Tuesday Tidbits

Ya'll are so kind with your support to my burn out. I will have to say that the husband did take both kids to church on Sunday night, even Adam, while I watched Alton Brown roam the country and knitted until my fingers hurt. I am still tired and and a wee bit cranky, but it was a start.

In two weeks I finished off a 40 ounce jar of peanut butter. Not on bread or crackers or even a batch of cookies. All of it was consumed with a spoon. It's safe to say I have an addiction to peanut butter at this point in time. I just read an article where the author states peanut butter is off limits in pregnancy due to the risk of allergies in the baby. Is this true? It wasn't on my list of no-nos and I never quit peanut butter in the past, of course, I never ate this much peanut butter in the past.

What is the purpose of ABC Family Channel? When they say "family" channel, I assume I can find something appropriate to watch with my children. Don't you? I was flipping this weekend and saw Stephen King's It playing. Have you ever seen that? The one with the scary as hell clown in the sewer? Uh, yeah. Scares the shit out of adults, do I really want to sit down and watch that "family" horror flick with my five year old? It was followed by Sixth Sense. I see dead people. I sense stupid people at ABC.

I think we have a girl's name. Oddly, it wasn't on my list at all. Jacob just told me one day that he thought the baby was going to be a girl and that is what her name would be. I thought, well, that wasn't too bad of a name, and since we can't agree on anything else, as of now we are going with Jacob's choice. No, I will not tell you what it is. I am mean that way. It's not that I don't like you or want to share, but we're not sharing the names until we are absolutely sure, like when the birth certificate has been signed. I learned my lesson with the whole Paul debacle of 2005. Now if Jacob could just channel a boy name......

I have the insomnia again. It's kicking my ass. Mommy on no sleep doesn't equal happy mommy. Daddy is unhappy, too, because Mommy crashes in a heap before nine every night now and he would like for us to spend some quality time together, you know watching movies and playing board games...sheesh...and it just ain't happening. Ironically, when my eyes fly open at 1:38 am I am all up for playing an exciting game of Sorry, but I don't think he would be thrilled to play board games that late, or early, however you want to look at it. So, anyway, I pace the house or cruise the computer until I finally get sleepy again, like 4:30 and then two hours later it's time to start the day. Yeah, yeah, supposed to be getting you ready for those sleepless feeding marathons, but come on, this isn't fair.

I cried when I read about that poor Barbaro being put down. Why? I don't know. I am not even that particularly fond of horses but I am a sucker for animals, though, and it was just heart wrenching what all that poor thing went through.

This morning I am going to spend an hour observing my son in his classroom. I need to know what exactly it is that goes on there everyday before I make any decisions on first grade. I figure he will either act really, really good while I am there or really, really bad, but I think I can get some sort of gauge as to what he does there. You know I will update you on it. I am hoping it won't be as bad as it can be.

Adam had his two year appointment last week. I hate those. I gave in and caught him up on his vaccinations and he had no reaction to them at all. Jacob was always so sick after having his done. Another way they are completely different. Anyway, our pediatrician wasn't even concerned about the fact that he weighs as much as your typical twelve month old and is about as tall, I was suprised. She did, however, refer us to an early intervention specialist to have his speech issues checked out. She did say she thought his lack of speech was a choice at this point since he has no problem communicating in other ways, but better to be safe than sorry.

I just downloaded a bunch of Supertramp tunes. They are making me quite happy. I love me some Supertramp and, oddly, I have none of their albums.

And because I know you love the pictures....here's one I found from Christmas.





Gee...sure would be nice to see dry ground like that again.

Nothing Stays the Same

Here is Jacob at eight months in front of small pine sapling at the lake house. I love this picture because I loved his spiky hair.

Here is Jacob, five years later, climbing the same tree......both of them have grown.

Burn Out

I need a break from my kids. I love them, immensely actually, and their little smiling faces light up my day, but I am tired, I am worn down, I am fed up. I have a fricking Masters degree for goodness sake and I spend my day putting the couch cushions back on the couch and scraping chapstick from under my little dude's fingernails. I cook, I clean, I teach, I tidy, I chaffeur, I run errands. Day after day after day.

