Monday, June 04, 2007

Sleep....The Impossible Dream

My husband broke my baby.

In fact, he broke all of my children.

Elizabeth will not sleep in her crib. She was doing pretty well when we first brought her home and I was cautiously optimistic that the beautiful and expensive crib might finally see some use.

Then I got the mastitis and some migraine headaches and the husband tended to the baby for a few nights so I could get some rest.....if you call one hour stretches rest, but anyway, after I took over again last week I noticed that placing Elizabeth in the crib resulted in strange banshee wails unless I rocked her silly for over an hour to ensure she was completely asleep and even then she would only stay there for about fifteen minutes before the wailing began meaning I was reunited with my new boyfriend Bobby Flay in the recliner for another hour. Lather, rinse, repeat all night long.

So this weekend the husband graciously offers to do the night shift with the baby (minus the nursing). The "nursery" used to be our guest room so it still contains the full size bed which works out well for the night shifter, no shuffling from room to room all night. So, on Saturday I was jolted awake realizing I hadn't fed my baby in over three hours (although that amount of sleep was heavenly) and went in to check on her. You won't believe what I saw......the husband drooling in a deep sleep holding Elizabeth on her stomach face down in a fluffy pillow while he was sprawled out in that bed. You have got to be kidding me! I was livid! Not only did the stomach sleeping pillow thing bother me, but dear Lord, he did the same damn all night holding thing with the other two kids and he still wonders why they don't like to sleep in their beds by themselves! Shit, Jacob was four before he quit coming into our bed and it took lots of Thomas trains and Chuck E. Cheese trips to make that happen.

So, I've been tramping up and down the stairs for weeks now working my ass off trying to get that little girl to be a crib sleeper, our first crib sleeper, and it was all for nothing. So last night I threw in the towel and figured we'd return to the old reliable co-sleeping regimen that worked with the boys and you know what? Elizabeth isn't interested in co-sleeping....hell, no. Elizabeth is only interested in being slung across a shoulder or snuggled in a lap all night long. She will sleep no other way. I slept maybe two total hours last night, it was a fight.....a fight I am losing because guess where she is now......stretched out on her stomach in my lap sound asleep while my legs tingle.

Why the heck can't my kids just sleep like normal children? What is wrong with them?

We WILL sleep in your bed and there's nothing you can do about it!

You put me down! How dare you not hold me in your arms! You will pay!

But you love me anyway because I am so darn cute and before long I will be this big and embarrassed by you, so keep on holding me while you still can.


Sadie said...


I must continue to read this type of posts to help suppress The Itch.

Tracey said...

Good God. Is she REALLY that big already?? Sob!!!

Can you find a pillow for your head while sitting up? Like a car headrest thingy? Just trying to think of something to help!

Lori said...

It's so hard...I know! One of my favorite things to do was to let the boys sleep on my chest after a nursing session. I never was able to really *sleep* though, b/c i was worried about them falling. I always cried when I realized they were too big to do it anymore.

Email me at so I can get the Hotsling to ya...I'm so glad you can use it! :)

Lynsey said...

I will try to get off on the right foot and make ours sleeps in the crib right from the start...

oh to answer your question- Im due June 27th-and I pray not a day later!

Dana said...

Have you tried maybe sleeping her in her carseat? Maybe she likes to be in a bit more of an upright position. Brennen sleeps in his bed, all night...but didn't for the first month or so because he was cold. He doesn't do that baby wailing thing fact, I've never heard him REALLY crying. He just doesn't do it! Before you go getting all jealous that my baby sleeps, remember this and smile.... I HAVE 5! BOYS!!!! and you have a darling baby girl! Enjoy the sleeplessness! You are very needed by your daughter. Before long, she WILL be a big girl. So, can't last forever!

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

Yeah, I know just what you mean. My son, he slept like a champ in his crib.

My daughter would like to be held at all times, especially in the middle of the night.

Shane said...

Both of my boys slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first several months. That way when they started to get fussy I would just put my hand on it and rock it back and forth a little until they dozed off again. Once the middle of the night feeding stopped, we'd start them in their crib. It was hard, but we'd put them in and walk away. Wait five minutes and then go back in and soothe them and then leave. We'd do that for however long it took for them to doze off...usually out of exhaustion, but it worked.