Saturday, June 30, 2007
Seriously, what is up with that? Elizabeth has been as jolly as a circus clown since going to the doctor yesterday. I think I actually heard her laugh today. It's been smiles and coos and big sweet eyes all day long except when she was napping......in her crib! She looks the same, but I swear, that isn't my child. Do you believe in alien abduction?
Honestly, I am beginning to think it may be the infant tylenol and that kind of worries me. I love the sudden happiness, but what if my poor girl is in pain EVERY DAY from something we don't know anything about? How stupid would I look asking my doctor to check my child because she's happy?
Or maybe she's just at that age where the colic mysteriously disappears......
Either way, we are loving the happy Elizabeth. We loved the grumpy one, but damn, laughing beats crying any day.
And did I mention she's sleeping in her crib? With her ticker? Alone? Yeah, I don't need to be blogging with you guys, I need to find my husband while I have these free arms. Opportunities like this don't roll around often in this crowded house.
Friday, June 29, 2007
But anyway. Elizabeth appears healthy. She weighs ten pounds, ten ounces and is 22 inches long. I appeared to be quite the idiot regaling tales of all day screaming fits and refusals to nurse while Elizabeth smiled and cooed and put on her best happy sweet baby routine for the doctor. She didn't even cry when they poked her with all four of those needles. Jab her with a sharp stick, nothing. Look at her funny, scream for hours. Whatever. But Adam, man Adam is such a sweet kid. He sat up there the whole time with his sister during those shots holding her hand, rubbing her belly, and kissing her head. He's just so empathetic. I swear he'll end up a doctor himself someday because he's always trying to help everyone.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Adam had his speech evaluation this morning. Three speech pathologists squeezed into our tiny living room and observed him and played with him and did some cognitive testing on him. His language development score was 19 months compared to his cognitive and social development which was over four years old. So, yeah, he'll be getting some speech therapy once a week until he turns three. They don't think he has any actual articulation problems just a lack of motivation to speak and the women let me know that my husband and I talk way too fast and we need to slow our speech down to the required Texas southern drawl for Adam to understand what we are saying. I think that's a load of crap as he can follow a three step direction given once, but what the hell, if they want slow speech, I'll give them slow speech. I tried it with Adam earlier and he looked at me like I was nuts. They also very slowly walked me through the IEP process and every time I would politely inform them that, uh yeah, I know the deal. I have a masters degree in this stuff after all, I could write a heck of a better IEP than they could, but since they are getting paid for it, I let them proceed. I hate having that IEP though. I hate that he needs one. Never did I ever think I would be on the other end of that process.
The Secret is working for me! I have been positively thinking about more money coming to us and just the other day an old man gave Adam a dollar at the Chinese buffet just because he was cute. It's a start.
You must get Brad Paisley's newest CD. It makes me almost forget he named his kid Huckleberry.
I think we have decided to go ahead and move Jacob on to first grade in August. I still have fears and and some uncertainty about it, but I do think it will probably be the best thing for him at this particular time. I met with his Sunday School teacher this week, the same lady who was his most awesome preschool teacher who has known him since he was three and whose opinion I value. She didn't feel he was as immature as his kindergarten teacher does and thought that the challenge of first grade would be beneficial to him and possibly help his social skills even more. If it turns into a big fiasco, the husband and I have agreed to pull him out and homeschool him for the remainder of the year and retain next year, but it will have to be a great big fiasco to take that step. At least we have a plan. Thank you all for thoughts and advice. I really did take them all into consideration.
Here is Elizabeth in the miracle blanket Beth mailed to her. We have been swaddling her since day one, but this one is wonderful because she can't kick out of it. She really does like it, I swear. Yes, I have food in my teeth. Aren't husband's required by vows to inform you of such things?