Many years ago when we first dove into this parenting thing, the husband and I agreed to a few certain conditions. Saturday morning was to be my free time and Sunday morning was to be his free time. This worked well for, oh, about eight months. As the weeks went by Derick would find things that direly needed to be done on Saturday morning, like hold garage sales, change the oil in the vehicles, and sit on the throne all morning long. Now, in his mind, he was still watching the kid (only 1 kid at that time), but I think it's probably not right to lay under a truck while your two year old is tooling around alone in the house, a house that has knives and tall furniture, so I began staying home on Saturday mornings and "helping" my husband watch the child. That was the end of my free time. BUT, do you think my husband has missed a day of his free time in all these years? Nope, sure hasn't. He spends 13 hours a day away from his children in the privacy of his office AND he gets every Sunday 9 - 1 alone as well. THAT is starting to piss me off. Now, technically, I only have one child since Jacob goes to church with Derick and, really, I could probably start sending Adam to church as well, but I don't like the idea of my baby being in that germ infested nursery being ignored by a bunch of gossipy women who have never even met him before. Dang, they don't even know we have another kid there, so it would really, really throw them off. Who might they send him home with ya know? Also, I don't like that the ONE time the husband is asked to spend time with his kids, he dumps them off and leaves that to someone else. I know the whole point is to get a break, but I would really like him to see what it's really like with two kids hanging off of you for just a few hours. That will never happen, though. The odds of my husband EVER missing church are miniscule. I mean, I had both my kids on early Sunday mornings and he was put out that he couldn't go and even tried to figure out a way to make it to the service after Adam's 8:36 birth. Yes, he really did. It is pointless to even discuss this with him because in his mind, just being in the house on Saturday morning, WHEN he is in the house on Saturday morning, is loads and loads of help to me even though I still prepare the breakfasts, dress the kids, and am the hang on parent of choice. He just doesn't get it.

He has plans every weekend in February. He is actually going on a business trip over a weekend....does that really happen? What kinds of work related conferences are held on Arizona golf courses over the weekend? Then there's that whole damn wedding.....that whole drink-til-you-drop wedding that I cannot attend. I am pretty much going to be parenting around the clock, 24-7, for the entire month. I am not looking forward to it. All I want is four hours to take a shower ALONE, nap, and possibly watch the Food Network AND hear it while I knit without someone climbing all over me. Maybe in March?

Adam at Two

See, even at two weeks he was a happy, smiley baby!

Oh Adam, the things you can do at two!

You are a climber. I always knew you would be, with those monkey toes and all, but I never realized how hard it would be to keep you out of things. I put your ride away, you used the chairs. I put the chairs in the garage, you attempted to scoot the recliner to your destination. I found you on the counter more times than I could count and couldn't figure out how you got there until I caught you scaling the refrigerator, gripping with those toes, until you could swing your leg up. It was truly a feat. I cannot leave you alone for two minutes, it's as simple as that.

You are a great communicator, yet you say few words. You have a way of making us understand your every want, need, and story through signs, grunts, and gestures. It is truly amazing how you get your point across, but little dude, we are really anxious to hear your voice. I love when you sign "I love you", but I would love to hear it as well.

You are a good brother. I melt when you reach over to hug your brother when we pick him up from school. I feel your compassion when you sit next to him during his time-outs with your arm wrapped around him (you really do need to quit doing that). I love that when I tell him to do his chores, you go and attempt to do them for him. You have such a good relationship. I hope the new baby doesn't come between that.

You love cars and trucks and things that go. If it has wheels, then it is fun. You have quite a collection of Matchbox cars already and you line them up then play with them one by one. When brother is at school you sneak his favorite Cars movie cars and play with them too, but you amaze me how you know to put them right back before we go to get him.

At your two year appointment, you weighed 22 pounds, 9 ounces and are 32 inches long. You don't hit the chart AT ALL. You still wear size 2 diapers and we always laugh about how they say "new baby" on the package. I think your new sibling will bypass you diaperwise before long. You seem interested in using the potty, but I haven't even attempted that with you because I know the pull-ups would fall right off your skinny rump.

You love to take baths and play outside and eat bananas and strawberries and sugary goodies. You are happy and easygoing and able to find joy in most every situation. They say it's time for the terrible twos, but I have a hard time believing you could have a terrible moment. Whatever the twos bring, we are ready....ready to see all the new things you can do at three.

Birthday Donut Breakfast: $12

Trip to Butterfly Center and Museum: $22

Dinner at favorite pizza place: $15

Birthday cake and decorations: $11

Gifts, gifts, and more gifts: $45





A brother to share it all with: Priceless

They Say It's Your Birthday......

Two years ago I met my second son for the first time. In that instant I was in love with another human being and I have been smitten ever since. How did two years pass so quickly?

Adam has been such an easy child. He just pretty much showed up one day and fit right into the family. It's like he's been with us forever, yet like yesterday that he arrived. Even though he is now destined to be the middle child, he will always be my baby.

