I am sick.
Who didn't see that coming?
I went to work anyway this morning since I don't have a fever and my fine motor skills have developed so that I can blow my nose AND cover my coughs and sneezes.
Three year olds...not so much.
The same parent who TWICE last week was told, HEY! YOUR KID IS SICK!, had to be called first thing after her sweetie sneezed green snot all over the kid in front of him. She showed up five minutes before pick-up time.
Three other parents had to be called for the same thing and THEY also waited until pick-up time to show up.
WTH?
And I wonder why their children do not follow any instructions I give them.
I mean, you get a call that your child is sick and you wait three hours to go and get him? Who does that? I could understand if they were working parents or maybe even had another child at home with them but to the best of my knowledge, they are home alone all morning. Must be nice. Damn, I was called a few months ago just to be informed that Jacob had a bellyache most likely due to his new meds and I left a full Target cart to rush up there. He is almost TEN fricking years old. These kids are THREE!
Grrr.....this is starting to really piss me off.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
PSA
If your preschooler is sick, please do not send them to school.
They will not miss something crucial. We are not studying for the SATs.
We color. We sing. We eat snacks. Oh, sure, we learn letters and numbers, but we'll be on the same letter tomorrow and I promise it won't matter much if they miss one day of fingerpainting it.
When you send your child to school with dripping green snot and are told not to bring them back until it's clear, we're serious. It's kinda mean to make your kid sit in the office for three hours because you don't believe he's really sick. Come feel his forehead, you might change your mind.
When you send your child to school sick, you make the rest of us sick also. If I get sick, my kids get sick, and I know you didn't know it was my kid's birthday this weekend, but it is and now, most likely, we'll be sick for it. What if I have to cancel my kid's party? What am I going to say to him? I know you didn't think of that before you sent your feverish kid to school, but it's possible and that will really suck for us.
When you send your child to school sick, he coughs on his friends, holds our hands with snotty fingers, and sneezes all over our toys. We had to throw things away today such as cotton and q-tips that couldn't be washed. We'll have to replace them. THAT is why your tuition goes up.
Please keep your child home when he is sick. When we point out the day before that, hey, he's getting sick, what we really mean, is, hey, don't come tomorrow. Learn it. Remember it. It won't hurt your child to miss three hours of fun time. It will also not hurt you to miss three hours of your fun time.
Please be considerate of your child's teacher and his classmates.
They will not miss something crucial. We are not studying for the SATs.
We color. We sing. We eat snacks. Oh, sure, we learn letters and numbers, but we'll be on the same letter tomorrow and I promise it won't matter much if they miss one day of fingerpainting it.
When you send your child to school with dripping green snot and are told not to bring them back until it's clear, we're serious. It's kinda mean to make your kid sit in the office for three hours because you don't believe he's really sick. Come feel his forehead, you might change your mind.
When you send your child to school sick, you make the rest of us sick also. If I get sick, my kids get sick, and I know you didn't know it was my kid's birthday this weekend, but it is and now, most likely, we'll be sick for it. What if I have to cancel my kid's party? What am I going to say to him? I know you didn't think of that before you sent your feverish kid to school, but it's possible and that will really suck for us.
When you send your child to school sick, he coughs on his friends, holds our hands with snotty fingers, and sneezes all over our toys. We had to throw things away today such as cotton and q-tips that couldn't be washed. We'll have to replace them. THAT is why your tuition goes up.
Please keep your child home when he is sick. When we point out the day before that, hey, he's getting sick, what we really mean, is, hey, don't come tomorrow. Learn it. Remember it. It won't hurt your child to miss three hours of fun time. It will also not hurt you to miss three hours of your fun time.
Please be considerate of your child's teacher and his classmates.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
WTH?
Please tell me the kindergarten "room mom"** did not just send an evite to the entire class inviting them all to her son's birthday party at the SAME. EXACT. TIME. as Adam's party.
She did NOT schedule her party the SAME. EXACT. TIME. three days after receiving MY kid's invitation.
It is on like donkey kong.
How do I keep finding these people?
**Because although she calls herself "room mom" she really isn't since she doesn't organize anything, I DO. Well, apparently she can organize an effing birthday party. At the SAME. EXACT. TIME as mine.
WTH?
She did NOT schedule her party the SAME. EXACT. TIME. three days after receiving MY kid's invitation.
It is on like donkey kong.
How do I keep finding these people?
**Because although she calls herself "room mom" she really isn't since she doesn't organize anything, I DO. Well, apparently she can organize an effing birthday party. At the SAME. EXACT. TIME as mine.
WTH?
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Stuff
1. What curse word do you use the most?
I have to pick a favorite? I think maybe I should have added swear less to my list of resolutions. I work in profanity the way artists might work in oils or clay. It is my true medium.
2. Do you own an iPod?
Yes. And when it's charged up I love it.
3. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Who forgets those things? Although I would much rather to like to forget it.
4. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
I would love to be in some pictures so my kids will remember what I looked like, but no one else in this house will ever use the camera.
5. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes. Under his breath usually.
6. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Hmmmm.....I don't think so.
7. What is the first thing you notice about someone to whom are attracted?
I have three children who tag along with me EVERYWHERE. All I notice is them. If I didn't they might break stuff.
8. To what are you looking forward?
Our next scrapbook weekend if we can ever find a time that works for everyone.
9. Do you own any band t-shirts?
I just found the Rick Springfield concert tee I got from a friend who went to his show in 1982. LOVE IT! I also have a Brad Paisley one with his autograph on it. I just wish I hadn't gotten rid of the cool Journey one I had 25 years ago.
10. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Last year when the little kids had a pukey virus for two days.
11. What did you do last night?
Made grilled cheeses, cleaned the kitchen, did two loads of laundry, bathed the children, finished the homework, watched The Middle, spent an hour attempting to get all children to bed and then finally gave up, let them sleep on my bedroom floor and went to bed myself.
12. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
The opposite. Almost all of my friends in college were guys. They were easier to get along with. I don't do girly drama well. Which is ironic since I have lots of girly drama now.
13. Who was the last person to make you mad?
Jacob who decided not to brush his hair, brush his teeth, put his shirt on the right way or wear socks to school today. He makes me mad most every morning.
14. To whom would you want to be tied for 24 hours?
Does an extra soft king size bed with 1000 thread count sheets count?
15. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
No. Just because I want to say no.
16. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
I got it. A daughter. And I don't want to hear from people who think I don't love my sons.
17. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
My mother is my favorite person. I would move back in with her if she'd let me.
18. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 Mustang?
And where would I put all these kids?
19. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
West Virginia, Louisiana, In the neighborhood across the street
20. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Neither. That's why pools were invented.
I have to pick a favorite? I think maybe I should have added swear less to my list of resolutions. I work in profanity the way artists might work in oils or clay. It is my true medium.
2. Do you own an iPod?
Yes. And when it's charged up I love it.
3. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Who forgets those things? Although I would much rather to like to forget it.
4. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
I would love to be in some pictures so my kids will remember what I looked like, but no one else in this house will ever use the camera.
5. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes. Under his breath usually.
6. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Hmmmm.....I don't think so.
7. What is the first thing you notice about someone to whom are attracted?
I have three children who tag along with me EVERYWHERE. All I notice is them. If I didn't they might break stuff.
8. To what are you looking forward?
Our next scrapbook weekend if we can ever find a time that works for everyone.
9. Do you own any band t-shirts?
I just found the Rick Springfield concert tee I got from a friend who went to his show in 1982. LOVE IT! I also have a Brad Paisley one with his autograph on it. I just wish I hadn't gotten rid of the cool Journey one I had 25 years ago.
10. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Last year when the little kids had a pukey virus for two days.
11. What did you do last night?
Made grilled cheeses, cleaned the kitchen, did two loads of laundry, bathed the children, finished the homework, watched The Middle, spent an hour attempting to get all children to bed and then finally gave up, let them sleep on my bedroom floor and went to bed myself.
12. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
The opposite. Almost all of my friends in college were guys. They were easier to get along with. I don't do girly drama well. Which is ironic since I have lots of girly drama now.
13. Who was the last person to make you mad?
Jacob who decided not to brush his hair, brush his teeth, put his shirt on the right way or wear socks to school today. He makes me mad most every morning.
14. To whom would you want to be tied for 24 hours?
Does an extra soft king size bed with 1000 thread count sheets count?
15. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
No. Just because I want to say no.
16. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
I got it. A daughter. And I don't want to hear from people who think I don't love my sons.
17. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
My mother is my favorite person. I would move back in with her if she'd let me.
18. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 Mustang?
And where would I put all these kids?
19. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
West Virginia, Louisiana, In the neighborhood across the street
20. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Neither. That's why pools were invented.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
My New Years Resolutions
Okie-dokie then...
1. I will learn my children's love language and use it. Often.
2. I will lower our grocery bill fifty bucks a month. Once I started working I got a little lazy and the last three months were well over what I typically spend. If I can drop fifty bucks that will take me to about $275. My hope is to keep shaving as the year goes on so I can get it back under $250.
3. Which also leads me to....more home-cooked meals. That little bit of extra cash and the close proximity to the new James Coney Island and Freebirds made me quite lazy. And thirty pounds heavier.
4. I say it every year, but I am going to really try to eat and serve more vegetables and less carbohydrates and sugars. There just aren't many veggies I like so it's hard to get excited about cooking them. I am going to do TWO meatless meals a week this year. Hopefully that will help our health and our finances.
5. I will take the little children on a fun outing every Friday afternoon. Adam only has a half year of half day school left. We will enjoy it.
6. I will take each child on a solo outing for at least an hour at least once a month. I haven't quite figured out how I'll swing that since there are no other adults around during their waking hours, but I feel this is important, especially for Jacob so I have to figure out a way.
7. I haven't done it yet, but I will be updating the children's chore charts and our reward system. We will continue using the tickets for positive behavior and my goal is to be much more consistent with it.
8. I will wake up a half hour earlier (oy, this will be the hardest one) so we aren't rushing out the door on work days. Non-work days....I will continue to drive them at the last minute in my pajamas.
9. If it isn't raining or below freezing, I will walk the 1.3 miles around the beautiful wildlife refuge in our neighborhood. We pay for that might as well use it. The kids and I both could get more sunshine and exercise.
10. I will blog once a week. This used to be my excuse for not updating the baby books, but now the baby books AND the blog are quite empty.
11. I will update the baby books.
12. I will limit my time on Facebook and all myaddictions. I did better last year but I could still do better. Half hour after work, fifteen minutes during afternoon snack, and anything else after all kids are in bed. Okay. Maybe this one will be the hardest. That Treasure Isle isn't going to dig itself.
And I will stop here because I don't want thirteen.
*spit on floor and throw the salt over my shoulder*
1. I will learn my children's love language and use it. Often.
2. I will lower our grocery bill fifty bucks a month. Once I started working I got a little lazy and the last three months were well over what I typically spend. If I can drop fifty bucks that will take me to about $275. My hope is to keep shaving as the year goes on so I can get it back under $250.
3. Which also leads me to....more home-cooked meals. That little bit of extra cash and the close proximity to the new James Coney Island and Freebirds made me quite lazy. And thirty pounds heavier.
4. I say it every year, but I am going to really try to eat and serve more vegetables and less carbohydrates and sugars. There just aren't many veggies I like so it's hard to get excited about cooking them. I am going to do TWO meatless meals a week this year. Hopefully that will help our health and our finances.
5. I will take the little children on a fun outing every Friday afternoon. Adam only has a half year of half day school left. We will enjoy it.
6. I will take each child on a solo outing for at least an hour at least once a month. I haven't quite figured out how I'll swing that since there are no other adults around during their waking hours, but I feel this is important, especially for Jacob so I have to figure out a way.
7. I haven't done it yet, but I will be updating the children's chore charts and our reward system. We will continue using the tickets for positive behavior and my goal is to be much more consistent with it.
8. I will wake up a half hour earlier (oy, this will be the hardest one) so we aren't rushing out the door on work days. Non-work days....I will continue to drive them at the last minute in my pajamas.
9. If it isn't raining or below freezing, I will walk the 1.3 miles around the beautiful wildlife refuge in our neighborhood. We pay for that might as well use it. The kids and I both could get more sunshine and exercise.
10. I will blog once a week. This used to be my excuse for not updating the baby books, but now the baby books AND the blog are quite empty.
11. I will update the baby books.
12. I will limit my time on Facebook and all my
And I will stop here because I don't want thirteen.
*spit on floor and throw the salt over my shoulder*
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
You Gotta Love People
I was going to type up my New Year's Resolutions this afternoon, but I just had the strangest phone call and thought I'd share that instead.
Okay. A little back story...
I have fourteen three (some now four) year old students. Most of them are only or first born children so this is their parents first school experience with their child. Many of them STILL walk their baby right inside the classroom even though they are strongly encouraged to use our right-at-the-curb-stay-in-your-jammies drop-off which was probably the deciding factor to me when deciding on a preschool for Adam. I mean, I don't understand why some of these people are showering AND applying make-up just to walk their kid twenty feet into the door. But, whatever.
Point being....some of these parents just bend the rules for themselves DAILY and also have some pretty lofty expectations as to what their three year old should be doing at this stage in the game, which I will tell you outright in case you didn't already know, it isn't reading at a first grade level. It's okay though. When I see Kid Two in a couple years I know they'll have figured it out by then. I did.
So anyway...
I am used to having to talk some parents back from the edge regarding academics and social skills, when I got a note this morning that M's mom wanted me to call her ASAP I figured she had a concern about her inability to write her entire eight letter name or the new bad word another child learned from her Papaw over Christmas break. Seriously...I just knew it was the bad word.
