Humbug!

Ya know what? It's my blog and I'll complain if I want to.

I cannot dig myself out of this funk. I am just not loving Christmas this year. I'm just too tired for Christmas. Maybe I could handle all the rude people if I just weren't so damn sleepy. Why are all the people so nasty this time of year? What's up with that? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of jolly factor going on in December? Maybe it's the weather. Maybe trotting around in a thick Christmas sweater when it's eighty degrees out makes some very cranky. I think ditching the sweater might be helpful, but hey, that's just me.

I am going to bitch some more now. Feel free to mark me as read if you don't want to hear about it. Oh, and there may be swearing.

Tuesday is Little Gym day. I love Tuesday. Donuts, Little Gym, and grocery shopping....my favorite things. Tuesday hasn't been fun today. First of all, some nasty lady at the donut shop kept pushing my kid out of his chair in her attempt to make more room for her big self. She made my kid cry then chewed him out in Spanish over it. Apparently she wanted me to do something about it because she then proceeded to chew me out in Spanish when my donut dudes politely told her we were there first. Yeah, don't screw with us lady. We have connections.

I figured things would go better at LG until two new ladies appeared with their very unsocial children. Adam was thrilled to have new kids to play with and tried his darnedest to include them but they would have no part in it. Okay. Whatever. He took the hint. What yanked my damn chain was when one heavily made up, prissy ass woman asked the teacher to please keep "that wild boy" away from her sweet little princess because he was just making her "too nervous to think". Uh, WTF? My kid was running. And playing. AT THE FUCKING GYM! When the teacher lined them all up to do an activity and my two year old cut in front of the little princess because she wouldn't move her pink ass for everyone else to participate, Perfume Bitch grabbed my kid by the arm and told him to wait his turn. Uh, WTF? I took Adam out of the room, timed him out for two minutes because, yeah, he cut in line and timed myself out as well because had I stayed there, I might have pulled all Crabby's bleached blond grays right out of her head. Now I don't like being confrontational; that's why I got married, I leave that to the husband, but I don't like paying that much money to be treated that way by anyone so I went back in, let Perfume Bitch know that I had taken care of the situation and our conversation went something like this:

"Yo, Bitch, keep your skanky hands off my kid"
Me: I'm sorry Adam moved ahead of the line. He's just excited to have more children to play with today."
Bitch: "Well, he's scaring my daughter. He's not very nice and he plays too rough."
Me: "Actually he's a very nice boy. He's been trying to play and include your child and show her how things are done. LG is a time for the kids to run, jump, and roll, and if that comes off as rough, then maybe this isn't the right place for you and your daughter."
Bitch: Blank Stare. Eye Roll. Whispered scowls to equally bitchy friend.

Yeah, bubble time didn't go well after that.

I hate bitches.

But it had to get better. I was going to the supermarket. I lurve the supermarket. Especially my new, fancy supermarket with the new,ultra awesome customer with child-right up front parking spaces. Of course, they would be even nicer if actual customers with children were able to park in them. They were full when we arrived. Okay. I'm fine with that, We can walk. What pissed me off was the dude with his case of Bus*ch and no kids, the fifty something women with no kids, and the employee, yes, with no kids that I encountered leaving or entering those prime spaces on our long walk to the door. Since I had such good practice in the confrontational arena earlier, I figured what the heck and to every one of those parking space abusers I said:

"Wow, you have the most beautiful child I've ever seen, you must be so proud."

Blank stares all around except for the Bus*ch dude who used his possible drunk noodle to come up with: "I don't have any kids!" Really?! Geez.

So instead of knocking off more of my Christmas list this afternoon, I'm staying home and avoiding all that holiday cheer. I'm thinking that mean boy and I can enjoy the hot weather in the kiddie pool while eating popsicles and singing Christmas tunes.



Yep. He is such a mean, rough little boy. What will I do?

Bah!

I'm sure you've heard that old parental saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

That's why I haven't said much lately. I just don't have anything nice to say.

I am tired.

I am up to my eyeballs in errands and chores and chaffeuring and Christmas shopping so much I can't even think straight.