Happy Birthday Happy Guy! May your life be filled with health, love, and joy forever.

The Last Day of One

I can't believe my baby will only be one for one more day.

Can you believe he still wears 9 month clothes and size 2 diapers? A friend passed along the size 2 diapers her 6 month old has outgrown. That's a crying shame. I am sure the 2 year ped appointment is going to be lots of fun for everyone involved.

The party went well. We had a few guests and the cake was, obviously, a big hit. I am glad I didn't go to the trouble and frustration of trying to put together a huge dump truck cake. The Target sheet cake was tasty, the kids loved it, and I didn't have to do anything but put my husband in the car to go fetch it. I made tons and tons of food as I had expected at least 12 guests and got 4, so we have plenty to eat and drink in the coming week. There were some tense moments in the morning when I was sure he was coming down with something bringing back bad memories from last year's soiree, but he held off and didn't start the snotting until after the party fun.

This evening Jacob and I need to go out and buy the poor birthday boy some birthday gifts. No, still haven't gotten a gift. It's hard to get into the gifting frame of mind again so soon after the holidays. I really feel sorry for those kids whose birthdays are even closer to Christmas. I imagine they really get gipped because I did seriously think about getting him nothing since he has plenty of new things, but I can't do that. That's just not fair. What do you get a two year old who has everything?

Filling Space

Well, I don't know what is the deal with my blog. Sometimes my sidebar is where it needs to be, other times I log on and find it down at the bottom into obscurity. I knew I never should have screwed around with the template. If you find it at the bottom of your screen and find it bothersome, let me know and I will work with it, otherwise I am leaving it as is.

I stole this ABC meme from Sadie, something to fill the blog with until I have all the fun pictures from Adam's party this afternoon. How in the world did my baby become two (well, on Tuesday)? Poor little dude, everyone we invited is cancelling so it looks like it will be just us, but Jacob is such a good brother I know he'll make it fun for him. So while my food cooks and my kids play and my husband retrieves the cake (I gave up on my dump truck dream). Here are some fun facts about me........


A. Available or Single? Nope

B. Best friend? I have had many, but Erin and I have been best friends the longest...since seventh grade in 1982.

C. Cake or pie? cake, but only white cake, I don't like chocolate cake much. I do like pecan pie though.

D. Drink of choice? Well, if I could find it anywhere it would be banana snapple but I have had to settle for decaf sweet tea with lime lately.

E. Essential item? Aveeno creamy body oil and the heating pad

F. Favorite color? green and yellow

G. Gummi bears or worms? Neither, but I do love the gummi coke bottles.

H. Hometown? It's so small I would be afraid of the people who might google me with it, but it's in WV

I. Indulgence? Some hair conditioner from Origins. It cost 25 freaking bucks and I am the queen of cheap, but it is soooo awesome and smells great and thank goodness the family keeps me stocked in gift cards.

J. January or February? Well, Adam's birthday is in January, but my mom's and the dog's is in February so they're both good.

K. Kids and names? Jacob and Adam

L. Life incomplete without? 3,000 square foot, five bedroom, 3 car garage home with huge yard. Apparently not, because I don't have that and haven't died without it.....seriously, my family, all of them.

M. Marriage date? June 19, 1999

N. Number of Siblings? just one, a sister, love her dearly but we are polar opposites and it's probably a good thing we live far apart.

O. Oranges or Apples? Oranges.....blood oranges more specifically, but the kids and I probably eat eight of whatever kinds are available (aka cheap) every day.

P. Phobias/fears? death...... my own, my kids, my family. C-section day will not be good for me because they make me sign that paper letting me know that I have a three percent chance of death during it.

Q. Favorite Quotation? Leave my Elevator Alone! Points to whoever knows where that came from.

R. Reason to smile? My house is clean and decorated in a pleasing array of Tonka vehicles.

S. Season? Fall up north.....there aren't really any seasons in Texas.

T. Tag three people: I don't tag....I hurt Hung's feelings once when I didn't tag him so I have learned my lesson. If you are reading this you can be tagged.

U. Unknown fact about me: I drank beer with Brent Musberger and some CBS sports dudes and camera men in a bar in the early nineties, or maybe late eighties, when they came to WVU for a big football game. Can't remember which game, but it was one of those years the Mountaineers had a good season. My friends and I all went to the same seedy bar because no one else went there. It really was a dive. Apparently these guys thought they would beat the crowds as well and we all hung out with them late one night. It was kinda cool.

