Thursday, December 07, 2006

Bah! Humbug!

Okay....I am officially pissed about the week long skiing trip.

When he first brought this to my attention, like five minutes after his friend proposed, I made every effort to be the nice supportive June Cleaver wife and sit with a smile as he voiced his plans and excitement over the fun, fun, fun they would have. What started out as a three day weekend has now blossomed into a full week of ski and drink and good times which I imagine is not cheap. The money isn't that big an issue to me, I mean I'm not making any money, he may as well spend his daily wages how he wants, but it does kind of grate on my nerves when he starts ranting about not having any money to retire on when I purchase my baby a pair of seven dollar pajamas, but an expensive vacation is a-ok. Of course, I should clarify that whenever my husband receives a bonus of any type he deposits it in his very own savings account that can only be accessed by his "money" to do what he wants with, it isn't "shared" money that we could use to pay bills or save for a new house. I guess that's fine, but I work my ass off every single day, where the hell is my bonus? I guess the fact that I get to eat and have a roof over my head is bonus enough huh? At least that is the way he makes me feel about it. In my husband's eyes I sit on my ass all day long because even though by the time he makes it home 12 hours later each day I have cleaned the house three times, washed four loads of laundry, cooked three meals, ran all the errands, and entertained his children, all he sees are the couch cushions on the floor because I didn't scramble quickly enough to pick them up for the fortieth time or the sticky spots on the floor, or chili AGAIN how dare me.

Last evening I had the balls to put my pajamas on at 7 and climb into bed to watch television alone. I figured he was getting six nights alone, I was going to take my turn and you know what? My kids didn't get bathed until after 9 because my husband was stomping around in a snit vacuuming (after I had already done it that day) and bitching about our filthy, cluttered house and how he could get it all done in an hour what the hell am I doing all damn day while dragging that vacuum right into the bedroom interrupting my alone time. He was pissed because I wasn't up scurrying around like a crazy person all evening long. The hell? He gets a VACATION and I am supposed to feel guilty for going to bed early? Now, my husband is not a horrible person, he is just painfully misguided and has unrealistic ideas about how a wife is supposed to behave. He is expecting Donna Reed; he is going to be waiting an awfully long time.

His friend is arriving this afternoon, spending the night so they can take the red eye to Denver in the morning, I know I am expected to make a huge meal and probably a big breakfast as well. I am sure he wants the house spotless and the kids on their best behavior (lol). I can do all those things, except maybe the kid thing, but why is it so necessary? Why can't we go out for pizza and they pick up a cinnamon bun at the terminal tomorrow?

Yeah, yeah, my marriage vows say somewhere that I should submit to the husband and follow his lead, yada, yada, yada, but really, do I have to be happy about it? My husband cannot take a morning off to go to chapel with his son, but can take a week to ski with a dude, this doesn't sit well with me right now. Of course, the last time they took a trip together they were mistaken for a gay couple, so just knowing they will probably get that again helps a little, but geez, I am tired and achy and desperate for more than a three minute shower. So, yes, I am pissed. I suspect by the time he comes home next Friday I will be even more pissed, you know wrestling children 24/7. I cannot be responsible for the credit card bills that come in January....I hear the stores calling my name. Retail therapy, it's good for the soul.


ChupieandJ'smama said...

Your husband sounds like my friends husband. I'm sorry. Donna Reed or Martha Stewart doesn't live here either. You have every right to be pizzed. My hubby just got back from a 5 day hunting trip. Now, he does this every year, so I expect it, but like you said, when is my vacation?? Ok, I feel for you and I hope things go well with the kids while he's away. Good luck with that shopping therapy.

Sadie said...


I wish I could say something that would make you feel better.

I hope you can have some fun while he's gone... And come up with some way to make him feel guilty...

OneHungMan said...

OneHung realizes he is the enemy right now because he possesses a weiner, but nonetheless, he really feels for you.

Keep in mind, OneHung feels in the same boat a lot of the time. OneHung is a single parent for the majority of the time YoungHung is not at school. In addition, OHM does most of the things "normally associated" with the mom, on top of everything associated with the dad.

He's not complaining mind you, the alternative is Mrs. Hung raising the little boy and OHM would rather just do it himself.

But he does understand where you're coming from. He's telling you though, when those boys say "hi Mom" on TV, everything will be worth is at your husband is wondering where his love is.

BethGo said...

I feel you, sister.
Keep your chin up and know that I am rooting for you.
*WARNING* Assvice alert!!!
You know, you are extremely educated and knowledgeable AND you are a good writer. Have you thought about doing some freelance writing work for magazines. There are so many Parenting mags out there who I'm sure would love to print what you have to say. There's not much money in it but enough to put something in your pocket that's all yours ;).
I have a topic you could submit right off the top of my head: Kindergarten Readiness:How to Know when to Go. You know you have a lot to say about that topic.
There's my unsolicted advice for the day.

Mom to Almost Four said...

Hey there!

I know the week ahead will not be easy for you or the kids. I will be praying for the situation. Maybe you and dh could find some time tonight for a talk before he leaves. I know somtimes it is necessary for us frazzled wives to tell our husbands that we need a break. Sometimes they just don't know how we feel - even if they are the most sensitive kind of guy. :) Also, too offer it all up in prayer to God - he can give you strength, courage and insight.

Kelly said...

Holy crap. Is it wrong of me to have laughed a bit at your rant, the part near the end about them being mistaken for a couple? Because I literally laughed. Out loud. The rest wasn't funny though, I swear. We have a different arrangement here so I am not in your shoes, but I don't think you're out of line. It sounds like your husband has *no idea* what goes on during the day, and what you do at home makes it possible for him to do what he does during the day. I'm not expressing myself very well, but trust that I'm fuming on your behalf.

andria said...

Gee Beth,

I wouldn't even know how to go about something like that, but I thank you for the compliment. Maybe I will check that out sometime.

Michelle said...

Wow. I would be pissed after a day like that too...and coming on the heels of this 3-day weekend getaway turning into a week-long vacation minus wife and kids! Has he ever stayed home with the kids all day while you were gone so he can see just what it takes?