Wake up (before 7, small miracle), shower, and brush teeth before kids bound from bed.
Clean up puke from aforementioned teeth brushing episode.
Spend three minutes in limbo wondering if I should leave bathroom or attempt to puke again "just to get it all" You know what I'm talking about.
Awaken children and serve breakfast, and by breakfast I mean frozen waffle slapped on a plate.
Repeat the words "get dressed", "brush your teeth", "make your bed" twenty times each.
Pile children in vehicle and dodge angry commuters getting child number one to school door safely.
Buy groceries. Eat samples in store. Stock freezer with ready made frozen meals to get us through the next week. Splurge on a banana colada Fuze drink and cool little pretzel sandwiches, yet can't eat either without needing to throw up on the cold tile floor.
Return home and locate Motivated Moms calendar and set to work. Cross off all the things I refuse to do, such as change AC filters and clean out the vehicle. Sit down to rest while thinking of where to start.
Turn on The View just to see Hot Topics. Send baby child off to play independently because it's good for him. Swear I will turn television off after Hot Topics.
Get sidetracked and decide I need to see what Rachael Ray is cooking today.
Get sidetracked again and need to see what the lady on Knitty Gritty is making today, which makes me feel like knitting so I hang in the recliner and knit two rows of crappy baby blanket that will never be finished. Switch to Desperate Housewives on tivo and realize AAGGGHH, the rain from Sunday scrambled the satellite and, thus, no episode.
Go upstairs to email friends to see who might be able to tell me what happened in DH Sunday night and maybe Brothers and Sisters too while they're at it. No reponse yet.
Write scintillating blog entry that is sure to entice many readers while baby pastes millions of Hallmark gold stickers all over himself.
Realize it's time to pick up oldest son, write out tuition check and absence excuse, all late, drop those off in office after retrieving son. Sneak out before anyone can say anything.
Prepare hearty lunch for children consisting of Kid Cuisine, pimento cheese sandwiches, and fruit punch from a can. Am told this is the best lunch ever.
Attempt to scrounge my own lunch but am brought to dry heaves by all in the pantry. Settle on Rice Krispies. Again.
Spend ten minutes
Wander into computer room and take note of all the things that need organized, thrown out, and cleaned. Keep telling myself I will get right on that.
Watch Lazy Town with oldest kid and laugh for thirty minutes because Robby Rotten called Stingy, Stinky.
Checked on baby man and stuffed couch cover into washer on the way up. Yeah, me!
Spend five minutes unbalancing washing machine.
Had conversation with oldest son about the Cars characters and read the newest book he is developing on the subject.
Played light sabers with youngest son.
Picked up the entire toy room. It is not a waste of a day! Baby child wakes up and along with oldest child proceed to destroy all that was done.
Check emails to see if anyone knows anything about Desperate Housewives. Nope.
Survey the damage in the computer room and decide it's too late in the day to tackle that one and instead watch a rousing episode of Little Bear on Noggin followed by our daily Good Night song ritual which even the dog took part in today. Warm fuzzies all around.
Prepare a nourishing dinner of Kraft Spaghetti in a box while juggling cell phone to talk to my good friend on her way home from work all while trying to change a diaper and ignore begger child who has located something he cannot live without in the newspaper.
Wave goodbye to children and husband, climb into tub, pop two tylenol pms, update my blog, and crawl into bed....ready to try and be more productive tomorrow.