So This is Christmas......

Ah, it's over.

I can't say that I am happy to be home and that sucks. I remember when I would be somewhere and that nice feeling I would get when I would be home in my own home. I don't get that here, never have, and this is probably the place we have lived the longest. Sigh.

Anyway.....

Christmas.

We actually did have a pretty nice Christmas after the whole miss-the-Santa snafu. I am still surprised that everyone got pissed at me for getting pissed at them. I don't see how they can't understand why that would upset me.....but I am letting it go, watch me.....throwing it away, never to speak of it again. la, de, la, de, la....

Why the heck can't I get a decent picture ever? I pretty much gave up after this......

So, without further adieu, I present to you Santa's Hits and Misses of 2006

Hits

* Cars Dirt Race Track Set - Hours of fun and entertainment until the little one runs off with the cars. Male parent figure is needed to "try it out" before relinquishing controls to children.

* This car, these cars, and this car - It's all Cars all the time around here.

* A harmonica - Jacob has wanted a harmonica for ages. He actually does a pretty good job with it.....how do you actually play those things anyway?

* Crayola Art Case and a big roll of paper - Jacob thinks he's a real artist now.

* A small yellow hummer - Adam loves hummers, enough said.

* Ramone's House of Body Art and Casa Della Tires - Well, technically Gammy brought those, but in keeping with the whole Cars theme which I think became our Christmas, I think these might have been the ultimate favorite.

Misses

Candy - We weren't allowed loads of candy as a kid, but Santa kept our stockings filled each year with good, from-the-candy-store candy. Well, our candy store was named KwikEMart, but dang, someone knew what they were doing when they stocked the candy. Santa apparently thought my kids (and neice) would love the same, but no, tossed aside like pairs of socks. Jacob actually put his in a pile and asked for an apple. What was I, uh, I mean Santa thinking?

Necco Wafers - Of course, Adam is my little sweet tooth. He wasn't treated as sweetly in the candy department as the others, choking hazards and all, but he did receive a package of these fun treats in his stocking and all present opening ceased for him at that point, so this one actually needs to go with the hits.

Fish Maracas - Impulse buy.....Mama likes them.

Floam - Floam was a huge disappointment. The kids tried to use them like clay to form things. It melts into a big pile sending little girls into hysterical tears......which leads us to....

Moon Sand - I don't yet know if this will be a hit or a miss as I cannot get anyone to play with it. I am dying to get my hands on it though so maybe mama has a non-alcoholic New Year's Eve activity

Cars Carrying Case - Why in the world would you actually store the Cars? They must be under foot at all times, never must they be deprived of oxygen and light. The latches are nice for almost two year olds to pull off and chew on though.

Fisher Price Airplane - Because why would a baby play with a baby toy? It remains untouched and at the lake waiting for baby three.

So the picture recap.......

It was a Cars Christmas........Santa's no dummy.

All boys must have a harmonica........

The calendar was a huge hit......until Abigail puked all over it.

Necco Wafers are so tasty they make my head spin.

All in all it was a good day.....good company, good food, good times (except for the whole Santa thing, la, de, la) Only 359 more days to go.

Is Christmas over yet?

I need a vacation from my vacation.

Abigail is all better, thank goodness, but now my brother-in-law, Jacob, and I have the illness. So far everyone else has been spared. My sister was to head home this morning, and although I truly love her and enjoy her company for the most part, I was looking forward to getting rid of their hairy golden retriever because I believe I have developed an allergy to it. I would also like to see my own dog again. Poor guy.

So, here we sit, cooped up together in various forms of illness in this small, small house. Fun I tell you. On the bright side, there are healthy people (so far) who can play with Adam and make sure he is diapered and fed so I can just sit and be sick. Not the way I envisioned our holiday, but whatever, we'll muddle through.

I hope everyone else had a good holiday. I haven't been able to check on anyone because the dial up here is just so, so slow. Have a happy new year and if you so choose and are able, have a drink for me!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Whew.....it's over. I love Christmas, really I do, but what a relief to have all that stuff behind us for another year.

Santa was really, really good to the kids. I would share some wonderful photos of them getting their loot but I didn't get any of those. My parents took it upon themselves to let the kids out and into it well before getting us up so we missed it! Yep, I missed seeing my oldest bask in the glow of Santa goodies in what could be the last year he believes in him, but I am the bitch who just ruins everything for getting upset about it. So, yes, I hit the ceiling and fought with my family on the happiest day of the year. Loads and loads of fun. It sucks to be pregnant at the holidays, especially around my family. I need a drink.

