Where Did The Summer Go?

How is it time for school to start already?

I cannot believe my baby is a big first grader! Can we rewind five or six years so I can enjoy those days instead of wishing them away like I did the first time? Why was I so anxious for him to learn things? I miss Gymboree. I want to go back to Gymboree. That was fun........

Oh, so little.

I've been told that all you ever really need to know you learn in kindergarten, so why don't I just go pick up my boy now and we'll go back to enjoying jammies until 10, a little Noggin, and maybe I'll make him a pot of gumbo since he loves it so much.




No, that would never work.

He is excited to be in school, although I think he will freak a little when he realizes he isn't going home at noon. He sits right in front of his bestest school buddy, so I am relieved he doesn't have to muddle through the day alone. He has oreos in his lunch so it should be a good day for him.

Mama, though, is lost without her resident pappy retriever, laundry toter, Adam entertainer, and Elizabeth giggle-inducer.

Mostly, I just miss having him around all day.



They were hard sometimes, but those preschool years sure were fun while they lasted.

Cuter Than I Ever Imagined

What do you think of that dress?

I bought that dress four years ago. It was a gift for my brand new niece, Abigail. I loved it. I loved it so much that I couldn't part with it. It was silly to keep a dress when, at the time, I had a two year old boy, but I knew my sister could never love that dress the way I did so I hung it in Jacob's closet under the justification that number two, our last baby, might be a girl and I would need it then. A year and a half later we found out number two would not, in fact, be a girl so I pulled the dress from the closet and replaced it with little blue numbers. I tried twice to ship that dress on to others who had birthed baby girls, but I couldn't do it. No one could love the dress as much as I did, so I wrapped it in blue tissue paper and stored it in the depths of our cedar chest hoping that one day I would present it to my granddaughter, if it lasted that long.

Yesterday, I remembered the dress.

I may be a boymom at heart, but I am so glad I finally have someone to wear the dress.

Because I Thought It Would Be Fun.....

I got a wild hair the other morning and loaded the kids into the car and set out to good old Crap E. Cheese for some good old air-conditioned kiddie fun.

When I take the kids to the mouse house, I go as soon as the doors open at 9 a.m. Over time I have learned that by going then we avoid all other germy children, there is always a place to sit, and there are 10-20 tickets hanging from each ride and game after being turned on for the day. Not that day. Everyone in Houston apparently discovered my Cheese secret as it was as crowded at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday as it ever is at 12 p.m. on a Saturday. I was fuming. Early morning was MY time, but against my better judgement, we went on in because, really, who wants to take two bug-eyed, game-loving boys up to the door of goodness only to deny them at the last minute. No, definitely not me. So we go in and the boys immediately run away from me, token cups in hot little hands, and I proceed to wander around the tight spaces smacking teenagers in the ankles with my baby in the stroller trying desperately to locate my lost boys. Well, they weren't really lost, what with those big invisible stickers on their arms preventing their escape, but still, a mama likes to know where her kids are, am I right? Jacob found a new friend who happened to belong to the only other stroller toting woman in the place and I immediately track her down and proceed to follow her around because, hey, I'm lonely and thriving some adult conversation. She was a nice lady and I instantly decide we can be friends because a. she has lots of kids ( more than me even ), b. she has a stroller that I would kill for, and c. because of a and b, we must have loads in common and did I mention she was an adult?

So, the boys are having a ball playing video games and gambling for tickets when their sister awakes from her car-induced slumber with "the signal" that is sticking out her tongue and foaming like a rabid dog, which means "Mommy, I am really wanting to eat now" Now, I knew she would want to eat while we were there, but I totally thought we would be there alone so no big deal. I did not anticipate the throngs of arcade junkies so early in the morning, so I tried the pappy, tried smiling and saying "You're okay" because, yeah, that makes it okay, and even feigned ignorance, like, oh, are you crying? Nothing worked. I mentioned to my new BFF that my daughter was giving me "the look" and that I really didn't want to nurse there and secretly I was hoping she would say, "Why, I'll look after your sweet boys while you feed your baby in the car", but, well, we had only just met and I guess it would be wrong of me to trust the children I have known for years with a woman I have only known for twenty minutes, also, it was freaking hot outside! We're in the middle of a heat wave, remember? My nice new friend did say that she nurses there all the time and it was no big deal so I knew I would have to whip out the b**bs in that germ-laden paradise. I tracked down Adam, bought him the biggest ice cream sandwich known to mankind so to lure him with me, found the farthest booth, positioned myself facing the wall, and fed my baby. Being back in the corner as we were, there was no way in the world anyone other than a two foot nosy person would be able to know what was going on. Naturally, a two foot little someone trotted right on over and planted himself directly under my arm pit. I like to think it was the massive ice cream that drew him to us, so far away, but his mama had a different take on it. His mama and her three flouncy skirt wearing, espedrille sporting friends then parked themselves ten feet behind me and loudly discussed how "that woman" was "exposing herself" to her son. "Can you believe that?" one said and the other said, "In a restaurant of all places" and another said "Take your private business elsewhere, puhlease" Of course, none of them had the balls to come up and say any of it to my face and I was just too stunned and afraid of causing a scene to turn around and inform them that I have the right to feed my baby wherever I choose and to move away if they didn't like it. I just continued feeding my sweet baby while red skirted lady's son still hung out at our table with no attempts by her to retract him. I guess she was too scared of what she would see, so scarring her son for life was the only option. That was the first, and last, time I have nursed in public. Why are some mothers like that? Thank goodness I found cool stroller friend though. If only I had thought to get her name and phone number before they left. And I wonder why I have no friends.

And really, who considers Ch*ck E. Ch**se a restaurant?

FYI....

If you want to feed your children Kid Cuisine as a quick fix meal so you can sit down and feed your baby in peace, be sure to buy the ones without the chocolate pudding, unless, of course, you're looking for a new paint job in your kitchen.

I'm just saying.

The Three Amigos

So Neglected.....

I guess I need to quit checking my blogs and feed my children.

I also need to keep the pumpkin bread and other goodies off the kitchen counter.

Next Food Network Star

Okay, it's taken me forever, but I finally did watch the finale of The Next Food Network Star. I found to be kind of slow and boring and I could have done without all the talking, but I guess they had to fill that hour somehow. Here's my opinions on the whole show:

*Columbe......what was up with her? She seemed way to spaced out to even read a cook book, much less host her own show. I decided I really didn't like her after she purposly left Paul's bags at the supermarket. What a bitch.

*Jag annoyed me from the first episode. I have no idea why the judges liked him so much. He totally butchered that Iron Chef challenge, crap, he almost burned the place down, and they sent Paul home. I think they would have chosen him if he hadn't been caught in that lie which brings me to...

*Jag? WTF! You didn't think someone would come out of the woodwork after seeing you on television to turn you in? Jeez! Of course, I danced a little jig when I watched it all because I would so NOT watch his show. What do you bet, though, those producers find him a show anyway? They seemed to really like him no matter what he did.

* I liked Paul. and Tommy. Towards the end I started to like Amy more and I am glad she won over Rory. Rory was okay, but I don't think I would be interested in cooking the things she would likely have had on her show. I did feel truly sorry for her, though, when the cameras kept trying to pan off of her as she was sobbing in the background. I hope her restaurant does well as a consolation prize.