No.
As I brace for a conversation I can understand, she begins telling me she'd like me to fire my room mom because she didn't want her around her child.
Seems her child who hasn't spoken twenty words to, well, anybody, that I can tell all year, looked up at her mama at the Christmas party and told her, and I quote, "Mommy, did you just see that lady press her b++bies into Daddy's face? Why did she do that, Mommy?
And I must add here that Room Mom MAY have had some work done, OR she is extremely lucky.
And it might have happened that Room Mom did not inform phone call mom about the class book exchange although I was standing right there putting her child in her car when she actually DID walk to her window and write all the information down AT HER REQUEST. She was also upset that Room Mom did not include her in the mass emails even though she never returned the slip I sent home four times asking to release her personal info.
And they showed up for the Christmas program the following night because that room mom who never included her, apparently told her it was THAT night just to be mean to her child because she didn't want them there. Never mind that every single newsletter sent home each month since September stated in bold red letters the real day and time of the event.
Now, you should also know that this is the same woman who, along with her husband, had to be removed from the church building because their four-letter word argument had escalated to the point that everyone in that section of the building could hear.
Were they fighting over the b++bies? We may never know.
My mouth is still agape.
I mean, really?
I think I was able to smooth things over. She did stop yelling after a while, but Lawrd almighty, I am askeered for the Valentine Party.
I don't get paid enough for this kind of ridiculousness.
My boss owes me hazard pay for this one.
Okay. A little back story...
I have fourteen three (some now four) year old students. Most of them are only or first born children so this is their parents first school experience with their child. Many of them STILL walk their baby right inside the classroom even though they are strongly encouraged to use our right-at-the-curb-stay-in-your-jammies drop-off which was probably the deciding factor to me when deciding on a preschool for Adam. I mean, I don't understand why some of these people are showering AND applying make-up just to walk their kid twenty feet into the door. But, whatever.
Point being....some of these parents just bend the rules for themselves DAILY and also have some pretty lofty expectations as to what their three year old should be doing at this stage in the game, which I will tell you outright in case you didn't already know, it isn't reading at a first grade level. It's okay though. When I see Kid Two in a couple years I know they'll have figured it out by then. I did.
So anyway...
I am used to having to talk some parents back from the edge regarding academics and social skills, when I got a note this morning that M's mom wanted me to call her ASAP I figured she had a concern about her inability to write her entire eight letter name or the new bad word another child learned from her Papaw over Christmas break. Seriously...I just knew it was the bad word.
No.
As I brace for a conversation I can understand, she begins telling me she'd like me to fire my room mom because she didn't want her around her child.
Seems her child who hasn't spoken twenty words to, well, anybody, that I can tell all year, looked up at her mama at the Christmas party and told her, and I quote, "Mommy, did you just see that lady press her b++bies into Daddy's face? Why did she do that, Mommy?
And I must add here that Room Mom MAY have had some work done, OR she is extremely lucky.
And it might have happened that Room Mom did not inform phone call mom about the class book exchange although I was standing right there putting her child in her car when she actually DID walk to her window and write all the information down AT HER REQUEST. She was also upset that Room Mom did not include her in the mass emails even though she never returned the slip I sent home four times asking to release her personal info.
And they showed up for the Christmas program the following night because that room mom who never included her, apparently told her it was THAT night just to be mean to her child because she didn't want them there. Never mind that every single newsletter sent home each month since September stated in bold red letters the real day and time of the event.
Now, you should also know that this is the same woman who, along with her husband, had to be removed from the church building because their four-letter word argument had escalated to the point that everyone in that section of the building could hear.
Were they fighting over the b++bies? We may never know.
My mouth is still agape.
I mean, really?
I think I was able to smooth things over. She did stop yelling after a while, but Lawrd almighty, I am askeered for the Valentine Party.
I don't get paid enough for this kind of ridiculousness.
My boss owes me hazard pay for this one.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy 2011!
I stole this from Fran. I no longer have original thoughts.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Drove Interstate 10 alone from Houston to Lake Charles during rush hour traffic.
Left my kids with a babysitter for two hours to see a movie.
Had a biopsy.
Became a room mom.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't even remember last year's resolutions. I will make more this year and will post them. Eventually.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My good friend Meg had a baby boy in April. Her third. She is very tired.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thank goodness, no. But a high school friend died of cancer in August and I am thankful to Facebook that we were reconnected through them before that. With FB I'm sure I'd have never "spoken" to her again or even known about her illness/death.
5. What countries did you visit?
USA
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
I'd like my husband to come home from work before 10 pm and actually help out with the child-rearing this year. I really do feel like I did it all myself in 2010.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 21, when Adam started kindergarten. September 1 when I started my job with actual kids there. Who knew three year olds could throw chairs? Each of the kid's birthdays.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Landing a job without an application or an interview just having the director like me and think I'm a good mom. I still get a chuckle about that. If she only knew....
9. What was your biggest failure?
The whole took-Jacob-to-doofus-psychiatrist-and-switched-his-meds thing. I am still pissed at myself about it. And I better never run into that guy. Ever.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Geez. We've been sick the past two weeks. Eleven day virus my ass.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Crocs sandals and the eight 75 cent Christmas dresses I bought at the resale shop in January last year. Guess where I'm going today?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Elizabeth potty-trained herself in a week, Adam learned to read, Jacob went from getting fifteen demerits in a week to about three after switching to yet another medication we like much better.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Those same bitchy school mamas. I still don't get how grown women could find pleasure in slandering children. Their bully children disgust me as well. I was also pretty upset just watching the dynamics of the school and some of the teachers and the administration getting a good inside look since I work there now. I will post about that more later.
14. Where did most of your money go?
School tuition and taxes and in 2011 my entire paycheck will go to pay our huge increase in health care premiums. Thank you Mr. Obama.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our Woodlands vacation until we got there. My Christmas bonus. Every Tuesday there was a new Glee on. The WVU game we went to in October.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
"Part of your World" from Little Mermaid. Nothing like hearing Elizabeth sing that all day long.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a...about the same.
b....FATTER! I've gained 30 pounds since last year.
c....poorer! More taxes, higher health care premiums, more medications we can't afford. Thank you again Mr. Obama.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I'd kept up with the Friday home-schooling and our Monday afternoon outings. I think I'm going to try fix that in 2011.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yell at my kids (mainly Jacob) in the mornings.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With a temperature with my kids, husband, and parents and then most of the day I slept while the kids enjoyed their new goodies.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I fell in love with my 14 preschool students. I adore them. It makes getting up and going so early worth it. I love my job.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Glee, 30 Rock, The Office (although who else thinks it's really slow this year?), Mike and Molly, The Middle
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Now, we shouldn't say hate....but I really hate dealing with Jacob's bullies. I know they are children, but I don't get a warm fuzzy when I see them.
24. What was the best book you read?
I am currently reading The Five Love Languages of Children and hope it helps some. I love me some Kindle. I have fifty books downloaded and ready for the new year. I read a lot of Jodi Picoult last year and I loved them all.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I got really excited when I downloaded Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd onto my IPod. Does that count?
26. What did you want and get?
A kindle.
A semi-sorta maybe resolution in the bully situation. We'll see how that pans out.
A tube of Crabtree and Evelyn hand lotion
27. What did you want and not get?
Some friends for Jacob. The ability for him to fit in with his peers.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Toy Story 3
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 42 on my birthday. I took my dog to the vet and had chicken wings at BW3. Woo-hoo!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If my husband would've spent some more time with us and actually attempted to enjoy us. It's hard living with an unhappy person. My hope for him in 2011 is that he realizes that although he works hard to give all his money away, that it isn't his whole life.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Minimalist...no make-up, no fancy duds, sandals every day.
32. What kept you sane?
I think the new job, although time-consuming and tiring, has helped me have a greater perspective on my children's behavior.
And Frontierville. And Treasure Isle.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I was sad when Elizabeth Edwards passed, but that was it. I didn't really fancy her.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't do politics, but after seeing how much we have to pay so our next-door neighbors can get free health care, that pissed me off a little.
35. Who did you miss?
My friends in West Virginia
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My boss. I knew her before as a parent at the school, but in this new capacity I realize she will be a huge blessing in my life. I can learn a lot from her. She adores my children and is so accomodating to our needs at work with them.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
You are in control of your own happiness. Do not rely on others to make you happy.
Be frugal and save as much money as you can. You never know when the rug is going to be pulled out from under you.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Don't stop believing...hold on to that feeling..."
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Drove Interstate 10 alone from Houston to Lake Charles during rush hour traffic.
Left my kids with a babysitter for two hours to see a movie.
Had a biopsy.
Became a room mom.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't even remember last year's resolutions. I will make more this year and will post them. Eventually.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My good friend Meg had a baby boy in April. Her third. She is very tired.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thank goodness, no. But a high school friend died of cancer in August and I am thankful to Facebook that we were reconnected through them before that. With FB I'm sure I'd have never "spoken" to her again or even known about her illness/death.
5. What countries did you visit?
USA
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
I'd like my husband to come home from work before 10 pm and actually help out with the child-rearing this year. I really do feel like I did it all myself in 2010.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 21, when Adam started kindergarten. September 1 when I started my job with actual kids there. Who knew three year olds could throw chairs? Each of the kid's birthdays.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Landing a job without an application or an interview just having the director like me and think I'm a good mom. I still get a chuckle about that. If she only knew....
9. What was your biggest failure?
The whole took-Jacob-to-doofus-psychiatrist-and-switched-his-meds thing. I am still pissed at myself about it. And I better never run into that guy. Ever.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Geez. We've been sick the past two weeks. Eleven day virus my ass.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Crocs sandals and the eight 75 cent Christmas dresses I bought at the resale shop in January last year. Guess where I'm going today?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Elizabeth potty-trained herself in a week, Adam learned to read, Jacob went from getting fifteen demerits in a week to about three after switching to yet another medication we like much better.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Those same bitchy school mamas. I still don't get how grown women could find pleasure in slandering children. Their bully children disgust me as well. I was also pretty upset just watching the dynamics of the school and some of the teachers and the administration getting a good inside look since I work there now. I will post about that more later.
14. Where did most of your money go?
School tuition and taxes and in 2011 my entire paycheck will go to pay our huge increase in health care premiums. Thank you Mr. Obama.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our Woodlands vacation until we got there. My Christmas bonus. Every Tuesday there was a new Glee on. The WVU game we went to in October.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
"Part of your World" from Little Mermaid. Nothing like hearing Elizabeth sing that all day long.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a...about the same.
b....FATTER! I've gained 30 pounds since last year.
c....poorer! More taxes, higher health care premiums, more medications we can't afford. Thank you again Mr. Obama.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I'd kept up with the Friday home-schooling and our Monday afternoon outings. I think I'm going to try fix that in 2011.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yell at my kids (mainly Jacob) in the mornings.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With a temperature with my kids, husband, and parents and then most of the day I slept while the kids enjoyed their new goodies.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I fell in love with my 14 preschool students. I adore them. It makes getting up and going so early worth it. I love my job.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Glee, 30 Rock, The Office (although who else thinks it's really slow this year?), Mike and Molly, The Middle
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Now, we shouldn't say hate....but I really hate dealing with Jacob's bullies. I know they are children, but I don't get a warm fuzzy when I see them.
24. What was the best book you read?
I am currently reading The Five Love Languages of Children and hope it helps some. I love me some Kindle. I have fifty books downloaded and ready for the new year. I read a lot of Jodi Picoult last year and I loved them all.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I got really excited when I downloaded Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd onto my IPod. Does that count?
26. What did you want and get?
A kindle.
A semi-sorta maybe resolution in the bully situation. We'll see how that pans out.
A tube of Crabtree and Evelyn hand lotion
27. What did you want and not get?
Some friends for Jacob. The ability for him to fit in with his peers.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Toy Story 3
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 42 on my birthday. I took my dog to the vet and had chicken wings at BW3. Woo-hoo!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If my husband would've spent some more time with us and actually attempted to enjoy us. It's hard living with an unhappy person. My hope for him in 2011 is that he realizes that although he works hard to give all his money away, that it isn't his whole life.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Minimalist...no make-up, no fancy duds, sandals every day.
32. What kept you sane?
I think the new job, although time-consuming and tiring, has helped me have a greater perspective on my children's behavior.
And Frontierville. And Treasure Isle.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I was sad when Elizabeth Edwards passed, but that was it. I didn't really fancy her.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't do politics, but after seeing how much we have to pay so our next-door neighbors can get free health care, that pissed me off a little.
35. Who did you miss?
My friends in West Virginia
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My boss. I knew her before as a parent at the school, but in this new capacity I realize she will be a huge blessing in my life. I can learn a lot from her. She adores my children and is so accomodating to our needs at work with them.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
You are in control of your own happiness. Do not rely on others to make you happy.
Be frugal and save as much money as you can. You never know when the rug is going to be pulled out from under you.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Don't stop believing...hold on to that feeling..."
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas 2010
I'll never get a decent picture of my kids on Christmas Eve will I?
Oh well. These rotten ones are starting to grow on me.
I didn't get many pictures of the present gluttony. No one else would help me take any and I was spending to much time saying, "Show me what you got" and "Look
See? They looked fine.
Santa brought a nice dollhouse for Elizabeth. She loves it. She doesn't even mind that Santa just picked up any box willy-nilly not realizing there was a choice of families even though the picture was plain as broad daylight on the box. While we were skeptical of the outcome upon first sight, she never even noticed the difference. Elizabeth's loving family gets along just fine with her new Strawberry Shortcake and Toy Story 3 Barbie and the mama has a delightful weave extension that they all just adore. I hear them complimenting her on it all the time. Really.
