Monday, March 03, 2008

I Think The Force Was With Me

A little birthday party etiquette in case you're confused:

1. The RSVP function on a party invitation is meant to be used BEFORE the party and by BEFORE the party, I mean not fifteen minutes before.

2. If you are going to RSVP, please do it AFTER 7:00 a.m.

3. RSVPing by leaving a message during the party doesn't count.

Seriously. I think I am going to offer seminars on the proper way to handle children's social functions. What happened to plain old common sense?

But other than that, the party was swell.

Most of the kids from Jacob's kindergarten class last year were there. No one, aside from the half-day three, from his current first grade class was there. I wasn't really surprised about that, but I was still a bit pissed off about it. In the end, though, I was glad they didn't come because it was like a little kindergarten reunion and no one had to pretend to like anyone. Plus, the snooty Mamas wouldn't have known what to do with all those masks I printed out....



or the huge bouncy slide....



Who remembers at the beginning of the year when I said I didn't like Jacob's teacher? I take it all back. Jacob's teacher came to his party. He invited her, she showed up, he was thrilled, and we were impressed. Never in my life did any of my teachers go to any of my birthday parties. Never in my teacher life did I ever attend a student's party. That lady is awesome. She should be paid more.

Of course, since I was the one hosting the party, you know it didn't go completely as planned.

When we go to the park two hours prior to the party, the pavillion I had rented, the pavillion I paid money for, was being occupied by a huge group of people with matching shirts, something about The Lowell Family Reunion 2008. No tables, no grill, no parking spaces. When I casually mentioned to one of the mean ass nice ladies that we were having a party there later that day, she laughed at me and hoisted her huge ass on top of the table I was trying to cover. Oh. Dear. Gawd. My little white receipt indicating payment and reservation meant nothing to her. Crap, crap, crappity, crap, crap. Rules, schmules, she paid taxes, in Louisiana according to her license plate, but still, she paid taxes she had every right to congregate at that public park. She easily outweighed me by 200 pounds, there was no way I could fight her for that shelter. I was about to cry, yes really, when Joe the park attendent pulled his little green golf cart right up and shooed everyone of those Lowells away from our party like a herd of cattle. He even made them move their cars. I heart Joe the Park Guy. He also should be paid more.

Dear Lowells,
Next year reserve your party spot before printing location specific tee shirts. And maybe get your own bouncy slide too.



Of course, it wouldn't be a party without cake am I right?

Look at those sweet kids just waiting for a slice of tasty, sugary goodness. Aren't they cute?

Too damn bad Jacob's Mama forgot to bring forks. Or spoons. Or even knives for goodness sake. Somehow I think snooty Mamas would have been appalled at the sight of fifteen little piggies eating their cake trough-like. Good thing they didn't show up, huh?

But aside from that, it was a good day. Jacob was happy, I only had five goody bags left over, we'll only be eating hot dogs for a half a week, and Mommy didn't get beat up. Score.



That face, Man what I go through for that face.

18 comments:

Mom of 4 Busy Kids said...

I am so jealous that I did not get to play on the bouncy slide. What a GREAT party idea. Looks like you guys had a lot of fun!!

Melissa said...

Sweet masks, awesome bouncy slide, hooray for Jacob's teacher and hooray for Joe the park guy. Sounds like you guys had fun!

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Oh, your little guy is too cute! Happy Birthday to him!! Glad the party went well. Who needs forks anyway?
Too funny about the Lowell's. Thank God for park guy :)

Sadie said...

I'm so glad that the party went well, even if it didn't go off without a hitch!!

And isn't eating cake trough-like what kids LIKE to do?!?!!?

Hooray for great parties!!

Momster said...

The RSVP thng is a HUGE issue for me too. I hate, hate, hate it when people aren't gracious enough to respondez s'il vous plait. C'mon, it takes about half a minute, and it saves the party host so much aggrevation. I have a box full of random loot bags from parties where I just didn't know how mnay kids were coming. Aghhhh. My youngest is turning 5 in a few weeks, and I'm sure it will be the same frustrating experience. Good thing we love 'em so much, huh?

Miss Hope said...

Console yourself with the knowledge that in twenty years, he will be showing his woman pictures from this day and will tell her what a cool Mama you were/are. Then he will look at you...a grown man...and say "Remember you let me and my friends eat with our hands?? How awesome was that, man??"

You scored big, girl! His woman will never live up to your greatness.

SydneyDawn said...

Ooh, I'm glad things went off without too much trouble. Yay for awesome park guys, bouncy slides, and sugary goodness.

Lynsey said...

LOL- Think I saw that same Lowell family on Wife Swap one night...

Yay for the party and Happy Birthday to Jacob!

Jana said...

Just reading about the Lowells got my blood pressure up...the nerve! Glad it turned out well. And I love the bouncy slide and Star Wars theme - sounds like the best birthday party EVER!

Shane said...

Sounds like an awesome party...forks or no forks! You rock, mom.

Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch said...

This is why I'm afraid to ever do anything like plan a party at a public park...I'd be afraid the Lowell's would show up and wreck everything.

Glad it went well, despite a few hiccups.

Cool hat, by the way.

Becky said...

Dude, I am flying out for your next party so I can go on this jumpy slide. Seriously.

But why, OH WHY, do people not understand how to RSVP? About half of Ben's invitee's last year didn't show/didn't call.

For my wedding, we got back AT LEAST 5 RSVP cards WITHOUT NAMES ON THEM. So I had NO IDEA who was coming/not coming.

Aaaah!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I don't know what I would have done if I had run into a group squatting on my pavillion. Thank goodness for Joe!

I would have RSVP'd, if you had invited me. Just sayin'.

OneHungMan said...

Sounds like it went relatively well. It could have been worse, it could have been at that loud pizza place with the rodent (thank God the name slips OneHung's mind...he's only been subjected to the place once).

Tracey said...

Hey, it turned out great, then! I can't believe you have so many problems with parties... It's like, a record or something...

Happy Birthday Jacob!

JaniceNW said...

Snooty mamas are so not worth your time. I know you want him to know kids from his current class but dang, these women need a huge lesson in humility, coming alongside their sister and other general principles. I'm glad the party was a success. I would have taken on the Lowell family if I had been present. I can be mighty intimidating verbally when I want to. No one does RSVP's up here either. :)

JaniceNW said...

whoops. I meant other general principles in Christianity.

Rosie's Posey said...

I just found your blog thru Sadie's. I am really enjoying it and have to say, "You Rock!"