Well, I guess summer vacation is over for everyone now.
At 8:30 this morning my phone rang. It was Tony from the Texas Department of P*blic Saf*ty. I wasn't real thrilled to hear from him even though it's been seven months since our last conversation. As you'll recall, Tony and his crew like to call me and beg for money from time to time. Since I don't have much money to spare, I always decline his requests. The last time I turned him down I was issued a traffic citation just a few days later. I still don't think that was coincidence.
Well, this morning my caller id said unknown caller and since sometimes unknown caller is my mom on her cell phone and since the call was before the good telephone manners calling time of ten a.m., I thought it might be her because, she is the only person who would call me that early and even then it would be of some urgency to do so. Every one else knows better. So I answer the phone and it went something like this:
(baby screaming in background as I attempt to suction her nose and juggle the phone at the same time)
me: Hello....hello....hello (because Tony's computer doesn't pick up right away)
Tony: Hello Andrew!
me: My name isn't Andrew
Tony: Well, Adriana, hello!
me: (because I don't want to be here all day and for goodness sakes it could be an orderly at a hospital calling for my mom....well, it could have been) My name is Andria.
Tony: Good morning Adrienne. This is Tony from the Texas Department of P*blic S#fety. Blah, blah, blah
me: (I cut him off) Do you realize the time? It isn't even nine a.m. yet.
Tony: Well, ma'am, it's the only time I can reach you and it's imperative that I reach you.
me: Is there a problem?
Tony: Begins his we need money schpiel, something like, we need your support or something.
me: I don't take calls before nine in the morning, I have children who are typically sleeping (not to mention myself) at that time. (he doesn't need to know I have to get up early to take my kid to school)
Tony: Well, ma'am it's the only time we can reach you.
me: I'm not interested in donating, thank you, we are tapped out at the moment.
Tony: I'll just call back another time.
me: I won't have any money later on either, we aren't wealthy.
Tony: I'll just keep calling back until you can.
me: You'll be calling a long time and I won't be any nicer then either. Click.
You better believe I'll be driving the speed limit from now on.
Tony's after me.
5 comments:
Oh, man. I bet Tony is after you!
My alma mater likes to call me and pretend they're doing a survey ("what was your favorite part of your time at the University of Memphis?") and then they ask for $500. I say hell no, and they ask for $400. And then we auction all the way down to ZERO, when I'm like, "Seriously. I'm not going to make a donation." I finally had to ask them to stop calling (actually, I got my husband to ask them to stop calling) and they said they could only do that if they took me off all mailing lists, etc.
So now I don't even get the alumni magazine.
Good for you for turning them down so strongly. I've given up with most of those callers. I lie. I tell them I'm so sorry... but I'm a stay at home mom and my husband doesn't allow me to make any donations or contributions without his permission. I'm on a very strict budget. It's totally pathetic... and a complete lie... but they give up quickly.
Repeat after me:
(interrupt his sentence of "we want $$") Thank you for calling, we're not interested, please take us off of your list. CLICK.
Seriously. Don't let them "keep" you on the phone. Nobody can keep you on the phone. You can hang up. And you can STILL be polite. I am always polite, but I never let them interrupt ME.
Patrick likes to take on an English accent and have conversations with some non-existent person that is on the toilet until the caller hangs up. I kid you not. He thinks he's hysterical as he shouts with an old man's voice "Besssssie!! Get off the can!! Well, come on! What did you EAT, girl? Gooooood Lordy that smells!"
My husband is nothing if not entertaining.
Yeah I like to play with them a little too..."Do you take food stamps? I'd be happy to donate some of my food stamps to LESS fortunate people than myself! So glad you called....let me run and get my food stamps...."
Ugh...I hate the phone calls from the police and firefighters associations. I had to chuckle at the suggested responses others gave. I may just have to give them a try!
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