Santa brought Jacob a nice, new DSi and the Kingdom Castle Lego Sets ($$$) he desired but they played second fiddle most of the day to the creepy toy hamster he picked up on sale on a whim (yay! a bargain! must get it!). Five dollars. O-Kay.
After we empty the stockings and inspect all that Santa supplied, we eat a short breakfast and then get back to business. The kids are usually fine with this although a bit antsy but this year Adam drove us absolutely batty wanting to open this one gift. I don't know what he was expecting, he never would say, but when we finally let him go first and rip that thing open he was in a rage. Adam. Was in a rage. Easy-going, laid-back, aw-what-the-heck-I'm-good Adam flew completely off the handle when he saw Sword in the Stone (which he loves btw). I should include the poor kid had a fever of about 101 and coughed the whole night through, but still. Completely out of character for him. Needless to say he missed five minutes of the festivities.
Aside from the funky dollhouse, Elizabeth had a very Belle Christmas. Three Belle dolls, a Belle barbie, and a costume, plus jewelry, cosmetics, and paper crafts all sporting the current favorite Princess. Santa had a hard time finding the right Belle baby because he kept sending his elves out for it who returned with not quite the correct replica and the coveted one could only be found on Amazon for quintuple the original price so he had to make some choices. Imagine his suprise when he found it at the grocery store of all places and the little Belle fan was right there! Screaming to take it home no less. It took some manuevering, but the big elf left his post at his very important job, sped all the way to the house to stay with her for fifteen minutes so Santa could go back and retrieve the ONLY BELLE to be found before someone else realized what a dusty gold mine they had there. It was worth it too. She rocked and cooed to that Baby Belle all day long and declared her "perfect". She has since included all the other Belles and is currently having a tea party with all three upstairs.
I must go get their picture.
The husband surprised me with a Kindle although we'd decided not to exchange gifts this year. I love me some Kindle. When it works. I'm going to let him go on his annual one week ski trip and not complain about it. I'm figuring that was his angle all along, but what the heck.
Another Christmas down. 363 more days until the next one.
Friday, December 24, 2010
And It's Only Day Five
Our family has been blessed this Christmas. One of my precious students, whose mother just could not let her miss the holiday party even though she had a 104 degree fever, graced me with not only a huge hug but a parting uncovered sneeze resulting in all of us being diagnosed with the 11-day virus which is currently making it's way around southeast Texas.
Yeah us.
At least that mama rewarded me with a whole $1 Target gift card before she drove away in her bright blue Hummer.
I mean, seriously, I just would've liked to have seen the look on the cashier's face when she requested ONE dollar. Really?
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but dammit. She made me sick. On Christmas. Bah, Humbug.
Anyway....
I need another week.
I have done no baking. There has been no decorating. Our tree is up but it's missing an entire box of ornaments that is still sitting outside the attic door waiting to be carried downstairs. Only half of the outside lights are strung. I forgot to buy Elizabeth's music teachers gifts. We haven't looked at Christmas lights. Our Christmas dinner needs to be started.
I am completely overwhelmed with all that needs to be done before tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out how we'll get two sick kids out of the house long enough to bring the big stuff out before midnight. I don't even feel like digging out the big stuff.
You know what else? My mom was here last week just long enough to be coughed on and now both my parents are sick as well. Too sick to make the three hour drive to see what Santa brings.
And the ham is staying with them too.
Wah.
I want a Christmas do-over.
Wondering if the kids will notice if it doesn't happen until New Years this year.
Yeah us.
At least that mama rewarded me with a whole $1 Target gift card before she drove away in her bright blue Hummer.
I mean, seriously, I just would've liked to have seen the look on the cashier's face when she requested ONE dollar. Really?
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but dammit. She made me sick. On Christmas. Bah, Humbug.
Anyway....
I need another week.
I have done no baking. There has been no decorating. Our tree is up but it's missing an entire box of ornaments that is still sitting outside the attic door waiting to be carried downstairs. Only half of the outside lights are strung. I forgot to buy Elizabeth's music teachers gifts. We haven't looked at Christmas lights. Our Christmas dinner needs to be started.
I am completely overwhelmed with all that needs to be done before tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out how we'll get two sick kids out of the house long enough to bring the big stuff out before midnight. I don't even feel like digging out the big stuff.
You know what else? My mom was here last week just long enough to be coughed on and now both my parents are sick as well. Too sick to make the three hour drive to see what Santa brings.
And the ham is staying with them too.
Wah.
I want a Christmas do-over.
Wondering if the kids will notice if it doesn't happen until New Years this year.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Christmas?
It's the first day of winter!
Brrrr....well, more like whew.
It's 85 degrees outside and I'm enjoying the weather my sweet littleterrors babies.
They are currently painting an early Christmas gift of wiggly wooden snakes stripped down to their underwear while listening to Let it Snow. Don't want to get paint on their clothes, you know.
If the neighborhood pool weren't locked, we'd head over there for the afternoon. And you know what, if I can figure out how to climb the fence it might still be an option.
I could bring my radio and turn it to the all-Christmas song station.
That would be a hoot.
Of course, we can always go sledding.....
Hohoho! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Excuse me while I set up the sprinklers between our holiday decorations.
Happy Winter Solstice from Texas ya'll!
Brrrr....well, more like whew.
It's 85 degrees outside and I'm enjoying the weather my sweet little
They are currently painting an early Christmas gift of wiggly wooden snakes stripped down to their underwear while listening to Let it Snow. Don't want to get paint on their clothes, you know.
If the neighborhood pool weren't locked, we'd head over there for the afternoon. And you know what, if I can figure out how to climb the fence it might still be an option.
I could bring my radio and turn it to the all-Christmas song station.
That would be a hoot.
Of course, we can always go sledding.....
Hohoho! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Excuse me while I set up the sprinklers between our holiday decorations.
Happy Winter Solstice from Texas ya'll!
Monday, December 06, 2010
Kitty Love
My cat and my doll.
This is a nightly occurence.
Phoebe was never interested in the boys. In fact, she spent much time hidden in closets or under beds while they were tiny. She still doesn't seem to notice them much, although she doesn't hide as much as she used to.
The day we brought Elizabeth home from the hospital we placed her in her crib and went back to check on her ten minutes later and right there beside her was that old cat. She was purring. Of course we didn't leave her there, but every chance she got she tried to sneak in.
It was like she was so grateful to finally have some more estrogen in the house.
Do cats have estrogen?
Anyway.
Elizabeth drags her, brushes her, puts stickers on her, rocks her, and attempts to dress her like a princess and that cat just takes it.
Twelve years that cat loved only me. She was part of our family, but she was my cat.
I think she's Elizabeth's cat now.
And you know what, I'm okay with that.
As long as she'll snuggle with me now and then.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
As If I Don't Have Enough to Do
Ya'll are so good to me.
Your support during my pity party was greatly appreciated. It's nice to know a girl has someone out there. Even if we haven't formally met yet.
Things are a little better this week.
I actually kinda like Jacob's new medicine even though it takes over an hour to begin working in the morning and the patch leaves raw red spots on his skin. It lasts longer than the last one so he is more tolerable in the evening. Of course, we saw Santa last week too, so I am sure that is helping some.
Yes. My kid is in fourth grade and still thinks Santa is one hip dude. I will milk this for as long as I can because as unpredictable as he is, I wouldn't put it past him to ruin it for his siblings.
That, and I really just enjoy seeing him get excited about something. He rarely does these days.
My MIL was here for over a week. I'd like to say these visits get better but they don't. My husband is always so pissed off after she leaves blaming me for the shambles that was his vacation week, but you know, I wasn't here a lot then. Thank goodness for that low-paying job. She has taken to lying. A lot. And wandering around the house all night long. Ten days of little sleep and complete confusion will wear at people. My husband is still an ass, but at least he's a less furious one.
I am kinda ticked off that Frontierville is requirine 200 side dishes and 20 RSVPs (THAT DON'T WORK) to complete the Thanksgiving feast mission. I mean. C'mon.
Oh, and the whole nobody stepped up to be kindergarten room mom leaving me to somehow being delegated the position.
Get this...
(And why I'm surprised about this, I don't know. Adam does go to Jacob's school)
Today is Grandparent's Day at the school. It's really a huge plea for donations masqueraded as a salute to the previous generation, but they make a huge deal over it. Kindergarten especially.
Last week a mass email was sent out by Adam's teacher requesting help on the day of and then another request when no one took her up on the first one. I shot back a reply all letting her know I could be there ONLY if Elizabeth was welcome too since, well, what would I do with her? She said that should be fine and I would be getting an email shortly from the room mom to let me know what my duties would be.
A couple of days later I went in and asked the teacher quite casually, yet a bit concerned, "Hey, what's up with the Grandparents Day thing?" to which she replied, "I have no idea".
Okey-dokey then.
And I promptly forgot about it because I have three kids, a job, meals to cook, and a house to clean.
Fast forward to yesterday, oh ten am-ish, when my email dinged with I can only describe as a vindictive nasty-gram from our "room mom" letting me know that
OUR CLASS IS IN CHARGE OF BRINGING TEA AND LEMONADE FOR 150 PEOPLE. THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS AS I WILL HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF GUESTS AND I ALSO HAVE CHILDREN. I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE THIS ON ASAP. OH. AND WE NEED 3 LARGE RECTANGULAR TABLECLOTHS. I CAN'T BRING THESE EITHER BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN.
And following that well-written piece of information was all the forwarded emails between the four kindergarten room moms and the organized of this fine event. There had been meetings. Our class was delagated to bring the above. Four weeks ago. I am guessing since room mom has kids it has taken her this long to forward the emails. Or, heck, even show up at any of the meetings because in the transcript of the holy Grandparent Day scribe it was noted, NO ONE FROM MRS. B'S CLASS WAS IN ATTENDANCE.
WTH?
Why sign up to be room mom if you so obviously can't take that on?
And do you have to be so capital-lettery bitchy about it?
So not wanting my kid's class to look bad today with bare tables and no drinks, I shot back a reply all email to the entire class to let them know I could stop at the store and get some tea and lemonade but I absolutely, no way in h-e-double hockeysticks had tablecloths, could someone else bring those?
And you know what?
Not one email back did I receive.
So I bought $20 dollars worth of beverages and brought them to the special Grandparent's Day room this morning where one of the other teachers was also dropping off her own stash of drinks because she was told our class wasn't participating.
WHAT?
So we had a lengthy conversation about all that was missed when "room mom" chose not to attend the meetings and let us know what we needed to do and apparently we're going to a Christmas tree farm and we have to buy our kids an ornament for the Nutcracker field trip and there's that party in a couple of weeks.
Okay then.
So I take my kid late with his Gammy in tow for the bigbeg fest program and I stop in to ask his teacher if she, in fact, has an actual room mom. To which she replied, "Well, not really....."
Seems "room mom" was gung ho to do it at the beginning but she's been having trouble even speaking with her much less getting her to do things.
She had to rely on her child's teacher's room mom (got that?) to help her with the grandparent day gifts they gave out this morning. They were so cute, too.
Guess whose kid didn't get one?
Guess whose teacher is busting her hump getting it slapped together before it's all over at 1?
So it turns out no one is putting together a Christmas Party. "Room Mom" is too busy with her children to do it. My mouth jumped ahead of my brain and told the nice teacher lady that if she'd just send me a list of parent emails I'd be happy to start that up.
Someone should really stop me from talking to people.
Of the fourteen kids in Adam's class, he is the only child whose mama works. Granted, it's only three days a week, but still, those three days a week are pretty full for me. Where are the other thirteen mamas? Damn. When Jacob was in kindergarten I couldn't volunteer for anything because someone else had already gotten to it. This time you can't even get anyone to bring a snack for those poor hungry boogers. (I bring most of the snacks too).
So this is the story of how I became kindergarten room mom.
I promise never to send out capital letter emails.
And I will stalk those who do not sign up to bring party goodies.
And I will do it all with my tiny child in tow and after work when I am bone-tired, just so youlazy other mamas don't have to lift a finger.
Your support during my pity party was greatly appreciated. It's nice to know a girl has someone out there. Even if we haven't formally met yet.
Things are a little better this week.
I actually kinda like Jacob's new medicine even though it takes over an hour to begin working in the morning and the patch leaves raw red spots on his skin. It lasts longer than the last one so he is more tolerable in the evening. Of course, we saw Santa last week too, so I am sure that is helping some.
Yes. My kid is in fourth grade and still thinks Santa is one hip dude. I will milk this for as long as I can because as unpredictable as he is, I wouldn't put it past him to ruin it for his siblings.
That, and I really just enjoy seeing him get excited about something. He rarely does these days.
My MIL was here for over a week. I'd like to say these visits get better but they don't. My husband is always so pissed off after she leaves blaming me for the shambles that was his vacation week, but you know, I wasn't here a lot then. Thank goodness for that low-paying job. She has taken to lying. A lot. And wandering around the house all night long. Ten days of little sleep and complete confusion will wear at people. My husband is still an ass, but at least he's a less furious one.
I am kinda ticked off that Frontierville is requirine 200 side dishes and 20 RSVPs (THAT DON'T WORK) to complete the Thanksgiving feast mission. I mean. C'mon.
Oh, and the whole nobody stepped up to be kindergarten room mom leaving me to somehow being delegated the position.
Get this...
(And why I'm surprised about this, I don't know. Adam does go to Jacob's school)
Today is Grandparent's Day at the school. It's really a huge plea for donations masqueraded as a salute to the previous generation, but they make a huge deal over it. Kindergarten especially.