V. Vegetable you hate. Broccoli

W. Worst habit? I swear.....my kid has heard the f word and thinks shit is just common vocabulary, although weirdly he never uses it. I can't stop it, I have tried.

X. X-rays I’ve had: The basics, ankles, arms, wrists, feet and all the cool ultrasounds I have had the past six years.

Y. Your favorite food? Garlic Noodles from PF Changs and Hooters Hot Wings and I am seriously craving a pepperoni pizza from this local joint down the street, but only their pizza, other pizza doesn't appeal to me.

Z. Zodiac? Virgo

Can you see my sidebar?

Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not.

Please tell me I don't have to screw around with the template again.

Our laundry room is upstairs, right next to our bedroom, and it is about the only thing I like about our house. I never, ever have to drag laundry baskets full of clothes upstairs. It is most awesome. In fact, I think when (if) we ever buy a new house, a downstairs laundry may be a deal breaker for me. The one drawback to it, however, is if I don't drag the little one up with me when I want to wash, dry, or fold, there is no telling what he will get into while my back is turned..or up as the case may be.

For instance......after retrieving and folding a load of towels one morning (okay, and catching some Hot Topics on The View) I went downstairs to find Adam had used his ultra cool Lightning McQueen ride to climb onto the counter and retrieve himself an apple. He really thought he was big stuff when I found him......







The really funny thing about the whole incident is the exact same thing happened four years ago when Jacob was the exact same age.





Maybe a downstairs laundry room wouldn't be all bad.

Tuesday Tidbits

How cute is Steve Irwin's little girl? I have seen her on the web and television the past few days and, dang, I just want to squeeze her. It made me add the name Bindi to my list, but seriously, wouldn't everyone in the world know where I got that one from. It's kind of like Gwyneth and Calista.....two names I love but you don't see them except on those celebrities and, yes, aside from the baby name book they are the only girls I have ever known with those names.


I have figured out the deal at the O*ive Gar*en. They say it's unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks and charge you a small fortune for it, but it's really just one salad and the waiter skips town so you never can get another bowl of soup. This has happened to me the last three times I have been in that joint. No drink refills, no bread, no soup. I finally started flagging down other waiters and eventually I got another bowl of soup......all broth, not one veggie or piece of meat in the whole thing. I don't think that was a coincidence. Although my oldest loves that place, I no longer want to go there because eight bucks for one bowl of soup and a little bit of bread is obscene and I am just sick of the bad service there.


The family friend I was telling you about last week passed away Sunday morning. It's just absolutely amazing to me. We had no idea she was even sick last week and this week she's dead. She will miss seeing her daughter graduate med school this May and the birth of her first grandchild. It's all so sad. I am sure her kids are in complete shock. It really does make me realize how lucky we are that my mom went to that hospital when she did. I shudder to think what could have happened.


It's finally wintery here.....we're able to wear sweaters and coats and if we owned mittens we might use those too. They kept calling for this huge ice storm today and even my husband got the crazies demanding that I stock up on groceries and fill up the gas tank. Imagine our surprise when we woke up and all was dry as a bone. Even so, only six kids showed up to school in Jacob's class this morning. I guess it was too cold for them.


The tooth fairy brought Jacob a shiny new silver dollar complete with a protective case because she knew his daddy was a little fanatical about coins. He was most impressed with the "fairy dust" left on his window ledge. Who was it who told me about using the glitter as fairy dust? Thanks for the idea, it went over well, but holy cow I can't get rid of it today.

Broken Dreams

Bad picture, I know. I guess my camera is so used to catching moving subjects that it can't adjust itself to still life.



Anyway.....how do you like the Christmas present Jacob made me?



That started out as a beautiful blue, yet breakable obviously, Christmas ornament with Jacob's handprint and fingers forming five little snowmen complete with sappy, tear-inducing poem about the snowmen never melting and those little prints will always remain the same even after he has grown...yada, yada, sniff. It is the only crafty thing they have done with the kids all year long and it had his handprint on it......I am a sucker for handprints!

So, of course, the goal is to hang it on the tree year after year but this one sat in it's bag throughout the season because I was sure Adam, my baby, the little one who doesn't know any better, would break it, and I would have been completely devastated if he would have had his way with that ornament like he did the six or seven other ornaments that saw their demise on our tile floor and had a ceremonious passing in the recyclable bins.