* The show filled my Bobby Flay fix, but they could have used a lot more Alton Brown. Alton Brown is the Food Network God. I love him.



OK...what are your thoughts?

Did you miss me?

I made a last minute decision to take the kids to the lake on Sunday by myself. The next time I start to think that's a good idea, please slap me.

Oh, it wasn't too bad, just a three hour drive turned into a five hour drive and my girl decided it was the perfect time to exercise her lungs, but we survived.....barely. It was nice, though, because it didn't rain the entire time. It was hot as hell, but it was dry. The kids loved swimming in the pool in the evenings and Elizabeth found her feet so all was well.

Bear with me as I try to catch up with everything this weekend.

.

Spotty Dog

Oh, Spotty Dog...how I love you Spotty Dog.

I found Spotty Dog outfit before Jacob was born, just hanging there ready to be purchased. I don't know what it was, exactly, that I loved about it, the blue stripes maybe? The fuzzy puppy dog? Might have been the cute little paw prints right on the rump, but either way, I loved it. My love was crushed, though, when the only one left was the wrong size AND had a big tear around the dog. I was thrilled months later when my mother's neighbor at that time presented me with Spotty Dog all wrapped in blue paper and ribbons AND it was the right size. Spotty Dog was a constant fixture in the boy's drawers their first three months. Jacob had his first portraits taken in it:

Adam also wore it quite a bit.....

Before Elizabeth was born I fetched it, washed it, and folded it lovingly in the chiffarobe ready for our new baby's arrival. I even thought of it not long after she was born and was just a tad sad that Spotty Dog would sit lonely, unworn, with no baby boy to wear it.

But then I thought, why can't my daughter wear it?

So I dressed my daughter in Spotty Dog and enjoyed it all day.

I have never had so much fun as when confusing the church ladies we ran into at the supermarket who now don't know whether we have a boy or a girl and were too afraid to ask....

They're Here......

Any idea why my kid does this?

Adam must touch the tube all creepy-Poltergeisty like each and every time the credits roll after a show, mostly his Noggin shows, but he'll do it for Paula Deen and Monty Hall too. He doesn't even have to have watched the show, when the credits roll he comes running and stands there like that until they are over. It's starting to get a little unnerving.

Think I should keep some rope handy?

Red Stick

Call us fools, but we took a baby and a six year old to Baton Rouge this weekend (Adam spent quality time with the grandparents). I guess you would call that our "vacation" if by vacation you mean attempting to spend time with friends and family while corraling children and jiggling a baby. As expected, it was complete chaos.


The trip was initially planned in May and was just going to be Jacob, Elizabeth, and I going to spend time with my best friend Erin and her oldest son who happens to be Jacob's bestest friend in the whole wide world. Erin recently moved into an apartment, sans husband, so I was quite looking forward to some beer by the poolside minus the adult male factor. A few weeks later, husband decides to tag along so he can see best friend who also lives in Baton Rouge. Ok, not part of the plan, but I can dig it because if he drives, I can drink more, works for me. A few weeks later, my sister catches wind that we are going to be in Baton Rouge and decides she wants to meet us there so that she can finally meet Elizabeth, never mind that she hasn't called or emailed me since that baby was born and she's holding a grudge about same baby's name (another long story) , but I don't want to be rude and say, come on down anyway because she promised she wouldn't bring her husband. The husband I hate. The husband who hates me and my kids. Guess who climbed out of that car when we got there. Yeah. Where my sister agreed to "hang out" for the weekend, her husband would not because that was their vacation dammit so my husband was recruited to ferry him all over the sights of Baton Rouge, you know big vacation metropolis, so I did what I always do, break up fights and soothe the baby, but at least I had a friend hanging out with me while I did that.





And Jacob finally decided he liked swimming and even jumped off the diving board. Finally.

I guess it was all worth it for Jacob to spend so much time with his best bud.

Of course, Abigail is always a hoot. She's starting preschool in August. She'll teach those teachers a thing or two.

Of course, nothing beats a tasty, delicious baby, especially a tasty, delicious, happy baby.

When do we go back?

Bringing Home Baby

As I sat here, ass in recliner with a sleeping baby sprawled across me because she'll sleep no other way, I channel surfed my way to a show called Bringing Home Baby. Have you seen this? It follows a family home from the hospital with their new baby and records their first 36 hours. Ah, ha, ha, ha, let the train wreck begin, I thought as I returned the remote to it's home. I watched and waited for the meltdowns, the all night crying, and round the clock feedings, but they never happened. Please tell me they edit the bad stuff out to encourage all the unsuspecting non-parents to hop on board the baby train. This is what I saw:



Family number one brings home a sweet baby boy. They place sweet baby boy in bassinet and go about his business. He sleeps all afternoon with nary a peep. Fast forward to dinner and family is eating peacefully while baby naps in his bouncy seat. He whimpers a bit, which disturbs the mommy, but goes immediately back to sleep. After a commercial break, Mommy talks to the camera about how little baby didn't go to sleep until 10 and was up at 3:30 to eat and she was, oh so tired when she woke up at 8 am. I would kill to sleep until 3:30, it would be like vacation to me. Don't even get me started on the 8 am thing.



Family number two, well, they got home around noon, slapped that baby into the pack and play and proceeded to throw a huge party complete with do-it-yourself margarita bar and a pony keg. If their baby woke to eat in the middle of the night they didn't know about it as they were nursing hangovers the next day. My kid is six. I still don't feel like entertaining.



Is this for real? If so, I got seriously gipped three times over.



I wish I had known about this show before I had Elizabeth. I would have so signed up. My episode would go like this:



Family gets home and immediately attempts to locate clothes, diapers, and bathing necessities for third child. In that process, first child leaves home and isn't missed for ten minutes and then crazy parents go screaming for him through the neighborhood. After that, parents plus one grandparent attempt to quiet screaming infant over and over again. Dinner time arrives and promised meal doesn't show and kids are crying for food. Finally get something on the table at 8 pm just as promised meal shows up at the door. Parents feel like ungrateful fools while trying to hide food on table by blocking the view. Episode doesn't have a sleep time segment as there is no sleep time, just a series of small naps between crying and feeding. Next day, dad heads off to work leaving grandma and mom alone with three children, one of which gets driven to school late with his teeth and hair unbrushed. No one else dresses for the day. Repeat this several times while mommy grows crankier, sleepier, and stinkier and you have our show.



Yeah, 3:30 sounds awesome......

Elizabeth at Three Months

I can't believe my baby is three months old!

I can't believe she is wearing the dress I bought for cousin Abigail when she was born. I was so excited to have a neice and buy dresses; I never imagined at that time I would have a baby girl in my house wearing the same dress. Surreal.

Boy, has Elizabeth changed in a month! She's happy. A lot. She laughs and coos and smile and, oh, how we are enjoying it. She still cries, but you can calm her most of the time and if you hold her all day long and not set her down you never hear a peep out of her. Yeah, she's easy that way. She definitely prefers being held to not being held and I oblige because I never want to hear the devil shreiks again. Everyone asks, "Do you ever put her down?" The answer is no, no I do not. Achy arms are a small price to pay for her happiness. If you had lived through the past three months that we have lived through, you would do the same.