Abigail woke up puking this morning, apparently she has some sort of virus that was going around her day care, so I figure the rest of us will be spewing about the time we are to head for home....more fun. My dog has not been allowed in the house the entire time and he is a total inside dog. I am so sad watching him shiver out there, but he isn't allowed in because my sister brought her dog and it doesn't like my dog so they have to be separated.....Ezra always gets the short end of the stick on that deal. I feel so sorry for him. He will need many dentabones when we return home.....My mom and I have been cooking and cleaning and watching the kids while everyone else watches crappy movies because this is my sister's vacation......she works you know.

It hasn't been all bad. I actually enjoy spending the time with Abigail (aside from the pukiness today) and we finally did tell Jacob this morning that he has a new sibling coming and he didn't completely fall apart as I expected. He's not overjoyed, but he didn't have a meltdown, so that's positive right? Plus, Jacob has been exceptionally well behaved the past few days. I don't know if it's the threat of coal or the influx of people has made him suddenly timid, but it's the first time we have all been together and I haven't had to keep him timed out most of the time. Maybe he's maturing...maybe there is hope for him after all.

Santa is Coming......

I think we are off to begin the Christmas festivities today. The dad is still on call because although he covers for others all the time no one will do it for him so he gets the house to himself for the next three days. He is trying hard to contain his excitement about it. Yet again he gets more free time.

I think we have everything covered. Gifts? Check. Clothes packed? Check. Laptop? Charged and ready to go. You may hear from me in the coming days, but don't hold your breath. I am going to the land of slow dial up so we shall see how it goes.

I leave you with last year's Santa photo as the scanner is completely beyond repair.

Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Buon Natale! Yada, yada, yada........

One Day I'll Sleep Again

They say women forget the minute details of pregnancy and giving birth so that they will be willing to repeat the process over and over to populate the world. Some sort of primal thing or something. I don't know if that is completely true because I do remember the agonizing pain of contractions, the messed up c-section and complete meltdown I had two years ago, and the days of wondering if I would ever feel my left leg again, yet I did forget some very important details about being pregnant. The first one, obviously, was just how horrible it is to puke daily for months on end and the second, which is just now coming to light for me is the insomnia. Oh, my wretched hell.

For the past couple of weeks I have been awake between 1:30 and 4:30 every single night. My husband awakens at 5 making as much racket as humanly possible while trying not to make noise for almost an hour and then kids are up by 6:30 typically so essentially I am getting about three hours a sleep a night. I am tired. I am cranky. I need some sleep. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a vidodin right now. So, yeah, it really is 2:49 a.m.

Anywho.....

My husband has a weird little quirk (well, many, but this is just one)......he awakens in the middle of the night and invades the kitchen and scarfs whatever is available. Sometimes he is awake (and he swears he is) but other times I have caught him so zombie like that I know he is sleeping and he usually doesn't remember doing it the next day. I have learned to hide anything I really covet in my upstairs closet, sick I know, but I was getting tired of waking up disappointed to find Butterfinger wrappers all over the table and all my limited edition Holiday Spice Pepsi that can no longer be found sucked dry. I saw a piece on 20/20 a couple years ago about people who regularly do this and they have found a link to this behavior and eventual onset of multiple sclerosis in some. Interesting. Something else I will have to look out for as I already worry he is developing early alzheimers because he can never remember anything I say to him.

So.....I spent all day Saturday and some of Sunday baking. I was a baking fool. I cranked my Christmas tunes and sent my family away and baked eleven different kinds of cookies and candies. I was a regular Betty Crocker. I wanted to give some away and then bring the rest up to the lake to have handy because I know my parents will have visitors this weekend and into next week and I didn't want my mom worrying about what to prepare. I had TONS of goodies..........(notice it says had?)

As I was putting the breakfast (and lunch) dishes in the dishwasher I noticed my festive red and green dishes. I looked over in the corner, behind the mixer where I thought I was hiding them, and found most of my creations totally gone. The best molasses cookies in the world...gone. The thumbprints that he said he didn't like.....all gone. The pizzelles, a few left but in shambles. The only thing that survived was some peanut butter fudge and some toffees that I placed in a tight inconspicuous can. I felt like Ralphie's dad when he realized they wouldn't be having turkey for Christmas dinner. No Christmas cookies! Say it ain't so. The kids and I didn't even get to taste them. Grrrrr.