Last night Jacob and I were playing a rousing game of Trouble upstairs when suddenly he felt the urge to flee downstairs....bathroom? itch? I don't know. I few minutes later he came up to let us know that we were no longer allowed to go in the "toy room" aka our dining room. He was quite matter of fact about it, like, well, that room's off limits, it's your turn now, mom. Of course, as comfy as I was stretched out on that bed, I had to go see why in the world we were banished from that fun room. Let's just say I didn't take it well and leave it at that. Sentimental snowman ornament shattered all over the raceway rugs makes pregnant mommy quite crazy. Jacob just stood there like Ralphie did when they found Flick stuck to the flag pole.....hmm, I don't see anything. I was completely devastated. Yes, it was just an ornament, but I imagined placing that on my tree with my grandkids around marvelling at Jacob's tiny handprints just like my mom does with the similar ornament I made in kindergarten. Now, this is what I am left with.

I would like to say that I gave him a big hug and let him know that I knew it was an accident and I still loved him and all was right with the world, but I did not. It was a scene out of a bad episode of Super Nanny and I am regretting it a whole lot today. When he wouldn't explain to me why he climbed up onto a shelf, took the ornament down and then dropped it halfway across a different room I hit the ceiling. I was mad. I sent him to his room to bed without a bath, without a night light, and without *gasp* the tooth fairy. It was a bad night, hearing him cry in that dark room, yet too angry to go do anything about it, too upset hearing the vacuum run to pick up the last remaining bits of snowman hand, upset with myself for knowing the right way to handle it, but being to emotional to do so. It was just an ornament, but it meant a lot to me. A symbol to mark to passing of time in my son's short childhood, something we were meant to enjoy for a lifetime, now has become a broken shard of colored glass there to remind me of yet another parenting faux pas, a broken opportunity in more ways than just a visit from the tooth fairy. Kids are resilient, though, he made it through his dark night and slept like a log and at the very least, he hasn't touched anything that belongs to me, yet.

So on page 1,254 of the parenting Jacob manual presented at his birth:
1. ornaments are just things, they really aren't important in the grand scheme of things
2. make him vacuum the pieces himself and calmly put him in time out and explain the consequences for touching important items in the future.
3. Do not take away important life events, you will regret it.


If only........


Excuse me while I explain to my son that the tooth fairy had a long weekend due to the MLK holiday and should be back on the clock tonight.

Who Needs Teeth Anyway?

Can you see that gap in his mouth? Jacob finally lost that loose tooth. After weeks of wiggling, he can now enjoy the fun of sticking his tongue through the hole and the wonder of the tooth fairy. Ah, to be five again.

AGH!

I screwed up big time.....

Don't let the computer illiterate idiot mess with the templates.

Please bear with me as I try and figure out what the hell I am doing with this thing.

Two things today.....

We just found out that a dear friend of the family is dying and may not live to see next week. She hadn't felt "normal" for quite some time and just brushed it off as fatigue and work stress. By the time her kids forced her to the doctor and subsequently into the hospital for tests it was too late. She is ravaged by cancer and as I type an ambulance is driving her home to die. So, to all of you, if you don't feel right, see a doctor as soon as possible so you aren't spending your last week trying to get your affairs in order.


And....

If you homeschool, please, please, please let me know what curriculum (curricula?) are working for you, how you structure your day, what you love about it and what you don't. I haven't decided yet what I plan to do with Jacob in the fall, but I have about three weeks to sign him up for next year and I would like to check out the homeschooling offerings before I do. He is working with Abeka right now and I can get that as a homeschool curriculum (I think). What are your thoughts on it?

This is What I Think of My Blog

Janeen tagged me with a meme, which is good because I had nothing else to say today. Here it is:


1. Do you like the looks and content of your blog? I'm not crazy about the look so I am shopping around for something else. The blogger templates are too boring for me. I don't have enough computer skills to make something on my own. It would be pretty sad if I didn't like the content since basically it is my life on display.

2. Does your family know about your blog? Well, my husband knows and has since made his own blog to keep up I guess. We got in a little tiff because he wouldn't let me look at his and I don't think he has looked at mine since then. No one else knew until this fall when someone I know told her mom about it who in turn told my mom about it and she was not happy. She still thinks someone will show up on my doorstep to kill us with their bare hands. No one else knows that I am aware of.

3. Can you tell your friends about your blog? Some of my far off friends know about it and check it now and then but I don't advertise about it. Most of my friends have no idea I have a blog and it does feel weird to be like, hey, read my blog, as if you don't know enough about my life. If someone asks for it, I give them the address, if not I keep my mouth shut.

4. Do you just read the blogs of those who comment on your blog? I always check out the blogs of those who comment. I like to see who is reading about my life. I love the next blog button, I have found many cool blogs that way and when and if I have time I will cruise through everybody's link list.

