Tuesday Tidbits

Finally, more Tuesday Tidbits. I know ya'll just couldn't live without them.

I woke up around five this morning jammed between three children. One was twisting my hair, another was playing footsie, and the baby was sucking on a b**b. The husband was in the extra bed stretched out snoring alone. He may bring home the paycheck, but I am definitely earning it.

Husband pet peeve number two: Does he think we live in a dorm? Husband has taken to washing his work clothes rather than throw them in the hamper with the rest of the laundry. Why? Because I don't wash them right. Whatever. That's fine with me and he still allows me the privelage of washing all his socks and underwear and casual clothes. Yippee. Anyway, just like a college guy he never remembers to do his clothes until Sunday evening. Just like a college guy, if I have a load in the washer or dryer, he just takes it out and stashes it on top of the dryer or on the floor and moves his load right on through. I never notice or remember this until Monday mornings when I walk in to find the rest of the clothes stinking wherever he placed them. Gee, thanks. In one dorm I lived in you had to sign up for laundry time.....I am thinking of placing a sign up sheet on the laundry room door.

I don't know what to do with my blog. Should I change the title? I mean, I still have two boys and they still drive me crazy so it's not wrong, but how do I add the girl? I haven't been able to come up with anything snappy, so if you have any suggestions feel free to shoot them this way. I am also itching to customize the look more so if you're handy like that or know someone who is, I have a job for you.

I ordered Jacob's school supplies online. It was quick and convenient and I am relieved to be able to avoid the crowds, but I am a little sad not to be doing the back-to-school hunt with him. I loved shopping for school supplies when I was a kid, maybe it's because we rarely went shopping, but I loved the smell of new crayons and pencils and the look of a nice clean lunch box. Now the stuff just shows up on his desk the first day of school, no choosing of character folders or the contest to see who has the biggest crayon box. They don't even know what they're missing.

Anybody else watching The Next Food Network Star? If so, we can discuss it. Let me know.

I got invited to a high school reunion this week. Weird thing is, it isn't my high school. It was the high school I would have attended had we not moved at the end of ninth grade. Erin won't go with me and since she's the only person I still know from there I won't be going either, but shoot, I think that might have been a good time.

My parents refer to my baby as Rachel. They don't like Elizabeth. I don't know what to think about that.

My kids are sharing a bag of peanut butter baking chips for breakfast. I guess they got tired of waiting for me. Shh...don't tell.

Sing with me.....On my first day back home, Google sent to me:
aspergers or just crazy
what color are Michael Buble's underwear
Texas women peeing on the side of the road
and chocolate syrup b**bs

Interesting.

We're Back!

I'm bbbaacckk!


Got a load of unpacking to do, an empty refrigerator, and two unruly boys tearing the place apart, but we're home.

This is my first day with three kids all alone. I have to figure out a way to take them to the grocery store without losing my mind. I need to go to the post office too. I made my first goal of having them all dressed before noon. I haven't yelled at Jacob this morning, although he is driving me crazy reading my blogs over my shoulder. I have yet to panic about the fact that Elizabeth has caught the nasty cold my dad brought down and could possible have a fever. I haven't hidden Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper yet. I might be able to swing this after all. Of course, I am sure I would be a much better mama if I were making breakfast rather than blogging.

Three kids are harder to travel with than two. Cramming them into that back seat wasn't too bad, it was the packing. I did okay last week packing for two kids, but packing for three to come home was chaos. It took me most of yesterday to round up everything and we still left tons of things....important things like my pillow, Jacob's medicine, the nightlight, the breast pump pieces, and Jacob's beloved Webkinz pets. I used to be super organized, what happened to me?

Elizabeth was wonderful last week. It was almost like having baby Adam back she was so jolly and sweet. There were days that the only time she cried was when she was getting her medicine. The horrible, wretched medicine. The husband usually gives it to her so since he went back home last week it was up to me to administer the goo. It comes in powder form in a small packet that says mix with two tablespoons of water which becomes a pasty, stinky, pink mess that we give to her with either a medicine dropper of a spoon. Every evening I was thinking, my golly this is taking forever and geez she seems to really hate it a lot more now, but I continued shoving that crap down her throat every day while she wailed and screamed and my mom would wonder why we were giving her so much. Turns out I was mixing the half packet she was prescribed with the water for the full packet. DUH! I have a college degree. You'd never know it.

I am hoping I can kick my brain into gear to get back into our routine today. I have to deprogram Jacob after spending weeks with the grandparents. They are good to him, but just a little too good. It's back to chores and discipline for him, poor kid. I am also eager to see if Elizabeth's good humor will spread beyond the lake. Could the colic be behind us? Dare I hope? Wish me luck.

Vacation?

What day is it?

I love the lake, all the trees and quiet and lack of loud neighbors is so wonderful, but I am ready to go home. All this family togetherness is getting to me. The dog chose this week to get sick and the children all have snotty noses and it's too hot to just send them outside for the day. My dad hates Food Network and lets me know it every time I try to sneak a peek of Alton Brown or Paula Deen. I had big dreams of finally finishing that baby blanket I started last August, you know, pictures of an actual vacation in my mind, what a fool! I want to get home to get some rest.

I swear Jacob grew two inches while he was away, but his behavior hasn't improved that much. Adam was so happy to see him and they played so well together that first night, but now it's just one fight after another over the stupidest things. Adam has added a new word to his list: NO. We were so excited to hear him say it the first few times, but now, well now, it's not so cute. Especially that no with his arms crossed and spitting razberries at us. Elizabeth has actually done pretty well. Maybe the colic is ending now that she is approaching three months (three months? how?) or maybe it's just because she hasn't been put down since the grandparents arrived. Either way, I am happy to see more happy from her.

Yeah, I am ready to head home. I never thought I would say that about this place, but it's just way hard with three kids, two animals, and one crotchedy bored retired man wandering around. I need my AC, my computer, and my Bobby Flay to make it through the day. See you soon.

Have you missed me?

We're at the lake for the week in dial-up country. The grandparents brought Jacob back here and we have enjoyed his company for the most part. He's still Jacob after all, loves a good argument. He has spent the past six hours trying to convince me to drive a half hour to buy him a Game Boy cartridge. I had forgotten, as I always do, how the dust or a shut up home and the pine outside aggravates my allergies, so I have been on benedryl since we got here. Elizabeth is sleeping well as a result. We'll be back next week and I'll check in then since I forgot my computer cords and my battery is going dead. Have a good week ya'll!

Happy Fourth of July!

My Day So Far or Why Are We Awake so Early?

Totally stealing this from Jennifer who made me laugh while pacing this morning. Thank goodness I'm not the only one who has these kinds of days.


I heard Adam cry this morning as I was nursing the baby in my comfy bed. My comfy bed that my sweet baby has been wiggling in since 1 a.m. Look at the clock and see that it's 6:23 WAY too early for me and hope that Adam just falls right back to sleep. No such luck as he's scampering his way down the hallway and into my comfy bed in a matter of seconds. I pretend to sleep so he will too and it worked. Phew, two more hours of sleep please.

As I am dozing off I hear it, Elizabeth has chosen this moment to poop. I should change her right then, I know, but what if she's not done? Then I would *gasp* waste a diaper, so I wait and doze off just a bit until Elizabeth finishes her snack and decides 6:40 is a wonderful time to awaken so I begrudgingly play with her some as quietly as possible to keep from waking the boy. We play for a bit when I smell the smell and remember, oh yeah, she pooped and pick her up to find Huggies diapers suck and my baby and my comfy bed covered in yellow poop. DAMMIT! Look a gift horse in the mouth (what does that really mean?) and curse the gift givers who sent the Huggies diapers. I hate Huggies but I will use them because they were free.

