Saturday, May 20, 2006

Top Ten Reasons I Hate My Neighborhood

1. Cul-de-sacs provide opportunity for teenagers to make out and drink in your yard, while leaving their empties for you to pick up.
2. The barking dog, whose owners ignore him, keeps everyone awake, except said neighbors who refuse to silence it.
3. Apparently there is a clause in the homeowner's packet that states our driveway is a public parking area, we just weren't notified of that.
4. Our yard is also the neighborhood park, yet my kids aren't allowed to play.
5. We are also the neighborhood florist/greenhouse. We plant, kids pick.
6. If you like basketball, you can find a game here...after midnight on weeknights.
7. Our driveway is the local skateboard ramp...with dents in the garage door for added effect. You can also play daredevil here....go out and try to enjoy your own driveway with your own kids and hear wrath of prepubescent white trash let you know what they CAN do in your yard.
8. Why go to a concert when you can hear the latest hits here in your own backyard, after midnight of course
9. The keg party down the street at the home of the college guy whose parents bought a house for him and seven of his fraternity buddies makes me feel old and I can't drive my blooming SUV to my home for all the cars parked on both sides of the street.
10. I am tired of shooing the pitbulls from next door out of my fenced in yard.


Jennifer said...

I think I would become the serious b*tch of the neighborhood and start telling everyone off. Calling the pound on dogs and the police on kids!

andria said...

Oh, it's been done and it doesn't help. The neighbors hate me because I had the audacity to call the police to retrieve 2 vicious pit bulls from my yard 4 years ago when the owners wouldn't answer the door AND turned different neighbors in to animal control after their rottweiler escaped and attacked my dog and husband 2 weeks after that. I am just a bigot because my "white" dog taunts their "black" dogs. I have a lab, they have rottweilers and pit bulls, but WE are the ones who are wrong so none of the neighbors speak to us and if new ones come in and try to speak to us, the old ones quickly fill them in to what horrible people we are. It really is like the twillight zone here.

Tracey said...

Wow. You guys need to move. Is that a possibility? Your home should be a place you feel happy and safe in and it doesn't sound like you guys have that. Sorry, hon.

Shane said...

I agree with Tracey. I would seriously consider moving if at all possible. You should be able to enjoy every single aspect of your home...yard, driveway, quiet, etc. Good luck!

andria said...

We are in a bind, housewise. We cannot afford a bigger house and we are already running out of room in this one so we can't downsize yet. It's not so bad during the weekdays when everyone is at school/work, but the weekends and summer are the worst.

firstborn said...

as my husband would say, "f---" those people!!!!!

how awful for you & your lovely family!!!!

it's not fair, but i do believe in kharma...

don't worry, they'll get theirs, what's coming to them!