I don't think Adam could get any cuter......no wonder people are showering him with money.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Nothing seemed remiss at the buttcrack of dawn when my children decided they needed to be awake. Adam was happily eating his frozen waffle and Elizabeth was cooing in the swing when, for no apparent reason, she began wailing. Nothing new, she doesn't stay long in that swing, but this time removing her didn't solve the problem. I walked around and jiggled her for a bit, nope, that didn't work. I sat in the chair and went for old reliable...the boob. Now usually the mere sight of the boobs renders her as speechless as a preteen boy with his first nudie magazine, but not today. I whipped out the swaddling blankets and that just pissed her off more. Two hours later, she was still screaming like a banshee and by then hadn't nursed in four hours. She never goes four hours between feedings...NEVER. She's a two and a half hour on the dot nurser during the day so I started to get a little concerned. I went back and did the jiggle dance and swaddle bit but she was still summoning the dead so I tried to feed her again. You would have thought those boobs were shooting fire because that made her even worse and I didn't even know there could be a worse! So of course I do what any other insane, sleep deprived, ear shattered mother would do....I panicked. Well, just a little. I picked up the phone and called the husband which I am strictly forbidden to do. This is how it went:
Me: Can you hear her? Somethings wrong with her.
Husband: She's crying. Babies cry
Me: (shooting daggers with my eyes, babies cry??) No, this is much different and you know what else, she won't nurse.
Husband: Maybe she doesn't like your milk today.
Me: (why the hell did I call him?) Oh yeah, that's it. I added chocolate syrup to it just this morning, she apparently isn't a fan.
Husband: You know what I mean. Is she sick?
Me: Well she's screaming like she's got something wrong with her.
Husband: Does she have a fever?
Husband: Then she's not sick.
Me: But when M's baby died she told me that she screamed all day long and she even had to go out on the porch to get away from it and then when she finally calmed her and set her in the crib she came back ten minutes later and she was dead. (Me now sobbing) This is just like that. I don't want her to die.
Husband: You are a f*cking lunatic.
Me: Should I take her to the doctor?
Husband: Do whatever you think is best.
Me: You're not helping me.
Husband: I'll call the doctor and make an appointment to bring her in and tell them you think she is going to die.
So then I proceed to cry great big honking tears and pump some milk hoping maybe she'll take a bottle. Nevermind that she's never had a bottle before, surely she'll just love one in the midst of her tirade but as I was attempting to give her that bottle she scrunched her face all up and pooped. And pooped and pooped and pooped. After three diaper changes, she finally did nurse and fall asleep for a little bit.....ah, sweet peace. Poor, poor girl, she's doing a little better, but Mommy sure could use a drink.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
We have found the secret formula to help you sleep: swaddling. We tried it early on and you would whip those legs and arms out of that blanket faster than we could tie it up, but thanks to the miracle blanket, you calm more easily and conk out quickly and stay asleep for three hours at a time. All hail the miracle blanket. You hate the process of being wrapped up, but once there you are in hog heaven. Dr. Karp is a genius.
You smile! And coo! I can't get enough of your sweet face when you are happy. I even play with you at 3:30 a.m. because I don't want to miss a minute of it. Yes, you like to be awake in the wee hours of the morning. I guess I can't blame you as I'm sure you have no sense of time, but it will be nice when you figure out that dark means sleep. I can't complain, though, as you do sleep pretty solid from 9:00 until 3:00, only waking once, usually around midnight, to nurse. It's been nice having you in bed with me. I missed you so far away in that crib.
Your brother still adores you and you have begun to take notice of him as well. You are so happy to see him when he wakes up in the morning and he is just so delighted to see you smile at him. I cannot wait until the two of you can sit and play the matchbox cars he brings you all day, even if that does mean you'll have to grow up a little more.
Nine weeks old and counting.....it's like you've been with us forever, yet like you just got here all at the same time. We love you Sister.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
I have truly missed him.
But with him gone I have been able to put out of my mind the fact that he will be starting first grade in August. Maybe.
I am still struggling with his ADD issues and whether first grade is the right place for him. Somedays I think it is, other days I change my mind.
He's a smart little kid. He could read every kid in his class under the table and could creatively write them out the door as well. Academically he's a star. Socially, not so much. I have to decide, and soon, how we will proceed here. Right now he's enrolled in first grade but there is still a spot in that transitional kindergarten if we want it. Do we want it? I don't know. Somedays he seems right on track with other kids his age and I am so encouraged and then other times he acts like a three year old and my heart breaks when I watch his peers make fun of him. Maybe this is just the way life will be for him. Maybe he's just weird and no amount of retention will make a difference. Maybe if we up his meds he will finally settle down enough to pick up on the social cues and finally calm himself to a point where other kids want to befriend him. What if I send him to first grade and the other kids mature so far ahead of him and tease him and he starts hating school and possibly himself? What if I put him in kindergarten and he watches his classmates, the classmates he knows aren't as bright as he is, go on to first grade and his self esteem plummets or he's a ticking time bomb due to the boredom in class? I am going crazy over here. My mind changes a hundred times a day. I fear that whatever decision I go with, it will be the wrong one.
