Sunday, February 18, 2007

I am White Trash and Proud of It

I have to chuckle a lot of the time just at the reactions of people confronted with a pregnant woman. I get lots of nervous banter and personal questions, par for the course.

A couple of weeks ago I attended an alumni dinner for my old college sorority and enjoyed my child free hours amidst the wine guzzling drinking women. The lady across from me noticed I was pregnant and got all sweet and gushy about having my first child when I politely informed her that, no, this would be my third child. That's when the table went quiet, like when the dudes from Animal House walked into that ethnic bar. I think I even heard the scratch of a record player needle. The lady beside me, who I am sure will be me in twenty years, said in her demure southern drawl, "Well, honey, according to our current society that would officially make you white trash now wouldn't it?" I did not take it personally and found it extremely funny because 1. I knew she was joking and 2. She was a little bit right.

I noticed early on, like at my wedding reception, that having that first baby is very important to others. I don't know if it was because I was thirty when I took the plunge or if everyone gets that, but a month after the wedding people were pretty forward with their questions about our future children. Fast forward almost two years later when that first baby was born and everyone was relieved and happy and letting me know that baby needed a sister and we better get on that right away because, you know it's a fact, your family isn't complete until you have one of each. Yes, we got a lot of that. As if you can place your order at the counter of God and He just send down what you desire. So number two arrived and according to some, he did not possess the right parts. Some gave us the old, "you need to try for a girl" like, when my son was twelve hours old and the rest just assumed that the government allotted our 2 point something something kids so we were done, no "perfect" family for us. Imagine everyone's complete surprise (including mine) when we announced we would spawn number three. The looks. The confusion. The shaking of heads. Three children? How can that be? We got a lot, and still do, of "you know what causes that don't you?" or, my favorite, "Are you Catholic?" It amazes me, but I still get a good laugh from it. The wine loving lady seated next to me at that dinner hit it head on, having more than two kids these days is almost unheard of and people do tend to wonder, WHY a family would venture into that realm. My grandmother had three children seventy some years ago and got the complete opposite reaction. She was not living up to her womanly duties by not having two handfuls of kids. I, on the other hand, am considered either saintly for "putting up with so much" but more often stupid or h*orny for allowing it to happen in the first place. My goodness what would happen if I had a fourth or even a fifth child?

Really, these comments and thoughts don't bother me. It's my family and if I want three kids or six kids, that's my choice (well, and the husband gets a little say). I do hate that some people think we are getting it on twice a day while ignoring our kids because that is so not the case but, whatever. I am sure my husband doesn't mind it. I do mind when people tell me, in front of my boys, that it will be a shame if we don't have a girl because, heaven forbid, we have another stinking boy, but that is a whole other post entirely. Don't even get me started on that one.


ChupieandJ'smama said...

I must come from the "white trash" state. Here in Ohio, 3 seems to be the magic number. Because we are planning on having only 2 (unless God says otherwise), we get looks like we are terrible people, especially because we have 2 BOYS. Don't we want a little girl? Our family must not be complete and I must not be feel complete as a woman. My answer is always the same. If we decide to have a girl, then Little Ming Ling will fit into our family just fine when I am ready to adopt her. People will always be rude, no matter what decision you make.

andria said...


I totally know where you're coming from. Total strangers always let me know that I should have a daughter or else my life won't be complete.

Amie said...

ROFL...if YOUR white trash, what does that make me?? :O

BethGo said...

Sheesh, we women are rough on each other. You're having a baby. What happened to "congratulations"?
I have an acquaintance who just gave birth to her fourth child, her fourth boy. Everyone talks of it as if it's some kind of tragedy because she didn't have a girl. And then there is always the eyeroll that it is her fourth. THE HORROR!
I don't get it really. I'd have four boys if I could. Boys are fun.
Really every child is a blessing.
And having many children only makes you white trash if you call them all the same name and let them run around barefoot in the snow in little wife beater shirts. Actually, that sounds kind of cute.

Shane said...

I get so aggravted too! Even my mother tells me we NEED to try for a girl. No, no we don't. I'm perfectly happy with the two BOYS the good Lord gave us thank you.

kelly jeanie said...

The only correct thing to say when someone says they're having a baby, no matter how old or how many kids they already have, is CONGRATULATIONS! And, the only thing to say to a hugely pregnant woman is, "You look wonderful!" :)

You can tell I live in the sticks. Up here, 3 kids is no big deal. It seems like a perfect size to me. I am just hoping for 2...I'd love to have more but we'll see!

Anonymous said...

I have three GIRLS, yes all girls. The comments I have gotton, "boys are so much easier, girls are too emotional". Aaaaww no gender is easier, it's all in how you look at life and what you take away from it. I am blessed to have 3 three beautiful daughters who are my best friends and always have my back. God decided long ago what I would get and I trust his judgement. The bible doesn't say bless the boy babies, but blessed be the child of God.

Dana said...

Well, I must be considered something....I don't know if it would be white trash though in California. Crazy maybe? AND, I have the double whammy of having 5 boys! So, obviously I have so many children because we've desperately been trying for that girl! People are very quick to tell me now that, "You have your very own basketball team!" I politely tell them, "Yes, but I really prefer baseball!" LOL

OneHungMan said...

You just gotta love people, don't you?

Lori said...

I'll never forget when we called my MIL to tell her that our 2nd was another boy. Her first comment was, "Oh, you'll love him anyway."...HUH??? WTF? Of course we will.

People are stupid...too many speak before they think, or else just don't think at all.

White trash...hehe!

Sadie said...

People just can't be satisfied. I get all kinds of crap for being *gasp* 32 and not having children yet. Worse, I'm not "trying" or even getting ready to be trying.

And the unthinkable thing is I might not have any at all. That makes me some sort of mutant.

Bless your heart. At least people don't start that conversation with me just because I look "childless."