Last week a mass email was sent out by Adam's teacher requesting help on the day of and then another request when no one took her up on the first one. I shot back a reply all letting her know I could be there ONLY if Elizabeth was welcome too since, well, what would I do with her? She said that should be fine and I would be getting an email shortly from the room mom to let me know what my duties would be.
A couple of days later I went in and asked the teacher quite casually, yet a bit concerned, "Hey, what's up with the Grandparents Day thing?" to which she replied, "I have no idea".
Okey-dokey then.
And I promptly forgot about it because I have three kids, a job, meals to cook, and a house to clean.
Fast forward to yesterday, oh ten am-ish, when my email dinged with I can only describe as a vindictive nasty-gram from our "room mom" letting me know that
OUR CLASS IS IN CHARGE OF BRINGING TEA AND LEMONADE FOR 150 PEOPLE. THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS AS I WILL HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF GUESTS AND I ALSO HAVE CHILDREN. I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE THIS ON ASAP. OH. AND WE NEED 3 LARGE RECTANGULAR TABLECLOTHS. I CAN'T BRING THESE EITHER BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN.
And following that well-written piece of information was all the forwarded emails between the four kindergarten room moms and the organized of this fine event. There had been meetings. Our class was delagated to bring the above. Four weeks ago. I am guessing since room mom has kids it has taken her this long to forward the emails. Or, heck, even show up at any of the meetings because in the transcript of the holy Grandparent Day scribe it was noted, NO ONE FROM MRS. B'S CLASS WAS IN ATTENDANCE.
WTH?
Why sign up to be room mom if you so obviously can't take that on?
And do you have to be so capital-lettery bitchy about it?
So not wanting my kid's class to look bad today with bare tables and no drinks, I shot back a reply all email to the entire class to let them know I could stop at the store and get some tea and lemonade but I absolutely, no way in h-e-double hockeysticks had tablecloths, could someone else bring those?
And you know what?
Not one email back did I receive.
So I bought $20 dollars worth of beverages and brought them to the special Grandparent's Day room this morning where one of the other teachers was also dropping off her own stash of drinks because she was told our class wasn't participating.
WHAT?
So we had a lengthy conversation about all that was missed when "room mom" chose not to attend the meetings and let us know what we needed to do and apparently we're going to a Christmas tree farm and we have to buy our kids an ornament for the Nutcracker field trip and there's that party in a couple of weeks.
Okay then.
So I take my kid late with his Gammy in tow for the big
Seems "room mom" was gung ho to do it at the beginning but she's been having trouble even speaking with her much less getting her to do things.
She had to rely on her child's teacher's room mom (got that?) to help her with the grandparent day gifts they gave out this morning. They were so cute, too.
Guess whose kid didn't get one?
Guess whose teacher is busting her hump getting it slapped together before it's all over at 1?
So it turns out no one is putting together a Christmas Party. "Room Mom" is too busy with her children to do it. My mouth jumped ahead of my brain and told the nice teacher lady that if she'd just send me a list of parent emails I'd be happy to start that up.
Someone should really stop me from talking to people.
Of the fourteen kids in Adam's class, he is the only child whose mama works. Granted, it's only three days a week, but still, those three days a week are pretty full for me. Where are the other thirteen mamas? Damn. When Jacob was in kindergarten I couldn't volunteer for anything because someone else had already gotten to it. This time you can't even get anyone to bring a snack for those poor hungry boogers. (I bring most of the snacks too).
So this is the story of how I became kindergarten room mom.
I promise never to send out capital letter emails.
And I will stalk those who do not sign up to bring party goodies.
And I will do it all with my tiny child in tow and after work when I am bone-tired, just so you
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Uncle
I give.
I'm done.
I'm tired and I don't think I have another ounce of energy to devote to anyone or anything else.
After all thatbitching fighting and the belief that maybe I got somewhere with the school administration, Jacob was pushed down into the dirt and forced to eat some and the recess aide gave him a demerit. I'm guessing she's still a little pissed about being called out on her lack of discipline. Oh, and one of the bully's moms? She's now a recess aide. Of course she is. I think the principal, teacher, and headmaster must have had a good laugh about us after we left that day. Gotta love Christians.
I took Jacob to the pediatrician yesterday in hopes of amiracle cure medication adjustment and we didn't see eye to eye about it. I wanted one thing, she wanted another, so obviously, we did what she wanted. I haven't tried it yet since it's more than half the dosage he's receiving now and don't anticipate he'd have a good school day, but I might, next week. Maybe.
We should be going to my parents to spend Thanksgiving with them and we will. The kids and me. My husband. He will stay home. Alone. You know, I even hesitate to even call him my husband anymore because it certainly doesn't feel like I have one. He leaves the house before 5 a.m and returns after 10 p.m. You might want to feel sorry for him because he has to work such long hours but really? He stays there because he wants to. Seems he made a mistake marrying me. Having kids....well, that really ruined his life. I'd leave him if I didn't know for full certain he'd use that against me to take the kids in spite. That and I need his money. And his health insurance. Oh, and a place to live. He won't leave me because to him, this all belongs to him. So we live in the same house and rarely speak. If we do speak it's rarely cordial. My stomach is in knots and I'm uncomfortable in my own home. It sucks pretty much.
As I type, my kids are fighting and screaming and possibly beating each other to death. I should get up and do something about it, but really? What good would it do? They'll just turn around and do it again. They learn a lot at that Christian school.
I have failed at being a mother. I have failed at being a wife. And because some of my three year old students can not yet read, to their parents I have failed at being a teacher.
I suck.
Can it all stop now?
I'm done.
I'm tired and I don't think I have another ounce of energy to devote to anyone or anything else.
After all that
I took Jacob to the pediatrician yesterday in hopes of a
We should be going to my parents to spend Thanksgiving with them and we will. The kids and me. My husband. He will stay home. Alone. You know, I even hesitate to even call him my husband anymore because it certainly doesn't feel like I have one. He leaves the house before 5 a.m and returns after 10 p.m. You might want to feel sorry for him because he has to work such long hours but really? He stays there because he wants to. Seems he made a mistake marrying me. Having kids....well, that really ruined his life. I'd leave him if I didn't know for full certain he'd use that against me to take the kids in spite. That and I need his money. And his health insurance. Oh, and a place to live. He won't leave me because to him, this all belongs to him. So we live in the same house and rarely speak. If we do speak it's rarely cordial. My stomach is in knots and I'm uncomfortable in my own home. It sucks pretty much.
As I type, my kids are fighting and screaming and possibly beating each other to death. I should get up and do something about it, but really? What good would it do? They'll just turn around and do it again. They learn a lot at that Christian school.
I have failed at being a mother. I have failed at being a wife. And because some of my three year old students can not yet read, to their parents I have failed at being a teacher.
I suck.
Can it all stop now?
Monday, November 08, 2010
The Aftermath
It wasn't that bad, really.
I wish they would've said they'd expel all the bullies right away, but of course, that's not feasible. Nice, yes, but feasible, no.
They (the teacher and the principal) were both very nice and very seemed to really want this behavior to end, not only with the kids Jacob deals with, but with the rest of school. They agreed this type of behavior has escalated in the five years Jacob has been there and the principal has said she has already dealt with many of very similar issues already this year.
You know, that's just sad. Why do you think so many kids are behaving this way? Discuss amongst yourselves. I have anstrong opinion on this. I'll share it another time.
Anyway...
This is what the administration has agreed to do for us:
1. Monitor the three main bullies and contact their families to let them know what is and has been going on.
2. If the behaviors continue detentions will be given and suspensions after that if necessary. As per the school handbook, three suspensions will have them expelled. The parents will also be notified of this.
3. There will be a meeting of the school committee to address the lack of a bully policy or even ONE bully rule in the school handbook. Something will be added for the books next year detailing the consequences of such actions (the detentions, suspensions, and then expulsions as mentioned previously).
4. The school will use one of the weekly chapel meetings to address bullying and respect for others. (This was something I REALLY wanted them to do. Right now their chapel time is filled with mission trip slides and many sleeping children).
5. The principal will meet with each recess aide to discuss their technique with dealing with bullying. They will all also attend a training class to teach them how to handle bullies and victims.
I am pleased with how it went. If nothing else, it brings to the principal's attention that this is happening, has been happening, and we don't want it to continue to happen.
Also, the looks on the bully's faces when they saw my husband, the teacher, and I standing outside the principal's door was priceless. I figure just for that they'll be on their best behavior at least tomorrow.
You'd think so anyway.
I wish they would've said they'd expel all the bullies right away, but of course, that's not feasible. Nice, yes, but feasible, no.
They (the teacher and the principal) were both very nice and very seemed to really want this behavior to end, not only with the kids Jacob deals with, but with the rest of school. They agreed this type of behavior has escalated in the five years Jacob has been there and the principal has said she has already dealt with many of very similar issues already this year.
You know, that's just sad. Why do you think so many kids are behaving this way? Discuss amongst yourselves. I have an
Anyway...
This is what the administration has agreed to do for us:
1. Monitor the three main bullies and contact their families to let them know what is and has been going on.
2. If the behaviors continue detentions will be given and suspensions after that if necessary. As per the school handbook, three suspensions will have them expelled. The parents will also be notified of this.
3. There will be a meeting of the school committee to address the lack of a bully policy or even ONE bully rule in the school handbook. Something will be added for the books next year detailing the consequences of such actions (the detentions, suspensions, and then expulsions as mentioned previously).
4. The school will use one of the weekly chapel meetings to address bullying and respect for others. (This was something I REALLY wanted them to do. Right now their chapel time is filled with mission trip slides and many sleeping children).
5. The principal will meet with each recess aide to discuss their technique with dealing with bullying. They will all also attend a training class to teach them how to handle bullies and victims.
I am pleased with how it went. If nothing else, it brings to the principal's attention that this is happening, has been happening, and we don't want it to continue to happen.
Also, the looks on the bully's faces when they saw my husband, the teacher, and I standing outside the principal's door was priceless. I figure just for that they'll be on their best behavior at least tomorrow.
You'd think so anyway.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Tomorrow
We meet with the school principal tomorrow afternoon.
The teacher will be there.
My husband will be there.
My notebook full of detailed infractions will be there.
I am strangely calm about this now, but I hate and avoid confrontation so things may change by 2 p.m.
And after that my mother-in-law will be here.
The sun will come out. Tomorrow. And hopefully tomorrow, I will have something positive to tell you.
The teacher will be there.
My husband will be there.
My notebook full of detailed infractions will be there.
I am strangely calm about this now, but I hate and avoid confrontation so things may change by 2 p.m.
And after that my mother-in-law will be here.
The sun will come out. Tomorrow. And hopefully tomorrow, I will have something positive to tell you.
Monday, November 01, 2010
Surrounded by Flamingoes
Damn. I should sign up for NaBloPoMo. I'm on a roll.
I feel like I should get a flag for my yard like the one that says, "Don't Tread on Me" (whose flag is that), but instead say "Don't Fuck With Me".
I am going in the morning, marching right up to the head honcho's office at Jacob's school and demanding an appointment with him ASAP.
Right in front of me as I was sitting in my car, three boys attempted to trip and shove my kid to the ground and then turn to me and make sure I saw. Then the recess teacher came out to me after she brought them in to let me know that the same three boys were shoving Jacob's face into the water fountain and he never could get a drink. The best she could do to them was to tell them to stop it. She relayed it to the teacher who, best to my knowledge, did nothing and dismissed them for the day. I won't bore you about how the same kids pushed mine back and forth because they are forced to let him play sports with them yet no one wants him on their team.
I pulled out the school handbook and where there's lots of consequences for wearing jeans (detention) and not completing assignments (suspension if it happens three times in a row), there was not ONE THING about how to treat others and what would happen if you didn't make a good choice there. In fact, the only mention of how to treat others states:
Students are expected to act in an orderly and respectful manner maintaining Christian standards or courtesy, kindness, purity, morality, and honesty. Students should demonstrate respect for teachers, staff members, other students, parents, visitors, and others at or away from school. Students are not to talk or be out of their seat without permission.
Of course. That stipulation at the end will get us kicked out of there, but nothing specific about how maybe you shouldn't spit on your classmates.
No bully policy whatsoever. Just gotta have respect for others but I'm sure that will be open to interpretation.
Who wants to bet we get asked to leave while the bullies get to stay? They really needed to add that little tidbit about how, well, if you donate tons of money and your kid is big and will likely help us win a regional football championship in a few years, ya'll can do whatever you want. Christian, Schmistian. Jesus was bullied so it'll be allright.
My kid could've lost a tooth today on that water fountain. You can bet I'd be asking those mamas to pay for his dental work. I may need to have him stitched up the next time he hits the pavement because those little devil's feet mysteriously were in the way. I WILL NOT pay for his funeral because some administrator sat there with his head in the sand pretending his school was a wonderful place. I may lose my job and my kids may have no place to attend school after next week, but dammit, someone has to make a stink about this.
Looks like no one else is going to do it, so it may as well be me.
I feel like I should get a flag for my yard like the one that says, "Don't Tread on Me" (whose flag is that), but instead say "Don't Fuck With Me".
I am going in the morning, marching right up to the head honcho's office at Jacob's school and demanding an appointment with him ASAP.
Right in front of me as I was sitting in my car, three boys attempted to trip and shove my kid to the ground and then turn to me and make sure I saw. Then the recess teacher came out to me after she brought them in to let me know that the same three boys were shoving Jacob's face into the water fountain and he never could get a drink. The best she could do to them was to tell them to stop it. She relayed it to the teacher who, best to my knowledge, did nothing and dismissed them for the day. I won't bore you about how the same kids pushed mine back and forth because they are forced to let him play sports with them yet no one wants him on their team.