But I have that nice refrigerator magnet........

Yeah, must be nice.

Tuesday Tidbits

Six more days until Christmas. Every time I think I am done with everything, something else comes up. I am tired. Where is Santa when you need him?

Speaking of Santa, I truly must remember to do this next year......
As you know, we are spending the holidays with my family at the lake next week. This is the first time we have been with my sister in three years. It's kind of a pain to drag a bunch of presents all the way up there just to haul them back a week later, but it must be done! Anyway, once my mom was okayed to drive she drove a lot.....to the Walmart and back because, really, that's all there is up there. My sister caught wind of this and would call every third day or so to tell my mom another funny story about something that Abigail wanted for Christmas and could she pick that up for her so she wouldn't have to transport it? My mom did as she was asked and when we went up to the lake last weekend Jacob couldn't find one present for himself as they were all for Abigail. I mean, she outnumbers him four to one easily, he was a little irked, but he got over it because he knows Santa will be good to him. Well, yesterday my mom and sister were conversing about one of said presents and my mom was saying how really excited she was to give it to her and my sister let my mom know.....oh, no, those are all from Santa! Where my mom says, well then she doesn't have any gifts for Abigail and then my sister says, well, I don't have anything from Santa and, of course, my mom gives in. Geez.....I spent a small fortune on "Santa". My sister didn't pay a dime. Where did I go wrong here?

My husband has returned from his manly vacation. I laughed out loud at him last night when he totally figured he would leave me another evening so he could go to church again. Let's see, he went to a Christmas party, a five night vacation, and will have three nights alone later this week. Uh, no. When I reminded him that he just got back from vacation he told me that he really didn't consider it a vacation that it was a lot of work because he had to entertain his friend so much. Oh boo, hoo, hoo. That cool gift I was waiting on......a refrigerator magnet. It really tells someone thank you for caring for my offspring alone for many days don't you think?

Tracey asked about girl names. I don't have any picked out this time around yet, but we were going with Grace the first time and Rachel the second time. Derick is really all into Grace still, but I don't like it as much as I did six years ago and was starting to wonder about Rachel toward the end of the last pregnancy. They are nice names and I could use them if I had to, but I am hoping to find something else this time.

The more I think about it and say it in my head, Caleb isn't for me. In fact, none of them are for me. The few names I really like have been taken already by friends or family members. That's what happens when you are old having children. My husband wants one that two families we know have used semi-recently. He says it's our kid and we should name it whatever we want to call it since we will have to be the ones using it the rest of our lives, I think it just makes us look half looney and like we couldn't come up with something on our own. What are your thoughts on that because, like, there are about six names we really like that fall into that category.

What's in a Name?

Now that I am 21 weeks and feeling the baby move every second of the day, I figured I needed to get started on finding a name for this little one. I threw out my old baby name books (along with all the pregnancy and first year books, I was sure confident we wouldn't be here again) so I checked one out at the library. I am currently working on boy names because they have stumped us in the past and I always have the two girl names I chose previously to fall back on if I don't get to girl choosing by April.

I made it through E last night. I like to look at the meanings of each name and some of them really were......well, interesting.

For example:

Aghy means the friend of the horse

Balbo means one who mutters

Balasi means one who is flat footed

Barr means lawyer (that makes sense)

Biagio means one who stutters

Caddis means resembling a worsted fabric

Cameo means a small, perfect child, which, of course, I will have, but Cameo, next

Denali means from the national park

Derick means the ruler of the tribe, but I won't let him know this

Eustace means having an abundance of grapes


The only name I found in A - E that I remotely liked was Caleb, yet Caleb means dog and also the head vampire on Port Charles was Caleb and since the show has been cancelled for three years and I still remember that, I most likely will remember that as I am yelling down the street for my kid ten years from now. Soooooo.......back to the book.

Can They Really Do That?

Have you heard that NYC will be banning trans fats in all their restaurants?

I guess you could say that it might make for a healthier city and eventually, I am sure, country, but, really, why should the government say what I can and cannot eat? If I choose to drive thru the Mickey Ds, I should be able to enjoy it.