I get no sleep. The baby is up every night at 10, midnight, three, and six and now she has another cold so there isn't much sleeping between those hours either. The husband likes to tell everyone how tired he is, too, but I can't see how he can be too tired since he's been sleeping in Elizabeth's room alone for at least eight hours a night for the past six months. I have nothing nice to say about that so I won't say anything at all.

I do remember your request to know more about my pre-child life. I've tried to do it, but I don't even know where to start. I can't even remember my pre-child days. What did I like? What did I do? Who was I? I swear, it seems like I've been a mom forever, like I never really had a life until I was one. I don't want to leave you hanging so here's what I've got so far:


I was born.
I was a kid.
I moved.
I went to high school.
I went to college.
I got a job.
I met a guy.
I moved.
I got married.
I moved.
I got a job.
I had a kid.
I had another kid.
And yet another kid.

Not what you had in mind was it?

Maybe one day I'll get that together.

You think Santa can bring naps for Christmas?

I Am Not Old After All!

I went to a high school college fair last night.

I dressed in gold and blue and handed out pretty booklets about West Virginia University. I told goth girls and long-haired boys all about the array of majors offered. I described the scholarship opportunities for out-of-state students. I talked endlessly about the medical school because every. single. kid was going for pre-med. I dodged the number one party school questions, although I was probably most knowledgeable in that area.

The one question I got the most, though, was "Does WVU have a football team?

Ha. Ha. You teenagers!! Ya'll are so, so funny.

At least I didn't get a whole lot of "Did you know Michael Vick and did he have dogs?" questions my new friends at the Virginia Tech table were fielding.

Honestly. I met maybe ten serious students the entire evening. Apparently the kids got extra credit based on the number of pamphets they could produce today. Pamphlets that are now lying in a chewing gum lined garbage can in some smart teacher's classroom right now. Those books cost money people! If we spend all our money on recruiting paraphenalia how in hell are we supposed to boost our athletic department? Geez.

It was a lot of fun though. I spent three hours with other adults while my husband sat on his ass watching movies while ignoring my kids (FYI, dude, the six year old talks)

The best part was when I entered the "hospitality room" to scarf down enjoy my free catered dinner and I was stopped by a teacher who informed me that students weren't allowed inside. I thought she wanted me to help her turn the kids away, but she was trying to turn me away! She thought I was a student!

It was the best. night. evah.

Yes, I am Pissed

I thought I could let it die, thought I could make it without having to bitch about it, but I can't. I just can't.

The Mountaineers suck.

What in hell was going on out on that football field?

Is it the blindingly yellow, butt-ugly uniforms screwing with ya'll?

Seriously. You needed some help dudes.

Man, I would have gone to that Sugar Bowl. I would've listened to that game on the radio in the parking lot of the Super Dome if I couldn't have scored some tickets. Just the mere thought of being at a Mountaineer game, even just a tailgate, for the first time in eight years was exciting. New Orleans is a six hour drive from here. Completely doable, even with all these kids. Arizona, on the other hand, is not.

Oh, and a National championship would've been kind of nice, too.

What I saw on Saturday was excruciating. Horrible. I can't even find words to describe how messed up that was. Those boys made Pitt look good. And Pitt sucks!

I swear this is more proof to substantiate my claim that the BCS is all a sham and the players and teams are paid off to take dives to assure the big teams end up at the big games.

Either that or the entire team was high.

Pat White should win the Heisman Trophy because obviously he is the team. Oh, it was just all so ugly.

Don't even get me started on Missouri.

Can They Move Christmas to March?

Can Christmas be cancelled?

I'm just not in the mood for it this year.

I am usually very eager to begin the yuletide season, but, damn, I'm still cleaning up from Halloween. Seriously. The costumes are still draped across the upstairs banister and my middle child is sitting on the floor in the pantry eating out of his trick-or-treat bucket as I type. Can we just pretend it's Halloween a while longer? And I don't even like Halloween.

Usually, I'd be wrapping and baking and listening to Christmas carols by now, but I haven't even made a small dent in the Christmas list. I don't even know where to start. I hate going out this time of year. When I went out on Friday, I was smoked on, yelled at, flipped off, and shoved just trying to get some holiday jammies at the Old N*vy. Who says everyone's just a little nicer this time of year?