As I tiptoe out of my poop filled room into the hallway I notice a long black line. What could that be? Shoot, Adam found the markers again, but no, he's been asleep and it wasn't there last night. Hmmm......closer, closer.....damn, stupid dog! That big oaf snuck upstairs and wiped his ass on our white carpet! Beautiful. More poop. How in hell am I supposed to clean that while holding a baby 24/7? Decide to leave that for husband to clean and figure out a way to keep the boy away from it all day.

I changed Elizabeth's diaper and then she was ready to play. She was happy! I sat down to giggle with her and we were having the best time when apparently something bit her in the ass because she went from smiling to screaming in a split second. Screaming, screaming, and more screaming, while I pray desperately that she doesn't wake Adam who's still in my comfy bed and now on my comfy pillow. Pace, jiggle, shush, repeat.

Thirty minutes later she's asleep in my lap. Adam is asleep in my comfy, yet pooped on bed (I scooted him and covered the poop with a towel, I wouldn't let him sleep in poop). I am going to find a place to crash and start this day over again. Two more hours of sleep please.

Ah crap, they're awake.

Blister in the Sun

I was driving down the road in my car this morning with both kids screaming in the back seat. Elizabeth, well because that's what she does and Adam, well he's developed a sudden dislike for the grocery store and that is where we were heading. So, kids are crying in the back seat and I turned up the music to drown them out some since I had forgotten the ipod at home when the Violent Femmes came on. I turned it up a bit louder because, oh yeah a good eighties tune, when a miracle happened. The children ceased their caterwauling! They seemed to be enjoying the tune. The Violent Femmes calmed them and all was right with the world.

Yep, no doubt about it, they are definitely their mama's children.

I wonder if they like The Cure too.

The Happiest Baby on The Block

The secret to making your baby the happiest baby on the block isn't the five s's after all. Poke her with a sharp metal stick four times and make her chug down some sweet concoction. Vaccinations people, that's where it's at!

Seriously, what is up with that? Elizabeth has been as jolly as a circus clown since going to the doctor yesterday. I think I actually heard her laugh today. It's been smiles and coos and big sweet eyes all day long except when she was napping......in her crib! She looks the same, but I swear, that isn't my child. Do you believe in alien abduction?

Honestly, I am beginning to think it may be the infant tylenol and that kind of worries me. I love the sudden happiness, but what if my poor girl is in pain EVERY DAY from something we don't know anything about? How stupid would I look asking my doctor to check my child because she's happy?

Or maybe she's just at that age where the colic mysteriously disappears......

Either way, we are loving the happy Elizabeth. We loved the grumpy one, but damn, laughing beats crying any day.

And did I mention she's sleeping in her crib? With her ticker? Alone? Yeah, I don't need to be blogging with you guys, I need to find my husband while I have these free arms. Opportunities like this don't roll around often in this crowded house.

Two Month Appointment

Elizabeth had her two month appointment this morning. I dressed her nicely for those dreaded vaccinations. I think I cried more than she did. You don't know how much I despise pumping her body full of all those viruses. I don't care if they are dead viruses, I still hate it. I always have this nagging thought that my kid might be one of the half percent of babies who has a deadly reaction to it so appointment day stresses me.

But anyway. Elizabeth appears healthy. She weighs ten pounds, ten ounces and is 22 inches long. I appeared to be quite the idiot regaling tales of all day screaming fits and refusals to nurse while Elizabeth smiled and cooed and put on her best happy sweet baby routine for the doctor. She didn't even cry when they poked her with all four of those needles. Jab her with a sharp stick, nothing. Look at her funny, scream for hours. Whatever. But Adam, man Adam is such a sweet kid. He sat up there the whole time with his sister during those shots holding her hand, rubbing her belly, and kissing her head. He's just so empathetic. I swear he'll end up a doctor himself someday because he's always trying to help everyone.

Tuesday Tidbits

Today is a better day. I can't believe we made it through yesterday. I didn't even get a shower or a meal yesterday. It was rough. Elizabeth has had her moments today, but she's actually been pretty happy much of it so I am enjoying her as much as I can until the next demon possession.

I can't believe that is the same girl I paced the floor with 24 hours ago. I already dread the teenage years.

Adam had his speech evaluation this morning. Three speech pathologists squeezed into our tiny living room and observed him and played with him and did some cognitive testing on him. His language development score was 19 months compared to his cognitive and social development which was over four years old. So, yeah, he'll be getting some speech therapy once a week until he turns three. They don't think he has any actual articulation problems just a lack of motivation to speak and the women let me know that my husband and I talk way too fast and we need to slow our speech down to the required Texas southern drawl for Adam to understand what we are saying. I think that's a load of crap as he can follow a three step direction given once, but what the hell, if they want slow speech, I'll give them slow speech. I tried it with Adam earlier and he looked at me like I was nuts. They also very slowly walked me through the IEP process and every time I would politely inform them that, uh yeah, I know the deal. I have a masters degree in this stuff after all, I could write a heck of a better IEP than they could, but since they are getting paid for it, I let them proceed. I hate having that IEP though. I hate that he needs one. Never did I ever think I would be on the other end of that process.

The Secret is working for me! I have been positively thinking about more money coming to us and just the other day an old man gave Adam a dollar at the Chinese buffet just because he was cute. It's a start.

You must get Brad Paisley's newest CD. It makes me almost forget he named his kid Huckleberry.

I think we have decided to go ahead and move Jacob on to first grade in August. I still have fears and and some uncertainty about it, but I do think it will probably be the best thing for him at this particular time. I met with his Sunday School teacher this week, the same lady who was his most awesome preschool teacher who has known him since he was three and whose opinion I value. She didn't feel he was as immature as his kindergarten teacher does and thought that the challenge of first grade would be beneficial to him and possibly help his social skills even more. If it turns into a big fiasco, the husband and I have agreed to pull him out and homeschool him for the remainder of the year and retain next year, but it will have to be a great big fiasco to take that step. At least we have a plan. Thank you all for thoughts and advice. I really did take them all into consideration.

Here is Elizabeth in the miracle blanket Beth mailed to her. We have been swaddling her since day one, but this one is wonderful because she can't kick out of it. She really does like it, I swear. Yes, I have food in my teeth. Aren't husband's required by vows to inform you of such things?

I don't think Adam could get any cuter......no wonder people are showering him with money.

If I Can't Console My Child, Please Someone Console Me

Holy Shit! This morning was the worst morning yet. What demon possessed my baby?

Nothing seemed remiss at the buttcrack of dawn when my children decided they needed to be awake. Adam was happily eating his frozen waffle and Elizabeth was cooing in the swing when, for no apparent reason, she began wailing. Nothing new, she doesn't stay long in that swing, but this time removing her didn't solve the problem. I walked around and jiggled her for a bit, nope, that didn't work. I sat in the chair and went for old reliable...the boob. Now usually the mere sight of the boobs renders her as speechless as a preteen boy with his first nudie magazine, but not today. I whipped out the swaddling blankets and that just pissed her off more. Two hours later, she was still screaming like a banshee and by then hadn't nursed in four hours. She never goes four hours between feedings...NEVER. She's a two and a half hour on the dot nurser during the day so I started to get a little concerned. I went back and did the jiggle dance and swaddle bit but she was still summoning the dead so I tried to feed her again. You would have thought those boobs were shooting fire because that made her even worse and I didn't even know there could be a worse! So of course I do what any other insane, sleep deprived, ear shattered mother would do....I panicked. Well, just a little. I picked up the phone and called the husband which I am strictly forbidden to do. This is how it went:

Me: Can you hear her? Somethings wrong with her.

Husband: She's crying. Babies cry

Me: (shooting daggers with my eyes, babies cry??) No, this is much different and you know what else, she won't nurse.

Husband: Maybe she doesn't like your milk today.

Me: (why the hell did I call him?) Oh yeah, that's it. I added chocolate syrup to it just this morning, she apparently isn't a fan.

Husband: You know what I mean. Is she sick?

Me: Well she's screaming like she's got something wrong with her.

Husband: Does she have a fever?