I find it interesting, though, that everyone is going on and on about how unhealthy it is to eat in America, yet smoking is still okay. Why do I have to breathe the smoke of others just to get into a store or walk through the park? I am not hurting others by eating a donut, yet strangers could possibly be causing my unborn child health problems because I am subjected to inhaling their smoke if I choose to go outside. In my opinion, no one is forcing anyone to eat out at restaurants or binge on fatty foods, that's a choice. Anyone who says they didn't know the fast food joints were unhealthy are lying or have been living in a fall out shelter ala Adam Weber all their life. Even my five year old knows that chicken nuggets aren't good for him and that fruit is a better choice. It is not a choice, however, to breathe smoke from other's cigarettes and cigars in public places. If we can ban food, let's make smoking a private affair, something to be done at home or in your car or far, far away from building entrances. If the government will do that, then I will jump on the trans fat ban wagon.

Santa 2001

Well, I give up on ever getting my scanner fixed or being able to enter a nonchaotic store in the near future so instead of the awesome cute picture of my boys with Santa (you don't know what you're missing) you get Jacob at nine months with Santa for the first time. Enjoy.

Yes, I forgot to put his shoes on.

Etiquette 101

Okay......I probably should have mentioned this when I wrote about the weird things about me. I have a thing about thank you notes.

My mom taught me how to write a good thank you note as soon as I learned to write and I was expected to write one for everything I received and I did faithfully. It was just what was expected, proper etiquette. If you give me something, even as small as a piece of candy, you will get a thank you card from me within two weeks.

Because of this, I expect thank you notes in return. I know it's petty and, honestly, I realize people are busy and such, but having this beaten into me all my life I can't let it go. I figure if I buy someone a wedding gift or a graduation gift or especially anything I have mailed far away, a thank you note isn't too much to ask for me to know if you got the gift or I need to start calling the post office and inquiring about cashing in that insurance. Now, kid birthday parties are a little different, mainly because most kids we know can't read or write yet and they say thank you while we are there and, really, in this world a verbal thank you is great, but my kids have and always will send a thank you card even if I have to be the one to pen it.

Last year I mailed out one wedding gift, two baby gifts, and a graduation gift. The giftee should not have been disappointed either as I gifted well for all occasions. I am still waiting on those thank you notes. I eventually even emailed the wedding gift recipient after giving her the requisite three months and then some to see if it actually arrived because it cost me dearly and I got a short reply. Basically, yep we got that, thanks. Uh huh. The other ones, nothing, nada, yet I know one of the baby gifts was received as I got a mass email with a picture of said gift on kid a few months ago. Uh huh. I know it's a lost cause at this point, but I know I will forever remember that I gifted these people and was not thanked appropriately. I hate being like that, but it's just how I am, so sue me.

A few days ago I went to the mail and found a thank you note from the couple whose wedding we attended back in November. Score. I was so impressed to see that envelope with the big thank you sticker that I was promoting them in my mind to stellar human beings, when I opened it and found something like this (now is when I really want a new scanner because it's much better on paper):

Derrick/Andriea (spelled incorrectly although they got it right on the invite)

Thanks for the gift card.

L..../M.....

WTF???? That chick couldn't even bother writing out the word and! Did she not get the little memo about how to write an appropriate wedding thank you, like maybe thank us for coming to their boring shindig? The real kicker.......we didn't buy them a gift card. I spent an entire morning perusing her registry (third marriage) for a kick ass gift and they have no idea what we bought for them. Amazing. I can still point out all our gifts and tell you who sent what and I sent out awesome thank you notes too, thank you very much.

What happened to the art of writing? When did it become okay to be so lax when dealing with others? What is wrong with sitting down and writing three lines expressing appreciation for something? It's so sad. I miss thank you notes.

Tuesday Tidbits

Well, only two more days until the daddy comes home. I am thinking he better come bearing expensive gifts because this was more than I bargained for. He likes to call each evening to let us know he's doing allright and what great amounts of sleep he is getting and that, hey, tonight we are going out for steak and maybe sushi tomorrow. Yeah, better be a nice a gift for me....like a night in a nice hotel alone with all the PF Changs I can eat. I really don't want to hear about the great food and atmosphere while I have just opened my fourth can of tomato soup amidst screaming wails and loud toys. I am secretly glad, though, when he calls and is wheezing because he isn't used to the air "up there"......lol.


