but trust me when I say he's even worse if I don't. So this morning I dress Elizabeth and he comes stomping out bitching because she doesn't have a bow in her hair. Elizabeth has no hair...remember? In fact, it's even worse because she gave herself a small trim at Christmas so what grew back is no longer there. A bow will not stay in her hair. Period. He knows this, but it's Sunday and he has to prove it. He barked at me to find a bow. I didn't budge. He stomped up to her room mumbling the whole time about how fucking lazy I am and came back with a ten dollar yellow bow that in no way matched the pinkness in which she was decked out. I removed it. He threw a fit worthy of the rottenest two year old and stomped out of the house screaming how she would NOT go to church with him with her ugly hair like that, no way, no how, and I am a complete dumb-ass and slammed the door.

Now. The thing with my husband is that you never, ever know when to believe him. Super Nanny would have a field day with him because he rarely follows through with a threat. I guess I should've realized that before I started taking her fancy clothes off, but damn, I was pissed. I just wanted that behind us. So about a minute later he comes crashing back in and sees me undressing the girl and the shit hit the fan. Mr. Christian threw some shit and slammed some doors and refused to take any of the kids with him. The boys just stood there not knowing what the hell happened. And now he's gone. I know he's in that church schmoozing with the other fake Christians pretending he's the most wonderful person. He's probably praising Jesus with his hands in the air and hugging the congregants with a hearty "God Bless You" and we'll be punished for that when it's all over this afternoon.

Why the hell does he do this?

The past month he has been pretty pleasant. When he was here. He spent a week in Vail and a week in Louisiana, but between those times we were happy. We had fun even. He actually seemed to enjoy being with us. I started sleeping without medication again. It was nice. Why did I not realize he was decent because he hadn't been to church in a solid month? Why is he NOT decent when he goes to church? What the damn bloody hell is that about?

I work at a church. I teach at a Christian preschool. I pray with my kids and teach them about Jesus and come home at peace about that most days. In fact, it has helped me become more tolerant and calm with my own kids. Most days. I mean, isn't that what church is SUPPOSED to do for you?

Why does my husband hate us every Sunday?

I hate Sunday.


Bethgo said...

This post is horrifying. What the heck is his problem?

I am trying to pick my jaw up off the floor after reading this post.
Have you been living like this the whole time?

His behavior is unacceptable. I'm sure you know that.
I'm really very sorry you are having to put up with this.

You and your kids deserve so much better.

I'm sorry but there is no other word for this but UNACCEPTABLE.

This isn't about Sundays but about a person who needs to appreciate his wife and treat his family better.
What he is doing is abuse.

Crazed Nitwit said...

I don't even know what to say.......except I come home after church calmer. What's up with him? I don't think I could allow this kind of behavior around my kids. He sounds possessed in way.

Hugs and I sincerely wish I could be helpful to you in some way.

sherrypg said...

He does it because he can. My husband used to be a big dick about stuff and finally got too tired of it and got "all up in his grill". You need to have a long talk with him about how what he is doing is not acceptable. You might even call his minister and set up a meeting with all three of you.

Or? Do I need to come down there and have a come to Jesus meeting with him my own bad self?

Fran said...

This is one of the most horrifyingly brave posts I have ever read. You are putting it all out there! I don't think you will get any comments that don't basically say, you can't let this go on any longer. You found the strength to tell us, now you must find the strength to tell him. Know that we are standing with you. Enlist help if you need it. I sincerely hope for you!!

Jana said...

Oh, girl, I can't say anything the other commenters haven't already, but....damn. What the hell is his problem?

Is he going to church and seeing all those "perfect" families and then coming home all upset that you guys aren't that perfect? Does he not realize that most of the people there are putting on a show as well? Their families are no more "perfect" than yours.

I actually feel kinda (just kinda) bad for him because he doesn't know that he's on the cusp of losing the four best things that have ever happened to him.

Big hugs from The Land of Fruit.

Sadie said...

Oh, Andria. This post makes me so sad. You do not deserve that at all.

I don't know what else to say, it makes me so angry. If there is ever ANYTHING I can do, please do not even hesitate a second to let me know.

kristi said...

Oh hellz to the no. I would set him straight. He is not setting a good example for the kids, not cool at all.

I would like to open a can of whoop ass on him.