Let's see....what else can Elizabeth do at three months? She can:

* kick and flap her arms to play
* move her head to follow people and objects
* grasp her hands
* hold her head up and pull her upper body up from a tummy position
* scoot just a bit by pushing with her feet while on her tummy
* blow raspberries

She sleeps much better now that she's sleeping with me. I still swaddle her every night, but she has recently starting pulling her arms out no matter how tight I wrap her. I fear the end of the swaddling is near and, well, I just don't know how she'll do without it and, frankly, I don't want to know yet. I am liking my colic free evenings, don't want to go there again.

She has lost most of her newborn hair and she no longer has that calico thing going on. What she has left is a brownish so I figure she inherited Jacob's hair as well as all his other features. She does have some funky eyelashes though....her right eyes are black and her left eyes are red and they are super long. When she cries and gets teary she looks like Tammy Faye Baker missing an eyelash.

How did a quarter of a year rush by so fast? I miss my tiny newborn, yet I am thrilled to finally get a glimpse into her real personality. Now, if I could just get a little sleep. Maybe sleeping through the night will be on her agenda as a three month goal.

I Swear, He Really is Smart

Here is further proof that I have completely lost my mind........

As we were leaving church Sunday night I looked down to find Jacob wearing two different shoes. In the chaotic frenzy of leaving the house, I asked if he was wearing shoes but I didn't think to check that they matched!

Let's hope his teachers didn't look at his feet either.

The Next Food Network Star

DO NOT tell me who won!

I watched until 8:42 last night when more Texas storms rolled through shutting off our satellite reception until exactly 9:04. The last thing I saw was Paul and Jag hugging on the sidewalk. So pissed! But, I have tivo and I set it to tape the finale rerun at 11 and sat down this morning to nurse and watch and it wasn't there. My, oh so kind, husband stopped it from recording so he could monopolize the television. I know this is so because it says "someone in your household stopped this program from being recorded" AAGGGHHH. OH, so much more pissed! It doesn't air again until Thursday night so I have to wait until then to catch up. After that we'll discuss it all, I promise.

This calls for urgent retail therapy......if only my husband hadn't locked my keys in my car. He better come home bearing gifts is all I have to say.

Adam's Half-Birthday

Adam is two and a half today.


I can't believe my baby will be three in six months. Three is so much older than two. What will I do?


Adam is such a sweet little boy. I am not surprised by this as he was a sweet little baby, easy-going and friendly and totally agreeable. He's just like that today, although he's more opinionated than agreeable sometimes, but it's good to stick up for yourself, right? He and Jacob can fight like cats and dogs, but he always goes over afterwards to give a big hug and a pat on the back. He never holds a grudge.


He LOVES his baby sister. He wasn't sure what to think at first and all that mommy sharing wasn't fun, but his tender heart couldn't hold a grudge against her either and he immediately formed a bond with her. I am constantly amazed at how gentle and helpful he is with Elizabeth. He fetches diapers and wipes and loves to deposit the dirty ones into the Diaper Genie. He helps bathe her and will dab at her drooly or spit up mouth when needed. He comes to her comfort whenever she cries and has even offered to pump milk for her, which, in hindsight, maybe pumping while he was in the room wasn't a great idea, but he sure was cute about it. If anyone was meant to be a big brother, it was him.



Speech started for Adam last week. Although I am still ambivalent about it, he seems to be enjoying it. He does have a few new words: Blue, Diego (do-go), Lola, Bubba, boo-boo, juice, sister, Ellie, coke, a myriad of animal sounds, and most importantly, no. He loves to use the word no, even if he doesn't mean no sometimes. It's hard not to crack up when he says no while crossing his arms at me. He's just so cute even tantrums are low-key where he's involved.



He is growing, slowly, but he's growing. While at the hospital for Vitamin Caper 2007, he was weighed at 25 pounds and 40 inches.....roughly the size of your average 18 month old because that's what size clothes he's wearing these days, at least his shirts are that size. He's still wearing 9 month pants/shorts because he's just that skinny. He can also still wear size 2 diapers, although I keep him in size 3 these days just because it would be awfully strange when his sister catches up with him.



His favorite things are still Matchbox cars. He can never have enough. He likes to line them up, sort them by color, crash them and race them and build block garages for them. Maybe he'll be an architect....or a mechanic. He just started watching television, thanks to Mommy's need for quick chair naps in the afternoon. He loves Wonder Pets, Blue's Clues, and Go, Diego, Go. He loves to read Charlie and Lola books and Curious George. He loves to go the Sunday school, the library and Chuck E. Cheese and, if we would let him, he would jump right off the diving board into the swimming pool, but he's happy just splashing around in the water too. He's definitely my little daredevil.


I am sure I could write volumes about Adam and his kind, loving spirit, but instead, I will snuggle in the chair and watch some Noggin with him and then get started on his favorite - cupcakes. Thirty months of Adam.....what a gift.

Take 138

I just want a nice picture of my three kids. Is that too much to ask?

Too Tired For a Title

I don't like waking up early. Never have. I am not a morning person. My children, on the other hand are morning people. As soon as the sun rises they bound out of bed. This annoys me. Now, I knew when getting into this that my days of sleeping until nine were over, but six? Come on now. That's just too damn early. If I don't need to drive myself to a paying job then I don't need to crawl out of bed at that hour either.......but I do.....and I hate it.

I am so tired. I need some sleep. Elizabeth is sleeping better, but she's still up nursing every three to four hours so I'm not getting a good stretch in there to feel even the slightest bit refreshed in the morning. This makes me cranky and moody and, frankly, makes me want to leave my husband or, at the very least, refuse to cook his dinner this evening.

Disclaimer: Husband is a good dad to his kids and usually a good husband, but this is my blog and I reserve the right to complain about him as appropriate.

Husband is having a hard time at work this week. I don't ask how, because I don't understand a lick of what he does, but I know he is because he flings open the door an hour later every evening and announces: "I had the worst possible day" and stomps around with a big old scowl on his face. Yes, I know this means I am supposed to drop everything and run to his rescue with a big hug and a listening ear and, in his mind, probably forget we have children and let them play with knives and poison while I drag him upstairs for some hot monkey love, but umm, I have three children and I'm tired. I did the listening thing on Monday, isn't that enough? Anywho.....having a bad work day apparently gives you a pass on kid duties because he ain't doing any. Oh, he thinks he's doing things, but he isn't. Telling the boys they need to take a bath isn't helpful. Running the water and getting them there and actually bathing them is. Last night I ran back and forth between two tubs supervising and bathing each time passing the computer where the husband sat holding sleeping Elizabeth and each time he would state, "I would help, but I've got the baby" Ummm, yeah. That excuse works when she's screaming, but not sleeping. After baths, I spent over an hour with a splitting migraine wrestling Adam into bed while husband watched some stupid show on SciFi and would call out "I'd help, but I've got the baby" although at some point there I ended up with the baby and then I was wrestling two of them to bed. Fun times. By the time I got Adam to sleep at 10:05, I trotted my crabby ass downstairs and told the husband that I had a headache I wanted to nurse and would he please, oh pretty please, put Elizabeth to bed?? Can you believe I even felt a little guilty asking him to hold his very own daughter? Yeah, I did, until I was awakened out of a deep sleep by my assh*le husband shoving a baby in my face and yelling that she was hungry and off he went. Oh, was it already two, the time she's been waking to nurse? I looked at the clock and noticed it had been turned around, hmm weird, so I turn it around and, guess what? It was eleven o'clock on the dot. She had been nursed at 9:30, there was no way she needed to nurse again, he just wanted to go to bed. Alone. In the bed in the baby's room. ASS! To top that off, he didn't even make the bed when he left, so that's an extra bed I have to make this morning.