Me: No

Husband: Then she's not sick.

Me: But when M's baby died she told me that she screamed all day long and she even had to go out on the porch to get away from it and then when she finally calmed her and set her in the crib she came back ten minutes later and she was dead. (Me now sobbing) This is just like that. I don't want her to die.

Husband: You are a f*cking lunatic.

Me: Should I take her to the doctor?

Husband: Do whatever you think is best.

Me: You're not helping me.

Husband: I'll call the doctor and make an appointment to bring her in and tell them you think she is going to die.

Me: click


So then I proceed to cry great big honking tears and pump some milk hoping maybe she'll take a bottle. Nevermind that she's never had a bottle before, surely she'll just love one in the midst of her tirade but as I was attempting to give her that bottle she scrunched her face all up and pooped. And pooped and pooped and pooped. After three diaper changes, she finally did nurse and fall asleep for a little bit.....ah, sweet peace. Poor, poor girl, she's doing a little better, but Mommy sure could use a drink.

Elizabeth at Two Months

Two Months!

How can you be two months already?

You are growing so much! When we went to the doctor three weeks ago you weighed nine pounds, four ounces and I know you've grown bigger since then. You are wearing your 0-3 month clothes pretty well now. It's sad to pack up the preemie and newborn things already.

You have lost some of your hair in front so now you have a receding hairline just like Daddy. What's left is black in the back and red on the sides. I can't wait to see what color you actually end up with. I am rooting for red and you will hate it as a child but you'll love it when you grow up. Trust me on this one. Your eyes are a deep blue and seem more blue everyday. You do have a small brown stripe on your bottom right pupil so, who knows, they may end up brown in the end. You look so much like Jacob did as a baby, you even have his spiky hair and the notch in your left ear like him, but you have Adam's monkey toes and long legs.

You are still a screamer. Child, you could wake the dead and call dogs with that high pitched wail. I have never heard anything like it. You definitely like things your way. We must not lay you down anywhere ever. You must be in our arms or slung across our bodies at all times. You hate the stroller, the car seat, and the crib, but you will sometimes tolerate the swing for a very short time. A very short time. We are so looking forward to the day your happy outweighs your sad. You're working on it, I know it's hard.

At about six weeks old, the doctor prescribed prevacid for your colic and reflux. You hate to take it, but it does seem to have helped some. You are easier to burp and have quit the across-the-room spit ups since taking it.

We have found the secret formula to help you sleep: swaddling. We tried it early on and you would whip those legs and arms out of that blanket faster than we could tie it up, but thanks to the miracle blanket, you calm more easily and conk out quickly and stay asleep for three hours at a time. All hail the miracle blanket. You hate the process of being wrapped up, but once there you are in hog heaven. Dr. Karp is a genius.



You smile! And coo! I can't get enough of your sweet face when you are happy. I even play with you at 3:30 a.m. because I don't want to miss a minute of it. Yes, you like to be awake in the wee hours of the morning. I guess I can't blame you as I'm sure you have no sense of time, but it will be nice when you figure out that dark means sleep. I can't complain, though, as you do sleep pretty solid from 9:00 until 3:00, only waking once, usually around midnight, to nurse. It's been nice having you in bed with me. I missed you so far away in that crib.


Your brother still adores you and you have begun to take notice of him as well. You are so happy to see him when he wakes up in the morning and he is just so delighted to see you smile at him. I cannot wait until the two of you can sit and play the matchbox cars he brings you all day, even if that does mean you'll have to grow up a little more.


Nine weeks old and counting.....it's like you've been with us forever, yet like you just got here all at the same time. We love you Sister.

Any Suggestions?

Jacob will be home in less than three weeks.



I have truly missed him.



But with him gone I have been able to put out of my mind the fact that he will be starting first grade in August. Maybe.



I am still struggling with his ADD issues and whether first grade is the right place for him. Somedays I think it is, other days I change my mind.



He's a smart little kid. He could read every kid in his class under the table and could creatively write them out the door as well. Academically he's a star. Socially, not so much. I have to decide, and soon, how we will proceed here. Right now he's enrolled in first grade but there is still a spot in that transitional kindergarten if we want it. Do we want it? I don't know. Somedays he seems right on track with other kids his age and I am so encouraged and then other times he acts like a three year old and my heart breaks when I watch his peers make fun of him. Maybe this is just the way life will be for him. Maybe he's just weird and no amount of retention will make a difference. Maybe if we up his meds he will finally settle down enough to pick up on the social cues and finally calm himself to a point where other kids want to befriend him. What if I send him to first grade and the other kids mature so far ahead of him and tease him and he starts hating school and possibly himself? What if I put him in kindergarten and he watches his classmates, the classmates he knows aren't as bright as he is, go on to first grade and his self esteem plummets or he's a ticking time bomb due to the boredom in class? I am going crazy over here. My mind changes a hundred times a day. I fear that whatever decision I go with, it will be the wrong one.



A big part of me just wants to keep him home with me. I know full day school is going to be hard for him. Shoot, he's going to VBS this week for four hours a day and already complaining. He even fell asleep there today. He struggled that half day last year. By the time lunch time rolled around, he was done. How in the world will he last eight hours? I have always thought that children of five and six weren't ready for full days of schooling. When I taught kindergarten and first graders the afternoons were complete wastes. Even the second graders had a hard time focusing after lunch until around Christmas. Wouldn't it be nice if kindergarten started at age seven or eight? That would be the perfect solution for me. Then my kid wouldn't have to start college until he was 21 which I think is the perfect age for that also. I mean, I wasn't ready to live on my own at 18, he surely won't be. Yes, let's just change the way the world does things to better suit my needs. I have solved my problem. If it were only that simple. I would probably go ahead and home school him this year if Elizabeth didn't take up so much of my time but, really, how can he mature socially with others if he isn't around others? I just want to do the best thing for my kid, I just haven't figured out what it is yet. August should be loads of fun.

Happy Anniversary!

My husband and I have been married eight years today.

And my in-laws thought (hoped) it would never last.

We look so young and rested there. Three kids, two pets, two homes, five jobs, and three family medical crises later, here we are. I can't say it's always been easy and to be quite honest, I can't say we have always liked each other, but we have always been there for one another.

Like any other little girl I had big dreams for my wedding day but it turned into a chaotic freak show. My dad drove off in the car leaving my sister and mother at the motel missing their hair appointments. I got into a huge fight with the hairdresser because she was pissed they hadn't made the appointment while I am waiting there with my best friends wondering if they had been in an accident and killed. I arrived home to find my husband's family members scattered throughout my house, undressed for the wedding, four hours early, without RSVPing, using our ONE bathroom to spiff themselves up. Screw the bride and groom. Our house was a complete disaster following the rehearsal dinner we hosted the night before. Someone left the shrimp out and the place stunk. Derick's mom kept letting the dog loose and my cat was shaking under a bed somewhere. My aunt, who had my wedding dress (I still don't know why) got lost in our small town and arrived late to the church, but that was allright because I was late as well trying to get Derick's family off my couch and out of my house. I cried like a baby leaving my dog there alone knowing I wouldn't see him for a full week, honeymoon and all (oh, how times have changed). My sister had to drive back to retrieve my makeup and the ring-bearer pillow and I think the photographer had started drinking before the festivities. The wedding began around 3:30 instead of 3:00 like the invitations stated. The ceremony was short and sweet, I began cracking up in the middle of it for whatever reason and I look like a complete ditz on the video. My parent's neighbor pulled my veil off in the receiving line and I never could get it back on correctly so I had the worst hair day ever in my posed wedding photos. We made it to the reception in record time but apparently not soon enough for my dad who ran right up to us as they announced us in the door to let me know they wouldn't serve drinks until we arrived and I better go right then to let them know I was there because my uncle was paying for drinks out of pocket for everyone at the bar next door. The reception was a complete blast though. The food was awesome and the drinks kept flowing. By the end of the evening I just quit using the cups and drank out of the champagne bottles left on the tables, very bride-like I know. I mean, I was paying for that, I wasn't about to waste it. When I went to change for the drive to the airport motel, I realized I didn't have any shoes to wear on my honeymoon and my poor mom, the only sober one in the place, had to drive the half hour back home to fetch some. My dad and uncle got mighty tipsy and moved on to the bar after the drinks ran out. Our friends and my husband and me shut the place down. They actually made us leave, but that was allright because we were supposed to be at the Pittsburgh Hilton hours earlier anyway. So my wedding wasn't quite as fancy as I had pictured it as a little girl, but it was ours....chaotic and crazy and sometimes fun, just like our life has been.