5. Did your blog positively affect your mind? What? My mind is the same as it was before I had a blog. I do think it has become a good outlet for frustrations and a place to document the cute things my kids do that I may otherwise forget.

6. What does the number of visitors to your blog mean? I don't know. Somedays I get a lot, sometimes not so much. I like that I have a little circle of friends who check on me each day and I get a good laugh to see what google is sending my way.....very, very interesting what people are looking for on the web.

7. Do you imagine what other bloggers look like? The ones with pics I can see in my head as I read them, but I figure if someone doesn't have their picture up they don't want to be seen, so no.

8. Do you think blogging has any real benefit? For me or for life in general? Blogging is beneficial to me because I have met and read about so many other people and their lives which are similar to mine and I don't feel so "alone" in the parenting world. I have also read about bloggers whose lives have been turned upside down by circumstance and I get inspiration from their ability to keep going and living their lives everyday and it also makes me realize how blessed I really am.

9. Do you think that the blogosphere is a stand alone community separated from the real world? No.....people from all walks of life seem to have a blog these days.

10. Do some political blogs scare you? Do you avoid them? I tend to skip over them because I really am not looking for something that heavy, but if someone is writing about a topic I am passionate about I stop and see.

11. Do you think criticizing your blog is useful? I am not taking a writing class, so no. I write what's on my mind and in my life and if someone doesn't like that I guess that's their right. I do put it out for the whole world to see so I run that risk. The only criticism I have gotten so far is that my husband said I was way too longwinded and he got shut out the next time he came knocking because I didn't want to bore him with my longwindedness.

12. Have you ever thought what would happen to your blog in case you died? Only once when all that stuff was going on with my mom and I didn't have any idea when I would be blogging again. I thought about giving my husband my password and having him pass on the news, but I haven't done that yet.

13. Which blogger has had the greatest impression on you? Gee, that's not fair. I taught school and have small children, I do not condone singling others out and making others feel bad.

14. Which blogger do you think is the most similar to you? That's hard to say. I think I have a lot in common with the other boy moms because we basically do the same wrangling every day. Although he's not a mommy blogger, OneHung and I share a lot of the same interests such as eighties music, beer and frustration over stupid people

15. Name a song you want to listen to. I Want To Talk About Me by Toby Keith or you can never go wrong with Jack and Diane

Because I wanted to be fair, here are the interesting girl names and meanings I found while finishing the name book:

Aba means born on a Thursday, which this child should if it comes on the correct day.

Abilene means from a town in Texas which it will be but hopefully not for long.

Aelfwine means a friend of the elves.

Aphrah means from the house of dust.

Arusi means a girl born during the time of a wedding.....uh, yeah, won't be going to that wedding.

Eglah means resembling a heifer.

Fifi means having dancing eyes.

Gulinar means resembling the pomegranate.

Jena means our little bird.

Lishan means one who is awarded a medal.

Paige means a young assistant.


I have completed my list. I have 27 boy names and 30 girl names. Exactly the same as last time minus the two names I used for Adam. I am nowhere close to a decision and I am still waiting on husband to make his list, but I will say I am leaning toward the ones that mean "from the rocky cliff" and "a peaceful wanderer".

For Beth....

Beth tagged me for her own made up meme fun. I am to name any time I have had a close call with death....was knocking on heaven's door if you will. Here is what I came up with:


In 1989 I was, let's see, a junior in college....it all runs together. Anyway, I decided to head home one Friday on a whim (no home game that weekend) and set out on that windy WV road when I reached down to turn up the volume on Alice Cooper's Poison and lost control on a wet curve while driving too fast (I was in a hurry to see my boyfriend mother). My car started spinning round and round....round and round like a record baby and I was all over the road. There was no way I could control that Corolla and I just took my hands off the wheel and watched from that point. It seemed like it took forever in that eerie slow motion way it took on, but I am sure it was only seconds. I eventually slammed head on into the mountain on the right hand side of the road and my car came to a rest in a huge ditch. I remember sitting there after it was over trying to turn the engine on so I could just head on home and maybe my dad wouldn't notice when a nice old man came and fetched me from the vehicle. He took me into his beautiful home, kicked the neighbors off the party line, and called my dad. His wife sat and held pink washcloths on the back of my head and kept telling me that, no, I wasn't bleeding, she just thought I had a little knot back there, but I would catch glimpses of her husband tossing those rags in the garbage every few minutes. All kinds of people I knew from my hometown on their own trips home kept stopping in to check on me after seeing my car smashed to smithereens on the pavement. That nice lady fixed them all cokes and gave them chips and cookies while we all waited there for my dad. I didn't realize at the time what all the fuss was about. I still thought I could get my car home because it was really just a little fender bender. It wasn't until the next week when we went to the salvage yard to retrieve some things from the car that I saw just how bad it was. The roof had collapsed (probably what cut my head, they still aren't sure), the car was accordioned until I really didn't have a trunk or much of a back seat, and the passenger side was pretty much blown away. I guess it's a good thing my roommate hooked up that Thursday night and decided to stay behind with her fifth man of her dreams of the semester because she most certainly would have been killed since she always refused to wear a seat belt. So maybe this is really her brush with death story, but the cops told my dad I would likely have been ejected into that mountain and killed if I hadn't been using mine. I have never been in a car without one since.