A big part of me just wants to keep him home with me. I know full day school is going to be hard for him. Shoot, he's going to VBS this week for four hours a day and already complaining. He even fell asleep there today. He struggled that half day last year. By the time lunch time rolled around, he was done. How in the world will he last eight hours? I have always thought that children of five and six weren't ready for full days of schooling. When I taught kindergarten and first graders the afternoons were complete wastes. Even the second graders had a hard time focusing after lunch until around Christmas. Wouldn't it be nice if kindergarten started at age seven or eight? That would be the perfect solution for me. Then my kid wouldn't have to start college until he was 21 which I think is the perfect age for that also. I mean, I wasn't ready to live on my own at 18, he surely won't be. Yes, let's just change the way the world does things to better suit my needs. I have solved my problem. If it were only that simple. I would probably go ahead and home school him this year if Elizabeth didn't take up so much of my time but, really, how can he mature socially with others if he isn't around others? I just want to do the best thing for my kid, I just haven't figured out what it is yet. August should be loads of fun.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
My husband and I have been married eight years today.
And my in-laws thought (hoped) it would never last.
We look so young and rested there. Three kids, two pets, two homes, five jobs, and three family medical crises later, here we are. I can't say it's always been easy and to be quite honest, I can't say we have always liked each other, but we have always been there for one another.
Like any other little girl I had big dreams for my wedding day but it turned into a chaotic freak show. My dad drove off in the car leaving my sister and mother at the motel missing their hair appointments. I got into a huge fight with the hairdresser because she was pissed they hadn't made the appointment while I am waiting there with my best friends wondering if they had been in an accident and killed. I arrived home to find my husband's family members scattered throughout my house, undressed for the wedding, four hours early, without RSVPing, using our ONE bathroom to spiff themselves up. Screw the bride and groom. Our house was a complete disaster following the rehearsal dinner we hosted the night before. Someone left the shrimp out and the place stunk. Derick's mom kept letting the dog loose and my cat was shaking under a bed somewhere. My aunt, who had my wedding dress (I still don't know why) got lost in our small town and arrived late to the church, but that was allright because I was late as well trying to get Derick's family off my couch and out of my house. I cried like a baby leaving my dog there alone knowing I wouldn't see him for a full week, honeymoon and all (oh, how times have changed). My sister had to drive back to retrieve my makeup and the ring-bearer pillow and I think the photographer had started drinking before the festivities. The wedding began around 3:30 instead of 3:00 like the invitations stated. The ceremony was short and sweet, I began cracking up in the middle of it for whatever reason and I look like a complete ditz on the video. My parent's neighbor pulled my veil off in the receiving line and I never could get it back on correctly so I had the worst hair day ever in my posed wedding photos. We made it to the reception in record time but apparently not soon enough for my dad who ran right up to us as they announced us in the door to let me know they wouldn't serve drinks until we arrived and I better go right then to let them know I was there because my uncle was paying for drinks out of pocket for everyone at the bar next door. The reception was a complete blast though. The food was awesome and the drinks kept flowing. By the end of the evening I just quit using the cups and drank out of the champagne bottles left on the tables, very bride-like I know. I mean, I was paying for that, I wasn't about to waste it. When I went to change for the drive to the airport motel, I realized I didn't have any shoes to wear on my honeymoon and my poor mom, the only sober one in the place, had to drive the half hour back home to fetch some. My dad and uncle got mighty tipsy and moved on to the bar after the drinks ran out. Our friends and my husband and me shut the place down. They actually made us leave, but that was allright because we were supposed to be at the Pittsburgh Hilton hours earlier anyway. So my wedding wasn't quite as fancy as I had pictured it as a little girl, but it was ours....chaotic and crazy and sometimes fun, just like our life has been.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Elizabeth hasn't slept in her crib in three nights. I haven't even tried to go there with her.
