Sunday, December 03, 2006

Doesn't it Rain A Lot in March?

Remember I mentioned before that my husband's best friends was finally getting married? Well, they set a date...... the last Saturday in March. Again, who plans an elaborate wedding in three months? I know my mom ended up having to sew my bridesmaid dresses because everything we chose would take up to six months to be ready.....not to mention my own dress. She must be buying off the rack. Anyway......more dilemma. Shit, it wouldn't be my life if there were no dilemma.

The date of their wedding will be the exact day I turn 36 weeks pregnant. To any normal pregnant person, this might not be an issue. To me....big issue. My first son was born at 32 weeks, water just broke no reason behind it, he just showed up one Sunday morning. Second son was born at 37 weeks before his scheduled c-section with full blown labor. Now, very different situations, but it still stands that my kids come early.....on Saturday nights. Soooo.....it's already a given that I won't be attending the wedding (which, thank you very much, your gift won't be as nice as I was planning) but husband is the best man and expects to show up. According to him I am being extremely selfish, but I really don't want to be left alone for four straight days over a Saturday night with my track record. It might be different if it were our first child and I could go to the hospital alone, but how in holy hell would I drag two kids there and give birth in front of them??? Uh, yeah. So far, this is husband's input.......I will have a scheduled c-section in April and this isn't that day....because we all know those babies know how to read a calendar and well, I met some lady at that Christmas party that you couldn't go to because you were home watching the kids while I had a grand old time, who had her third baby while her husband listened in on the phone, isn't that neat? Uh, and what did she do with her other kids? He doesn't know, but apparently a phone birth sounds pretty cool so the hell with them that's the way to go.

Now, I am not a complete shrew. I really want him to go this *&%$ing wedding, this is his best friend and he was there for husband on his day, but WTF? Do I just hope upon hope that nothing happens and number three stays put until it's actual birth date or am I a horrible wife because I don't want to be left alone with the what ifs that close? Oh, and my mom won't be coming for this one's birth (or staying for four weeks like before either, oh shit) so pawning everything off on her like we have done in the past isn't an option, you know the whole she almost died and now can't do things like she used to thing. It just makes me realize AGAIN how alone and isolated we are here. I want to go home.

8 comments:

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I'm so sorry. This really sucks. You didn't say, but I'm assuming this is an out of town wedding? I don't have any advice for you. Personally I wouldn't plan on attending (even if it werer in town), but the rest is between you and hubby. My husbands best friend got married 2 months after we had our second. We're in Ohio and he got married in Iowa. I didn't go, but hubby was the best man. I gave him my blessing to go without me, but I have to tell you, I was still ticked off and resentful after he left. I was left for 5 days with a 2 1/2 yr old and a new born. Thank you very much. I hope things work out for the best. I can tell you though, if my husband missed the birth of our third child (phone birth not an option), there is nothing he could do to make that up to me. Best friends don't come before children.

Lori said...

I have to agree. Best friends are great, but the birth of your third child only happens once. I'm not trying to scare you, but normally child birth is a safe process, but complications can happen. How would he feel if something happened to you or the baby and he wasn't there??

I know you don't want to be bitchy, but if it were me, I would just have to put my foot down and say, "sorry honey, I love you, and your friend, but it's just a bad time, and you need to be here with me/us". You didn't get pregnant all by yourself, and you shouldn't have to give birth by yourself.

((hugs)), I know this isn't an easy situation. Hopefully he comes around and realizes that you need him there. I know it's a "just in case" situation, but this is a BIG deal.....

Amie said...

Picking up my jaw over the phone birth story.

If I were in this situation, unless the wedding is close enough where my husband could be home in a reasonable amount of time, than I would totally expect him to stay home.

Sadie said...

Bless your heart. I understand the husband's desire to be there, but I would expect him to stay home too. The chances are too good that something will happen.

Heck, if I don't have a job by then, I could come help!

Sadie said...

To clarify: by "chances are too good that something will happen" I mean that chances are good you'll go into labor, not that something BAD would happen. Of course, if he goes, and you do go into labor, you can hold that over him for the rest of your lives.

That would be fun.

sweet memories said...

oh andria, wish you could relieve all stressed during your pregnancy...I tend to go along with everything everyone else wants just to avoid conflict sometimes, but you have to think of you and the baby and your other little ones too!I mean, it is really not enough time to rearrange life sometimes..how about an over the phone toast and best man?! I wish you all luck in making these decisions...

Michelle said...

Oh man! What an awful, stressful situation to be in. It stinks that they've planned their wedding at such a bad time for you guys with your hubby being the best man. I know it's their wedding, but they should have taken into consideration that it's out-of-state (right?) and their best man's wife is pg and due close to that time! I wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't know what I would do. I know I wouldn't want my hubby to miss the birth of our child though. I'm really sorry this is happening!

OneHungMan said...

Just another reason marriage should be outlawed.