Sunday, May 13, 2007

I have officially boycotted Mother's Day.

I think I will do this every year.

It has nothing to do with gifts and gratitude. My husband presented me with a set of pearls...pearls for a woman who wears shorts and sandals daily, but pearls...ok. There were stale donuts and glasses of milk and that was ok too.

What I would really have loved more than anything was for my son to keep his mouth shut for ten freaking minutes so I could have enjoyed it.

I am at my wit's end with Jacob. The medication isn't helping him. If anything, it has made him twice as aggressive as before. He speaks to me with such rudeness and disrespect that I have to stifle my first instinct to slap him. No punishment works with him so the behavior continues. I have charts and stickers and chores and rewards but he still acts like a sullen teenager and I have had enough. This morning I gave him the card he chose for his Gammy and told him to sign it, nothing else. He proceeded to throw a fit worthy of a two year old girl about how that wasn't his card and he wasn't signing it and it escalated from there. I put him in his room but that doesn't phase him. He went to church with his dad and apparently got all kinds of luxuries there so he came home and continued his fit when I wouldn't let him play on the computer as punishment for his tirade. Now Dad took the boys out away from me to "give me some peace" so I am spending Mother's Day pretty much alone. I still have the bottomless pit who loves me only because I am her human milk machine, but I am alone. No PF Changs, no fun activity, nothing.

Jacob is supposed to go to WV with his Gammy next weekend. He will be there until mid-July. This has been the plan for months, although he was supposed to come home late June but, naturally, my dad planned some sort of something and they can't bring him home until after the fourth. I am sad that I won't be spending the summer with my kid. I would love more than anything to take him to the pool, sign him up for sports, have lunch together, but I know even if he stays here things won't work out like that. I know he will fight me tooth and nail all summer long and it makes me sad knowing that where I will miss him, part of me will be relieved not to have to deal with that crap for eight solid weeks. This was our last weekend together. Instead of filling it with fun and love, it's turned into torment and disaster. No more Mother's Days for me please.

6 comments:

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I'm sorry the meds aren't working for Jacob. Hugs to you today! Maybe some time away with his grandparents will be good for him. He's got a lot going on right now, with the meds and the new baby and maybe he's acting out because of it.
And at least you got pearls. Hubby got me NOTHING (he tried to take me to a store and told me to pick something out, but since I keep the budget and I know how much money we have, I picked nothing. My car needs gas.)
Try and enjoy the rest of the day and I hope the kids behave like little angles for you until bedtime :)

Lynanne said...

Ugh, sorry to hear your day is so rough. :( Depending on what meds your son is taking, they might take a few weeks to work. When my son first started taking medication for his behavior, he was completely out of wack. He almost acted drunk without the drunkness. I don't know how else to describe it - he wasn't staggering around drunk but he seemed "off." Talk to your son's doctor and see what he says.

I hope your day gets better!

Lynsey said...

So sorry to hear that about the meds, that really bites. I don't know how I'd deal with that either. Sounds really stressful and I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time with him! :(

Sadie said...

I'm sorry you had a bad weekend and that you will be apart for him for so long. :(

Dana said...

((Andria)) I am so sorry to hear the meds aren't working for Jacob. I have been there with Jake. It's such a hard place to be in because you love them and want the best for them and from them and it feels like you are so often disappointed, embarrassed, at your wits end. (At least this is how I feel!) Please feel free to email me if you ever need to chat. I've tried SO MANY things with Jake and I feel like I'm always spinning my wheels. We've taken classes galore, tried him on meds, special school for him, several dozen books read by me, therapy, both individual for him and with our family through church, school, our insurance group.....nothings worked yet! I don't mean to discourage you. All I mean is that it's not an exact science and what works great for one person, won't work at all for another. KEEP TRYING! I know you will.... you're a great mom. These sweet boys of ours are in there somewhere...if we can find a way to break through to them. I'm currently reading "When your kids push your button, and what you can do about it" Seems good so far...makes a lot of sense. Hang in there...
I'm with you on the bottomless pit thing too! Brennen is 5 mos and still breastfeeding exclusively....and he's a hungry lil guy! LOL

Lori said...

((((((hugs)))))) Andria!!!!

That does sound like a pretty sucky mother's day.

I wish there was something I could do to help. It sounds like things are a little overwhelming now. It *will* get better.....