Lesson learned here.......keep your eighties tunes cranked at all times so you never have to risk your life to adjust the volume.

Jacob has been sleeping with me for about a week now. What started out as a way to monitor fevers and keep him doped up at night has now become a semi-habit. I can't say that I am really upset about this yet. In the past year it seems Jacob has grown into a full fledged kid so quickly and he rarely has time to snuggle or spend time with me anymore. He has things to do...stories to write, pictures to draw, Cars to play with. It's understandable, but sad to me nonetheless.

I know I have mentioned before just how exhausting and draining it was to raise Jacob those first years. He definitely wasn't the baby I imagined having all my life, he was hard. He cried almost constantly, spit up rivers, and was just generally unhappy and hard to deal with. The best part of my day was when I heard the garage door go up and knew I could escape from it all or at the very least tag team someone else for a bit so I could get a shower or a beer. I hated feeling like that, I hated dreading daylight and spending time with my child, it was just a horrible feeling.

I can remember, though, the one time of the day I felt a connection to him was at 9:30 each morning. We would sit in the recliner and watch Let's Make a Deal. I don't know what it was about that show, but Jacob loved it and because he was quiet during that half hour, I loved it too. After the Big Deal, he would get drowsy and doze off in my arms and eventually I began kicking up the foot rest and dozing off myself in that chair because I was so afraid to move him, you know why mess with a good thing. So for at least nine months Jacob and I watched our show and snoozed in the chair each and every morning. I miss that. A lot. In fact, I miss a lot of things about Jacob now that he is so big they are distant memories. I would cry to my mom about what a wretched life I had during those days and she would tell me to just enjoy them because they wouldn't be around forever and I would usually hang up on her in a snit because I wanted sympathy, not advice. I mean, why in the world would I miss all day screaming? But, she was right. I would give anything to curl up with baby Jacob in that chair again or read books by the shelf full during afternoon naps like we did the year before Adam was born. In short, I miss Jacob. I miss my baby.

So, I will give him one more night to curl up in the bed and tell me stories, read books, and snuggle, and enjoy it like I should have years ago.

That, and I am tired of waking up with little feet in my ass all night long.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Foods I am Craving This Pregnancy 1. Banana Snapple 2. Hooters Hot Wings 3. Blackberry Tea from Chilis 4. Garlic Noodles from PF Changs 5. Limes 6. Grapefruit 7. The Chopped Bleu Cheese Salad from Outback but I can't have blue cheese....AGH! 8. Peanut Butter 9. Pepsi 10. Did I say Banana Snapple? Where the hell do I find the banana snapple? 11. Munchos 12. Ranch dressing 13. Monterey Jack Cheese over scrambled eggs Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Resolutions

Every year I make simple resolutions, and every year I tend to forget what I even resolved to do by the end of January. This time I will write them down on the www so that everyone can see what they are and then maybe I will do a better job in keeping them.

Eat more vegetables and less meat and refined sugars
I made an effort last year, especially toward the end when told I would need a stress test and possible interventions after birth number three, but it's hard. I like fat and sweets and junk food. We are big fruit eaters, thank goodness, but the veggies are hard to spice up. I intend to try a new healthy recipe involving the wretched things once a week and, who knows, maybe I will even learn to cook with and like tofu.

I will spend more time with Jacob
He likes his alone time, but with this pregnancy came lots of sloth on my end and he was the easiest one to overlook, sad but true. We are going to have a fun outing, ala skip day without the skip, each week and we are going to spend more time playing board games and doing crafts while Adam is napping. A vacuumed floor can wait.

I will have my tubes tied
Not that I wouldn't love a fourth child, it's just my body and bank account wouldn't love it too much.