Return of the Sling

It's over. She wins.

Elizabeth hasn't slept in her crib in three nights. I haven't even tried to go there with her.

She is co-sleeping with me and we are getting some sleep. Not a full night of sleep, but more sleep than we've seen in many weeks and I haven't had to hang out in the recliner either. So long, Bobby Flay, it was fun while it lasted.

I actually feel good about this. I think I am a total attachment parenter at heart so I feel some relief heading back to my roots.

I wanted a crib baby mainly so I could nap her there in the afternoons and hang out with my non-nappers during that time. I also have an Angelcare monitor hooked up to the crib that is supposed to detect breathing lapses and, therefore, eliminating the need to lay my hand on her chest or stick my finger under her nose every half hour like I did with the boys. Am I the only mother who does that?


The ticking of that monitor was a huge comfort to me. You see, I live in complete fear of something happening to my babies. I know six families, personally, whose infants died from SIDS and wonder what is the connection, what happened to them and what's to say it won't happen to my baby as well. I know the odds are slim, but still. When Jacob was a baby, I actually convinced myself, in my PPD haze, that I could stay awake all night long and watch him breathe for an entire year, oh yes I did, until my body pretty much collapsed on me and I would fall asleep at the kitchen table or in the car......and I wonder why Jacob has so many issues. I have relaxed somewhat since then, I know I have done all I can to prevent this from happening to my daughter and aside from this post and my incessant need to hear that tick, I don't think about it much.


Anyway, we have turned a corner here in the Boy Crazy household. Thanks to Dr. Karp, the miracle blankets Beth so kindly sent me, the sling Lori generously gave me, and quite possibly the prevacid, the colic is slowly ending (knock on wood). Thank you all for the good advice and thanks Beth and Lori for going out of your way to help me out.

Happy baby makes a happy Mama!

Who Likes Tea?

Further proof that I need more sleep.....


I strolled throught the mall yesterday afternoon and stopped in my favorite tea store. I hadn't planned to buy any, but they had an awesome sample that I could not live without so I went to the counter and told the teenage, nose-ringed dude that I would have some of that nice sample. Now, you buy the tea by bulk, two ounces for set price. I have been in this place before and ordered tea and that was the way they gave it to me...two ounces in a bag. So I tell teenage employee that I want a bag of the nice tea and Elizabeth starts to fuss and Adam tries to make a dash for the door and when I turn back around I notice he has two canisters out. I tell earring dude I only wanted the tea that was advertised. He showed me where, in very fine print, that the tea advertised is a blend so he has to mix two together to get what I am now totally craving. So I think about it a little, jiggle my screaming baby and decide, okay, it doubles the price but I can just see that scrumptious tea totally turning my day around in my head, shoot, it might make my baby quiet as I relax in my chair taking in the tea just like it shows on the picture on the wall. So, I say sure, I want a bag of that delicious tea. So after a few laps through the store and more tasty samples, I return to retrieve my bag of tea and I notice, that's not four ounces of tea. That's enough tea to to last me until my kids go to college. That dude filled that bag, I mean, it was bulging. So I told him I only wanted a bag of the tea and he looks at me like I'm a complete dumb ass because, frankly I must be, so I ask how much tea is in that bag....there's twelve ounces of tea in that bag! I am still working on the two ounces I bought back in March! Did I mention that each tea cost between four and five dollars for two ounces? So yeah, you can do the math. Apparently I was to specify how many ounces I wanted and, no, he couldn't unblend that tea so I am stuck with it. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all love tea. So, I get it home and decide to use The Secret and find the positive in the situation and am glad I have enough tea to have three cups a day if I wish, shoot, I can make iced tea! Yeah, I'm going to have some tasty iced tea with dinner. So, I take my hefty bag of tea from it's cute little bag and see teenager has slapped a huge sticker on it that says "100% of caffeine content. As much caffeine as a cup of coffee". Wonderful. There's a reason I drink tea over coffee, it's because I can't handle coffee after 11 a.m. or I'll be awake all night. Figures.

Birthing three children turns your brain to mush, but at least I will have that tea to keep me awake.

Tuesday Tidbits

Oh, will the crying ever end? Elizabeth is a screaming machine. I have never seen anything like it. I even took her to the doctor one day last week, of course she shut the f*ck up over there. Different doc put her on a daily dose of prevacid which is a bitch to get down and, so far, I'm not seeing that it helps much. Dear Lord, even Jacob gave it a rest now and then. Different doc says to me, "Does she cry at least three hours a day?" Lady, she cries 12 hours a day AT LEAST...."Well, I guess it could be colic then." YA THINK?

The colic is getting better though, in the sense that, well, she's not crying 18 hours a day anymore and just when I want to drive her back to the hospital and declare her defective she'll stop and smile at me and give a little coo and my heart will melt and I will then pronounce her the best baby ever until the next time.



Some of the things my husband does gets on my nerves. I am thinking about making it a weekly entry. I love him, but geez louise where does he come up with some of this stuff. Here's this week's pet peeve: When the husband finishes a drink from a glass, he insists that it sit on the counter instead of going into the dishwasher because he is going to use it again later that day. When I wake up the next morning there are at least five glasses scattered over various places on the counter and/or table. He NEVER reuses the glass. I can't sneak the damn glasses into the dishwasher, though, hell no, we have come to near blows over that. I will never understand this. I have bought paper cups for him and he does the same damn thing. My brother in law does this too. Is it some sort of man thing?


Have you heard of The Secret? I got this book at the library and thought, what the heck? It seems to be a lot of positive thinking and visualization mumbo jumbo but what's wrong with being a little happier and thinking of millions of dollars rather than the stack of bills in front of you, no? I'll let you know if it works....so far my visualizations of a non-colicky baby have not come to fruition. I guess Elizabeth doesn't know the secret.



I bought Seinfeld seasons seven and eight for Derick's Father's Day gift. He didn't necessarily want that and I only picked it up so I would have something good to watch during my nightly feeding/shushing/pacing routine. Is this wrong?



She's so sweet she makes my teeth hurt. The colic ends soon right?

Out With the New

Look what Elizabeth can do!

No more newborn baby at my house. It's so sad. I love brand new, wrinkly red, lay like a lump newborns. I love that moment when you hear your baby cry for the first time and see her swaddled like a papoose with her beanie hat the next. I love the cradle cap and baby acne and crossed eyes. I can't believe there will be no more newborns for me. I could cry.

I do, however, enjoy watching my newborn grow into a baby. She's pulling up and trying to hold her head steady. She is smiling and cooing and turning her head to follow us around the room. She has a double chin and thunder thighs and a perfect belly button. I could eat her up, she is that delicious, but she keeps growing, she won't slow down and that breaks my heart just a little with every new skill and every little outfit she outgrows. She's my last baby and I am trying so hard to hang on to every moment of it.


Next week, Elizabeth will be two months old. TWO MONTHS OLD! That means only ten more months until her first birthday. Didn't I just have a baby yesterday? In the chaos that is round the clock feeding and crying, two months passed by, how did that happen? My body has healed and the maternity clothes have been packed away. I am wearing exactly the same thing I was wearing when I found out she was coming. I am slowly learning to clean and cook and live our lives with an extra person around, we have figured out our new normal. This is our now. The newness is wearing off. I love the newness. I miss the newness. Sniff.

