DAMMIT! I don't want to dance in the living room any longer!
I am lonely.
It's 2:42 in the afternoon and my children are still in bed. YES. I know I need to get a handle over this situation but I also don't want to fight. I do wish they would wake at a timely hour so we could spend some time together. I miss them. Did I say that?
They wouldn't spend any time with me anyway. Adam, the one who has always loved me the most and taken my side in any situation now hates me. He is downright ugly to me the few moments in a day I do see him. He is mad that I forced him to go to Colorado, that he couldn't see his friends that week, and that I still won't allow him to leave the house. He believes I am overreacting to it all and that since he doesn't have it and his friends don't have it, anything I say is a load of bullshit. Nevermind that it is LAW now to stay in, apparently the other mothers are nicer about it.
Elizabeth hasn't done a lick of school work this whole time. She stays away because she doesn't want to hear me remind her of this fact. We usually turn their internet off for this kind of behavior but they have to have the internet to do the school work now.
Jacob has been doing really well since his work has moved online. He is talking about enrolling in summer school. I just hope they have summer school, I want him to stay focused and interested.
I miss my parents.
This was the last day I saw them. We celebrated my mom's birthday. It was February 16. It's been a while. They are running out of food and they live in the boonies so no delivery, no curbside, an hour drive anywhere. I need to get to a point that we KNOW we are virus free and drive them some BUT my husband continues to go to work every single day. I guess making chemicals is essential. He refuses to shower when he comes home, that is ridiculous he tells me. He does change clothes but he leaves them in the closet for me to breathe whatever comes off of them. Two days ago I made some beer cheese and I watched him dip his whole hand into the pot and lick it and go back for more. I didn't really want that anyway I guess. He gets mad if I disinfect behind him so I go to my room most of the time he is here and close myself off away from him and then do it all the next morning. I pray he stays away from the kids. He makes a good bit of money, I understand why he continues to work, he has too. If he quit this job there might not be another one to go back to. Why in the world are grocery workers still there? They can't make more than I did working preschool and if she asks me to go back on May 7 I will have to say no thank you. This is serious shit. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful and grateful and in awe of these people who continue to supply us with our basic needs. When this is over I am bringing all my grocery ladies $100 bills to show my appreciation, I know they have to be scared to death. Derick swears he stays in his office all day and I am still scared to death. These people face germs every person who walks past them, I can't even believe it.
My sweet friend works at an Assisted Living. I am scared for her too. She is doing so much to keep these people safe and happy and occupied but every day another one here has an outbreak. I pray and pray for her and the family she returns home to every evening.
Elizabeth used the last of my hand sanitizer to make slime yesterday. She just doesn't get it. My hands are dry as a bone for all the hand washing. My hemorrhoids are acting up from all the sitting. I drink too much.
Please, everyone, stay inside, don't spread this anymore than the essentials are already spreading it (through no fault of their own).
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