I pulled out the school handbook and where there's lots of consequences for wearing jeans (detention) and not completing assignments (suspension if it happens three times in a row), there was not ONE THING about how to treat others and what would happen if you didn't make a good choice there. In fact, the only mention of how to treat others states:
Students are expected to act in an orderly and respectful manner maintaining Christian standards or courtesy, kindness, purity, morality, and honesty. Students should demonstrate respect for teachers, staff members, other students, parents, visitors, and others at or away from school. Students are not to talk or be out of their seat without permission.
Of course. That stipulation at the end will get us kicked out of there, but nothing specific about how maybe you shouldn't spit on your classmates.
No bully policy whatsoever. Just gotta have respect for others but I'm sure that will be open to interpretation.
Who wants to bet we get asked to leave while the bullies get to stay? They really needed to add that little tidbit about how, well, if you donate tons of money and your kid is big and will likely help us win a regional football championship in a few years, ya'll can do whatever you want. Christian, Schmistian. Jesus was bullied so it'll be allright.
My kid could've lost a tooth today on that water fountain. You can bet I'd be asking those mamas to pay for his dental work. I may need to have him stitched up the next time he hits the pavement because those little devil's feet mysteriously were in the way. I WILL NOT pay for his funeral because some administrator sat there with his head in the sand pretending his school was a wonderful place. I may lose my job and my kids may have no place to attend school after next week, but dammit, someone has to make a stink about this.
Looks like no one else is going to do it, so it may as well be me.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I Just Wanted to Squeeze One More Post Into October
We had plenty of uncostumed adults come around, and this year the added bonus of scantily clad preteens and teenagers. I mean, who buys naughty nurse outfits for their twelve year old? Really?
But anyway, it wasn't all bad....
I did let Jacob earn a few houses with extra chores and a hundred sentences detailing his remorse for his crimes. I probably should've stuck to my guns and denied him, but I figure I only have a few Halloweens left with him and I know he wouldn't fit into that 75% off 2009 clearance costume next year.
When we returned home, the kids found a Christmas show deep within the DVR and are already making plans for the Christmas tree.
Does that officially make it the holiday season?
Deck the Halls ya'll.
But anyway, it wasn't all bad....
I did let Jacob earn a few houses with extra chores and a hundred sentences detailing his remorse for his crimes. I probably should've stuck to my guns and denied him, but I figure I only have a few Halloweens left with him and I know he wouldn't fit into that 75% off 2009 clearance costume next year.
When we returned home, the kids found a Christmas show deep within the DVR and are already making plans for the Christmas tree.
Does that officially make it the holiday season?
Deck the Halls ya'll.
Happy Helloween.
I still feel bitchy.
So....
You know what? I don't really care for Halloween. The best part about it is seeing my kids in cute costumes but they do that everyday. If we want candy, I buy it at the store, so really? Halloween doesn't do much for me.
The kids, like all kids, think it's full of the awesome. Never mind that half their candy gets thrown out because they don't like that kind or the ends of their favorite costume gets frayed from dragging it down the asphalt street, but since everyone else loves it and is doing it, they must too.
Nine years ago when child one was a wee tot, I dressed him up and handed out candy to our old neighbors and was surprised to find so many "babies" trick-or-treating. I mean, my kid was eating solids at that time but there was no way I could make the argument that he was gumming caramel chews for dessert, yet there were newly birthed, still wrinkly red babies whose daddies were holding out their bag "for them". Really? I don't remember anyone doing that when we were kids. If you could walk, hold your own bag, and chomp the goodies, then you trick-or-treated. That was that.
As the years have gone by, I've noticed the adults are just scrapping the babies all together. Shoot, they don't even wear costumes. They hold out a used grocery bag and shoot me a scowl that says to me, "drop the Snickers or your dog gets it later", which from a thirty year old is kinda like extortion and isn't that a crime? I mean, shoot, we even taught our dog it wasn't nice to beg.
We now, and have for the past three Halloweens, lived in a gated community. The premise of which means you need to live here or know someone here to cruise our streets but, oh, to all the candy beggars it means we must have better candy than their place because each year someone actually jimmies the gate open and the whole town comes barreling through....MOST of them without actual children. On November 1, our homeowners association will have to pay part of our dues to have it fixed. Again.
Last year I bought ten bags of good chocolate candy. It was gone in fifteen minutes. I probably handed out one bag to our neighbors. Maybe four bags to kids.
I just don't understand why a grown adult would think it's okay to hijack a child's holiday just to save a few bucks at the supermarket. Or why they or their kids need so much of it. Wonder why America has an obesity problem? Maybe it started with Halloween.
This year my oldest has had his trick-or-treating privileges revoked so he will stay home with me and our bucket of candy. The good stuff. My neighbor's children will be treated nicely. I have another bowl filled with the apples and oranges that were on sale this week. I am just looking out for the gate-crasher's health.
Looking forward to November ya'll.
So....
You know what? I don't really care for Halloween. The best part about it is seeing my kids in cute costumes but they do that everyday. If we want candy, I buy it at the store, so really? Halloween doesn't do much for me.
The kids, like all kids, think it's full of the awesome. Never mind that half their candy gets thrown out because they don't like that kind or the ends of their favorite costume gets frayed from dragging it down the asphalt street, but since everyone else loves it and is doing it, they must too.
Nine years ago when child one was a wee tot, I dressed him up and handed out candy to our old neighbors and was surprised to find so many "babies" trick-or-treating. I mean, my kid was eating solids at that time but there was no way I could make the argument that he was gumming caramel chews for dessert, yet there were newly birthed, still wrinkly red babies whose daddies were holding out their bag "for them". Really? I don't remember anyone doing that when we were kids. If you could walk, hold your own bag, and chomp the goodies, then you trick-or-treated. That was that.
As the years have gone by, I've noticed the adults are just scrapping the babies all together. Shoot, they don't even wear costumes. They hold out a used grocery bag and shoot me a scowl that says to me, "drop the Snickers or your dog gets it later", which from a thirty year old is kinda like extortion and isn't that a crime? I mean, shoot, we even taught our dog it wasn't nice to beg.
We now, and have for the past three Halloweens, lived in a gated community. The premise of which means you need to live here or know someone here to cruise our streets but, oh, to all the candy beggars it means we must have better candy than their place because each year someone actually jimmies the gate open and the whole town comes barreling through....MOST of them without actual children. On November 1, our homeowners association will have to pay part of our dues to have it fixed. Again.
Last year I bought ten bags of good chocolate candy. It was gone in fifteen minutes. I probably handed out one bag to our neighbors. Maybe four bags to kids.
I just don't understand why a grown adult would think it's okay to hijack a child's holiday just to save a few bucks at the supermarket. Or why they or their kids need so much of it. Wonder why America has an obesity problem? Maybe it started with Halloween.
This year my oldest has had his trick-or-treating privileges revoked so he will stay home with me and our bucket of candy. The good stuff. My neighbor's children will be treated nicely. I have another bowl filled with the apples and oranges that were on sale this week. I am just looking out for the gate-crasher's health.
Looking forward to November ya'll.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Intermission
I'll get back to my Jacob story soon, but right now, I'm kinda pissed and what good is a damn blog if I can't bitch about shit here?
And really? I'm probably the only one who reads me anymore anyway.
But if you do happen to stumble across this post, it may not make much sense because I'm writing from the hip in a snit so....you've been fairly warned.
Jacob had a field trip today. I HATE field trip day. Shit, I hate pretty much any school day where parents are invited to tag along because where some of their kids are little demons in size 1 sneakers, the parents, well, I guess it stands to reason those little devils had to learn it somewhere.
As you know Jacob attends private school so there's no bus so parents have to drive the kids to, well, everything. I could let him ride with someone else, but I'm not entirely comfortable with that especially since the last time I allowed it the mother held his lunch box hostage for three weeks and then excluded only MY KID from the huge birthday bash she threw a few weeks after that. The other "Christian" parents, well, they apparently have perfect children because after an afternoon with my kid, I start getting "the look".
I got "the look" again this morning while stomping through some wretched excuse for a nature trail while my excited fourth grader ran away from the pack to see a huge spider, pick up some cool acorns, and gather some trash. I got it again as his arm continued to shoot up to ask a question that never really was a question, but a story, and, OMG, how dare he try to share a story. I got it again when he put ten paces between himself and the girl in front of him, that girl, and stuck his fingers in his ears when I tried to reason with him.
To all these perfect parents, and I've encountered millions of them in the almost ten years we've lived with our son, I am subpar parent. They shake their heads at my supposed lack of discipline, they move away from us little by little, they shield their children from us with their arm and lead them away as if what my child, what WE, have is contagious or maybe I'll run over, the awful parent I am, and eat their child because, well, why did an animal like me have a child?
We were kicked out of Mother's Day Out because Jacob wasn't "capable of instruction" and "couldn't follow directions". He was two.
We were kicked out of Sunday School because Jacob was "too rough" and "madethe head deacons a child cry". He was three.
We were not invited to one birthday party in preschool although the rest of the class was because "there wasn't enough space". He was four.
We were asked to change Gymboree classes because another mother "was scared of him". He was FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. All. His. Life.
You know what? I'm fucking sick of it.
Yes. My kid is weird. He talks a lot. He has TONS of exuberence over EVERYTHING he sees and you know what? What the hell is wrong with that?
Why is my kid getting the shit beat out of him on a weekly basis because he runs funny and can't play football? Why the fuck do we give a shit if all the boys can play football? All the football stars from my high school are now fat and living off welfare, the welfare my non-athletic husband is paying for with the 45% taxes he donates every paycheck.
Why am I a bad parent because my kid talks to your kid, oh exalted Christian school mother? Why are you not the bad parent because you drag your kid away with "the look"? My kid doesn't know a stranger. To him, everyone is his friend, well, until a few weeks ago when he learned to be mean to "that girl" thanks to your kid who taught him the meaning of ugly, stupid, and retard and who now thinks this is the way boys are supposed to act. But go on, keep giving me the look, your child is "cool" and has many friends so therefore you must be doing something right.
Also, maybe next time look behind you before you start calling my kid a retard to your giggly friend. I heard every word you said. Well, at least the English part. Maybe next time speak it all in Spanish because I know there was more I didn't catch, but the finger pointing is usually a pretty good give away. I'd bring up how it was YOUR kid burying himself in pebbles and rocks on the playground after lunch and that's pretty damn weird, but you know what, he's a kid. Kids are weird.
Every day for the past nine years I have been judged. I have lost "friends". I've been given advice from strangers. I've been pitied. I've been talked about. I've been shunned. I've cried. I've been mad. I've begged for help. I've wondered why? why? why? And you know what? Fuck it. I teach my kids right from wrong. I attempt to instill in them good values and the importance of being kind to everyone. They've heard a few cuss words and certainly know what it's like to be yelled at, but they are loved. And disciplined. And they learn from living this life that some people are just assholes. Even the saintly Christian ones.
And really? I'm probably the only one who reads me anymore anyway.
But if you do happen to stumble across this post, it may not make much sense because I'm writing from the hip in a snit so....you've been fairly warned.
Jacob had a field trip today. I HATE field trip day. Shit, I hate pretty much any school day where parents are invited to tag along because where some of their kids are little demons in size 1 sneakers, the parents, well, I guess it stands to reason those little devils had to learn it somewhere.
As you know Jacob attends private school so there's no bus so parents have to drive the kids to, well, everything. I could let him ride with someone else, but I'm not entirely comfortable with that especially since the last time I allowed it the mother held his lunch box hostage for three weeks and then excluded only MY KID from the huge birthday bash she threw a few weeks after that. The other "Christian" parents, well, they apparently have perfect children because after an afternoon with my kid, I start getting "the look".
I got "the look" again this morning while stomping through some wretched excuse for a nature trail while my excited fourth grader ran away from the pack to see a huge spider, pick up some cool acorns, and gather some trash. I got it again as his arm continued to shoot up to ask a question that never really was a question, but a story, and, OMG, how dare he try to share a story. I got it again when he put ten paces between himself and the girl in front of him, that girl, and stuck his fingers in his ears when I tried to reason with him.
To all these perfect parents, and I've encountered millions of them in the almost ten years we've lived with our son, I am subpar parent. They shake their heads at my supposed lack of discipline, they move away from us little by little, they shield their children from us with their arm and lead them away as if what my child, what WE, have is contagious or maybe I'll run over, the awful parent I am, and eat their child because, well, why did an animal like me have a child?
We were kicked out of Mother's Day Out because Jacob wasn't "capable of instruction" and "couldn't follow directions". He was two.
We were kicked out of Sunday School because Jacob was "too rough" and "made
We were not invited to one birthday party in preschool although the rest of the class was because "there wasn't enough space". He was four.
We were asked to change Gymboree classes because another mother "was scared of him". He was FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. All. His. Life.
You know what? I'm fucking sick of it.
Yes. My kid is weird. He talks a lot. He has TONS of exuberence over EVERYTHING he sees and you know what? What the hell is wrong with that?
Why is my kid getting the shit beat out of him on a weekly basis because he runs funny and can't play football? Why the fuck do we give a shit if all the boys can play football? All the football stars from my high school are now fat and living off welfare, the welfare my non-athletic husband is paying for with the 45% taxes he donates every paycheck.
