Monday, March 26, 2007


My name is Andria.

I am a boymom.

Yes, it's true. If you have seen the caption at the top, I have two boys. I have zero girls. This officially makes me a boy mom.

It wasn't the way I pictured my life, in fact, I pictured curly headed carrot tops wearing frilly dresses and lacy anklets with their spit shined mary janes. Super heroes and match box cars did not compute in my unliberated brain. When I found out at 22 weeks pregnant with Jacob that he was a boy, all blood flow went to my feet and I started seeing stars. I almost passed out right then. It was hard not to cry, but I didn' least at that moment. I would stare at those black and white blobs and try to convince myself that the boy part I was seeing was something else....a tail maybe? I had no idea what to do with a boy. I have no brothers. My friends at that time didn't have boys. I knew ponytails and baby dolls. THAT was me.

Until I brought a boy home.

Who knew you could have just as much fun with a boy? That overalls are cute and hearing vroom, vroom would make you dig out the video camera? It took some adjusting, but I learned to relish my new role as a boymom. As I dug deeper into that one, those girly longings seemed to fade away more and more. I liked pitching softballs and digging in sand and hunting for bugs. I enjoyed buying little boy duds and baseball caps. I got excited when new Thomas trains came out. I am surrounded by Legos and Hot Wheels and it just seems right.

I never really thought much about Adam being a girl, I just knew from the beginning that he was a boy. I dreamt about him and, truly, I wanted another boy so that Jacob would have a brother he could be close to now and later in life. Adding that second boy just confirmed my boy mom status. I was getting good at it.

But now.....

Now I hear daily....."I hope you have a girl this time," and it makes me wonder.

What if it is a girl this time?

What will I do?

I have no idea how to be a girlmom. I am just not a girl mom. As I wash the little newborn blue things and dig out my blue crib bedding, my husband asks, "What will you do if it's a girl?". It's weird, but I cannot even wrap my mind around that. I have gotten so used to doing things the boy way, I wouldn't even know where to start. I mean, I can't fix hair, I don't like Barbie dolls, and I absolutely hate pink. Now, that doesn't mean I won't love my child if it turns out to be a girl, I know that I will, it's just, well, different, weird, unknown.

At Jacob's birthday party I was chatting with one of the moms who has one boy, her only child, the only one she could have. She was telling me how upset she was when she found out her one and only was a boy. I told her I could relate. I also told her that I could never picture her with a little girl that she was just a boymom and she was good at it and she agreed. Then it dawned on me. All those times when I was crying over my missed baby girl and those well-meaners kept saying that God gives you the baby you are meant to have, the one who fits with you, that they were right. I can see it now.

I am a boymom. And I am good at it.


kelly jeanie said...

What a lovely post, Andria. And that picture of you and your boys is beautiful.

OneHungMan said...

OneHung always treasured having a little girl. He never had sisters, but found two that he somewhat adopted as sisters when he coached basketball.

He hoped to have a little girl just like the ones he coached. She would love her daddy the most and would be named Sydney.

OneHung didn't want a boy. This fact made Mrs. Hung cry when she found out she was having a boy. Both sides of the family were concerned what he would do when he found out that YoungHung was going to be a boy (OHM didn't know the sex until the child entered the world).

Fast forward three years and some change...OneHung couldn't imagine having a little girl. Boys are so much fun (when they're not being bad). Trucks beat the hell out of dolls any day.

You're a lucky mom...even if you do end up with a little girl.

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I love the picture! How sweet. And you're right, you're a great boymom. If you become a girlmom, you'll adapt and be good at that too. It's funny how we imagine our lives one way and then adapt to fit the way they really turn out to be. You'll be just fine. I always thought I'd have one of each (starting with the girl of course). But I'm a boymom. And I think I'm good at it. My boys seem realatively normal and they know I love them :) I don't think it's about boys or girls. It's about the MOM part.

Amie said...

I love that picture!

If this baby is a girl I have no doubt you will be a wonderful girl mom too:D

Sadie said...

I am glad to read this. I have always wanted a girl (when I get around to it) and am terrified of how I will react if I get a boy. I'm glad to know I'm not alone there.

But by the same token, if this baby is a girl, she will be awesome and you will too. She will have two big brothers to keep her from being a whiny sissy girl. And also to protect her if she is one. And you will know what to do.

You don't have to dress her in pink. She might hate it too. ;)

JNas said...

I am a boymom too! Everytime we go to a family gathering all I hear is "are ya'll going to try for a girl" I get so sick of hearing that and I always give the same reponse..."We already have four kids that we can barely afford" That pretty much shuts them up! Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a girl but I am satisfied with all the boys we already have!!

Lori said...

Just as you couldn't have imagined Jacob and Adam before their birth, you can't imagine this baby now, BUT, just as you can't imagine life without either of your precious boys, you won't be able to imagine life without this baby either. It will be the perfect "fit", no matter what.

I love that picture!!! I wish I had one that good with me and my look GREAT!! :)

Tracey said...

BTDT. I must say, I DO enjoy my daughter now, but another boy would have been wonderful as well. Hope you're feeling good.

Lynanne said...

Boy toys are so much more fun! I had a brother growing up and never got to play with all his cool stuff - legos, models, race track, hot wheels, and on and on. I'll never forget how I panicked when I found out that #3 was going to be a girl after two boys. It wasn't the reaction I had expected. My husband wanted the girl more than I did. Another boy would have been so much easier for many reasons.

Mamma said...

I had the same reaction. I'm close with my mom and couldn't imagine having a daughter to share that same relationship with. Three boys later...

I know how to do boys. They love their mammas and when I change girls diapers now it just looks like something is missing.

Plus, with all get to be the queen.

Lovely post!!

Lynsey said...

Something tells me that girl or boy, you'll continue to be the best mom that you can. That's all that matters! :0)

Sara said...

What a great post!!!!

I grew up an only child, and my firstborn was a girl. She was an only child for 5 years, then came my son, and they got another brother just 17 months later. Having just a girl for so long, it was all I knew. My boys are SO different from my girl(and myself!), I really do feel like they are a different species at times. :)