She is co-sleeping with me and we are getting some sleep. Not a full night of sleep, but more sleep than we've seen in many weeks and I haven't had to hang out in the recliner either. So long, Bobby Flay, it was fun while it lasted.
I actually feel good about this. I think I am a total attachment parenter at heart so I feel some relief heading back to my roots.
I wanted a crib baby mainly so I could nap her there in the afternoons and hang out with my non-nappers during that time. I also have an Angelcare monitor hooked up to the crib that is supposed to detect breathing lapses and, therefore, eliminating the need to lay my hand on her chest or stick my finger under her nose every half hour like I did with the boys. Am I the only mother who does that?
The ticking of that monitor was a huge comfort to me. You see, I live in complete fear of something happening to my babies. I know six families, personally, whose infants died from SIDS and wonder what is the connection, what happened to them and what's to say it won't happen to my baby as well. I know the odds are slim, but still. When Jacob was a baby, I actually convinced myself, in my PPD haze, that I could stay awake all night long and watch him breathe for an entire year, oh yes I did, until my body pretty much collapsed on me and I would fall asleep at the kitchen table or in the car......and I wonder why Jacob has so many issues. I have relaxed somewhat since then, I know I have done all I can to prevent this from happening to my daughter and aside from this post and my incessant need to hear that tick, I don't think about it much.
Anyway, we have turned a corner here in the Boy Crazy household. Thanks to Dr. Karp, the miracle blankets Beth so kindly sent me, the sling Lori generously gave me, and quite possibly the prevacid, the colic is slowly ending (knock on wood). Thank you all for the good advice and thanks Beth and Lori for going out of your way to help me out.
Friday, June 15, 2007
I strolled throught the mall yesterday afternoon and stopped in my favorite tea store. I hadn't planned to buy any, but they had an awesome sample that I could not live without so I went to the counter and told the teenage, nose-ringed dude that I would have some of that nice sample. Now, you buy the tea by bulk, two ounces for set price. I have been in this place before and ordered tea and that was the way they gave it to me...two ounces in a bag. So I tell teenage employee that I want a bag of the nice tea and Elizabeth starts to fuss and Adam tries to make a dash for the door and when I turn back around I notice he has two canisters out. I tell earring dude I only wanted the tea that was advertised. He showed me where, in very fine print, that the tea advertised is a blend so he has to mix two together to get what I am now totally craving. So I think about it a little, jiggle my screaming baby and decide, okay, it doubles the price but I can just see that scrumptious tea totally turning my day around in my head, shoot, it might make my baby quiet as I relax in my chair taking in the tea just like it shows on the picture on the wall. So, I say sure, I want a bag of that delicious tea. So after a few laps through the store and more tasty samples, I return to retrieve my bag of tea and I notice, that's not four ounces of tea. That's enough tea to to last me until my kids go to college. That dude filled that bag, I mean, it was bulging. So I told him I only wanted a bag of the tea and he looks at me like I'm a complete dumb ass because, frankly I must be, so I ask how much tea is in that bag....there's twelve ounces of tea in that bag! I am still working on the two ounces I bought back in March! Did I mention that each tea cost between four and five dollars for two ounces? So yeah, you can do the math. Apparently I was to specify how many ounces I wanted and, no, he couldn't unblend that tea so I am stuck with it. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all love tea. So, I get it home and decide to use The Secret and find the positive in the situation and am glad I have enough tea to have three cups a day if I wish, shoot, I can make iced tea! Yeah, I'm going to have some tasty iced tea with dinner. So, I take my hefty bag of tea from it's cute little bag and see teenager has slapped a huge sticker on it that says "100% of caffeine content. As much caffeine as a cup of coffee". Wonderful. There's a reason I drink tea over coffee, it's because I can't handle coffee after 11 a.m. or I'll be awake all night. Figures.
Birthing three children turns your brain to mush, but at least I will have that tea to keep me awake.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The colic is getting better though, in the sense that, well, she's not crying 18 hours a day anymore and just when I want to drive her back to the hospital and declare her defective she'll stop and smile at me and give a little coo and my heart will melt and I will then pronounce her the best baby ever until the next time.
