Monday, June 25, 2007

If I Can't Console My Child, Please Someone Console Me

Holy Shit! This morning was the worst morning yet. What demon possessed my baby?

Nothing seemed remiss at the buttcrack of dawn when my children decided they needed to be awake. Adam was happily eating his frozen waffle and Elizabeth was cooing in the swing when, for no apparent reason, she began wailing. Nothing new, she doesn't stay long in that swing, but this time removing her didn't solve the problem. I walked around and jiggled her for a bit, nope, that didn't work. I sat in the chair and went for old reliable...the boob. Now usually the mere sight of the boobs renders her as speechless as a preteen boy with his first nudie magazine, but not today. I whipped out the swaddling blankets and that just pissed her off more. Two hours later, she was still screaming like a banshee and by then hadn't nursed in four hours. She never goes four hours between feedings...NEVER. She's a two and a half hour on the dot nurser during the day so I started to get a little concerned. I went back and did the jiggle dance and swaddle bit but she was still summoning the dead so I tried to feed her again. You would have thought those boobs were shooting fire because that made her even worse and I didn't even know there could be a worse! So of course I do what any other insane, sleep deprived, ear shattered mother would do....I panicked. Well, just a little. I picked up the phone and called the husband which I am strictly forbidden to do. This is how it went:

Me: Can you hear her? Somethings wrong with her.

Husband: She's crying. Babies cry

Me: (shooting daggers with my eyes, babies cry??) No, this is much different and you know what else, she won't nurse.

Husband: Maybe she doesn't like your milk today.

Me: (why the hell did I call him?) Oh yeah, that's it. I added chocolate syrup to it just this morning, she apparently isn't a fan.

Husband: You know what I mean. Is she sick?

Me: Well she's screaming like she's got something wrong with her.

Husband: Does she have a fever?

Me: No

Husband: Then she's not sick.

Me: But when M's baby died she told me that she screamed all day long and she even had to go out on the porch to get away from it and then when she finally calmed her and set her in the crib she came back ten minutes later and she was dead. (Me now sobbing) This is just like that. I don't want her to die.

Husband: You are a f*cking lunatic.

Me: Should I take her to the doctor?

Husband: Do whatever you think is best.

Me: You're not helping me.

Husband: I'll call the doctor and make an appointment to bring her in and tell them you think she is going to die.

Me: click

So then I proceed to cry great big honking tears and pump some milk hoping maybe she'll take a bottle. Nevermind that she's never had a bottle before, surely she'll just love one in the midst of her tirade but as I was attempting to give her that bottle she scrunched her face all up and pooped. And pooped and pooped and pooped. After three diaper changes, she finally did nurse and fall asleep for a little bit.....ah, sweet peace. Poor, poor girl, she's doing a little better, but Mommy sure could use a drink.


Nikki said...

You can't make me laugh, cry and smile all in one post - no, I won't let you! I'm glad everything came out ok! :)

Tracey said...

Oh Andria. Can I smack your hubby for you?? Doofus. You don't mess with a mom like that. Just call the dr next time. It'll make you feel better. And I guess some prune juice or karo syrup should be kept on hand too??

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Ok, I'm going out on a limb here (but a familiar one so humor me). Have you tried eliminating all dairy from your diet? Could she just not be tolerating it right now? Just something to think about right now. It might help and it's really not that hard to do. I'm sorry things are so tough. I remember this type of screaming and hence the reason we are SO NOT having #3. There is no easy answer to it, but I hope that she just grows out of it magically in the next few weeks (my older son did). In the mean time, smack hubby upside the head, because he has NO IDEA what it is like.

Shane said...

Well bless both of your hearts! I'm so glad that it wasn't anything more serious. Yeah for poop!! :)

Miss Hope said...

Yeah, my husband makes really super smart observations like yours, too. Makes me want to hurt a human being and not mind the jail time.

Bless Miss Pretty's heart. I'm glad she found relief. You too!!!

Dana said...

Oh Andria, I would have been tempted to jump right through that phone line to give a serious beating! Guys are SO NOT HELPFUL! I'm so glad that it was something simple. Have you ever tried Mylicon drops before? I've used them with my boys as gas pains can be pretty painful for the lil ones. I hope you got that drink you needed! FYI, beer makes your breastmilk stronger....stronger is good, right?!?

Lori said...

Oh my gosh Andria....big, HUGE, (((((((hugs)))))) for you and a great big SMACK upside the head for your hubby.

Being a Momma is so scary're supposed to be able to make it all better, and when you can't figure out what the heck is's so nervewracking!

I'm so glad she's okay and that you survived. At least next time his happens, you maybe have an idea of what is going on. The first three or four months are such a guessing game as you get to know that new little person in your life.

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

Oh Andria. I have been there...quite recently. Why do they cry like that, it makes us feel so helpless.

Sorry your husband was less than helpful.