Another Meme

Janeen tagged me for this one a few weeks ago. I'm moving slowly these days......geez, can't figure out why.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
June 1997: I was teaching third grade in Virginia Beach and just finishing up the year. I was also trying to sell my cool townhome and packing my things into a u-haul because I was quitting that job and moving to West Virginia to live in sin with my future husband.




What were you doing 1 year ago?
June 2006: We had just arrived in West Virginia to spend a few weeks with the grandparents. I was vegging and loving it. I did nothing but hang outside by the kiddie pool and knit. Sometimes I would go out with friends and each one of them asked if I was going to try for a girl and I laughed my ass off after I choked on my beer.



Five snacks you enjoy:


1. lemon or lime slices

2. white cheddar cheez-its

3. snow cones

4. a tall glass of ice and Pepsi

5. Spoonfuls of peanut butter



Five songs that you know all the lyrics:


1. Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver

2. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

3. Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks

4. 1985 by Bowling for Soup

5. The Goodnight Song on Noggin



Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:


1. Buy a ridiculously extravagent house in a nice neighborhood

2. Set up trust funds for the kids

3. Get fifty yard line seats to every WVU football game and tailgate in the expensive spots in my cool RV

4. Travel the US in the same cool RV without worrying about gas

5. Buy A Louis Vuitton bag for me and all my friends just because I could




Five bad habits:


1. Eating too much junk food

2.Swearing

3. Complaining, I'm getting better on that one though....too tired to bitch I guess

4. I can't leave things on the floor, I'm a neat freak

5. I waste too much money on clearance crap at Target




Five things you like doing: (Not in any order of importance)


1.Knitting

2. sleeping

3. Taking naps with Elizabeth and Adam in the recliner

4. Watching Food Network

5. Playing board games with Jacob



Five things you would never wear again:


1. a strapless dress

2. white pants

3. socks

4. bras, once the bre*stfeeding is over

5. a bikini bathing suit



Five favorite toys:


1. My Laptop

2. The digital camera

3. Jacob's Gameboy

4. Webkinz

5. Itunes and Ipod



Let me know if you want to do this one too.

Six Weeks

Here are all my babies at six weeks old.

Elizabeth

Adam

Jacob

Who do you think Elizabeth looks most like?

Sleep....The Impossible Dream

My husband broke my baby.

In fact, he broke all of my children.

Elizabeth will not sleep in her crib. She was doing pretty well when we first brought her home and I was cautiously optimistic that the beautiful and expensive crib might finally see some use.

Then I got the mastitis and some migraine headaches and the husband tended to the baby for a few nights so I could get some rest.....if you call one hour stretches rest, but anyway, after I took over again last week I noticed that placing Elizabeth in the crib resulted in strange banshee wails unless I rocked her silly for over an hour to ensure she was completely asleep and even then she would only stay there for about fifteen minutes before the wailing began meaning I was reunited with my new boyfriend Bobby Flay in the recliner for another hour. Lather, rinse, repeat all night long.

So this weekend the husband graciously offers to do the night shift with the baby (minus the nursing). The "nursery" used to be our guest room so it still contains the full size bed which works out well for the night shifter, no shuffling from room to room all night. So, on Saturday I was jolted awake realizing I hadn't fed my baby in over three hours (although that amount of sleep was heavenly) and went in to check on her. You won't believe what I saw......the husband drooling in a deep sleep holding Elizabeth on her stomach face down in a fluffy pillow while he was sprawled out in that bed. You have got to be kidding me! I was livid! Not only did the stomach sleeping pillow thing bother me, but dear Lord, he did the same damn all night holding thing with the other two kids and he still wonders why they don't like to sleep in their beds by themselves! Shit, Jacob was four before he quit coming into our bed and it took lots of Thomas trains and Chuck E. Cheese trips to make that happen.

So, I've been tramping up and down the stairs for weeks now working my ass off trying to get that little girl to be a crib sleeper, our first crib sleeper, and it was all for nothing. So last night I threw in the towel and figured we'd return to the old reliable co-sleeping regimen that worked with the boys and you know what? Elizabeth isn't interested in co-sleeping....hell, no. Elizabeth is only interested in being slung across a shoulder or snuggled in a lap all night long. She will sleep no other way. I slept maybe two total hours last night, it was a fight.....a fight I am losing because guess where she is now......stretched out on her stomach in my lap sound asleep while my legs tingle.

Why the heck can't my kids just sleep like normal children? What is wrong with them?

We WILL sleep in your bed and there's nothing you can do about it!



You put me down! How dare you not hold me in your arms! You will pay!



But you love me anyway because I am so darn cute and before long I will be this big and embarrassed by you, so keep on holding me while you still can.

Six Weeks Old

Because Sadie looked so cute in hers.....

I swore I would never subject my child to the headband.

I now eat crow.

Restaurant Meme

I was tagged by Sadie with the eating out meme. These are the rules:
1. Link to the name of the person who tagged you.
2. Include the state and country you’re in.
3. List your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
4. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.



I live in Houston, Texas.



1. Gaidos in Galveston We dont' go there very often as it's a little damaging to the old pocketbook, but the food is good, the atmosphere is nice, and we enjoy watching the water from our table. I order the Shrimp Michael with Parmesan Tomatoes everytime. Geez, I would love some of that right this very minute.



2. The Mediterranean Chef We just stumbled upon this place one afternoon. It's in what appears to be a small house and you can just drive right past it and not know it's there. Wonderful hummus and awesome dolmas and the waitresses always give Jacob an order of baklava for free and he allows them to love all over him, even when he was two and hated ladies.



3. Capones Pizza Pub For the best NY style thin crust pizza, this is the place. It's close to home, too, so you can't beat that. They also have great buffalo wings. We don't eat in many places anymore, the kids make that experience less than enjoyable, but we'll take them into Capones with a thought. It has a great atmosphere, they have the table trivia games, and now that I am not pregnant, I can enjoy their pitcher specials one day.



4. La Casita An old work friend brought me here right after Jacob was born. I never would have found it otherwise as it's out in the boonies, in a neighborhood next to the owner's home. There's a picture of the casat of Apollo 13 on the wall who they say ate there frequently while they filmed at NASA. There is even a Tom Hanks special on the menu (three chicken enchiladas). We quit our old favorite mexican for this one.



5. Central Texas BBQ It's a little further away than I am willing to drive most of the time, but the meat is good and the sides are better. I could live on their stuffed jalapenos and potatoes.



I tag everybody because everyone lives somewhere different

Tuesday Tidbits

Can I just say that I am glad last week is over? Last week brought Tums swallowing, vitamin swallowing, a couch tumble, two severe head bumps, a car accident, a feverish two year old, an intestinally challenged infant, and a bout of mastitis. Yes, glad it's over with. No surprises this week please.

The girl has recently acquired neon green poop. Anybody out there have any clue what could be causing this?

Memorial Day was a bust. It poured and poured and poured. We had planned on grilling out and going to the pool, but instead we stayed in and took turns napping. I think I enjoyed that way more than a cook-out.

The speech people are supposed to be contacting us this week about evaluating Adam. Of course, now that we've got the ball rolling he starts saying more words. Last week he added this, look, bug, tea, boo-boo, and Beth. He does most of his talking to the baby so I guess he figured she didn't understand grunt.

I need a new sling, something less wintery thick as I don't want to fry my baby like an egg in the Texas heat. If you've used one and loved it, please let me know.

Oh Charlie, WHY??? How could you throw your life away like that? How can I watch Lost again without you? Will Penny save the islanders? What was the deal with the bearded Jack....future flashups?

I have a meme in the works. If you want to be tagged let me know.

Looks like our week is already starting off a bit better.....




Nothing better than a smiley baby......green poop and all.