I might be a little more motivated, too, if I didn't have to listen to the husband scrutinize every single dime that's spent. My husband, he is Ebenezer Scrooge himself. He has decreed that he shall not be buying a gift for me because he does not have the time to shop and we don't have the money to spend and why should the two of us give in to the Hallmarkness of the holiday and just spend money to be spending money?? Awww, he's so romantic like that.

There's no time to string the lights outside. The tree will stay in it's box until at least Sunday. The weather's too warm, I'll be getting no Sugar Bowl tickets, and I just found out that we've been delegated to a motel for the Christmas holidays so there will be room for my sister's family, who refused to come unless they could "spread out". Bah. Humbug.

How does Santa stay so jolly? I need a little of whatever has been prescribed for him.

I Did It!

It's the last day of November!

I can't believe I posted every. single. day.

It was fun, but I'll be glad to go back to my regular programming. I actually feel like I'm missing everyone because with the every day post takes up a bit of my blog-reading time and I know I haven't been commenting as much as I should be. Things will be different in December, I promise.

Of course, December brings Christmas which I am so not ready for. I usually have all of my shopping done by this point and I'm not even half way done this year. Gift cards are looking better and better to me. Can we just skip it this year? I'm just not in the jolly yule mood. Maybe it's the eighty degree weather down here or the three kids running me ragged, but I'm just not looking forward to it. Sad, huh?

Anyway, can you remember when Elizabeth was a mushy, pink lump?



What happened to my floppy-headed doll?

She was replaced by this pretty girl, that's what!



In just a week's time she's grown a tooth, learned to sit, learned to pull herself up to sit, and is attempting to trade scooting for crawling. I can't imagine what she'll attempt next week.

All I Want For Christmas Are Some Sugar Bowl Tickets

I have always been an Arkansas fan, but I have never loved the Razorbacks more than I did last Friday. In case you were stuck in a hole, or don't follow the BCS as closely as I do, unranked Arkansas beat number 1 LSU thereby ending all championship hopes for the Tigers. I am always a sucker for the underdog, but that loss, along with the Kansas loss, shot West Virginia right on up to number two in the rankings. If the Mountaineers don't shoot themselves in the ass with penalties and turnovers on Saturday against our archrival Pitt, then they're heading to New Orleans for the National Championship game.



I have been online for two days trying to secure some tickets and can you believe they're already sold out? A bowl bid hasn't even been extended and the tickets are already gone. Sucks. I'm sure hoping Santa has a few tricks up his sleeve because it would sure be a shame to have to sit out in the parking lot in the cold in January with three little children.

Tapped Out Today

I don't feel much like writing today so to keep up with NaBloPoMo, a picture post.



Thanksgiving wasn't all bad I guess.

I Need A Drink After This One

Well, I had an interesting afternoon.

This morning at the donut shop, I happened to look at Elizabeth and notice a strange rash on her forehead. It wasn't really red, it wasn't raised, it was just a bunch of little purpley pinhead dots that went down her neck and onto her shoulders. My donut dudes suspected dermatitis and I figured, well, she did sleep on clean sheets last night, maybe I accidentally washed them in the fragranced detergent and went on to Little Gym as usual. After loads of fun at the LG, the kids and I took a stroll through the mall and while waiting on Santa again (I couldn't deny my middle child another crack at Ho Ho), I noticed the rash again. It seemed a little more purpley and there seemed to be more behind her ears. Hmmm, time to head home to Dr. Google. Dr. Google's diagnosis: It is urgent that your child be seen by a doctor since the purpley rash didn't blanch white when pressed so your child most certainly has meningitis and likely infected everyone she came in contact with, even poor, poor Santa. I almost passed out then and there.

So, I try to remain calm and dial the pediatrician's office and let them know I have just a teeny concern and they were all like, come in right now, can you be here in ten minutes? That made me vomit in my mouth just a little. I honestly do not remember driving to that office. I couldn't tell you which road I choose to get there. I just remember getting there and seeing our pediatrician, not a nurse, waiting for us outside the door. Surely she was just being friendly I kept telling myself. New policy or something. She didn't seem concerned or anything. I think she was smiling. Yeah, she's just happy to see us. Yeah, that's it. So she takes us to a room, takes Elizabeth and looks her over, pokes at her, asks a bunch of questions and tells me, yep, those are petechiae and she'll be drawing blood to check her platelet count and can two med students come look at her because we don't see those very often.