I took the kids up to the lake for the weekend. It was awesome cold up there, I couldn't even force the kids outside or even the dog, so we stayed curled up by the fireplace and ate junk and watched all the Christmas shows on ABC Family. I am wondering how many times my kid can watch Polar Express before getting sick of it, because I am on the verge.


There were some tense moments last week when we Mountaineers were thinking we might lose our Rich Rod......Alabama offered him a decent deal that, frankly, I am shocked he turned them down, but whew, he says he's staying put so we can all breathe a little easier. Yeah, I couldn't turn my back on my team for too long. I own too much gold and blue, it would be hard to replace all that.


I came home to find a hugongous package on our doorstep. Yet again, my mother in law sent an awfully expensive tray of cheese and meats for the holidays. Every year, same thing. She keeps Figis in business. Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but we spend the rest of the year paying her bills, she is on disability and essentially broke, but come Christmas she is full of the spirit and insists that we have these little tidbits. I try really hard not to get a twitch about it, but when her bills start rolling in this February it's hard to be happy about more nitrate laden goodies. At least with Derick gone the next few days, the kids and I can eat the candies, nuts, and cakes before he even knows we got them. LOL.....one year she attached a card that said that the nuts were specifically for Derick. OH, and Derick got his yearly Christmas card from his dad.....addressed only to him. In his dad's world, the kids and I do not exist and for whatever reason, my husband is okay with that. I was put out about it at first, but now it's just kind of funny sad. Did I mention before that my inlaws hate me?


I think I am going out this afternoon to purchase another scanner. My husband will hit the roof, but I have been begging asking him to fix this one for some time and it hasn't happened yet and I cannot let Christmas pass without emailing everyone I know the picture of my kids with Santa....or my cool ultrasound photos. Of course, I would have no earthly idea how to hook it up, but those things come with directions right?

AAGGHH! Someone stole my baby and replaced him with this big child! How could this have happened? Where is my baby?

The dingo took my baby.....



Jacob's kindergarten school picture
September 2006
Is this the little boy I carried?....Sunrise, Sunset...sniff, sniff

Waaaaa!

After vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, folding laundry, and baking a snack for Jacob's class, I sat down to rest and possibly watch an old, old episode of Men in Trees when my oldest son ran downstairs in such hysterics I was sure something horrible had happened.

Well, to me it was horrible......he has his first loose tooth! Now , he is just a wee baby, how can he be losing his teeth? I am not ready for this......first the teeth, next the driver's license. Why do they grow so quickly???

I am trying really hard to hold it together as he is so excited, but I want to cry seeing that very first tooth that appeared in his mouth will now be the very first tooth to leave it. I cried for hours when he got that first tooth, at seven months, because he was losing some of his babyness.....now there is no babyness to be found and I am so, so sad.

Here he is the day he got that first tooth...you can't see it, but it was there. Even the poor dog was sad.

Bah! Humbug!

Okay....I am officially pissed about the week long skiing trip.

When he first brought this to my attention, like five minutes after his friend proposed, I made every effort to be the nice supportive June Cleaver wife and sit with a smile as he voiced his plans and excitement over the fun, fun, fun they would have. What started out as a three day weekend has now blossomed into a full week of ski and drink and good times which I imagine is not cheap. The money isn't that big an issue to me, I mean I'm not making any money, he may as well spend his daily wages how he wants, but it does kind of grate on my nerves when he starts ranting about not having any money to retire on when I purchase my baby a pair of seven dollar pajamas, but an expensive vacation is a-ok. Of course, I should clarify that whenever my husband receives a bonus of any type he deposits it in his very own savings account that can only be accessed by him.....it his "money" to do what he wants with, it isn't "shared" money that we could use to pay bills or save for a new house. I guess that's fine, but I work my ass off every single day, where the hell is my bonus? I guess the fact that I get to eat and have a roof over my head is bonus enough huh? At least that is the way he makes me feel about it. In my husband's eyes I sit on my ass all day long because even though by the time he makes it home 12 hours later each day I have cleaned the house three times, washed four loads of laundry, cooked three meals, ran all the errands, and entertained his children, all he sees are the couch cushions on the floor because I didn't scramble quickly enough to pick them up for the fortieth time or the sticky spots on the floor, or chili AGAIN how dare me.