Elizabeth at 1 Month

Dear Elizabeth,

What a ride it's been baby girl! Not only did you surprise us since the day we discovered you were joining us, you shocked us by missing some parts as well. Our darling Ethan (or Nate, Samuel, Andrew, or Noah) turned into an Elizabeth in the blink of an eye and we couldn't be more thrilled.

It took us a while to get used to changing girly diapers and the presence of pink blankies and pacifiers, but we are slowly getting the hang of it. I cannot tell you how much I love dressing you in sweet little dresses. My very own baby doll.

At one month old, you weigh about seven and a half pounds and are probably about 21 inches long by now. You wore preemie diapers your first two weeks and are now in newborn diapers, but we will switch you to size ones on our next shopping trip. You have begun to get little fat rolls on your thighs and I could eat up your double chin. You are still wearing newborn clothing and most of the 0-3 are too big for you, but I suspect in the next two weeks you will be wearing them just fine.

You were born with dark black hair and gray eyes. In the past week or so you have taken on a kind of calico cat do, you have stripes of black and stripes of red. It has been suggested that we call you Kitty. Your eyes are becoming more and more blue. You started smiling maybe a week ago and are doing it more and more. I think you might have a dimple like Jacob.

Life as a baby hasn't been easy for you. You cry. Alot. You shriek, in fact. It's a bit unsettling for us, but we'll try anything to calm you. You currently have a mylicon addiction and just seeing the bottle will soothe your cries. You do not like to be left alone in the crib, but you will sleep there about thirty-forty minutes before you wake up wailing. You must sleep in someone's arms and, where I love to hold you, it's hard to do all day with your brother in the house.

Speaking of brother....Adam adores you. He cried like, well, a baby, the first time he saw me holding you and I was sure jealousy would be a huge issue for him, but a few hours later he was kissing your head and calling you sissy and he has loved you ever since. You are the first person he looks for when he wakes in the morning and the last person he says good night to at night. I don't think I am his favorite person anymore.

We looked forward to your arrival for so long and are now absolutely giddy (when we're not bone tired) getting to know you and learn the girly way of things. I anticipate much more pink in the coming months. This first month has been pretty much the basic eat,sleep, poop, and cry of all newborns, I feel the real fun is just beginning. Can't wait to see what month two brings us.

He'll Eat That, but Refuses to Eat a Meal......

Ah....sorry about the rant yesterday. Lack of sleep does not make me a jolly person. I do appreciate the support and suggestions. It's nice to have an internet shoulder to cry on.



I didn't get any sleep last night either but for an entirely different reason.



We spent the night in the emergency room.



Don't believe it when a bottle says it has a child proof cap.



Sometime after the nightly bathtime ritual, Adam climbed onto a high shelf and retrieved my bottle of prenatal vitamins and apparently thinking they were candy and delicious had a few. He did that all in the amount of time it took my husband to take a leak, two minutes tops. We didn't know how many he had, or if he even actually swallowed any, but his breath had that rank vitamin smell so we called the pediatrician and she sent us downtown to the "best" children's hospital. This was at 8:30. We were cleared to leave at 3:30 after x-rays showing no iron mass, a four hour wait for an iron level blood draw, and being stored in a tiny room with a baby they thought had meningitis. Yes, my newborn infant shared air with a possible meningitis patient. You know I flipped out about that. I looked around and we were the only family sharing a room.....sharing a room with a kid who could be deathly, contagiously ill......why? I would have gladly waited longer to have avoided that scenario. I just hope at this point that baby got an unnecessary spinal tap and has a benign virus, but there's no way for me to know since we were discharged before they received their results. I am going to be a basket case for the next few days...hypochondria galore.



Anyway, Adam's iron level was 278 when it should have been 50-60. He probably got at least four of those tablets before we caught him. If his level had been 350 or higher he would have been admitted and given a charcoal treatment and social services would have been called. Needless to say the husband cleared our home of all medications, some hit the trash and the necessities are in a locked closet in a locked room and he will be pretty much tethered to one of us at all times.



Oh, the joys of living with a two year old!

Tuesday Tidbits.....sort of

Well, Jacob is on his way to his summer vacation. It is extremely quiet around here much of the time. I miss him terribly and Adam does too, although he is really enjoying playing with his brother's toys. The kindergarten graduation went well. They sang songs and recited bible verses and walked up to receive their diplomas like perfect little soldiers....except for Jacob who waved at me and blew kisses and yelled how much he loved me from the stage. Sometimes it's nice to have a kid with no social inhibitions.





With Jacob gone, that means Gammy is gone too. Also gone are morning showers, afternoon naps, lunch, and breakfast. I get about three hours of sleep each night and that's spread out over eight hours. My night is a series of thirty minute feedings, ten minute burpings, fifteen minute rockings, and the fifteen minute transer to crib-back pat-shushing routine and then she's up again an hour later to begin it all again, IF I don't have to go back to her ten minutes later to administer the pacifier shove and back pat routine. To say I am tired is an extreme understatement.



So I am alone all day now with two kids in diapers. I have only had to call poison control once so far and I only had to clean up one lotiony mess. I have gotten bitten, pinched, and slapped and have paced with a screaming baby for hours on end. The meals have stopped coming so we ate cheez-its and muffins for dinner last night. Tonight.....frozen waffles if I can find them. I have no earthly idea when I will ever make it to the grocery store again so I feel like the Lost castaways before they found the hatch with all the food. I am seriously considering selling those pearls so I can pay for a maid or at least some teenager who can come play with my attention starved two year old for a few hours each day. Mother of the Year I'm not.


The incessant crying is getting to me. It has gone from a two hour nightly thing to an all day/all night scream fest. I guess it was good Adam was such a great baby because had he been like this I would have ripped my own uterus out with a rusty fork.


Geez, I miss my big kid, at least he doesn't cry.


But with that being said...I do love these little creatures immensely. I am extremely lucky to have three healthy kids. I know I won't be sleep deprived forever and the crying will end eventually (won't it?) I truly do love the tiny infants and I know I will miss this stage when it's over. They may not be the easiest kids in the world, but they sure are the cutest......

Is This the Little Boy I Carried?

The cutest picture to ever make a mama bawl like a baby.

Is it just me or do you also see a high school senior standing there?

That wasn't nice to do to a hormonal woman.

Happy Graduation Baby! I hope the remaining school years drag much more slowly than this one did.

Greasy Goodness Part Deux

You think I would learn from past mistakes....


I have not yet mastered the art of chasing a two year old and nursing a baby simultaneously, don't judge me.


We lost Adam again this morning. I thought he was downstairs with my mom, she thought he was upstairs with me and when comparing notes discovered that neither one of us had a clue where he had been for ten minutes and a quick sweep found him in Elizabeth's room with an industrial, Sam's Club size jar of Vaseline....or what was left of the Vaseline anyway.

FYI....Vaseline is MUCH harder to clean than Vaporub and there's no pleasant smell to open your sinuses as you do.

So....today we bid farewell to two of Jacob's beloved stuffed animals (he hasn't noticed yet), a couple of pacifiers, the baby's ultracool aquarium play mat, and one very cute fishy green outfit that I was a tad attached to as Jacob wore it continuously his entire second year. The daddy is also going to be less than pleased to see the new shiny spots on the wall and carpet. He's also not going to like the broken, bent-up window screen either, but I am still wondering what it was doing in the house to begin with.

I am afraid to see what might happen tomorrow.

Tuesday Tidbits

American Idol......Melinda, Blake, or Jordin? I don't really care, I haven't kept up with it this year like I have in the past, but it would be wrong for Melinda to go home without something. She's by far the better vocalist in the whole group, although I probably wouldn't itune any of their songs anyway, so whatever.


My husband's job just switched his schedule to 12 hour days with every other Friday off. I am wishing this could have been done this past year because that extra time with Jacob would have been good for him, but hallelujah!, that's once every two weeks I don't have to drive the kid to school and might possibly be able to sleep in....well, if I didn't have a tiny piranha hanging off of me every two hours, but still, that has to end sometime right?