I will organize this pit of a house once and for all
We have way too much crap and not enough room to store it. I must be nesting because I am totally feeling the need to purge almost everything we own. The crew from Clean Sweep would have loads of fun here. It will take me months as I cannot stay on my feet like I once could but I intend to have at least two drawers and a little closet space for number three by the time it gets here.

I will not say (or write) another swear word
Shit, that will never happen. I resolve to do that every single year and I lose by January 3. The husband did say he felt I was cutting down though, so it's a start, maybe 2010.

I will make one effing friend if it effing kills me
We have lived here seven (agh, seven) years and I still have no one I can call on a whim and meet for lunch or just gripe about how my husband stuck me with the kids again, well, except you fine people, but you're all too far away to meet for lunch. I was attached at the hip to my old neighbor in WV and it's been hard not having just a little of that same kind of support all these years.

I (we) will move the heck out of this neighborhood
I have been dying to do this pretty much since the moving van drove off but I have been going about it all wrong. I have been relying on the husband to make the decisions, figure out the plan, etc. I am going to take the initiative and either a. find something else here in town and sell our own home or b. convince the husband that moving out of town or state is the way to go and help him figure out the logistics. It's time. It was nice to be here in a good medical town during my infertilish and preemie baby years, but since reproduction will be a thing of the past soon, we need to move on.

I will be glad more than mad
I have decided not to sweat the small stuff. So my house is a big ole honking mess and I forgot to put meat and bread out to thaw/rise, who cares. I am going to enjoy my kids every day even when they are being complete stinkers because they deserve me doing that and I will sure miss them when they grow up and move away.

I will have my tubes tied
Did I say that already?

Pictures....finally

Well, I didn't get any bling for my ski trip martyrdom, but I did get a new scanner for Christmas. Technically an appliance, but I needed it, so he can get away with it......this time.

Six weeks have passed since these were taken and I am sure "it" looks much different now, but I wanted to share anyway.

So.....does it look like a boy or girl?




Yes....that's my child giving me the finger. We are so in for it.

Tuesday Tidbits

Happy New Year!

I hope your year is starting better than ours......sneezing and coughing and phlegm, oh my! I am sick of being sick. I am sick of my kids being sick. I am sick of getting some sort of ailment every. single. time. we are with my sister's family. I am not going anywhere near them until they figure out what all they are carrying because this is getting really old.

I still keep waiting for some free time from my husband. The way I figure with all his bible studies, Christmas parties, staying behind to be on call, and his vacation, he spent half the month of December alone. I would just like to sleep alone at this point. Jacob has in bed with me since we got home so I can keep him medicated and vaporubbed through the night. Last night Derick took Adam for a solid fifteen minutes before I heard him tell him to go get in bed with me as he was done messing with him. SOOOO.....last night, in addition to coughing up a lung and struggling to breathe through my nose, I slept between two hot, feverish children while my husband slept alone. Nice. No, he's not sick.

Have you seen Ace of Cakes on Food Network? I love that show! The cakes these people construct are absolutely phenomenal! They are edible artwork. I can't even imagine how much one of them would set you back, but it makes me want to move to Baltimore just so I can get one. Of course, I love Baltimore anyway, but that's another story.

Which leads me to finding a cake for Adam's upcoming birthday. I had originally planned on having a bakery in town do a sheet cake but after perusing their offerings I felt them all too plain after seeing what Duff and crew can accomplish and, frankly, I find the people in there a bit rude and refused to pay them for that, so I have been wracking my brain and the internet for some good ideas and have finally decided that he will have.......a dump truck cake. The kicker is, I have no cake decorating skills, so this should be very, very interesting.

I am still craving Banana Snapple and I still cannot find it anywhere.

Well, he's almost two, but Adam started saying ho, ho, ho anytime he saw a Santa and continues it. So now he can say Mama, Dada, cat, and ho, ho, ho. He did say powder, here, Zane, and drink one time each, but when I tried to get him to say them again he just shook his head no. I was beginning to think he had no language skills, now I think he is just being stubborn. He still signs a mile a minute though so we have no trouble communicating with him.

I have made some New Year's Resolutions.....doesn't everyone? Eat better, exercise more, same old stuff, but now that I am not hanging my head in the toilet every afternoon and needing a nap to make it through the day any longer, my biggest resolution is to spend at least two afternoons a week doing something fun with Jacob. Next week we will hit the zoo, weather permitting and I am looking forward to it. He'll be a first grader next year and won't have his afternoons free so we need to take advantage of this while we still can. How did my baby become a school kid so quickly?

Banana Snapple.....anyone seen it? Was it just a figment of my imagination? I must have one.