45

Soon we will have spent an entire month (April) having gone no where.  

Crazy.

Cases continue to rise in our county, our city, our state but heaven forbid we stay in a moment longer. Texas is opening most everything on May 1 (Friday).    We can go see a movie!   Eat inside a restaurant!  Go to the museum!   Might get a virus and die, but what the hell??   Texas is open!

The authorities ask that you wear a mask to cut down on transmission but do want to know what the hell happened?   The POLICE FORCE sent out a snarky nasty gram saying they were never going to enforce that and it was unconstitutional!   The POLICE!   People were out protesting.   Over.  Wearing. A.  Mask.   Things have been pretty shitty in our country for a while now but I do have to say, that was the point where I realized people are complete assholes.    I just don't understand why someone would be against trying to keep their fellow man well.   I am so sad to see this state of our world.   The saddest thing is my husband is right there with them.  Shit, he'll probably be first in line to get to a movie, any movie.  And that, my friends, is where I have some decisions to make.  He hasn't stayed a whole day in this house since this started.   He makes up shit he has to do just so he can go out.   Up to this point his options were pretty limited, but NOW, he can go anywhere he wants, except to get a hair cut.    He doesn't care what he brings home to us.   He's all, it will be what it will be, if we get sick, if we die, that is God's will but do you know what will likely happen?   He will get it and not get sick at all and it will be ME dying.    I half wonder if this is part of a bigger plan.  Maybe that is what he is trying to do?  I know!   That sounds insane but he just.  doesn't   care.

Jacob will be done at college in about two weeks.   We do not really know when because he won't tell us, but he REFUSES to stay and do summer classes so he will have to come home.  He hasn't changed a damn thing about his life the past nine weeks.  He still goes out, he still meets friends, probably still licks poles like he did when he was two.   So, I have done everything possible to keep us virus free inside this home yet if it isn't already here buy my husband it surely will get here through my son.  

We aren't getting away from it.   Just because it's open doesn't mean it's safe.   I am more scared than I have ever been.