My baby will be a month old this week. Where did those weeks go? I am already missing the teeny newborn infant stage. She started smiling a bit and interacts more. I miss that lumpy baby! Would you laugh at me if I told you I wanted just one more? Yep, I really do, but I believe it's all hormonal as I felt like this after having Adam and by the time he was nine months old I was giving away some of our baby stash. Of course, my OB told me that it would be dangerous to have a fourth child as my uterus was completely worn out making me high risk for a rupture and I had to think.....how in hell is it that my uterus gave out after three but that Duggar woman is still going like the Energizer bunny expecting her 17th next month? Oy.

I watched the series finale of King of Queens last night. It was a good wrap up, but the whole Chinese adoption thing irked me. Not that they adopted from China but because three weeks after deciding to adopt from China they got a call and a picture of their four day old baby. Uh, that does not happen. Now I am no expert in Chinese adoption, but my friend is. It took her tons of paperwork and interviews and money plus thirteen months of waiting to bring her daughter home and that was two years ago. They are in the process again and she tells me that the laws have changed and they have many more hoops to jump through this time so it will be at least two years before they are even matched with a child. CBS dropped the ball on that one.

Sadie, I thought of you while my baby was being born. A Daughtry song was playing on the radio.

They cancelled Crossing Jordan. Was I the only one who watched that show?

My quest for the perfect Mother's Day photo didn't go well.....

I couldn't find Adam for a bit this afternoon. I checked his usual hide-outs with no luck.

Here is where I found him.

I don't care if his legs are dragging the ground, he's still my baby.

I have officially boycotted Mother's Day.

I think I will do this every year.

It has nothing to do with gifts and gratitude. My husband presented me with a set of pearls...pearls for a woman who wears shorts and sandals daily, but pearls...ok. There were stale donuts and glasses of milk and that was ok too.

What I would really have loved more than anything was for my son to keep his mouth shut for ten freaking minutes so I could have enjoyed it.

I am at my wit's end with Jacob. The medication isn't helping him. If anything, it has made him twice as aggressive as before. He speaks to me with such rudeness and disrespect that I have to stifle my first instinct to slap him. No punishment works with him so the behavior continues. I have charts and stickers and chores and rewards but he still acts like a sullen teenager and I have had enough. This morning I gave him the card he chose for his Gammy and told him to sign it, nothing else. He proceeded to throw a fit worthy of a two year old girl about how that wasn't his card and he wasn't signing it and it escalated from there. I put him in his room but that doesn't phase him. He went to church with his dad and apparently got all kinds of luxuries there so he came home and continued his fit when I wouldn't let him play on the computer as punishment for his tirade. Now Dad took the boys out away from me to "give me some peace" so I am spending Mother's Day pretty much alone. I still have the bottomless pit who loves me only because I am her human milk machine, but I am alone. No PF Changs, no fun activity, nothing.

Jacob is supposed to go to WV with his Gammy next weekend. He will be there until mid-July. This has been the plan for months, although he was supposed to come home late June but, naturally, my dad planned some sort of something and they can't bring him home until after the fourth. I am sad that I won't be spending the summer with my kid. I would love more than anything to take him to the pool, sign him up for sports, have lunch together, but I know even if he stays here things won't work out like that. I know he will fight me tooth and nail all summer long and it makes me sad knowing that where I will miss him, part of me will be relieved not to have to deal with that crap for eight solid weeks. This was our last weekend together. Instead of filling it with fun and love, it's turned into torment and disaster. No more Mother's Days for me please.

We finally figured out someplace to put the children in this shoe box of a house.

Two weeks ago, give or take, the husband took a cruise through the furniture store, just to look, and four days later the truck came with $1400 worth of bunk beds, dressers, and desks. Yes, the same husband that will not commit to even looking for a new couch when we so desperately need one, threw down the cash to make these boys a nice, new room.

We spent the weekend moving all of Adam's things into Jacob's room and pinkifying Elizabeth's room with the Good Will hand-me-downs that the neighbors, the one's who don't speak to us, dumped off on our porch the day we brought her home. Hey, free used pink crap, we aren't too proud to take it. I even got so bold as to hang all of her pink clothing and place a pink, flowery sheet on the crib. The Blues Clues banner is still hanging in there, but other than that, it's a nice place for a little girl. I might be able to show off my "nursery" yet.

I, personally, hate bunk beds with a fierce passion. The biggest reason being that right after they buried my grandpa in 1973, they buried a four year old girl right behind him, her name was Alicia, and she died falling from the top bunk of beds belonging to her brothers. I have been fearful of them ever since. Jacob is sleeping on the top bunk and I don't worry too much about him because he has always liked to hug the wall, but Adam believes he is Superman so we have to store the ladder in the closet all day long and then just pray that if he does wake up at night, he comes in for us rather than trying to get up with his brother. Did I tell you that my intelligent husband took Adam out "to play" and then drug a ladder to the roof so he could inspect the satellite dish and he turned around and found Adam on the roof with him? Yeah, we put the bed ladder up, but playing on top of the two story house is ok, but I digress.....

Another reason I hate the bunk beds is that the top one is impossible to make. Have I mentioned before that I just cannot function unless all the beds are made each morning? Jacob takes care of it pretty well, but he doesn't have time to do it before school, it's a tad more difficult so he does it when he gets home. I try not to go in there until school's out, drives me nuts. The husband swears he will do all sheet changing in that room, we'll see about that but I just know that I won't be doing it. Can you just see me crawling to the ceiling and scrambling about to put sheets on that thing? I think not. But as much as I despise them, they have freed up a ton of floor space in the room which means kids can play in the room again, toys can stay upstairs, my downstairs can cease to be a toy store somewhat. For that, I am really happy and you know what they say....If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Tuesday Tidbits

It's hard for me to get to the computer these days. I can effectively ignore my older two kids when I want to blog, turn on the other computer or a video, but the baby isn't into those things yet and she likes to be held and entertained all day long so my blogging time is limited. Sorry about that.


Did I tell you about our meeting with the psychologist? No? Well, basically, Jacob has ADHD and she recommended that we try medication rather than putting him in the transitional kindergarten next year. He has been on medicote, or something like that, for about two weeks now. I can tell a difference in the way he waits in line and can now carry on a phone conversation, but other than that I can't see that it's helping all that much. We were really relieved to find out that he 1. was not autistic, 2. had a great self-concept, and 3. it is no way our fault (take that family!). Hopefully we will get this medication issue figured out before first grade starts in August. How is it that he is old enough to be in first grade? Wasn't he just a baby?

I cannot get over the amount of pink things coming into my house these days. People we haven't heard from in years have sent gifts and cards. I am grateful for it all, but poor Adam only raked in two things when he was born and we may have gotten three cards. This is what I was talking about.....if Elizabeth had been a boy, I doubt others would be that interested in her. The biggest thing that peeved me was that my FIL sent five really cute outfits and a card, but he never did that for the boys, and could he have just dropped a note into the box for at least Jacob? Heck no. Oh well, at least my little one will be well dressed in six to nine months.

Since I was cleared to drive yesterday, I am hoping to pick up with my regular life again. I want to buy my own groceries and pick up my kid from school. The husband's birthday is this weekend so I need to go find a gift and, of course, I cannot forget my mother after all she's done for us the past few weeks. I have no idea where to begin. I do know that I won't have to cook any meals because between the few friends we have here, my MOPS group, and some of Jacob's classmate's parents we have had meals catered to us ever since we returned home from the hospital. We didn't have this luxury the last times and we are enjoying every second of it.

And because I am at a loss for words, sleep deprived and medicated you know.......pictures:

I Really Miss the Adjustable Bed....