Some of the things my husband does gets on my nerves. I am thinking about making it a weekly entry. I love him, but geez louise where does he come up with some of this stuff. Here's this week's pet peeve: When the husband finishes a drink from a glass, he insists that it sit on the counter instead of going into the dishwasher because he is going to use it again later that day. When I wake up the next morning there are at least five glasses scattered over various places on the counter and/or table. He NEVER reuses the glass. I can't sneak the damn glasses into the dishwasher, though, hell no, we have come to near blows over that. I will never understand this. I have bought paper cups for him and he does the same damn thing. My brother in law does this too. Is it some sort of man thing?
Have you heard of The Secret? I got this book at the library and thought, what the heck? It seems to be a lot of positive thinking and visualization mumbo jumbo but what's wrong with being a little happier and thinking of millions of dollars rather than the stack of bills in front of you, no? I'll let you know if it works....so far my visualizations of a non-colicky baby have not come to fruition. I guess Elizabeth doesn't know the secret.
I bought Seinfeld seasons seven and eight for Derick's Father's Day gift. He didn't necessarily want that and I only picked it up so I would have something good to watch during my nightly feeding/shushing/pacing routine. Is this wrong?
She's so sweet she makes my teeth hurt. The colic ends soon right?
Monday, June 11, 2007
I do, however, enjoy watching my newborn grow into a baby. She's pulling up and trying to hold her head steady. She is smiling and cooing and turning her head to follow us around the room. She has a double chin and thunder thighs and a perfect belly button. I could eat her up, she is that delicious, but she keeps growing, she won't slow down and that breaks my heart just a little with every new skill and every little outfit she outgrows. She's my last baby and I am trying so hard to hang on to every moment of it.
Next week, Elizabeth will be two months old. TWO MONTHS OLD! That means only ten more months until her first birthday. Didn't I just have a baby yesterday? In the chaos that is round the clock feeding and crying, two months passed by, how did that happen? My body has healed and the maternity clothes have been packed away. I am wearing exactly the same thing I was wearing when I found out she was coming. I am slowly learning to clean and cook and live our lives with an extra person around, we have figured out our new normal. This is our now. The newness is wearing off. I love the newness. I miss the newness. Sniff.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Janeen tagged me for this one a few weeks ago. I'm moving slowly these days......geez, can't figure out why.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
June 1997: I was teaching third grade in Virginia Beach and just finishing up the year. I was also trying to sell my cool townhome and packing my things into a u-haul because I was quitting that job and moving to West Virginia to live in sin with my future husband.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
June 2006: We had just arrived in West Virginia to spend a few weeks with the grandparents. I was vegging and loving it. I did nothing but hang outside by the kiddie pool and knit. Sometimes I would go out with friends and each one of them asked if I was going to try for a girl and I laughed my ass off after I choked on my beer.
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. lemon or lime slices
2. white cheddar cheez-its
3. snow cones
4. a tall glass of ice and Pepsi
5. Spoonfuls of peanut butter
Five songs that you know all the lyrics:
1. Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver
2. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard
3. Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks
4. 1985 by Bowling for Soup
5. The Goodnight Song on Noggin
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy a ridiculously extravagent house in a nice neighborhood
2. Set up trust funds for the kids
3. Get fifty yard line seats to every WVU football game and tailgate in the expensive spots in my cool RV
4. Travel the US in the same cool RV without worrying about gas
5. Buy A Louis Vuitton bag for me and all my friends just because I could
Five bad habits:
1. Eating too much junk food
3. Complaining, I'm getting better on that one though....too tired to bitch I guess
4. I can't leave things on the floor, I'm a neat freak
5. I waste too much money on clearance crap at Target
Five things you like doing: (Not in any order of importance)
3. Taking naps with Elizabeth and Adam in the recliner
4. Watching Food Network
5. Playing board games with Jacob
Five things you would never wear again:
1. a strapless dress
2. white pants
4. bras, once the bre*stfeeding is over
5. a bikini bathing suit
Five favorite toys:
1. My Laptop
2. The digital camera
3. Jacob's Gameboy
5. Itunes and Ipod
Let me know if you want to do this one too.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
We WILL sleep in your bed and there's nothing you can do about it!
You put me down! How dare you not hold me in your arms! You will pay!
But you love me anyway because I am so darn cute and before long I will be this big and embarrassed by you, so keep on holding me while you still can.