Okay, I'm done.

Is it noon yet?

No, it's eight and I already feel like the sun should be setting. Not a good sign.

At least we're having pizza tonight.

Tuesday Tidbits

Finally, more Tuesday Tidbits. I know ya'll just couldn't live without them.

I woke up around five this morning jammed between three children. One was twisting my hair, another was playing footsie, and the baby was sucking on a b**b. The husband was in the extra bed stretched out snoring alone. He may bring home the paycheck, but I am definitely earning it.

Husband pet peeve number two: Does he think we live in a dorm? Husband has taken to washing his work clothes rather than throw them in the hamper with the rest of the laundry. Why? Because I don't wash them right. Whatever. That's fine with me and he still allows me the privelage of washing all his socks and underwear and casual clothes. Yippee. Anyway, just like a college guy he never remembers to do his clothes until Sunday evening. Just like a college guy, if I have a load in the washer or dryer, he just takes it out and stashes it on top of the dryer or on the floor and moves his load right on through. I never notice or remember this until Monday mornings when I walk in to find the rest of the clothes stinking wherever he placed them. Gee, thanks. In one dorm I lived in you had to sign up for laundry time.....I am thinking of placing a sign up sheet on the laundry room door.

I don't know what to do with my blog. Should I change the title? I mean, I still have two boys and they still drive me crazy so it's not wrong, but how do I add the girl? I haven't been able to come up with anything snappy, so if you have any suggestions feel free to shoot them this way. I am also itching to customize the look more so if you're handy like that or know someone who is, I have a job for you.

I ordered Jacob's school supplies online. It was quick and convenient and I am relieved to be able to avoid the crowds, but I am a little sad not to be doing the back-to-school hunt with him. I loved shopping for school supplies when I was a kid, maybe it's because we rarely went shopping, but I loved the smell of new crayons and pencils and the look of a nice clean lunch box. Now the stuff just shows up on his desk the first day of school, no choosing of character folders or the contest to see who has the biggest crayon box. They don't even know what they're missing.

Anybody else watching The Next Food Network Star? If so, we can discuss it. Let me know.

I got invited to a high school reunion this week. Weird thing is, it isn't my high school. It was the high school I would have attended had we not moved at the end of ninth grade. Erin won't go with me and since she's the only person I still know from there I won't be going either, but shoot, I think that might have been a good time.

My parents refer to my baby as Rachel. They don't like Elizabeth. I don't know what to think about that.

My kids are sharing a bag of peanut butter baking chips for breakfast. I guess they got tired of waiting for me. Shh...don't tell.

Sing with me.....On my first day back home, Google sent to me:
aspergers or just crazy
what color are Michael Buble's underwear
Texas women peeing on the side of the road
and chocolate syrup b**bs

Interesting.

We're Back!

I'm bbbaacckk!


Got a load of unpacking to do, an empty refrigerator, and two unruly boys tearing the place apart, but we're home.

This is my first day with three kids all alone. I have to figure out a way to take them to the grocery store without losing my mind. I need to go to the post office too. I made my first goal of having them all dressed before noon. I haven't yelled at Jacob this morning, although he is driving me crazy reading my blogs over my shoulder. I have yet to panic about the fact that Elizabeth has caught the nasty cold my dad brought down and could possible have a fever. I haven't hidden Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper yet. I might be able to swing this after all. Of course, I am sure I would be a much better mama if I were making breakfast rather than blogging.

Three kids are harder to travel with than two. Cramming them into that back seat wasn't too bad, it was the packing. I did okay last week packing for two kids, but packing for three to come home was chaos. It took me most of yesterday to round up everything and we still left tons of things....important things like my pillow, Jacob's medicine, the nightlight, the breast pump pieces, and Jacob's beloved Webkinz pets. I used to be super organized, what happened to me?

Elizabeth was wonderful last week. It was almost like having baby Adam back she was so jolly and sweet. There were days that the only time she cried was when she was getting her medicine. The horrible, wretched medicine. The husband usually gives it to her so since he went back home last week it was up to me to administer the goo. It comes in powder form in a small packet that says mix with two tablespoons of water which becomes a pasty, stinky, pink mess that we give to her with either a medicine dropper of a spoon. Every evening I was thinking, my golly this is taking forever and geez she seems to really hate it a lot more now, but I continued shoving that crap down her throat every day while she wailed and screamed and my mom would wonder why we were giving her so much. Turns out I was mixing the half packet she was prescribed with the water for the full packet. DUH! I have a college degree. You'd never know it.

I am hoping I can kick my brain into gear to get back into our routine today. I have to deprogram Jacob after spending weeks with the grandparents. They are good to him, but just a little too good. It's back to chores and discipline for him, poor kid. I am also eager to see if Elizabeth's good humor will spread beyond the lake. Could the colic be behind us? Dare I hope? Wish me luck.

Vacation?

What day is it?

I love the lake, all the trees and quiet and lack of loud neighbors is so wonderful, but I am ready to go home. All this family togetherness is getting to me. The dog chose this week to get sick and the children all have snotty noses and it's too hot to just send them outside for the day. My dad hates Food Network and lets me know it every time I try to sneak a peek of Alton Brown or Paula Deen. I had big dreams of finally finishing that baby blanket I started last August, you know, pictures of an actual vacation in my mind, what a fool! I want to get home to get some rest.

I swear Jacob grew two inches while he was away, but his behavior hasn't improved that much. Adam was so happy to see him and they played so well together that first night, but now it's just one fight after another over the stupidest things. Adam has added a new word to his list: NO. We were so excited to hear him say it the first few times, but now, well now, it's not so cute. Especially that no with his arms crossed and spitting razberries at us. Elizabeth has actually done pretty well. Maybe the colic is ending now that she is approaching three months (three months? how?) or maybe it's just because she hasn't been put down since the grandparents arrived. Either way, I am happy to see more happy from her.

Yeah, I am ready to head home. I never thought I would say that about this place, but it's just way hard with three kids, two animals, and one crotchedy bored retired man wandering around. I need my AC, my computer, and my Bobby Flay to make it through the day. See you soon.

Have you missed me?

We're at the lake for the week in dial-up country. The grandparents brought Jacob back here and we have enjoyed his company for the most part. He's still Jacob after all, loves a good argument. He has spent the past six hours trying to convince me to drive a half hour to buy him a Game Boy cartridge. I had forgotten, as I always do, how the dust or a shut up home and the pine outside aggravates my allergies, so I have been on benedryl since we got here. Elizabeth is sleeping well as a result. We'll be back next week and I'll check in then since I forgot my computer cords and my battery is going dead. Have a good week ya'll!

Happy Fourth of July!

My Day So Far or Why Are We Awake so Early?

Totally stealing this from Jennifer who made me laugh while pacing this morning. Thank goodness I'm not the only one who has these kinds of days.


I heard Adam cry this morning as I was nursing the baby in my comfy bed. My comfy bed that my sweet baby has been wiggling in since 1 a.m. Look at the clock and see that it's 6:23 WAY too early for me and hope that Adam just falls right back to sleep. No such luck as he's scampering his way down the hallway and into my comfy bed in a matter of seconds. I pretend to sleep so he will too and it worked. Phew, two more hours of sleep please.