Why am I a bad parent because my kid talks to your kid, oh exalted Christian school mother? Why are you not the bad parent because you drag your kid away with "the look"? My kid doesn't know a stranger. To him, everyone is his friend, well, until a few weeks ago when he learned to be mean to "that girl" thanks to your kid who taught him the meaning of ugly, stupid, and retard and who now thinks this is the way boys are supposed to act. But go on, keep giving me the look, your child is "cool" and has many friends so therefore you must be doing something right.
Also, maybe next time look behind you before you start calling my kid a retard to your giggly friend. I heard every word you said. Well, at least the English part. Maybe next time speak it all in Spanish because I know there was more I didn't catch, but the finger pointing is usually a pretty good give away. I'd bring up how it was YOUR kid burying himself in pebbles and rocks on the playground after lunch and that's pretty damn weird, but you know what, he's a kid. Kids are weird.
Every day for the past nine years I have been judged. I have lost "friends". I've been given advice from strangers. I've been pitied. I've been talked about. I've been shunned. I've cried. I've been mad. I've begged for help. I've wondered why? why? why? And you know what? Fuck it. I teach my kids right from wrong. I attempt to instill in them good values and the importance of being kind to everyone. They've heard a few cuss words and certainly know what it's like to be yelled at, but they are loved. And disciplined. And they learn from living this life that some people are just assholes. Even the saintly Christian ones.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Jacob Part One
Let's see....Where were we last about Jacob?
Oh yeah, Schizophrenic summer. Uh-huh.
So Jacob's meds were changed and he wouldn't sleep and he thought something was going to come and kill him and then we changed them back and after a few weeks he was back to "normal". About this time school was starting and the whole reason we went to that blasted psychiatrist in the first place, the ANGER, was starting again too.
I really don't know which was worse.
Of course, Jacob would be placed in a class with the same bullies he had in first grade. Of course those kids would start the year off calling him gay, pushing him down, and generally making his life miserable. Of course he's angry, I mean, if I spent eight hours a day in that kind of situation, I'd be pretty angry too, but seriously, it gets old when it's directed at ME, his mother, the ONE person who spends most of her waking moments trying to get everything fixed for him.
But anyway....
His teacher was on top of it all and did bring all of those kid's parents in and tell them she wasn't putting up with that behavior and they had detention for a while and it subsided for a time, but as it usually does, they have learned how to sneak around and continue their "antics" while making Jacob look like a liar when he begs for help. The teacher does what she can, but it goes no further. The administration refuses to believe that there are bullies in their Christian school, because, you know, Christians would never bully anyone. They are all full of love and kindness ALL. THE. TIME.
Yeah.
So he's still getting bullied, he's still angry, he's started lying so I never know when to really believe him if he says someone is bothering him because sometimes I've gone up there and, lo and behold, it's JACOB caught doing the bullying. It seems Jacob has found someone to bully.
This. Makes Mommy angry.
You'd think a child like Jacob who has spent pretty much every moment of his school life being tormented would have empathy for a child deemed unattractive, less smart, and puny, but no, you'd be wrong. My kid leads the pack in tormenting this poor girl, yes GIRL, pretty much everyday. He has even been to detention for it and you KNOW he was punished severely here for it. Privileges? LOL. Not for this child.
But you know what? None of that matters. He won't stop. In fact, he spends most of his day plotting his revenge on her because in his warped mind she is in love with him and SHE looks at him and OMG what if all those bully boys see and make fun of him????
So it all goes back to them.
Of course it does.
My kid did not make honor roll for the first time this nine weeks. My kid who made second highest average last year has second lowest average this year. He doesn't turn things in, he lies about having homework, if he has homework he fights me for hours before ever completing it, if he ever does complete it. We are paying $500 a month to watch him fail before our eyes.
He can fail at the free public school. If he won't put forth the effort, he won't be going there anymore. He has until next semester's bill is due to get it together. His therapist, though, doesn't think it matters to him. He's lost all desire to attend school at all. He sees moving schools as a pretty decent solution to his problems. Never mind that the neighborhood kids who bully him would be in his class there. Because, yes, he now has neighborhood bullies.
Of course.
Bullies, bullies, everywhere.....
To be continued.
Oh yeah, Schizophrenic summer. Uh-huh.
So Jacob's meds were changed and he wouldn't sleep and he thought something was going to come and kill him and then we changed them back and after a few weeks he was back to "normal". About this time school was starting and the whole reason we went to that blasted psychiatrist in the first place, the ANGER, was starting again too.
I really don't know which was worse.
Of course, Jacob would be placed in a class with the same bullies he had in first grade. Of course those kids would start the year off calling him gay, pushing him down, and generally making his life miserable. Of course he's angry, I mean, if I spent eight hours a day in that kind of situation, I'd be pretty angry too, but seriously, it gets old when it's directed at ME, his mother, the ONE person who spends most of her waking moments trying to get everything fixed for him.
But anyway....
His teacher was on top of it all and did bring all of those kid's parents in and tell them she wasn't putting up with that behavior and they had detention for a while and it subsided for a time, but as it usually does, they have learned how to sneak around and continue their "antics" while making Jacob look like a liar when he begs for help. The teacher does what she can, but it goes no further. The administration refuses to believe that there are bullies in their Christian school, because, you know, Christians would never bully anyone. They are all full of love and kindness ALL. THE. TIME.
Yeah.
So he's still getting bullied, he's still angry, he's started lying so I never know when to really believe him if he says someone is bothering him because sometimes I've gone up there and, lo and behold, it's JACOB caught doing the bullying. It seems Jacob has found someone to bully.
This. Makes Mommy angry.
You'd think a child like Jacob who has spent pretty much every moment of his school life being tormented would have empathy for a child deemed unattractive, less smart, and puny, but no, you'd be wrong. My kid leads the pack in tormenting this poor girl, yes GIRL, pretty much everyday. He has even been to detention for it and you KNOW he was punished severely here for it. Privileges? LOL. Not for this child.
But you know what? None of that matters. He won't stop. In fact, he spends most of his day plotting his revenge on her because in his warped mind she is in love with him and SHE looks at him and OMG what if all those bully boys see and make fun of him????
So it all goes back to them.
Of course it does.
My kid did not make honor roll for the first time this nine weeks. My kid who made second highest average last year has second lowest average this year. He doesn't turn things in, he lies about having homework, if he has homework he fights me for hours before ever completing it, if he ever does complete it. We are paying $500 a month to watch him fail before our eyes.
He can fail at the free public school. If he won't put forth the effort, he won't be going there anymore. He has until next semester's bill is due to get it together. His therapist, though, doesn't think it matters to him. He's lost all desire to attend school at all. He sees moving schools as a pretty decent solution to his problems. Never mind that the neighborhood kids who bully him would be in his class there. Because, yes, he now has neighborhood bullies.
Of course.
Bullies, bullies, everywhere.....
To be continued.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
First Day of School....
was weeks ago. I mean, progress reports came home yesterday. It's safe to say I am a little behind blogily.
Anyway, here are all my school children with their teachers on the first day:
Ah, Elizabeth. I can't believe I ever thought she wasn't ready for school. Her teacher adores her and says she is so very polite and very empathetic to the other children. One of her classmates has bad eczema and was crying because it hurt so bad and my sweet baby got up, sat beside her, put her arm around her and told her how sorry she was she felt bad. Of course, she also thinks she runs the place since Mommy works there, but so far so good.
Interesting fact. Years ago when I had only one child and my husband came home before the 10 pm newscast, I went to a monthly stamping class for about a year. Elizabeth's teacher was in that class too. Who'd a thunk eight years later I'd be working right next door to her and the daughter I didn't have then would adore her so much? Okay. So I thought it was kinda neat.
OMG. I still cannot believe Adam is in kindergarten. Sometimes when he comes home with papers that are less than stellar I imagine pulling him out and sending him back to preschool and it makes me just a wee bit happy. I know! What kind of mother wishes for her child to fail? He has a permanent tooth and goes to kindergarten and I swear he could still fit in the Baby Bjorn.
I would've posted a better picture because I am sure his teacher would like that if she ever googles and finds herself here, but this is all I have. It looked good that morning probably because I thought it was supposed to look that way through my tear-clouded eyes. Yes. I cried. A lot. Not just tears either. It was ugly and it was probably a lot of the reason Adam cried the rest of the week and into the next week. He's doing better now, but I have more to write about that. Let's just say for now, he didn't ease into school as well as I always anticipated and he doesn't just "get" the school work the way his brother does. What? No. I'm not thinking how nice it will be for him to go back to preschool.
Another interesting fact. Adam's teacher lives down the street from us. We used to see her and her children at the pool. Okay. It was neat to me.
And Jacob. Oh Jacob. Sometimes I want to change the name of this blog to The Bully Blog and document every. single. thing that poor child goes through every. single. day. He misses Mrs. Kilian. I miss Mrs. Kilian, but his new teacher is a good fit for him. She is the one Mrs. Kilian requested he have and she promised she was very much like her and I already see it. There have been two physical incidents that she took care of before I could even call her about it. She's talked to parents and administration and recess teachers and lunch ladies. She likes him. She cares for him. I trust her with him. So far. One day I may start my bully blog but until then just know it's still there but we're working on it. We're always working on it.
Three little school children.
I can't believe they're that big.
I miss my lazy baby days.
Anyway, here are all my school children with their teachers on the first day:
Ah, Elizabeth. I can't believe I ever thought she wasn't ready for school. Her teacher adores her and says she is so very polite and very empathetic to the other children. One of her classmates has bad eczema and was crying because it hurt so bad and my sweet baby got up, sat beside her, put her arm around her and told her how sorry she was she felt bad. Of course, she also thinks she runs the place since Mommy works there, but so far so good.
Interesting fact. Years ago when I had only one child and my husband came home before the 10 pm newscast, I went to a monthly stamping class for about a year. Elizabeth's teacher was in that class too. Who'd a thunk eight years later I'd be working right next door to her and the daughter I didn't have then would adore her so much? Okay. So I thought it was kinda neat.
OMG. I still cannot believe Adam is in kindergarten. Sometimes when he comes home with papers that are less than stellar I imagine pulling him out and sending him back to preschool and it makes me just a wee bit happy. I know! What kind of mother wishes for her child to fail? He has a permanent tooth and goes to kindergarten and I swear he could still fit in the Baby Bjorn.
I would've posted a better picture because I am sure his teacher would like that if she ever googles and finds herself here, but this is all I have. It looked good that morning probably because I thought it was supposed to look that way through my tear-clouded eyes. Yes. I cried. A lot. Not just tears either. It was ugly and it was probably a lot of the reason Adam cried the rest of the week and into the next week. He's doing better now, but I have more to write about that. Let's just say for now, he didn't ease into school as well as I always anticipated and he doesn't just "get" the school work the way his brother does. What? No. I'm not thinking how nice it will be for him to go back to preschool.
Another interesting fact. Adam's teacher lives down the street from us. We used to see her and her children at the pool. Okay. It was neat to me.
And Jacob. Oh Jacob. Sometimes I want to change the name of this blog to The Bully Blog and document every. single. thing that poor child goes through every. single. day. He misses Mrs. Kilian. I miss Mrs. Kilian, but his new teacher is a good fit for him. She is the one Mrs. Kilian requested he have and she promised she was very much like her and I already see it. There have been two physical incidents that she took care of before I could even call her about it. She's talked to parents and administration and recess teachers and lunch ladies. She likes him. She cares for him. I trust her with him. So far. One day I may start my bully blog but until then just know it's still there but we're working on it. We're always working on it.
Three little school children.
I can't believe they're that big.
I miss my lazy baby days.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
My Once a Month Post
Which is what it's really turning out to be. How sad.
I could still write three times a week, Lord knows we have plenty going on to talk about, there's just no time and, I swear to all that's holy, I am not giving up any of my precious sleep to indulge my own narcissism thinking people are actually reading our life anymore anyway.
So....where were we?
Oh. The haircut.
I never did do anything about it. I was too afraid of taking her somewhere, asking them to fix it, and then bringing home a child with a shaved head. I also didn't feel comfortable shaping it up myself so it is what it is. An interesting conversation piece. She's still pleased as pie with it so that's the end of that.
Jacob.
I never did do the gluten-free diet with him because my mom showed up one afternoon and took him home with her. For, like, two weeks. Until he drove her absolutely crazy and she brought him back home. By then school was starting and I just didn't feel like going there. I took his nightly melatonin away and after a few days he had no problems whatsoever sleeping in his bed, in his room, in the dark. Oh, he still prefers to sleep downstairs with us, but at least he's not clawing his eyes out and screaming when we refuse that request.
School.
Adam started kindergarten, oh, four weeks ago. I still have a hard time comprehending that he is no longer a non-verbal toddler. I mean, it just seems like yesterday I took Jacob to kindergarten while toting Adam along in the sling. He is my sweet baby. How can he be old enough for school?
So far, he's not real crazy about it. The first week there were many tears and one full tantrum meltdown. He's doing better, but if given a choice, he'd stay home with Elizabeth and me he says but I always tell him, he can't stay home with us because we aren't here while he's in school.
Elizabeth and I aren't home while Adam is in school because when he is at school, Mommy is at work.
Yes. I got a job.
I really did. Stop laughing.
Remember when I mentioned in passing that I'd put my application in at Adam's preschool and then pulled it?
