The Phone Call

I swear, it's not my children who keep me young, it's all the women surrounding me who apparently never left high school.....

To recap:

I was in charge of organizing the class Valentine's Day party. Because I am strapped for time and a free room in which to speak quietly on the phone, I emailed all parents about all meetings, discussions, ideas from start to finish. Of the three women who got back to me, this was also their preferred method of contact so I went with it. Jacob's teacher said she also preferred email because then she wasn't saddled with a bunch of notes to send home and collect. She gave me the list of parents and the email addresses given to her. By February 13, the chips, some sprinkles, and some napkins were donated, I bought the rest. Party done.

At 6:36 the night before, the phone rang. I saw on the caller id that it was a mother from Jacob's class and refused to answer it as we were smack dab in the middle of our dinner but since my husband does not understand the meaning of the words DON'T ANSWER IT, I took the call.

It went like this:

Stupid husband: (answering phone, handing it to me, yet never saying hello) Here's the phone. It's for you. It's KW. Do you know her? (because he is a complete idiot)

Me: Hello

KW: Hello! Is this Andria?

Me: No, it's Derick. Yes

KW: This is KW, xxxx's mom. I was just wondering when the Valentine's Day party was going to be.

Me: Do you not own a calendar?Uh, tomorrow at 2.

KW: Well, I was just discussing with M here and we were both wondering if we signed up to bring anything.

Me: Uh, no.

KW: (you can hear M snickering in the background) Are you sure? Because we were so sure we signed up for something when you called.

Me: No.

KW: Oooohhh, that's right. I didn't get a phone call. I didn't get an email either. I guess I wasn't important enough to know about the party. Well, I guess that means I'm not bringing anything.

Me: You send your kid to Christian school?Nope, I guess not.

KW: (snickering along with M in the background) Okay then. Click.


Of all the email addresses, KW's address along with her ex-husbands, were the only ones to come back to me time after time so I eventually just deleted them from my group list. I guess if I had loads of time and only one child like she did, I could've picked up the phone and filled her in, but then I figured they gave the wrong email addresses, if they wanted to be informed they should have changed it with the teacher because, uh, where are they getting her important information????

Seriously.

The next morning I got a call from M. At first I thought KW might have been talking about another M because M is such a common name from the early seventies that many, many women have and since I don't know all ten of the full day K mamas names seeing as how they never speak to me or anything. When I looked at my list, though, I realized there was only one M and found it awfully strange that M wanted to know when the party was since she was at THE MEETING! Oh yeah, and supposedly bringing plastic knives and sprinkles too. But anyway, she called all sheepish-like the next morning while I was in my death stupor to tell me that she wouldn't be at the party because her daughter was ill and that she would send her supplies at lunch time with her husband. Whatever. I was too damn sick to care.

Am I missing something, or did we leave junior high, like, eons ago?

If KW is pissed that she didn't get an email, why didn't she call me like an adult and discuss it four weeks ago when the first ones went out??? What in hell was she trying to accomplish with that phone call?

Geez, I'm too old for this shit.

And really. What good is all that newfangled fancy caller id stuff if we aren't going to use it to our full advantage? Time for husband to attend Family Telephone Etiquette 101.