As I am dozing off I hear it, Elizabeth has chosen this moment to poop. I should change her right then, I know, but what if she's not done? Then I would *gasp* waste a diaper, so I wait and doze off just a bit until Elizabeth finishes her snack and decides 6:40 is a wonderful time to awaken so I begrudgingly play with her some as quietly as possible to keep from waking the boy. We play for a bit when I smell the smell and remember, oh yeah, she pooped and pick her up to find Huggies diapers suck and my baby and my comfy bed covered in yellow poop. DAMMIT! Look a gift horse in the mouth (what does that really mean?) and curse the gift givers who sent the Huggies diapers. I hate Huggies but I will use them because they were free.

As I tiptoe out of my poop filled room into the hallway I notice a long black line. What could that be? Shoot, Adam found the markers again, but no, he's been asleep and it wasn't there last night. Hmmm......closer, closer.....damn, stupid dog! That big oaf snuck upstairs and wiped his ass on our white carpet! Beautiful. More poop. How in hell am I supposed to clean that while holding a baby 24/7? Decide to leave that for husband to clean and figure out a way to keep the boy away from it all day.

I changed Elizabeth's diaper and then she was ready to play. She was happy! I sat down to giggle with her and we were having the best time when apparently something bit her in the ass because she went from smiling to screaming in a split second. Screaming, screaming, and more screaming, while I pray desperately that she doesn't wake Adam who's still in my comfy bed and now on my comfy pillow. Pace, jiggle, shush, repeat.

Thirty minutes later she's asleep in my lap. Adam is asleep in my comfy, yet pooped on bed (I scooted him and covered the poop with a towel, I wouldn't let him sleep in poop). I am going to find a place to crash and start this day over again. Two more hours of sleep please.

Ah crap, they're awake.

Blister in the Sun

I was driving down the road in my car this morning with both kids screaming in the back seat. Elizabeth, well because that's what she does and Adam, well he's developed a sudden dislike for the grocery store and that is where we were heading. So, kids are crying in the back seat and I turned up the music to drown them out some since I had forgotten the ipod at home when the Violent Femmes came on. I turned it up a bit louder because, oh yeah a good eighties tune, when a miracle happened. The children ceased their caterwauling! They seemed to be enjoying the tune. The Violent Femmes calmed them and all was right with the world.

Yep, no doubt about it, they are definitely their mama's children.

I wonder if they like The Cure too.

The Happiest Baby on The Block

The secret to making your baby the happiest baby on the block isn't the five s's after all. Poke her with a sharp metal stick four times and make her chug down some sweet concoction. Vaccinations people, that's where it's at!

Seriously, what is up with that? Elizabeth has been as jolly as a circus clown since going to the doctor yesterday. I think I actually heard her laugh today. It's been smiles and coos and big sweet eyes all day long except when she was napping......in her crib! She looks the same, but I swear, that isn't my child. Do you believe in alien abduction?

Honestly, I am beginning to think it may be the infant tylenol and that kind of worries me. I love the sudden happiness, but what if my poor girl is in pain EVERY DAY from something we don't know anything about? How stupid would I look asking my doctor to check my child because she's happy?

Or maybe she's just at that age where the colic mysteriously disappears......

Either way, we are loving the happy Elizabeth. We loved the grumpy one, but damn, laughing beats crying any day.

And did I mention she's sleeping in her crib? With her ticker? Alone? Yeah, I don't need to be blogging with you guys, I need to find my husband while I have these free arms. Opportunities like this don't roll around often in this crowded house.

Two Month Appointment

Elizabeth had her two month appointment this morning. I dressed her nicely for those dreaded vaccinations. I think I cried more than she did. You don't know how much I despise pumping her body full of all those viruses. I don't care if they are dead viruses, I still hate it. I always have this nagging thought that my kid might be one of the half percent of babies who has a deadly reaction to it so appointment day stresses me.

But anyway. Elizabeth appears healthy. She weighs ten pounds, ten ounces and is 22 inches long. I appeared to be quite the idiot regaling tales of all day screaming fits and refusals to nurse while Elizabeth smiled and cooed and put on her best happy sweet baby routine for the doctor. She didn't even cry when they poked her with all four of those needles. Jab her with a sharp stick, nothing. Look at her funny, scream for hours. Whatever. But Adam, man Adam is such a sweet kid. He sat up there the whole time with his sister during those shots holding her hand, rubbing her belly, and kissing her head. He's just so empathetic. I swear he'll end up a doctor himself someday because he's always trying to help everyone.

Tuesday Tidbits

Today is a better day. I can't believe we made it through yesterday. I didn't even get a shower or a meal yesterday. It was rough. Elizabeth has had her moments today, but she's actually been pretty happy much of it so I am enjoying her as much as I can until the next demon possession.

I can't believe that is the same girl I paced the floor with 24 hours ago. I already dread the teenage years.

Adam had his speech evaluation this morning. Three speech pathologists squeezed into our tiny living room and observed him and played with him and did some cognitive testing on him. His language development score was 19 months compared to his cognitive and social development which was over four years old. So, yeah, he'll be getting some speech therapy once a week until he turns three. They don't think he has any actual articulation problems just a lack of motivation to speak and the women let me know that my husband and I talk way too fast and we need to slow our speech down to the required Texas southern drawl for Adam to understand what we are saying. I think that's a load of crap as he can follow a three step direction given once, but what the hell, if they want slow speech, I'll give them slow speech. I tried it with Adam earlier and he looked at me like I was nuts. They also very slowly walked me through the IEP process and every time I would politely inform them that, uh yeah, I know the deal. I have a masters degree in this stuff after all, I could write a heck of a better IEP than they could, but since they are getting paid for it, I let them proceed. I hate having that IEP though. I hate that he needs one. Never did I ever think I would be on the other end of that process.

The Secret is working for me! I have been positively thinking about more money coming to us and just the other day an old man gave Adam a dollar at the Chinese buffet just because he was cute. It's a start.

You must get Brad Paisley's newest CD. It makes me almost forget he named his kid Huckleberry.

I think we have decided to go ahead and move Jacob on to first grade in August. I still have fears and and some uncertainty about it, but I do think it will probably be the best thing for him at this particular time. I met with his Sunday School teacher this week, the same lady who was his most awesome preschool teacher who has known him since he was three and whose opinion I value. She didn't feel he was as immature as his kindergarten teacher does and thought that the challenge of first grade would be beneficial to him and possibly help his social skills even more. If it turns into a big fiasco, the husband and I have agreed to pull him out and homeschool him for the remainder of the year and retain next year, but it will have to be a great big fiasco to take that step. At least we have a plan. Thank you all for thoughts and advice. I really did take them all into consideration.

Here is Elizabeth in the miracle blanket Beth mailed to her. We have been swaddling her since day one, but this one is wonderful because she can't kick out of it. She really does like it, I swear. Yes, I have food in my teeth. Aren't husband's required by vows to inform you of such things?

I don't think Adam could get any cuter......no wonder people are showering him with money.

If I Can't Console My Child, Please Someone Console Me

Holy Shit! This morning was the worst morning yet. What demon possessed my baby?