Damn, that can't be good.

It took all of seven minutes for her to prick my baby's finger and come back with the results and temporary diagnosis. Her platelet count is fine, good in fact, and she guesses the petechiae are from an extended crying fit she had as a result of having to spend one hour with my husband. In those seven minutes I imagined my baby being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and all that might come with that. Those seven minutes almost killed me. I couldn't even imagine what happens all the time to "somebody else". I thought of my sister and I probably felt only a fraction in seven minutes of what she felt for nine years, probably still feels. I cried with relief when that good doctor told me she thought my baby was fine. I cried in the car on the way home. I cried when I picked up my son. I cried when I looked in the rearview mirror at my three healthy children because I am so, so grateful that they are healthy and ornery and full of life and that, for now, I don't have to live those seven minutes, that I am not "somebody else" today.

If you happen to be "somebody else", just now that you are being prayed for today.

Scenes From Our Thanksgiving Day

The most wonderful time of the year.....




I think not.

NaBloPoMo Meme Number Three

SILLY MEME

1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Can I drive Jacob to school without brushing my hair?

2.How much cash do you have on you? none

.3.What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? floor

4.Do you label yourself? no

5.Bright or Dark Room? Depends, I like sunlight and refuse to turn the lights on during the day unless it is storming. My husband keeps all the rooms like airport runways after dark and I absolutely hate it, I prefer it at least a little less bright.

6.Why is there always a missing question?I don't get that....should I?

7.What does your watch look like? I have tons of watches. My favorite is a Mary Poppins watch I bought with my first real pay check, but it hasn't worked in some time, but my husband bought me a nice silver armitron watch at Kohls. It's nice, but I wear gold.

8.What were you doing at midnight last night? Nursing a baby, I'm sure.

9.Where is your nearest 7-11? We don't have 7 - 11 here.

10.What’s a word that you say a lot? shit

11.Who told you he/she loved you last? Jacob

12.Last furry thing you touched? Phoebe as she was curled up in bed with me

13.How many rolls of film do you need developed?I haven't used a film camera since I got the nice digital last year, but I did find an old disposable camera of Lauras when we were at the lake that I finished off and I need to have it developed, when I will ever get around to that is beyond me.

14.Favorite age you have been so far? 7

15.Your worst enemy? My neighbors. Horrible, horrible people

16.What is your current desktop picture? The boys in the bluebonnets last year.

17.What was the last thing you said to someone? Take your dirty clothes to the laundry room.

18.The last song you listened to? Just Like Heaven by The Cure

19.What time of day were you born? 12:36 pm

20.What do you do when vending machines steal your money? If I am at a place where someone is working I complain to them and get my money back.

21.Do you consider yourself kind?Yes, most of the time.

22.What’s your life motto? Leave my Elevator Alone.

23.Name three things you have on you at all times. Three pairs of diamond earrings.

24.Can you change the oil on a car? nope

25.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? My college roommate died in 1999. Her mother and I have written letters back and forth about once a month since she wrote to tell me of her death back then.

NaBloPoMo Meme Number Two

More meme thievery....

5 Things found in my room

three baby books

a sewing machine

lots and lots of Legos

5 things I’ve always wanted to do:

Parasail

Be on Oprah's Favorite Things Show (not greedy much)

Build a new home

Go to culinary school

Travel in an RV to Yellowstone


5 things found in my bag

my mini camera/video recorder

a bottle of bubbles

two diapers

two pacifiers

four tubes of lipstick

5 things in my wallet

Driver’s license

a gift card to Origins

a raincheck for a three pound bag of lemons

a charge card

a spare car key


5 things I’m currently “in to”

WebKinz

Homemade Gourmet

Hiding veggies in my kids food

Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, and Chuck

Lemon Zinger tea

NaBloPoMo Meme Number One

I think I stole this one from OneHung forever ago.

