Over It

Day 22!

Dare I even say I wish I could go to work.   I was so ready for that job to be over but now I want to go there.   At least Coronivirus makes you appreciate things huh?

I coughed and coughed this morning.  My chest hurt.   I had some pleghm in the back of my throat.   I was sure my husband had finally brought it to me.   I almost threw up imagining how it would all progress until I took a snort of Flonase and seem to be better.    I am still scared though.   I feel like it is only a matter of time.

The week's assignments are due in 23 minutes.   My kids are still in bed.   I just don't even care.  I know the teachers are doing all they can and I should pull myself out of this funk and help them out but I just can't.   The kids fight me, they are angry and sad and upet, they want to see their friends and they blame me.   I am the only one here most of the time, they need someone to blame it on.   I try to make things fun for them but they are not receptive.    I miss them.   I miss the sports playing,  school going, happy kids from 23 days ago.

I really don't mind staying here in my house.   It's the waiting that is killing me.   Waiting to see if we get it.   When we get it.   Will it kill us?   Waiting to know when I can hug my mother again.  

I slept in Jacob's room last night.   Lord almighty is that the most uncomfortable mattress ever made.   Maybe that was a lot of the reason he was grumpy all the time.  I slept more then they all these other nights combined, I think because I felt safer up there.   I ordered a thick mattress pad and hopefully that will help some.   I intend to stay there for a while.

Derick went to our local pub/restaurant we love and bought burgers.   I was so happy to see some sort of normalcy I scarfed them down before I ever even thought of the ramifications.   I sure hope the people in that restaurant are well.  

We started watching Tiger King and I was fascinated but Derick found it boring and is now watching something you have to read...while he coughs his head off.  Allergies he says, but it's pouring down rain and he hasnt' been out other than to get the burgers.  

I sure wish I could go to bed and wake up tomorrow and this all be a dream.