Nothing seemed remiss at the buttcrack of dawn when my children decided they needed to be awake. Adam was happily eating his frozen waffle and Elizabeth was cooing in the swing when, for no apparent reason, she began wailing. Nothing new, she doesn't stay long in that swing, but this time removing her didn't solve the problem. I walked around and jiggled her for a bit, nope, that didn't work. I sat in the chair and went for old reliable...the boob. Now usually the mere sight of the boobs renders her as speechless as a preteen boy with his first nudie magazine, but not today. I whipped out the swaddling blankets and that just pissed her off more. Two hours later, she was still screaming like a banshee and by then hadn't nursed in four hours. She never goes four hours between feedings...NEVER. She's a two and a half hour on the dot nurser during the day so I started to get a little concerned. I went back and did the jiggle dance and swaddle bit but she was still summoning the dead so I tried to feed her again. You would have thought those boobs were shooting fire because that made her even worse and I didn't even know there could be a worse! So of course I do what any other insane, sleep deprived, ear shattered mother would do....I panicked. Well, just a little. I picked up the phone and called the husband which I am strictly forbidden to do. This is how it went:

Me: Can you hear her? Somethings wrong with her.

Husband: She's crying. Babies cry

Me: (shooting daggers with my eyes, babies cry??) No, this is much different and you know what else, she won't nurse.

Husband: Maybe she doesn't like your milk today.

Me: (why the hell did I call him?) Oh yeah, that's it. I added chocolate syrup to it just this morning, she apparently isn't a fan.

Husband: You know what I mean. Is she sick?

Me: Well she's screaming like she's got something wrong with her.

Husband: Does she have a fever?

Me: No

Husband: Then she's not sick.

Me: But when M's baby died she told me that she screamed all day long and she even had to go out on the porch to get away from it and then when she finally calmed her and set her in the crib she came back ten minutes later and she was dead. (Me now sobbing) This is just like that. I don't want her to die.

Husband: You are a f*cking lunatic.

Me: Should I take her to the doctor?

Husband: Do whatever you think is best.

Me: You're not helping me.

Husband: I'll call the doctor and make an appointment to bring her in and tell them you think she is going to die.

Me: click


So then I proceed to cry great big honking tears and pump some milk hoping maybe she'll take a bottle. Nevermind that she's never had a bottle before, surely she'll just love one in the midst of her tirade but as I was attempting to give her that bottle she scrunched her face all up and pooped. And pooped and pooped and pooped. After three diaper changes, she finally did nurse and fall asleep for a little bit.....ah, sweet peace. Poor, poor girl, she's doing a little better, but Mommy sure could use a drink.

Elizabeth at Two Months

Two Months!

How can you be two months already?

You are growing so much! When we went to the doctor three weeks ago you weighed nine pounds, four ounces and I know you've grown bigger since then. You are wearing your 0-3 month clothes pretty well now. It's sad to pack up the preemie and newborn things already.

You have lost some of your hair in front so now you have a receding hairline just like Daddy. What's left is black in the back and red on the sides. I can't wait to see what color you actually end up with. I am rooting for red and you will hate it as a child but you'll love it when you grow up. Trust me on this one. Your eyes are a deep blue and seem more blue everyday. You do have a small brown stripe on your bottom right pupil so, who knows, they may end up brown in the end. You look so much like Jacob did as a baby, you even have his spiky hair and the notch in your left ear like him, but you have Adam's monkey toes and long legs.

You are still a screamer. Child, you could wake the dead and call dogs with that high pitched wail. I have never heard anything like it. You definitely like things your way. We must not lay you down anywhere ever. You must be in our arms or slung across our bodies at all times. You hate the stroller, the car seat, and the crib, but you will sometimes tolerate the swing for a very short time. A very short time. We are so looking forward to the day your happy outweighs your sad. You're working on it, I know it's hard.

At about six weeks old, the doctor prescribed prevacid for your colic and reflux. You hate to take it, but it does seem to have helped some. You are easier to burp and have quit the across-the-room spit ups since taking it.

We have found the secret formula to help you sleep: swaddling. We tried it early on and you would whip those legs and arms out of that blanket faster than we could tie it up, but thanks to the miracle blanket, you calm more easily and conk out quickly and stay asleep for three hours at a time. All hail the miracle blanket. You hate the process of being wrapped up, but once there you are in hog heaven. Dr. Karp is a genius.



You smile! And coo! I can't get enough of your sweet face when you are happy. I even play with you at 3:30 a.m. because I don't want to miss a minute of it. Yes, you like to be awake in the wee hours of the morning. I guess I can't blame you as I'm sure you have no sense of time, but it will be nice when you figure out that dark means sleep. I can't complain, though, as you do sleep pretty solid from 9:00 until 3:00, only waking once, usually around midnight, to nurse. It's been nice having you in bed with me. I missed you so far away in that crib.


Your brother still adores you and you have begun to take notice of him as well. You are so happy to see him when he wakes up in the morning and he is just so delighted to see you smile at him. I cannot wait until the two of you can sit and play the matchbox cars he brings you all day, even if that does mean you'll have to grow up a little more.


Nine weeks old and counting.....it's like you've been with us forever, yet like you just got here all at the same time. We love you Sister.

Any Suggestions?

Jacob will be home in less than three weeks.



I have truly missed him.



But with him gone I have been able to put out of my mind the fact that he will be starting first grade in August. Maybe.



I am still struggling with his ADD issues and whether first grade is the right place for him. Somedays I think it is, other days I change my mind.



He's a smart little kid. He could read every kid in his class under the table and could creatively write them out the door as well. Academically he's a star. Socially, not so much. I have to decide, and soon, how we will proceed here. Right now he's enrolled in first grade but there is still a spot in that transitional kindergarten if we want it. Do we want it? I don't know. Somedays he seems right on track with other kids his age and I am so encouraged and then other times he acts like a three year old and my heart breaks when I watch his peers make fun of him. Maybe this is just the way life will be for him. Maybe he's just weird and no amount of retention will make a difference. Maybe if we up his meds he will finally settle down enough to pick up on the social cues and finally calm himself to a point where other kids want to befriend him. What if I send him to first grade and the other kids mature so far ahead of him and tease him and he starts hating school and possibly himself? What if I put him in kindergarten and he watches his classmates, the classmates he knows aren't as bright as he is, go on to first grade and his self esteem plummets or he's a ticking time bomb due to the boredom in class? I am going crazy over here. My mind changes a hundred times a day. I fear that whatever decision I go with, it will be the wrong one.



A big part of me just wants to keep him home with me. I know full day school is going to be hard for him. Shoot, he's going to VBS this week for four hours a day and already complaining. He even fell asleep there today. He struggled that half day last year. By the time lunch time rolled around, he was done. How in the world will he last eight hours? I have always thought that children of five and six weren't ready for full days of schooling. When I taught kindergarten and first graders the afternoons were complete wastes. Even the second graders had a hard time focusing after lunch until around Christmas. Wouldn't it be nice if kindergarten started at age seven or eight? That would be the perfect solution for me. Then my kid wouldn't have to start college until he was 21 which I think is the perfect age for that also. I mean, I wasn't ready to live on my own at 18, he surely won't be. Yes, let's just change the way the world does things to better suit my needs. I have solved my problem. If it were only that simple. I would probably go ahead and home school him this year if Elizabeth didn't take up so much of my time but, really, how can he mature socially with others if he isn't around others? I just want to do the best thing for my kid, I just haven't figured out what it is yet. August should be loads of fun.

Happy Anniversary!

My husband and I have been married eight years today.