Well. I got a call in late July from the preschool director wondering if I'd be interested in working there this fall. Seems two of the teachers and most of the aides moved on to bigger and better things over the summer and she had a lot of spots to fill and she'd really, really like it if I'd take one of the three year old teacher positions. Or an aide position. Whatever. So I thought about it a couple of days and although I really wasn't ready to go back to work and still feel a fair amount of guilt over putting Elizabeth in preschool so early, I jumped feet first and went straight for the teacher job. I didn't even have to interview for itbecause I am so full of the awesome. The pay isn't great but the hours are and I get free childcare in the form of free preschool tuition for Elizabeth. $1810 worth of free tuition. Ka-ching. I figured since I'd be sending her to Pre-K there next year anyway I might as well join the team now because who knows if there'd be any openings next year and that free tuition looked really wonderful to me. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday 8-12:15 with a once-a-month staff meeting where Adam and Elizabeth are welcome. The ladies I work with are friendly and my boss is really awesome. The first week was rough with lots of criers and many bitchy parents, but we're getting in the groove and it's getting better so I hope we have a good year ahead. At least I get home in time to see the end of All My Children.
There is much more to post but no time. It's Sunday and my husband is home and is stomping around bitching about how lazy I am and just dropped a full basket of laundry at my feet. Maybe I'll have a free afternoon this week to tell you about Jacob's new teacher or Adam's hesitation with school or how my husband mysteriously acts like Satan every Sunday morning after church, you know, when I'm not on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors the way G*d intended all wives.
I'm going to shoot for another post in September at least.
I could still write three times a week, Lord knows we have plenty going on to talk about, there's just no time and, I swear to all that's holy, I am not giving up any of my precious sleep to indulge my own narcissism thinking people are actually reading our life anymore anyway.
So....where were we?
Oh. The haircut.
I never did do anything about it. I was too afraid of taking her somewhere, asking them to fix it, and then bringing home a child with a shaved head. I also didn't feel comfortable shaping it up myself so it is what it is. An interesting conversation piece. She's still pleased as pie with it so that's the end of that.
Jacob.
I never did do the gluten-free diet with him because my mom showed up one afternoon and took him home with her. For, like, two weeks. Until he drove her absolutely crazy and she brought him back home. By then school was starting and I just didn't feel like going there. I took his nightly melatonin away and after a few days he had no problems whatsoever sleeping in his bed, in his room, in the dark. Oh, he still prefers to sleep downstairs with us, but at least he's not clawing his eyes out and screaming when we refuse that request.
School.
Adam started kindergarten, oh, four weeks ago. I still have a hard time comprehending that he is no longer a non-verbal toddler. I mean, it just seems like yesterday I took Jacob to kindergarten while toting Adam along in the sling. He is my sweet baby. How can he be old enough for school?
So far, he's not real crazy about it. The first week there were many tears and one full tantrum meltdown. He's doing better, but if given a choice, he'd stay home with Elizabeth and me he says but I always tell him, he can't stay home with us because we aren't here while he's in school.
Elizabeth and I aren't home while Adam is in school because when he is at school, Mommy is at work.
Yes. I got a job.
I really did. Stop laughing.
Remember when I mentioned in passing that I'd put my application in at Adam's preschool and then pulled it?
Well. I got a call in late July from the preschool director wondering if I'd be interested in working there this fall. Seems two of the teachers and most of the aides moved on to bigger and better things over the summer and she had a lot of spots to fill and she'd really, really like it if I'd take one of the three year old teacher positions. Or an aide position. Whatever. So I thought about it a couple of days and although I really wasn't ready to go back to work and still feel a fair amount of guilt over putting Elizabeth in preschool so early, I jumped feet first and went straight for the teacher job. I didn't even have to interview for it
There is much more to post but no time. It's Sunday and my husband is home and is stomping around bitching about how lazy I am and just dropped a full basket of laundry at my feet. Maybe I'll have a free afternoon this week to tell you about Jacob's new teacher or Adam's hesitation with school or how my husband mysteriously acts like Satan every Sunday morning after church, you know, when I'm not on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors the way G*d intended all wives.
I'm going to shoot for another post in September at least.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
This is Why I Don't Blog Much.....
....Because I can't keep my eyes off them for a second.
I thought it was so sweet when I walked into the living room yesterday and saw Adam combing Elizabeth's hair so lovingly. He does that a lot, so I wasn't too surprised. What surprised me was the flash of the green handles on my kitchen shears I caught out of the corner of my eye as I strolled by.
OH. MY. GAWD!
I don't have any pictures of the actual hair-cut per se since I was standing stupefied and uttering a few four letter words, but if you could've seen their faces. Oh, they were soooo proud. According to Adam, Elizabeth needed a hair cut to be ready for preschool and he was saving me a lot of money by doing it himself.
The smiles on their faces were absolutely priceless. I will carry those images with me the rest of my life. It really was sweet, you know, except for the fact that now there were two plastic baggies full of her beautiful baby hair all over our carpet.
Oh, they were so proud.
I am proud of myself because I let it go. I. Let. It. Go.
I could've made a huge, ugly scene about it, but why? Can't fix it. Seriously. You can't fix it. I can't even take her to a stylist to remedy it, she has BALD SPOTS. On just ONE side of her head. The only way to make her whole head the same is to shave the other side. Given that option, her punk rockerish style is kinda growing on me. You know, when it doesn't make me tear up a little and fill sorry for her when she actually does start preschool on the first of September.
I wonder if they'll let her wear a hat?
I thought it was so sweet when I walked into the living room yesterday and saw Adam combing Elizabeth's hair so lovingly. He does that a lot, so I wasn't too surprised. What surprised me was the flash of the green handles on my kitchen shears I caught out of the corner of my eye as I strolled by.
OH. MY. GAWD!
I don't have any pictures of the actual hair-cut per se since I was standing stupefied and uttering a few four letter words, but if you could've seen their faces. Oh, they were soooo proud. According to Adam, Elizabeth needed a hair cut to be ready for preschool and he was saving me a lot of money by doing it himself.
The smiles on their faces were absolutely priceless. I will carry those images with me the rest of my life. It really was sweet, you know, except for the fact that now there were two plastic baggies full of her beautiful baby hair all over our carpet.
Oh, they were so proud.
I am proud of myself because I let it go. I. Let. It. Go.
I could've made a huge, ugly scene about it, but why? Can't fix it. Seriously. You can't fix it. I can't even take her to a stylist to remedy it, she has BALD SPOTS. On just ONE side of her head. The only way to make her whole head the same is to shave the other side. Given that option, her punk rockerish style is kinda growing on me. You know, when it doesn't make me tear up a little and fill sorry for her when she actually does start preschool on the first of September.
I wonder if they'll let her wear a hat?
Sunday, August 08, 2010
WTH?
I have much to post about this week, but no time at the moment, but I wanted to leave you with this one question:
Is anyone else getting the Chinese spam in their comment box or is it just me?
And why can't I delete it?
Is anyone else getting the Chinese spam in their comment box or is it just me?
And why can't I delete it?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Experiment Update Week One
So here is where we are...
Last week Jacob took half his regular dosage of Metadate, his previously prescribed medication.
He spent all last week with my parents and was alone with them until Wednesday afternoon when I showed up with the other two children.
On Wednesday afternoon he pointed toy guns at me and let me know that he would likely kill me one day and how the day his siblings were born were the worst days of his life. Typical jealousy of suddenly having to share the grandparents or medication withdrawal? I'm thinking a little of both. He was kinda scary.
He did better on Thursday, possibly having gotten used to the fact that we weren't leaving.
I left Friday to spend the weekend with my scrapbooking girls and Jacob was still getting only one pill. I felt really sorry for my mother but when I called her on Saturday she said she thought he was getting used to the half dose because she couldn't really tell a difference between them anymore.
So I brought him home last night.
We have been using a ticket system where he earns one for chores completed without complaint. If he is rude a ticket is removed. He must earn twenty to play Wii for an hour. After two weeks he finally had twenty. I think that hour of Wii motivated him because he was really good last night even though his meds had worn off at 4.
This morning, so far, he hasn't had a pill at all. He fed the cat and the dog without being prompted. He hasn't screamed or made his crazy noises yet. Oh, and did I mention he slept until 8:45? He hasn't done that since, well, ever although he did sleep on the couch because he said it was too scary upstairs by himself so score one for anxiety.
I wanted him to go without any medication an entire week but my father-in-law will be here Thursday morning until next Monday so I anticipate needing to use it during that time. Why yes. The same father-in-law who has never even met Elizabeth, who we have not seen since 2006, and has never felt the need to ever visit decides NOW in the middle of my great experiment that he can't stay away another minute. Of course.
His visit also sets me back a few more days in beginning our gluten-free diet.
Oh yeah. We are going gluten-free. And possibly after that casein-free. This is an experiment after all. We may as well try it all. I'll elaborate more on that later.
So to recap: Jacob has been medication free since about 4ish yesterday. I see no evidence of his usual behaviors in fact he's been down right pleasant. Of course, he's been awake only an hour and his brother and sister aren't here to pester him.
Last week Jacob took half his regular dosage of Metadate, his previously prescribed medication.
He spent all last week with my parents and was alone with them until Wednesday afternoon when I showed up with the other two children.
On Wednesday afternoon he pointed toy guns at me and let me know that he would likely kill me one day and how the day his siblings were born were the worst days of his life. Typical jealousy of suddenly having to share the grandparents or medication withdrawal? I'm thinking a little of both. He was kinda scary.
He did better on Thursday, possibly having gotten used to the fact that we weren't leaving.
I left Friday to spend the weekend with my scrapbooking girls and Jacob was still getting only one pill. I felt really sorry for my mother but when I called her on Saturday she said she thought he was getting used to the half dose because she couldn't really tell a difference between them anymore.
So I brought him home last night.
We have been using a ticket system where he earns one for chores completed without complaint. If he is rude a ticket is removed. He must earn twenty to play Wii for an hour. After two weeks he finally had twenty. I think that hour of Wii motivated him because he was really good last night even though his meds had worn off at 4.
This morning, so far, he hasn't had a pill at all. He fed the cat and the dog without being prompted. He hasn't screamed or made his crazy noises yet. Oh, and did I mention he slept until 8:45? He hasn't done that since, well, ever although he did sleep on the couch because he said it was too scary upstairs by himself so score one for anxiety.
I wanted him to go without any medication an entire week but my father-in-law will be here Thursday morning until next Monday so I anticipate needing to use it during that time. Why yes. The same father-in-law who has never even met Elizabeth, who we have not seen since 2006, and has never felt the need to ever visit decides NOW in the middle of my great experiment that he can't stay away another minute. Of course.
His visit also sets me back a few more days in beginning our gluten-free diet.
Oh yeah. We are going gluten-free. And possibly after that casein-free. This is an experiment after all. We may as well try it all. I'll elaborate more on that later.
So to recap: Jacob has been medication free since about 4ish yesterday. I see no evidence of his usual behaviors in fact he's been down right pleasant. Of course, he's been awake only an hour and his brother and sister aren't here to pester him.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Our Great Summer Experiment
Okay.
Two months ago Jacob's behavior started getting more erratic, more aggressive, and more annoying.
Three weeks ago we finally met with a psychiatrist who was supposed to help us through all of that. His course of action was to replace his current medications with Concerta.
Two weeks ago Jacob began developing strange fears which quickly evolved into what I can only describe as nightly psychotic episodes.
Four days ago we discontinued use of the so-called "wonder drug".
Today Jacob has slept for the past three nights hearing no noises whatsoever. He's forgotten all about the robbers and killers that were surely waiting right outside the window for him every bit of those two weeks.
Phew.
$160 for the initial psych appointment
$79 for the follow-up appointment
$26.15 for a 10 day supply of Concerta
$8.65 for 10 Zoloft
$65.00 for the 90-day supply of Concerta I never should have filled
$238.90 to drive my child crazy for two weeks.
But the fact that he is now again "normal", and by normal I mean, inattentive, loud, and a little bit lazy.....well, priceless I guess.
He is currently taking the Metadate again, although my mom just today halved his usual dose and my plan is to have him off of even that one by the time he returns home on Sunday.
The rest of the summer might be really unpleasant, but I think it's something we have to try.
His therapist really does think he has an anxiety disorder. I've always thought so myself, too, even before Medicine Induced Breakdown 2010 occured, so I want him off of the stimulant medicines that Dr. Google assures me can cause anxiety to see if he actually has anxiety.
And then we'll go from there.
I may have him reevaluated. I may not.
It really just depends on what the next few weeks bring.
It makes me so sad to think I gave my kid drugs that completely altered his thinking.
I know the Metadate really helped him and we'll most likely return to it as school starts but for now, he'll be living drug-free.
Oy.
Two months ago Jacob's behavior started getting more erratic, more aggressive, and more annoying.
Three weeks ago we finally met with a psychiatrist who was supposed to help us through all of that. His course of action was to replace his current medications with Concerta.
Two weeks ago Jacob began developing strange fears which quickly evolved into what I can only describe as nightly psychotic episodes.
Four days ago we discontinued use of the so-called "wonder drug".
Today Jacob has slept for the past three nights hearing no noises whatsoever. He's forgotten all about the robbers and killers that were surely waiting right outside the window for him every bit of those two weeks.
Phew.
$160 for the initial psych appointment
$79 for the follow-up appointment
$26.15 for a 10 day supply of Concerta
$8.65 for 10 Zoloft
$65.00 for the 90-day supply of Concerta I never should have filled
$238.90 to drive my child crazy for two weeks.
But the fact that he is now again "normal", and by normal I mean, inattentive, loud, and a little bit lazy.....well, priceless I guess.
He is currently taking the Metadate again, although my mom just today halved his usual dose and my plan is to have him off of even that one by the time he returns home on Sunday.
The rest of the summer might be really unpleasant, but I think it's something we have to try.