1. Do you still have tonsils? – yes
2. Would you bungee jump? – no way
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? – I would sit back and earn money doing absolutely nothing.
4. How many tattoos do you have? – None, but I do intend to get one some day.
5. Your favorite fictional animal? – Snuffleupagus
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? – Will Farrell
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? – I used to be extremely organized, but that's one trait I lost upon having the second child.
8. Any Addictions? – Soda
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? - Headline News
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? – Carnival
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? – a teacher
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? – I don't think I've seen any movies this year.
13. Favorite alcoholic drink – Blue Moon beer
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? – Put my glasses on.
15. Siblings? – I have one sister. The last time I spoke to her was in July. Not because of a riff, just because she never answers the phone.
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? – Yes. We've been to marriage counseling and it was extrememly helpful. If it weren't for the therapy lady I would be a single mother with only one child.
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? – The ability to make money hand over fist without lifting a finger.
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? – Not anymore.
20. Have you ever gone camping? – Yes. Didn't care for it much.
21. Gas prices! First thought? – Stay home.
22. Your favorite cartoon character? – The Jetsons
23. What was your first car? – 1986 Toyota Corolla. Slammed it into a hill, I did.
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? – no, but I do think it isn't for everyone.
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? – The Simpsons
26. Do you go to church? – I should.
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? – Paula Deen
28. What errand/chore do you despise? – Cleaning the bathrooms
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? – When will I ever sleep again?
30. Last time you puked from drinking? – My birthday
31. What is your heritage? – Hell if I know.
32. Favorite flower? – crocuses
33. Disney or Warner Bros? – Disney
34. What is your best childhood memory? – Going to the candy store, aka the gas station, with my dad every Sunday afternoon
35. Your favorite potato chip? – Cheetos. Do they count?
36. What is your favorite candy? – Lemonheads
37. Do you burn or tan? – I have red hair and freckles. Do the math.
38. Astrological sign? – Virgo
39. Do you own a gun? – Well, my dad bought one for me when I lived alone, but I have no idea what became of it. That's probably not good huh?
40. What do you think of hot dogs? – Hebrew National are the only ones worth eating.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Through the Woods We Go

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday I think.

I love Christmas, but there's so much work involved. The shopping, the decorating, the wrapping and unwrapping. Thanksgiving is great because there is nothing more than eating, being grateful, and parades. What's better than that?

We'll be leaving tonight to spend Thanksgiving at the lake with my parents. My mom has all the groceries ready for me to cook the meal early tomorrow. I love to cook, so I am looking forward to it. The weatherman says a cold front is coming so we might even be able to trade our shorts and tees for sweaters and jeans and I am looking forward to that also.

There's no such thing as high speed internet up that way, so I'll be leaving you with a variety of stolen, prewritten memes to get me through the holiday NaBloPoMo. I apologize in advance.





And for them, I am grateful.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

We saw Santa yesterday!

Yes, I realize it isn't even Thanksgiving, but have you seen the lines for Santa at our mall in December? Seeing Santa before we put up the tree is now our new tradition and apparently it's becoming everyone else's tradition as well because we still waited in line. On a Monday afternoon. I shudder to even think how busy old Santa will be this weekend.

Poor old Santa had his lap full this year. Adam was able to ask for his own toys this time (a truck in case you were wondering), Jacob taught Santa all about WebKinz and didn't ask for anything Thomas for the first time ever and I think I heard Elizabeth ask for a pair of shoes.

So now that Santa knows what everyone wants, he needs to get off his ass and start shopping.

Seven Months

Elizabeth is seven months old today.

She apparently didn't want to miss a minute of her big day because she woke up at five a.m. ready to celebrate.

She also sprouted a brand new, very first tooth for the occasion.




Seven months old!

Shouldn't she be sleeping through the night by now?

Six Things About Me

Mommy Daisy tagged me for a Six Things About Me Meme. I know you are dying to know six more things about me so here goes:

1. I get along better with men than women. When I was in college I lived in a coed dorm for three years on the same floor with most of the same people. Most of those people were guys. They were easy to get along with, they watched out for me like a sister, and the lack of catty games was heavenly. I lived in an all girl dorm my first year and it was like night and day. I'd have disagreements with the guys and we'd argue tooth and nail, but we'd still be friends the next day. That never happened at the girl dorm.