And my in-laws thought (hoped) it would never last.

We look so young and rested there. Three kids, two pets, two homes, five jobs, and three family medical crises later, here we are. I can't say it's always been easy and to be quite honest, I can't say we have always liked each other, but we have always been there for one another.

Like any other little girl I had big dreams for my wedding day but it turned into a chaotic freak show. My dad drove off in the car leaving my sister and mother at the motel missing their hair appointments. I got into a huge fight with the hairdresser because she was pissed they hadn't made the appointment while I am waiting there with my best friends wondering if they had been in an accident and killed. I arrived home to find my husband's family members scattered throughout my house, undressed for the wedding, four hours early, without RSVPing, using our ONE bathroom to spiff themselves up. Screw the bride and groom. Our house was a complete disaster following the rehearsal dinner we hosted the night before. Someone left the shrimp out and the place stunk. Derick's mom kept letting the dog loose and my cat was shaking under a bed somewhere. My aunt, who had my wedding dress (I still don't know why) got lost in our small town and arrived late to the church, but that was allright because I was late as well trying to get Derick's family off my couch and out of my house. I cried like a baby leaving my dog there alone knowing I wouldn't see him for a full week, honeymoon and all (oh, how times have changed). My sister had to drive back to retrieve my makeup and the ring-bearer pillow and I think the photographer had started drinking before the festivities. The wedding began around 3:30 instead of 3:00 like the invitations stated. The ceremony was short and sweet, I began cracking up in the middle of it for whatever reason and I look like a complete ditz on the video. My parent's neighbor pulled my veil off in the receiving line and I never could get it back on correctly so I had the worst hair day ever in my posed wedding photos. We made it to the reception in record time but apparently not soon enough for my dad who ran right up to us as they announced us in the door to let me know they wouldn't serve drinks until we arrived and I better go right then to let them know I was there because my uncle was paying for drinks out of pocket for everyone at the bar next door. The reception was a complete blast though. The food was awesome and the drinks kept flowing. By the end of the evening I just quit using the cups and drank out of the champagne bottles left on the tables, very bride-like I know. I mean, I was paying for that, I wasn't about to waste it. When I went to change for the drive to the airport motel, I realized I didn't have any shoes to wear on my honeymoon and my poor mom, the only sober one in the place, had to drive the half hour back home to fetch some. My dad and uncle got mighty tipsy and moved on to the bar after the drinks ran out. Our friends and my husband and me shut the place down. They actually made us leave, but that was allright because we were supposed to be at the Pittsburgh Hilton hours earlier anyway. So my wedding wasn't quite as fancy as I had pictured it as a little girl, but it was ours....chaotic and crazy and sometimes fun, just like our life has been.

Return of the Sling

It's over. She wins.

Elizabeth hasn't slept in her crib in three nights. I haven't even tried to go there with her.

She is co-sleeping with me and we are getting some sleep. Not a full night of sleep, but more sleep than we've seen in many weeks and I haven't had to hang out in the recliner either. So long, Bobby Flay, it was fun while it lasted.

I actually feel good about this. I think I am a total attachment parenter at heart so I feel some relief heading back to my roots.

I wanted a crib baby mainly so I could nap her there in the afternoons and hang out with my non-nappers during that time. I also have an Angelcare monitor hooked up to the crib that is supposed to detect breathing lapses and, therefore, eliminating the need to lay my hand on her chest or stick my finger under her nose every half hour like I did with the boys. Am I the only mother who does that?


The ticking of that monitor was a huge comfort to me. You see, I live in complete fear of something happening to my babies. I know six families, personally, whose infants died from SIDS and wonder what is the connection, what happened to them and what's to say it won't happen to my baby as well. I know the odds are slim, but still. When Jacob was a baby, I actually convinced myself, in my PPD haze, that I could stay awake all night long and watch him breathe for an entire year, oh yes I did, until my body pretty much collapsed on me and I would fall asleep at the kitchen table or in the car......and I wonder why Jacob has so many issues. I have relaxed somewhat since then, I know I have done all I can to prevent this from happening to my daughter and aside from this post and my incessant need to hear that tick, I don't think about it much.


Anyway, we have turned a corner here in the Boy Crazy household. Thanks to Dr. Karp, the miracle blankets Beth so kindly sent me, the sling Lori generously gave me, and quite possibly the prevacid, the colic is slowly ending (knock on wood). Thank you all for the good advice and thanks Beth and Lori for going out of your way to help me out.

Happy baby makes a happy Mama!

Who Likes Tea?

Further proof that I need more sleep.....


I strolled throught the mall yesterday afternoon and stopped in my favorite tea store. I hadn't planned to buy any, but they had an awesome sample that I could not live without so I went to the counter and told the teenage, nose-ringed dude that I would have some of that nice sample. Now, you buy the tea by bulk, two ounces for set price. I have been in this place before and ordered tea and that was the way they gave it to me...two ounces in a bag. So I tell teenage employee that I want a bag of the nice tea and Elizabeth starts to fuss and Adam tries to make a dash for the door and when I turn back around I notice he has two canisters out. I tell earring dude I only wanted the tea that was advertised. He showed me where, in very fine print, that the tea advertised is a blend so he has to mix two together to get what I am now totally craving. So I think about it a little, jiggle my screaming baby and decide, okay, it doubles the price but I can just see that scrumptious tea totally turning my day around in my head, shoot, it might make my baby quiet as I relax in my chair taking in the tea just like it shows on the picture on the wall. So, I say sure, I want a bag of that delicious tea. So after a few laps through the store and more tasty samples, I return to retrieve my bag of tea and I notice, that's not four ounces of tea. That's enough tea to to last me until my kids go to college. That dude filled that bag, I mean, it was bulging. So I told him I only wanted a bag of the tea and he looks at me like I'm a complete dumb ass because, frankly I must be, so I ask how much tea is in that bag....there's twelve ounces of tea in that bag! I am still working on the two ounces I bought back in March! Did I mention that each tea cost between four and five dollars for two ounces? So yeah, you can do the math. Apparently I was to specify how many ounces I wanted and, no, he couldn't unblend that tea so I am stuck with it. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all love tea. So, I get it home and decide to use The Secret and find the positive in the situation and am glad I have enough tea to have three cups a day if I wish, shoot, I can make iced tea! Yeah, I'm going to have some tasty iced tea with dinner. So, I take my hefty bag of tea from it's cute little bag and see teenager has slapped a huge sticker on it that says "100% of caffeine content. As much caffeine as a cup of coffee". Wonderful. There's a reason I drink tea over coffee, it's because I can't handle coffee after 11 a.m. or I'll be awake all night. Figures.

Birthing three children turns your brain to mush, but at least I will have that tea to keep me awake.

Tuesday Tidbits

Oh, will the crying ever end? Elizabeth is a screaming machine. I have never seen anything like it. I even took her to the doctor one day last week, of course she shut the f*ck up over there. Different doc put her on a daily dose of prevacid which is a bitch to get down and, so far, I'm not seeing that it helps much. Dear Lord, even Jacob gave it a rest now and then. Different doc says to me, "Does she cry at least three hours a day?" Lady, she cries 12 hours a day AT LEAST...."Well, I guess it could be colic then." YA THINK?

The colic is getting better though, in the sense that, well, she's not crying 18 hours a day anymore and just when I want to drive her back to the hospital and declare her defective she'll stop and smile at me and give a little coo and my heart will melt and I will then pronounce her the best baby ever until the next time.