I love going to the hospital. I hate the whole possible dying thing that goes along with it, but I find the hospital to be the closest thing to a child free hotel stay that I am going to get for a while. I mean, the bed can be adjusted...head AND feet, I get three square meals a day that I don't have to prepare and can be eaten right in that adjustable bed, even the clear liquid diet is good on those terms. When my child cries in the middle of the night, I can buzz for someone to come whisk her away so I can finish my slumber AND someone will come right to my bedside to administer good sleep inducing drugs....what's not to love about that?

Well, here are a few things I didn't really love about the last stay:

1. You know how each baby is fitted with an ankle monitor ala Martha Stewart after it's birth that is supposed to buzz bloody murder if some crazy person tries to run off with your kid? Well, one evening two nurses come barreling into my room after we sent the baby back to the pokey nursery for her daily weigh-in and they want to know if we have the monitor. Uh, no. Then they got all mad at us, like we took it off for a souvenir or something. Uh, no. Basically, the nurses lost my kids monitor, goodness knows how long she had been without it, then tried to pin it on us to keep from getting the axe or at the very least a strict talking to. It doesn't matter that eventually we found it under my fat, numb ass, but still, weren't they supposed to be monitoring her? Then, of course, my sedated mind went wild when I buzzed down for a nurse to come get my baby at 2 am and I heard her send the floor nurse in for her because she didn't have her badge and wasn't allowed to enter the room without it. My floor nurse was nice and sweet and took the baby and I went to sleep only to wake up two hours later in a sweat sure I had just let my sweet nurse hand my baby over to a deranged kidnapper. How would I explain that to Nancy Grace? Needless to say, she stayed with me after that one.

2. Just so you know....I have A+ blood. I have had A+ blood, oh, all my life, or at least known that fact since I started birthing babies six years ago. My doctor types everyone's blood at the beginning of pregnancy and the day before the birth (if you're scheduled) every single time. That means my blood has been typed, per his orders, at three different labs including the hospital, six different times. Five of those times I was A+.....the last time I was A-. How you ask? I have no freaking clue. I just know that the afternoon of Elizabeth's birth one of the nursery nurses came in and informed me that they were taking my baby to have some sort of test and shot because our blood type RHs didn't match. What? She then said I was a negative, she was a positive. Of course, I very politely disputed that and she got all pissy saying they had the results and they were shooting my baby up in ten minutes. I freaked out on her. I called my PA back at the office who called to straighten it out and they argued with her also, so OB ordered a retest....that came back negative. Then another, that came back negative. All day Friday they kept coming in typing my blood, all negative. My doctor finally came in dumbfounded and said the new lab manager told him that my blood had both negative and positive antibodies. WTF???? I flipped completely out. The lab was suggesting I change my blood type on everything....this made no freaking sense to me. I flipped out some more. OB ordered another type for Saturday morning and said we would discuss options after that. Saturday's type came back positive. Funny, but new lab manager didn't work weekends. Interesting, no? What scares me the most about this is who else's blood did he screw up who didn't know to argue about the findings? I hope there are no others, but if so, I hope they never need blood products based on that information. Really now, two blood types. Call Discovery Health Channel quick.

3. OMG.....the newborn picture girl! Why did they hire that girl? Where did they find her? She completely screwed up my only girl's first pictures....the ones I was going to hang on the wall next to identical spotted background ones of her brothers. First of all, she refused to use the spotted background and when I explained to her why I wanted it used she started that teenage eye rolling thing (because she couldnt' have been more than 15) and informed me that she didn't like it so she didn't use it. I kindly let her know that she would be using it. Then she took the baby over to a chair and started posing her on her belly all crazy like and I told the girl, hey, I just want the basic lying-on-her-back spotted background newborn scrunched up picture. Oh, no, she could do better that that so she proceeded to pluck all the flowers out of the only bouquet I received and try to surround her with them while she screamed on the spotted paper, then you know what she did? She dug in her pocket and found a pacifier and stuck it in my one day old baby's mouth! Oh no she did not! Did she not see the big fat sign on her crib that said NO BOTTLES OR PACIFIERS? I was pissed! When I explained I didn't want her having that she explained that she was such a baby expert that they all love it and take good pictures after getting one.....yep, that's the most important thing. Anyway, I keep asking for the picture I want and she posed her with the husband, complete with laptop in the background, took a picture of her wrinkly, purple feet, then laid her in that crib and tried to make her hold a pink rose like a dead person in a coffin and that's when I flipped out on her.....just take my damn picture already! Which she did finally, but I got the evil eye every time she trotted down the hall after that. OH, and that picture I coveted.....came from the company a few days later with a big ass C2 written right across it......forty bucks for a picture of my baby overshadowed by a huge C2.....asses. I called to have it replaced but haven't seen a thing yet. Good thing Derick took those hideous spotted papers off that crazy girl's hands so I can take my own now.


But even so, I still love the hospital. Every time I have ever been there on my brief vacations, I come home with the most wonderful little souvenirs.

What Day Is This?

I think in fragments these days. The sleep deprivation is getting to me. I get three straight hours a night between 1 and 4 and that's about it. Elizabeth is a night owl. Her witching hour begins at 9:30 and lasts until after midnight. She must be held, jiggled, fed, burped, and entertained with old Lost episodes during this period OR ELSE. She is also an early riser who wants to chit-chat at 5 am. If I didn't have two other kids who need attention this really wouldn't be a problem, but the whole sleep when the baby sleep thing is null and void unless you only have one child. I am not complaining, though. I knew this was my fate when I saw that tadpolish blob on the ultrasound screen in September. I kind of even like spending all that alone time with her, although it would be nice to condense into just one hour maybe.

The husband took all of last week off and "helped out". He was good keeping the boys entertained and trimming trees and mowing the lawn and running errands and moving furniture around so I shouldn't gripe........bbbbuuutttt......

Before I had kids of my own my WV friend started her own family and told me her husband was so in awe and grateful to her for giving birth to their son that he was like a new man, lavishing gifts, taking care of the baby, cleaning the house. She was kicking herself for waiting ten years to have kids. That lasted seven days and then her husband settled back into his old life and she wasn't that cool anymore. Apparently this is a phenomenon that most men go through. Mine does everytime, this time though, I was cool for only five days. By last Tuesday I was on my own during the night, pretty much, which was ironic given that the one person who wasn't supposed to be doing much (major surgery remember?) was doing it all while the rest of the house enjoyed uninterrupted slumber. Of course, he can use the old b***stfeeding argument, but, rocking a crying baby doesn't take bodily skill. I did get a pair of diamond earrings during the awe inspired phase out of it though.

The boys are doing really well with Elizabeth. Jacob kind of goes about his business as usual, but he was excited to share the news with his classmates and enjoyed passing out pink chocolate cigars to them his first day back at class. Adam is an absolute riot. Who knew a two year old could help out so much? He fetches diapers and wipes and always deposits the dirty ones in the diaper gen*e. He helps burp and pat and coo and sing and I crack up when he sniffs the baby vapor from the top of her head. He loves her immensely, probably more than me at this point. I have tried to sit in the chair with just him and he refuses. Sissy has to come too.

As for Elizabeth, I can tell she's gaining weight. When we brought her home she weighed five pounds, 15 ounces and we had to go out and get preemie diapers for her. The newborn ones fell right off her skinny rump. We only had one preemie outfit that belonged to Jacob that she wore the first couple of days until we had to twist my mom's arm to go out and buy some girl ones. She is already starting to grow out of those and into the three newborn things I have. We have gotten lots of clothes as gifts, but most of them are of the 6-9 month variety so they aren't doing us much good at the moment. I am eager to hit the Carters store once I am cleared to drive. How weird it will be to shop from the left side of the store!

I still have tons more to blog about, hopefully I will get into some sort of routine with the children soon so I can finish my birth thoughts....lots happened in that hospital....they almost lost my baby, they tried to pump me with the wrong blood type, it was loads of fun. So stay tuned, maybe I will get it churned out before summer.