Last evening I had the balls to put my pajamas on at 7 and climb into bed to watch television alone. I figured he was getting six nights alone, I was going to take my turn and you know what? My kids didn't get bathed until after 9 because my husband was stomping around in a snit vacuuming (after I had already done it that day) and bitching about our filthy, cluttered house and how he could get it all done in an hour what the hell am I doing all damn day while dragging that vacuum right into the bedroom interrupting my alone time. He was pissed because I wasn't up scurrying around like a crazy person all evening long. The hell? He gets a VACATION and I am supposed to feel guilty for going to bed early? Now, my husband is not a horrible person, he is just painfully misguided and has unrealistic ideas about how a wife is supposed to behave. He is expecting Donna Reed; he is going to be waiting an awfully long time.

His friend is arriving this afternoon, spending the night so they can take the red eye to Denver in the morning, I know I am expected to make a huge meal and probably a big breakfast as well. I am sure he wants the house spotless and the kids on their best behavior (lol). I can do all those things, except maybe the kid thing, but why is it so necessary? Why can't we go out for pizza and they pick up a cinnamon bun at the terminal tomorrow?

Yeah, yeah, my marriage vows say somewhere that I should submit to the husband and follow his lead, yada, yada, yada, but really, do I have to be happy about it? My husband cannot take a morning off to go to chapel with his son, but can take a week to ski with a dude, this doesn't sit well with me right now. Of course, the last time they took a trip together they were mistaken for a gay couple, so just knowing they will probably get that again helps a little, but geez, I am tired and achy and desperate for more than a three minute shower. So, yes, I am pissed. I suspect by the time he comes home next Friday I will be even more pissed, you know wrestling children 24/7. I cannot be responsible for the credit card bills that come in January....I hear the stores calling my name. Retail therapy, it's good for the soul.

Tuesday Tidbits

Well, I have come to some conclusions about the whole wedding deal. First of all.....we were told the wrong month. It's February 24, not March 24, as previously thought. Better, but still not great. That makes me 32 weeks and since son number 1 came at 32 weeks I just prefer to stay around home then. My husband's suggestion was that he take the kids with him and surely someone there would want to wrestle watch them while he stood up front during the long, long Catholic mass. Yeah, right. I think I am going to have my good friend Erin come and spend the weekend with me. If I don't go into labor we can spend the time eating out at PF Changs and shopping at the Galleria with all four of our children. Should be loads of fun. (*BTW...Erin, you are up for that right?*) Very ironic that she would leave Baton Rouge to come here when the wedding is in Baton Rouge. Now, if they had just waited until June.......


My husband is going to Colorado, Breckenridge to be exact, on Thursday. He will be staying a week. Apparently it is necessary for him to take the groom on a paid-on-our-dime trip before the wedding and, well, since the wedding is only a few weeks away, this is the time. Boy, I would love to have a week vacation........even one where the kids come along sounds good to me at this point. Funny how we can never afford a vacation any other time.


So, that leaves me with the kids alone for an entire week, night and day. I will miss my sorority Christmas party, mom's night out, and I will have to take the kids through the drive through Bethlehem by myself. Yep, sure would love a vacation or, shit, a bath by myself one day.


You know, I haven't had to dig out the maternity clothes yet. I am shocked. Of course, I wouldn't know where to look for them even if I did need them, but heck, I am 19 weeks now and still sleeping on my stomach and wearing my size 6 jeans. All that puking was good for something.

