Thursday, July 20, 2006

This is the last time I complain, I swear

It's my blog and I'll complain if I want to....

So we went bowling last night. We like to do that on a semi-regular basis so when Derick said the church was going as a group, I was up for that. I should have known there would be trouble when I walked in and realized I couldn't order a beer. Well, I guess I could have, but I don't think that would have went over well. I mean...bowling and just goes together am I right? Anyway, the whole experience made me remember why I rarely go to church. Church is like high school: cliquey. We have been members of this particular church over two years now and STILL people do not interact with us. It's the same people at every function who run the show and talk amongst themselves. If they do speak to us, their eyes are always darting off looking for something else, as if I do not notice they haven't heard a word I've said. We looked a long time for a church to belong to when we moved here and as they say, everything is bigger in Texas. All we found were the megachurches, one even had a shuttle bus to take you from the far ends of the parking lot to the church while the others you just wish they had the shuttle bus. We definitely didn't get into that so I think when my husband found a semi-small church he got so excited he wanted to join immediately. I actually jumped on the bandwagon at the beginning and signed up to teach Sunday School, but they never let me teach anything. They wanted me to show up at 9 every Sunday and sit on the floor on my five month pregnant ass and "observe". After three months of that I just quit going. It was obvious I wasn't going to break into the churchy clique and by then, I really didn't want to. I also got a little peeved when every weekend they were having baby showers for every other pregnant lady, even members grandchildren, yet I never saw a sign go up with my name on it. At first I assumed it was because I was having a second child but then I wised up and realized I had a small family, these other women were having fourth, fifth, sixth children so that theory was blown out the window. I haven't been back on a regular basis since I had Adam. The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, was when we had a baby and NOT ONE person from that church called to say congratulations or offer any help. No meals, no cards, no gifts. Not that I need any of that, but that is usually what happens in a nice church family is it not? They never even announced in the church bulletin that we had a baby and when the church directory came out in January, when Adam was ONE YEAR OLD, it still only listed Jacob as our only child. Yeah, makes me all warm and fuzzy and wants me to become more a part of the fold.

Well, back to the bowling....We wait forever to get a lane because it appears no one is in charge and hey, I have two kids here a forty minute wait isn't ideal, but we finally find a spot and settle in and the dang youth group comes in right beside us. That's ok, I don't mind kids, but these were the most undisciplined, rude kids for a bunch of supposed Christian kids who should have been taught better. I had to ask the kids to move out of the lane so I could bowl a few times and then we finally had to leave because they had pushed us out of the chairs and had taken over our entire lane, all without speaking a word to us. One of the boys even came over and took the small kid's ball we had for Jacob and ran off with it right when it was his turn. I stopped him and the kid looked at me like I was crazy and I finally had to raise my voice to make him put the ball down. I want to know where the parents were, but I suspect they dropped them all off for free child care as this is typical from the kids at our church. Is it like this at all churches or did we find a dud? I don't want Jacob to think that these behaviors are okay, yet I really think he needs to go to church on Sundays. I think it's time to start looking for another church, but I don't hold out any hope that another one will be any better.

That's my rant for the day....


OneHungMan said...

OneHungMan was raised to be a little Catholic boy, and while I do believe in God, I'd be lying to say I was a practicing Catholic.

I feel for you...where I play golf, it's very cliquey. I don't like it, but I like the course. So, I go there play golf, and leave.

I agree with your assessment of bowling. While I don't bowl, I can't imagine doing it without a long neck sitting next to me.

I blame the way kids act on the parents. I'm old school--I don't have a problem with beating the hell out of my little boy. While not exactly socially acceptable, I think more people should forget society and learn how to lay down the law with little ones.

I think the majority of kids are out of control and it's because the home concept has changed. Families rarely eat dinners together--they're always on the go. These 25-year old parents with 5-year old kids don't always have a clue--and we hate their kids because of it.

Lynsey said...

Agreed with the comment above. Where on earth did the concept of teaching good manners go? And while I don't frequently attend church, I am beginning to understand why I am not missing too much. I would rather stay home and pray in the comfort of my own home, rather than feel like I am out of place in God's house. I imagine when we have kids it'll be a struggle to find a good church to take them to. Until then, I will drink beer while bowling. It's only natural.

Beck said...

My church is pretty clique-y, too, and matters are made even worse by the fact that most of the people - but not me - are related to each other. I think it's time to find another church, really, if you feel that unsupported. Someplace in your town is a great church just right for you.

Amie said...

Sorry you are having such issues with your church. We go to mega-type church. Not as big as many, but pretty big. There are different groups I interact with, our young married group, homeschooling families, children's church workers ect. I have found some groups to be cliqueish and others to be totally welcoming and warm. I guess thats one advantage of a big church, many groups to choose from.

Its too bad about the youth group. I suspect that many parents do take advantage of free baby-sitting,and many expect the church to teach their children to be "good".

firstborn said...

wow, i cannot believe that the church people are "haters" to you & your adorable family! why is that?!

& i agree with what everyone has said above...i'd kick 'em to the curb...they don't deserve you & your family! it's totally their loss!!!

& those punky rude kids, they need a good ass-beating (as my dh would say)!