My name is Andria.
I am a boymom.
Yes, it's true. If you have seen the caption at the top, I have two boys. I have zero girls. This officially makes me a boy mom.
It wasn't the way I pictured my life, in fact, I pictured curly headed carrot tops wearing frilly dresses and lacy anklets with their spit shined mary janes. Super heroes and match box cars did not compute in my unliberated brain. When I found out at 22 weeks pregnant with Jacob that he was a boy, all blood flow went to my feet and I started seeing stars. I almost passed out right then. It was hard not to cry, but I didn't....at least at that moment. I would stare at those black and white blobs and try to convince myself that the boy part I was seeing was something else....a tail maybe? I had no idea what to do with a boy. I have no brothers. My friends at that time didn't have boys. I knew ponytails and baby dolls. THAT was me.
Until I brought a boy home.
Who knew you could have just as much fun with a boy? That overalls are cute and hearing vroom, vroom would make you dig out the video camera? It took some adjusting, but I learned to relish my new role as a boymom. As I dug deeper into that one, those girly longings seemed to fade away more and more. I liked pitching softballs and digging in sand and hunting for bugs. I enjoyed buying little boy duds and baseball caps. I got excited when new Thomas trains came out. I am surrounded by Legos and Hot Wheels and it just seems right.
I never really thought much about Adam being a girl, I just knew from the beginning that he was a boy. I dreamt about him and, truly, I wanted another boy so that Jacob would have a brother he could be close to now and later in life. Adding that second boy just confirmed my boy mom status. I was getting good at it.
Now I hear daily....."I hope you have a girl this time," and it makes me wonder.
What if it is a girl this time?
What will I do?
I have no idea how to be a girlmom. I am just not a girl mom. As I wash the little newborn blue things and dig out my blue crib bedding, my husband asks, "What will you do if it's a girl?". It's weird, but I cannot even wrap my mind around that. I have gotten so used to doing things the boy way, I wouldn't even know where to start. I mean, I can't fix hair, I don't like Barbie dolls, and I absolutely hate pink. Now, that doesn't mean I won't love my child if it turns out to be a girl, I know that I will, it's just, well, different, weird, unknown.
At Jacob's birthday party I was chatting with one of the moms who has one boy, her only child, the only one she could have. She was telling me how upset she was when she found out her one and only was a boy. I told her I could relate. I also told her that I could never picture her with a little girl that she was just a boymom and she was good at it and she agreed. Then it dawned on me. All those times when I was crying over my missed baby girl and those well-meaners kept saying that God gives you the baby you are meant to have, the one who fits with you, that they were right. I can see it now.
I am a boymom. And I am good at it.
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