Well, I guess summer vacation is over for everyone now.
At 8:30 this morning my phone rang. It was Tony from the Texas Department of P*blic Saf*ty. I wasn't real thrilled to hear from him even though it's been seven months since our last conversation. As you'll recall, Tony and his crew like to call me and beg for money from time to time. Since I don't have much money to spare, I always decline his requests. The last time I turned him down I was issued a traffic citation just a few days later. I still don't think that was coincidence.
Well, this morning my caller id said unknown caller and since sometimes unknown caller is my mom on her cell phone and since the call was before the good telephone manners calling time of ten a.m., I thought it might be her because, she is the only person who would call me that early and even then it would be of some urgency to do so. Every one else knows better. So I answer the phone and it went something like this:
(baby screaming in background as I attempt to suction her nose and juggle the phone at the same time)
me: Hello....hello....hello (because Tony's computer doesn't pick up right away)
Tony: Hello Andrew!
me: My name isn't Andrew
Tony: Well, Adriana, hello!
me: (because I don't want to be here all day and for goodness sakes it could be an orderly at a hospital calling for my mom....well, it could have been) My name is Andria.
Tony: Good morning Adrienne. This is Tony from the Texas Department of P*blic S#fety. Blah, blah, blah
me: (I cut him off) Do you realize the time? It isn't even nine a.m. yet.
Tony: Well, ma'am, it's the only time I can reach you and it's imperative that I reach you.
me: Is there a problem?
Tony: Begins his we need money schpiel, something like, we need your support or something.
me: I don't take calls before nine in the morning, I have children who are typically sleeping (not to mention myself) at that time. (he doesn't need to know I have to get up early to take my kid to school)
Tony: Well, ma'am it's the only time we can reach you.
me: I'm not interested in donating, thank you, we are tapped out at the moment.
Tony: I'll just call back another time.
me: I won't have any money later on either, we aren't wealthy.
Tony: I'll just keep calling back until you can.
me: You'll be calling a long time and I won't be any nicer then either. Click.
You better believe I'll be driving the speed limit from now on.
Tony's after me.
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