His therapist really does think he has an anxiety disorder. I've always thought so myself, too, even before Medicine Induced Breakdown 2010 occured, so I want him off of the stimulant medicines that Dr. Google assures me can cause anxiety to see if he actually has anxiety.
And then we'll go from there.
I may have him reevaluated. I may not.
It really just depends on what the next few weeks bring.
It makes me so sad to think I gave my kid drugs that completely altered his thinking.
I know the Metadate really helped him and we'll most likely return to it as school starts but for now, he'll be living drug-free.
Oy.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
I Need a Good Night's Sleep. Or a Banana Daiquiri
So we went on vacation last week.
Against our better judgement.
We went to The Woodlands. Again. A few photos....
You'd think by the looks of that last one that we had a very restful time.
You'd be mistaken.
If you read my previous post, then you already know that we've been having a bit of a rough time with Jacob lately. My mom was still offering to keep him with her when we dropped the animals off at her house, but I just didn't feel that was fair at all. Rotten or not, he's still a member of our family so he should be included in the family vacation. At least that is what I kept telling myself every sleepless night we spent at that serene resort. You see, Jacob didn't sleep the entire time, therefore we didn't sleep the entire time.
I can't believe I thought the attitude and anger was bad, Oh Dear Lawrd, the night terrors and paranoia are enough to make me bang my head clear through the wall. Three nights without sleep makes Mommy (and Daddy) vvveeerrryyy cranky.
The days went well. He was agreeable (mostly) and found friends at the pool (which is big for him). But by nightfall he was a trembling, freaked-out mess. If he heard a noise outside he was sure it was robbers coming to kill us, if the air conditioner kicked on he'd start to cry and beg us to turn it off, he'd cower in a corner picking his palms until they bled begging us, "WHAT IS THAT NOISE?" and there would be no noise.
I'd like to say that we scooped him up and soothed him but after a couple or five hours of that it wears you down. There was much yelling, threatening, time-outs in the bathroom, and a couple of spankings that did no good whatsoever. We gave him melatonin, and another melatonin, sleepytime tea, and an adult Tylenol PM, and that did no good whatsoever either. The kid was convinced we would not survive until morning and as much as it pissed me the hell off because, dammit, that was my vacation! I should've been RESTING!, I felt so sorry for him. He was just so pitiful. Also, he scared the SHIT out of me because, HELLO?, my MIL has schizophrenia, what if it's genetic????
My husband wanted to leave after the first night, but I insisted we stay. I won a free night at that place and scored a pretty awesome deal for the next two so I was cashing in. There were awesome, awesome breakfasts to be eaten, feet to be rubbed, and a poolside bar to enjoy and after seeing my little two waiting patiently in their backwards swimsuits while their parents attempted to caffeine-up, I couldn't do it to them. And did I mention the breakfast. Mmmmm.....free breakfast.
So I did what I had to do to make the days enjoyable for all. I got drunk on banana daiquris at the poolside bar. The drunk removed the grumpy so all was right with the world. At least my world. Mmmmmm......banana daiquris.
He did sleep a little better the next night, but the last night was just awful. I truly expected my husband to get in the car and just leave us there. Remarkably, the little kids slept all week. Thank goodness. I would never want them to witness their brother like that.
So after our Woodlands vacation was over, we traveled north to get the animals and decided to just spend the holiday weekend up there with my parents as it was pouring in our part of the world and dry and sunny in theirs. Jacob (and the other kids) love it there and it's pretty calming for Jacob. Usually. I thought he'd sleep better there since he's used to the sounds and surroundings but if anything he was worse. In fact, as each night passed, he seemed to get worse and worse. There was nothing any of us could do for him and I'm ashamed to say that after a week of it, none of us were anymore understanding. We were all convinced he was either crazy or spoiled and about to punish him into even a short spurt of sleep.
You try going a week without sleep. See how calm and sweet you can be. My mom is the sweetest person alive and I think she seriously considered pitching a tent outside for him. Sadly, my mom developed Shingles on Sunday. I'm sure from the stress of it all.
So fast-forward to yesterday because I got nothing different, same noises, same robbers, same bleeding palms and shaking in a corner, same OMG-WE-NEED-SLEEP panic.
Yesterday, was our follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist who felt it absolutely necessary to switch Jacob's medications yet not at all address the anxiety his therapist sent us there for because, well, all kids are going to be afraid of some things and, he probably feels anxious because of all the bullying, I mean, who wouldn't, let's just change his ADD meds even though you all state he's doing pretty well with the other one.
So the psychiatrist wants to know how the new meds are doing and I tell him, WOW, they didn't work at first, but then they worked okay, and then somewhere in there he started thinking we were all going to be the victims of a bloody massacre, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT???? Well, the psychiatrist thinks that stimulant medications such as those given for ADD can cause anxiety, *shrug*, here's a prescription for Zoloft. Bring 70 more dollars in two weeks and we'll discuss if that works.
And the truly sad thing is that I just nodded, drove to the CVS, and filled that prescription PLUS the one for 90 days worth of Concerta, put my kid and his meds in my mom's car and sent him to spend a week with her because, GEEZ LOUISE, we need some fracking sleep.
It wasn't until this afternoon after listening to my mother recount their sleepless night and her suggestion that maybe, just maybe, the CONCERTA could be causing his fears/paranoia/schizophrenic tendencies, did that even cross my mind.
*DINGDINGDINGDINGDING*
WTH? Why did that NEVER occur to me? I read the insert that came with the drugs and it didn't say anything about completely losing your mind as the sun set, but Dr. Google and all those other poor souls who experienced similarities set me straight.
Then I did something completely unheard of. I called Jacob and asked himself. When did you start hearing the noises? The day after I took the grey pill. And it also makes him feel floaty.
Damn.
I told my mom not to give him another Concerta. Ever.
She has a few of his old meds left and will switch to those. I'm keeping him off the Zoloft too until I can determine if it was the medicine causing the anxiety or if he truly has anxiety and THEN I will treat it through his pediatrician. Or another psychiatrist if I can ever get an appointment with one.
I can't believe I didn't trust my kid enough to just KNOW it had to be something. Maybe it's not, but in my heart, I know it is. I took my kid to that place, let them take blood from his arm (which all I have to say about that is...HELL), switched his medications to make him feel all floaty, yelled at him for sharing (loudly) the noises and paranoia he was going through, all the time telling him to trust me, take your medicine, the doctor wouldn't give it to you if it wasn't going to make you feel better.
Yeah. Right.
According to Dr. Google and some other doctors who have specialists of ADD and shit like that next to their internet names, Concerta SHOULD NOT be given to children or adults with known anxiety disorders for just this reason. Now, Jacob has never been diagnosed with anxiety, but I told the psychiatrist specifically at our first appointment that the therapist and I both felt he suffered from it and the main reason I was there was to find a way for him to deal with that.
He's a freaking psychiatrist. Isn't HE supposed to know these things?
I guess this is why they could fit me right in and no other psychiatrist on our insurance could see us until fall.
AGH.
If it turns out we are right, it's the meds doing this to him, I think I'm going to call that "psychiatrist" and ask for the 400 dollars I've dished out to him so we can have a do over vacation.
I already hear the banana daiquiris calling me.
Against our better judgement.
We went to The Woodlands. Again. A few photos....
You'd think by the looks of that last one that we had a very restful time.
You'd be mistaken.
If you read my previous post, then you already know that we've been having a bit of a rough time with Jacob lately. My mom was still offering to keep him with her when we dropped the animals off at her house, but I just didn't feel that was fair at all. Rotten or not, he's still a member of our family so he should be included in the family vacation. At least that is what I kept telling myself every sleepless night we spent at that serene resort. You see, Jacob didn't sleep the entire time, therefore we didn't sleep the entire time.
I can't believe I thought the attitude and anger was bad, Oh Dear Lawrd, the night terrors and paranoia are enough to make me bang my head clear through the wall. Three nights without sleep makes Mommy (and Daddy) vvveeerrryyy cranky.
The days went well. He was agreeable (mostly) and found friends at the pool (which is big for him). But by nightfall he was a trembling, freaked-out mess. If he heard a noise outside he was sure it was robbers coming to kill us, if the air conditioner kicked on he'd start to cry and beg us to turn it off, he'd cower in a corner picking his palms until they bled begging us, "WHAT IS THAT NOISE?" and there would be no noise.
I'd like to say that we scooped him up and soothed him but after a couple or five hours of that it wears you down. There was much yelling, threatening, time-outs in the bathroom, and a couple of spankings that did no good whatsoever. We gave him melatonin, and another melatonin, sleepytime tea, and an adult Tylenol PM, and that did no good whatsoever either. The kid was convinced we would not survive until morning and as much as it pissed me the hell off because, dammit, that was my vacation! I should've been RESTING!, I felt so sorry for him. He was just so pitiful. Also, he scared the SHIT out of me because, HELLO?, my MIL has schizophrenia, what if it's genetic????
My husband wanted to leave after the first night, but I insisted we stay. I won a free night at that place and scored a pretty awesome deal for the next two so I was cashing in. There were awesome, awesome breakfasts to be eaten, feet to be rubbed, and a poolside bar to enjoy and after seeing my little two waiting patiently in their backwards swimsuits while their parents attempted to caffeine-up, I couldn't do it to them. And did I mention the breakfast. Mmmmm.....free breakfast.
So I did what I had to do to make the days enjoyable for all. I got drunk on banana daiquris at the poolside bar. The drunk removed the grumpy so all was right with the world. At least my world. Mmmmmm......banana daiquris.
He did sleep a little better the next night, but the last night was just awful. I truly expected my husband to get in the car and just leave us there. Remarkably, the little kids slept all week. Thank goodness. I would never want them to witness their brother like that.
So after our Woodlands vacation was over, we traveled north to get the animals and decided to just spend the holiday weekend up there with my parents as it was pouring in our part of the world and dry and sunny in theirs. Jacob (and the other kids) love it there and it's pretty calming for Jacob. Usually. I thought he'd sleep better there since he's used to the sounds and surroundings but if anything he was worse. In fact, as each night passed, he seemed to get worse and worse. There was nothing any of us could do for him and I'm ashamed to say that after a week of it, none of us were anymore understanding. We were all convinced he was either crazy or spoiled and about to punish him into even a short spurt of sleep.
You try going a week without sleep. See how calm and sweet you can be. My mom is the sweetest person alive and I think she seriously considered pitching a tent outside for him. Sadly, my mom developed Shingles on Sunday. I'm sure from the stress of it all.
So fast-forward to yesterday because I got nothing different, same noises, same robbers, same bleeding palms and shaking in a corner, same OMG-WE-NEED-SLEEP panic.
Yesterday, was our follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist who felt it absolutely necessary to switch Jacob's medications yet not at all address the anxiety his therapist sent us there for because, well, all kids are going to be afraid of some things and, he probably feels anxious because of all the bullying, I mean, who wouldn't, let's just change his ADD meds even though you all state he's doing pretty well with the other one.
So the psychiatrist wants to know how the new meds are doing and I tell him, WOW, they didn't work at first, but then they worked okay, and then somewhere in there he started thinking we were all going to be the victims of a bloody massacre, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT???? Well, the psychiatrist thinks that stimulant medications such as those given for ADD can cause anxiety, *shrug*, here's a prescription for Zoloft. Bring 70 more dollars in two weeks and we'll discuss if that works.
And the truly sad thing is that I just nodded, drove to the CVS, and filled that prescription PLUS the one for 90 days worth of Concerta, put my kid and his meds in my mom's car and sent him to spend a week with her because, GEEZ LOUISE, we need some fracking sleep.
It wasn't until this afternoon after listening to my mother recount their sleepless night and her suggestion that maybe, just maybe, the CONCERTA could be causing his fears/paranoia/schizophrenic tendencies, did that even cross my mind.
*DINGDINGDINGDINGDING*
WTH? Why did that NEVER occur to me? I read the insert that came with the drugs and it didn't say anything about completely losing your mind as the sun set, but Dr. Google and all those other poor souls who experienced similarities set me straight.
Then I did something completely unheard of. I called Jacob and asked himself. When did you start hearing the noises? The day after I took the grey pill. And it also makes him feel floaty.
Damn.
I told my mom not to give him another Concerta. Ever.
She has a few of his old meds left and will switch to those. I'm keeping him off the Zoloft too until I can determine if it was the medicine causing the anxiety or if he truly has anxiety and THEN I will treat it through his pediatrician. Or another psychiatrist if I can ever get an appointment with one.
I can't believe I didn't trust my kid enough to just KNOW it had to be something. Maybe it's not, but in my heart, I know it is. I took my kid to that place, let them take blood from his arm (which all I have to say about that is...HELL), switched his medications to make him feel all floaty, yelled at him for sharing (loudly) the noises and paranoia he was going through, all the time telling him to trust me, take your medicine, the doctor wouldn't give it to you if it wasn't going to make you feel better.
Yeah. Right.
According to Dr. Google and some other doctors who have specialists of ADD and shit like that next to their internet names, Concerta SHOULD NOT be given to children or adults with known anxiety disorders for just this reason. Now, Jacob has never been diagnosed with anxiety, but I told the psychiatrist specifically at our first appointment that the therapist and I both felt he suffered from it and the main reason I was there was to find a way for him to deal with that.
He's a freaking psychiatrist. Isn't HE supposed to know these things?
I guess this is why they could fit me right in and no other psychiatrist on our insurance could see us until fall.
AGH.
If it turns out we are right, it's the meds doing this to him, I think I'm going to call that "psychiatrist" and ask for the 400 dollars I've dished out to him so we can have a do over vacation.
I already hear the banana daiquiris calling me.
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