Beating a Dead Horse

I wanted to thank you all for the kind words on the Jacob situation. It isn't the end of the world, but it is very frustrating to me. Like anyone else, I just want what is best for my child and I am finding it all a little eye opening because I always figured he would just do what everyone else does and do well. I am still not convinced he won't do well if we continue on the beaten path. I agree with those of you who said that he had a few months to mature and also that the teacher is judging him a little early having been only in school three months. Where it gets sticky, though, and this is why the teacher brought it to my attention so early, is that if I want him to continue to go to the private school next year, I need to enroll him in early February or he will lose his spot. Also, if I want to look at other private schools and find one that may better suit his needs, same thing. Soooooo.......I need to get busy. My immediate plan is to spend a morning observing him in the classroom. I want to see how he relates with the other kids and how he works with the teacher. I am inclined to think that boredom is a big issue on his end because all they do for the three hours he is there each day is work.....work, work, work, and then on Wednesdays go to chapel. There are no crafts, no playtime, no fun centers in the room. It's not like the kindergarten you and I went to. Jacob is all about art and writing and making up stories at this point and he gets no opportunity at all in school to do this. All he does is print letters, add numbers, and read flashcards.......stuff he has been doing for over a year now. I am highly trained in observing children and documenting their needs and weaknesses....I did it for years when I was a special education teacher. I am just wondering how objective I can be with my own child. Michelle asked about an IEP and an aide for him. That might work in the public school, but private schools do not have access to those kinds of services, at least this one does not. I also don't know if I am ready for him to go through all the testing that is involved with obtaining an IEP at this age. When I did this for a living I found kids who were tested before the end of first grade were sometimes misdiagnosed and labeled unfairly for the three years they were required to keep the IEP and in many cases judged by their papers instead of their abilities. Some teachers just couldn't look past the label and that was sad, but true. Now, that doesn't mean that next year, if we go the public school route, that I wouldn't go for it then, I just think three months into school may be a little extreme, at least for my kid, another reason I want to see what he's doing in class....it may be a big eye opener to me. Also, I am not against retention at the grade school level and from previous experience with other school kids, kindergarten is usually the best time to do it (if not before). If he were having academic issues it would be my first approach, but he doesn't and I cannot even imagine how odd it would be for him to sit in a classroom again learning the same things he has learned the past two years. It would be like watching reruns over and over.......I imagine his behavior issues would only get worse at that point. I think, academically, that homeschooling is the way to go. I have been "homeschooling" him for years and he has learned well from me and I know he would continue to make progress cognitively, I just don't know how it would affect him from the social aspect. I mean, it won't be like I will be keeping him under lock and key for the next two years, but it won't be what he is used to and, right now, he really, really likes the cameraderie that school time brings. I don't know how he would like it if I took him out for such a long time; he really does like the structure of school. I also wonder if I would have the stamina to be up all night with a new baby and be the best teacher I can be for Jacob. So, decisions need to be made, the sooner the better. I am sure whichever path we choose we will find a way to make a good situation out of it. I am also sure that whatever we do I will second guess it every step of the way. Parenting ain't all it's cracked up to be sometimes....gee thanks to all of you who tricked me by making it look so easy.

Doesn't it Rain A Lot in March?

Remember I mentioned before that my husband's best friends was finally getting married? Well, they set a date...... the last Saturday in March. Again, who plans an elaborate wedding in three months? I know my mom ended up having to sew my bridesmaid dresses because everything we chose would take up to six months to be ready.....not to mention my own dress. She must be buying off the rack. Anyway......more dilemma. Shit, it wouldn't be my life if there were no dilemma.

The date of their wedding will be the exact day I turn 36 weeks pregnant. To any normal pregnant person, this might not be an issue. To me....big issue. My first son was born at 32 weeks, water just broke no reason behind it, he just showed up one Sunday morning. Second son was born at 37 weeks before his scheduled c-section with full blown labor. Now, very different situations, but it still stands that my kids come early.....on Saturday nights. Soooo.....it's already a given that I won't be attending the wedding (which, thank you very much, your gift won't be as nice as I was planning) but husband is the best man and expects to show up. According to him I am being extremely selfish, but I really don't want to be left alone for four straight days over a Saturday night with my track record. It might be different if it were our first child and I could go to the hospital alone, but how in holy hell would I drag two kids there and give birth in front of them??? Uh, yeah. So far, this is husband's input.......I will have a scheduled c-section in April and this isn't that day....because we all know those babies know how to read a calendar and well, I met some lady at that Christmas party that you couldn't go to because you were home watching the kids while I had a grand old time, who had her third baby while her husband listened in on the phone, isn't that neat? Uh, and what did she do with her other kids? He doesn't know, but apparently a phone birth sounds pretty cool so the hell with them that's the way to go.

Now, I am not a complete shrew. I really want him to go this *&%$ing wedding, this is his best friend and he was there for husband on his day, but WTF? Do I just hope upon hope that nothing happens and number three stays put until it's actual birth date or am I a horrible wife because I don't want to be left alone with the what ifs that close? Oh, and my mom won't be coming for this one's birth (or staying for four weeks like before either, oh shit) so pawning everything off on her like we have done in the past isn't an option, you know the whole she almost died and now can't do things like she used to thing. It just makes me realize AGAIN how alone and isolated we are here. I want to go home.