What Happens if You Forget Valentine's Day

So you want to know about the Valentine party do you?

It went well I've been told. I wouldn't know since I wasn't. even. there.

I decided at the last minute that I just didn't like those snooty mamas and wasn't going to do a damn thing to help any of their asses out and they could just scrap the stupid, fake holiday party.

Not really.

Although I will have to tell you about the bitchy phone call I received the night before.

Anyway, I ran myself ragged baking and cutting and putting goodies together then sat idly by waiting for my successful party mother lode: THE CRAFT to arrive by mail on it's promised date of February 8. I wasn't worried on the 11th, but by the 12th I started to panic just a little because heaven for- frickin- bid there not be a foam crap craft that requires absolutely no imagination to put together on their little desks on party day. So when the mailman came by on the 13th with only an insurance bill and a plea to vote for some ugly lady, I packed up my kids and went to the craft store to find something else. HAHAHAHA! The lady was thinking when I asked where they were keeping the Valentine supplies because in retail land, it was Easter. So I booked it home and did what I should've to begin with and consulted ye olde Internets and found an acceptable paper craft....i.e. the one I clicked on first. Another trip to the store and we were all set. Sort of.

So when the alarm clock rang on the 14th I had the worst headache ever some head pain and figured I was getting a migraine, which would totally figure. By the time I made it downstairs I had vomited twice, and when I couldn't remember the way to take Jacob to school, I had to wonder if I'd been sleep drinking or if I maybe I was really sick. So I asked the husband to come home and take me to doctor, the doctor in our grocery store. Yes, the cool fancy supermarket has a clinic! Oh, how I love that place! I may never have to see old boyfriend Tar-jay again. But, yeah, fill out papers, check me over, quick swab, and voila! I have strep throat! I had strep throat and I could not be around fifteen children until I had been on the antibiotics for 24 hours. Well, except my own, who I expect will come down with it any day now.

So, that is how I missed Valentine's Day 2008.

Which worked out well for the husband since he got nothing for any of us.

But I promised I would not be mad about that or even mention it, because he cancelled his afternoon meetings and played substitute party mom. Imagine the looks on those lady's faces will you? Because, none of them could believe he was doing it. None of them thought he could do it.

Oh, but he did.

He made crafts, he decorated cupcakes, he led a round of Simon Says and then had them all stand up and sing Kum-Ba-Yah while holding hands and the teacher was so utterly impressed that she gave us a month's tuition.

Oh, and the frosting was there. Frosting lady apparently found a way to remodel her home and go shopping all in the same week.

I threw a party and I wasn't even there. Damn, I'm good!

Remind me to tell you about the phone call sometime..........