Some of the things my husband does gets on my nerves. I am thinking about making it a weekly entry. I love him, but geez louise where does he come up with some of this stuff. Here's this week's pet peeve: When the husband finishes a drink from a glass, he insists that it sit on the counter instead of going into the dishwasher because he is going to use it again later that day. When I wake up the next morning there are at least five glasses scattered over various places on the counter and/or table. He NEVER reuses the glass. I can't sneak the damn glasses into the dishwasher, though, hell no, we have come to near blows over that. I will never understand this. I have bought paper cups for him and he does the same damn thing. My brother in law does this too. Is it some sort of man thing?


Have you heard of The Secret? I got this book at the library and thought, what the heck? It seems to be a lot of positive thinking and visualization mumbo jumbo but what's wrong with being a little happier and thinking of millions of dollars rather than the stack of bills in front of you, no? I'll let you know if it works....so far my visualizations of a non-colicky baby have not come to fruition. I guess Elizabeth doesn't know the secret.



I bought Seinfeld seasons seven and eight for Derick's Father's Day gift. He didn't necessarily want that and I only picked it up so I would have something good to watch during my nightly feeding/shushing/pacing routine. Is this wrong?



She's so sweet she makes my teeth hurt. The colic ends soon right?

Out With the New

Look what Elizabeth can do!

No more newborn baby at my house. It's so sad. I love brand new, wrinkly red, lay like a lump newborns. I love that moment when you hear your baby cry for the first time and see her swaddled like a papoose with her beanie hat the next. I love the cradle cap and baby acne and crossed eyes. I can't believe there will be no more newborns for me. I could cry.

I do, however, enjoy watching my newborn grow into a baby. She's pulling up and trying to hold her head steady. She is smiling and cooing and turning her head to follow us around the room. She has a double chin and thunder thighs and a perfect belly button. I could eat her up, she is that delicious, but she keeps growing, she won't slow down and that breaks my heart just a little with every new skill and every little outfit she outgrows. She's my last baby and I am trying so hard to hang on to every moment of it.


Next week, Elizabeth will be two months old. TWO MONTHS OLD! That means only ten more months until her first birthday. Didn't I just have a baby yesterday? In the chaos that is round the clock feeding and crying, two months passed by, how did that happen? My body has healed and the maternity clothes have been packed away. I am wearing exactly the same thing I was wearing when I found out she was coming. I am slowly learning to clean and cook and live our lives with an extra person around, we have figured out our new normal. This is our now. The newness is wearing off. I love the newness. I miss the newness. Sniff.

Another Meme

Janeen tagged me for this one a few weeks ago. I'm moving slowly these days......geez, can't figure out why.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
June 1997: I was teaching third grade in Virginia Beach and just finishing up the year. I was also trying to sell my cool townhome and packing my things into a u-haul because I was quitting that job and moving to West Virginia to live in sin with my future husband.




What were you doing 1 year ago?
June 2006: We had just arrived in West Virginia to spend a few weeks with the grandparents. I was vegging and loving it. I did nothing but hang outside by the kiddie pool and knit. Sometimes I would go out with friends and each one of them asked if I was going to try for a girl and I laughed my ass off after I choked on my beer.



Five snacks you enjoy:


1. lemon or lime slices

2. white cheddar cheez-its

3. snow cones

4. a tall glass of ice and Pepsi

5. Spoonfuls of peanut butter



Five songs that you know all the lyrics:


1. Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver

2. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

3. Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks

4. 1985 by Bowling for Soup

5. The Goodnight Song on Noggin



Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:


1. Buy a ridiculously extravagent house in a nice neighborhood

2. Set up trust funds for the kids

3. Get fifty yard line seats to every WVU football game and tailgate in the expensive spots in my cool RV

4. Travel the US in the same cool RV without worrying about gas

5. Buy A Louis Vuitton bag for me and all my friends just because I could




Five bad habits:


1. Eating too much junk food

2.Swearing

3. Complaining, I'm getting better on that one though....too tired to bitch I guess

4. I can't leave things on the floor, I'm a neat freak

5. I waste too much money on clearance crap at Target




Five things you like doing: (Not in any order of importance)


1.Knitting

2. sleeping

3. Taking naps with Elizabeth and Adam in the recliner

4. Watching Food Network

5. Playing board games with Jacob



Five things you would never wear again:


1. a strapless dress

2. white pants

3. socks

4. bras, once the bre*stfeeding is over

5. a bikini bathing suit



Five favorite toys:


1. My Laptop

2. The digital camera

3. Jacob's Gameboy

4. Webkinz

5. Itunes and Ipod



Let me know if you want to do this one too.

Six Weeks

Here are all my babies at six weeks old.

Elizabeth

Adam

Jacob

Who do you think Elizabeth looks most like?

Sleep....The Impossible Dream

My husband broke my baby.

In fact, he broke all of my children.

Elizabeth will not sleep in her crib. She was doing pretty well when we first brought her home and I was cautiously optimistic that the beautiful and expensive crib might finally see some use.

Then I got the mastitis and some migraine headaches and the husband tended to the baby for a few nights so I could get some rest.....if you call one hour stretches rest, but anyway, after I took over again last week I noticed that placing Elizabeth in the crib resulted in strange banshee wails unless I rocked her silly for over an hour to ensure she was completely asleep and even then she would only stay there for about fifteen minutes before the wailing began meaning I was reunited with my new boyfriend Bobby Flay in the recliner for another hour. Lather, rinse, repeat all night long.

So this weekend the husband graciously offers to do the night shift with the baby (minus the nursing). The "nursery" used to be our guest room so it still contains the full size bed which works out well for the night shifter, no shuffling from room to room all night. So, on Saturday I was jolted awake realizing I hadn't fed my baby in over three hours (although that amount of sleep was heavenly) and went in to check on her. You won't believe what I saw......the husband drooling in a deep sleep holding Elizabeth on her stomach face down in a fluffy pillow while he was sprawled out in that bed. You have got to be kidding me! I was livid! Not only did the stomach sleeping pillow thing bother me, but dear Lord, he did the same damn all night holding thing with the other two kids and he still wonders why they don't like to sleep in their beds by themselves! Shit, Jacob was four before he quit coming into our bed and it took lots of Thomas trains and Chuck E. Cheese trips to make that happen.

So, I've been tramping up and down the stairs for weeks now working my ass off trying to get that little girl to be a crib sleeper, our first crib sleeper, and it was all for nothing. So last night I threw in the towel and figured we'd return to the old reliable co-sleeping regimen that worked with the boys and you know what? Elizabeth isn't interested in co-sleeping....hell, no. Elizabeth is only interested in being slung across a shoulder or snuggled in a lap all night long. She will sleep no other way. I slept maybe two total hours last night, it was a fight.....a fight I am losing because guess where she is now......stretched out on her stomach in my lap sound asleep while my legs tingle.

Why the heck can't my kids just sleep like normal children? What is wrong with them?

We WILL sleep in your bed and there's nothing you can do about it!



You put me down! How dare you not hold me in your arms! You will pay!



But you love me anyway because I am so darn cute and before long I will be this big and embarrassed by you, so keep on holding me while you still can.

Six Weeks Old

Because Sadie looked so cute in hers.....

I swore I would never subject my child to the headband.

I now eat crow.