2. I am a Pi Beta Phi (secret handshake to anyone else out there). I was, and still am, definitely not the sorority type, but I was a bit of a follower freshman year and my dad thought a sorority might help me get adjusted to school and look good to interviewers so I stuck with it. I pretty much went to the mixers and hung with the frat guys, but not in the same way the other girls did, I was always the little sister, drinking buddy, does-she-like-me go between and that was a-ok with me.

3. I love Alton Brown. You know, the dude on Food Network from Good Eats and Iron Chef and Feasting on Asphalt. He got me through many a colicky night. I secretly hope I run into him at restaurants around town and we can sit down and have some drinks and shoot the shit. The fact that we have both eaten at Mulates in New Orleans is some sort of degree of separation and we're practically friends now, right?

4. I have a serious addiction to WebKinz. Yeah, I like to think I'm doing it for my kid, but the games at the arcade call me like whiskey to an alcoholic. The good news is that my kid has tons of kinzcash all the time.

5. I have really, really bad eyesight. Even the Lasik doctor was impressed with my level of near-sightedness and since he's been performing that surgery for many years now, it must be pretty bad. Without my glasses, I can only see colors in front of me. I cannot wait for the Lasik.

6. I love cheesy movies. If it's up for an Academy Award, I probably won't like it. I can usually find all my faves in the five dollar bin at Wal-mart. If it has Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler in it, I own it. And FYI: I got the name Jacob from the movie Richer or Poorer and Adam from Blast From the Past. Virtual kudos to anyone who even knows who was in the movie Richer or Poorer.

More Milk Please Mommy

Adam said a sentence yesterday.

Well, more like a phrase, but still, four words strung together to ask for something.

Hallelujah!

He's been receiving an hour of speech therapy once a week since July. In July he could say only five words: mama, dada, sister, cat, and choo-choo. Now, he's saying so many new words each day I can't even keep up. I've even had to tone down my traffic rants after he started calling all the trucks asses.

But at almost three years old he should be speaking in sentences.

I'm going to count that as a sentence.

My baby is finally talking. He was just waiting for something useful to say.

What Could've Been.....

Lynsey requested the Brad Paisley story......

I moved back to West Virginia in 1998. The husband, although he wasn't the husband at the time, lived in the town twenty miles north of my old hometown and I decided to live in sin with him because my parents hotfooted it south three months earlier. I liked it there because I didn't know everyone like the hometown and, likewise, they didn't know me.

I took a job teaching gifted kids at an elementary school in town and got to know the teachers. I loved the teachers there and looked forward to lunch everyday to get the good gossip and learn more about my new hometown. I started getting bits and pieces about the fourth grade teacher's son being away at a college in Nashville and trying to make it as a singer. I wondered why she didn't put her foot down and make her kid major in something "real" and, honestly, imagined a long-haired, tattooed, honky-tonk singer making his way from bar to bar every weekend trying to make ends meet. Now, none of these teachers knew that I was living with a guy. I didn't think it would look good for the teacher to be shacking up, so I just omitted Derick from all conversation alltogether because I am not a very good liar. So when the fourth grade teacher came in one lunch to tell everyone her son would be home for a couple of weeks another of the teachers suggested she bring him in and introduce him to me because he was soooo cute and I was soooo single and oh, my golly, wouldn't we have a great time together! I had no idea how to get out of that one without giving myself away, so I finally just told them all that I had recently met someone and was not available for blind dates and that was that.

A couple of months later the whole town was all giddy crazy because the hometown boy had released his new CD and it was selling like hotcakes. I assumed it was just a little local CD until I was flipping through and caught the end of the "Who Needs Pictures" video on CMT and the name Brad Paisley flashed up and I eventually put two and two together and realized, duh, Mrs. Paisley's son! He wasn't hairy. He didn't look like a drunk barfly. He was cute. And selling CDs. All over the country. For lots of money. DOH!

So that's how I came thatclose to Brad Paisley and didn't even know it at the time.